Schizotypal
by mm-chan
Summary: Naruto, the brand new tenant of Gaara and Kankuro, is a bit odd and withdrawn. If only those jade eyes would quit staring at him like they saw his soul. There are, after all, some secrets he'd like to keep. AU / Gaara x Naruto.
1. The Elephant Man

**\+ + + Schizotypal + + +**

 **Disclaimer:** _I don't own 'Naruto' and I make no money from these writings._

 **Summary:** _Naruto, the brand new tenant of Gaara and Kankuro, is a bit odd and withdrawn. If only those jade eyes would quit staring at him like they saw his soul. There are, after all, some secrets he'd like to keep. AU / Gaara x Naruto._

 **A/N:** _This is an idea that has interested me for a long time already._

 _The title 'Schizotypal' refers to schizotypal personality disorder. You may find Naruto a bit OOC._

* * *

 **Chapter 1: The Elephant Man**

There was something unnerving in him. Maybe it was his quietness, or the way his eyes always seemed to study him in secret. Whatever the reason, Naruto couldn't shake off the unpleasant feeling he always had around the redhead.

He was sitting under a large, shady apple tree. In here, he was practically invisible from everyone's eyes. From his eyes.

In the distance, the target of his thoughts was watering the roses. At first, Naruto hadn't thought anything about it when he had suddenly appeared into his field of vision. It was a daily routine for the redhead and more than once he had seen the other one of his landlords carrying a large watering can around the yard.

Through the vibrantly green foliage, Naruto glanced up into the sky. It looked grey. Bet it would rain soon.

Then why…

And when his gaze returned from the skies to the yard, he saw the redhead's stare fixated into his hiding place.

He stared back at him, wondering if the other had really noticed him. His book fell off from his lap but he was too immersed to even notice. He pulled his knees closer to his body and leaned against the tree trunk, as if imitating a chameleon. And it seemed to work, for a second later the redhead turned around, heading back to the house.

Not a minute later it started to rain.

* * *

"Really Naruto, those dark rings under your eyes actually compete with Gaara's," the other one of his landlords, Kankuro, pointed out, as the three of them were sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast. This morning was like any other one. Kankuro had once again put his amazing cooking skills into good use and prepared this delicious breakfast for his younger brother, Gaara, and Naruto, their brand new tenant.

"Oh…" Naruto only said, rubbing his tired eyes. He hadn't any memory of falling asleep last night but he had woken up from some sort of drowse when he had heard sounds from the downstairs.

He was too tired to even yawn. When Kankuro put a bowl of yoghurt and berries in front of him, he momentarily paid attention to the surrounding world again. Now the house was full of life and sunlight, and he didn't even need to glance around to know that Sackhead and his little friends were nowhere near.

"Naruto?" It was Kankuro's voice.

"Come again?" Naruto said, glancing at the general direction of the brunette.

"I asked did you sleep well," Kankuro repeated.

If only! Naruto gave a quick look into the black eyes. Mistake. Quickly, Naruto looked away. Even though he now intently studied his breakfast, he could feel the brunette's gaze boring into him. He wished his attention would be directed elsewhere, anywhere, but at him. "I slept okay."

And hopefully, that information would cease the brunette's interest in him.

In order to distract himself from the tension, he searched for a spot on the table he could rest his eyes on. The spot capturing his attention happened to be the numerous wristbands on Gaara's arm. The pale fingers were delicate and the way they held a spoon in the air was actually quite captivating.

But why was the spoon, filled with yoghurt and berries, not moving towards the redhead's mouth but stayed awkwardly in mid-way? Curious, the blond lifted his gaze from the milky white skin to the equally pale face.

Jade, cold eyes.

Staring at _him_. Searching his soul, weren't they?

And in a split-second they were cast down again. The spoon found its way to Gaara's mouth, and suddenly nothing seemed out of ordinary in their quiet little breakfast session.

Naruto gulped, feeling suddenly nauseated. His earlier appetite was gone and all he could see in his breakfast bowl were the pair of all-seeing, unblinking green eyes. The reason he felt anxious around Gaara was different from the reason why he avoided Kankuro's eyes. But he didn't want to go there now. Hurriedly, he finished his meal and stood up. Work wouldn't start until an hour but he didn't feel like killing time in here anymore.

"Thanks for the breakfast," Naruto said and took his bowl to the sink. He didn't wait for anyone to reply as he hurried upstairs into the safety of his room.

* * *

 _Naruto_ knew _that he was alone in his small little room, yet still he felt the presence of another. Under his thick blanket, the air was so thick it was hard to breathe. Ignoring his sweat, he lay still and quiet. Pushing the cover aside was out of question, for it would reveal him to his invisible enemy. And if that happened, he would die from fright._

 _He felt like a little rodent locked up in a cage with a lion._

 _Someone was dragging dead bodies on the floor, back and forth. He could_ hear _that, yet he knew that if he peeked through the covers, the room would be empty. But if he peeked,_ they _would notice him and come after him. Naruto tried to calm his screaming heart and breathe evenly. Ignoring his sweat was harder and harder with each passing minute._

 _Oh yes, he knew_ who _was dragging those dead bodies. That guy had been starring his nightmares and intruding his good night's sleep for so long that there was no doubt. This night's visitor was a deformed man with an old sack covering his head. The Sackhead. Only a look at his bare face would send anyone into the depths of terror. There were three black holes in the sack: two for the eyes and one for the mouth._

 _Naruto knew what the guy looked like without the mask. He had seen him._

 _And he would never forget that sight._

 _Of course his rational side tried to remind him that the Elephant man was_ not _handling deceased in this small room, yet he constantly heard the lugging noise. Maybe it was his own blood rushing in his ears, maybe not, but soon this situation would get unbearable._

 _Suddenly, the lugging sound ended and Naruto's heart almost stopped then, too. With his hearing strained to its uttermost limit, he listened to the night. Someone was breathing heavily right next to his bed. Oh god, the Elephant man was_ surely _standing close now, staring at him in the darkness! And what was that, was someone touching the covers? Or was it just his body twitching from the heat and loss of fresh air? Naruto couldn't be sure._

 _Most likely his ultimate nightmare #1 had just tried to reach him through the blanket._

 _Oh god,_ oh god _! That_ being _, or_ they _―_ _for who knew if there were other beings like aliens in this room_ _―were coming to get him! Naruto knew that when that happened, he would see their faces and get a heart attack out of fear. And then, he would die._

 _He would_ die _._

 _Naruto couldn't take it anymore. He was sweaty and in desperate need of fresh air. In order to survive, he would have to make an escape. When he felt another poke on the covers he let out a muffled, frightened cry and pushed the blanket to the floor, ran towards the door, opened it, and burst into the tiny bathroom that was located right across his room._

 _More quickly than he could even realize, he had turned on the lights and locked the door. Now somewhat safe, he leaned on the tiles and slowly slid down to the floor. He was sure he heard some footsteps from the corridor and it scarily seemed that the sound stopped right behind the locked door of the bathroom._

 _So, the bastard had followed him here?_

 _Naruto swept his sweaty face with his palms and tried to collect his spiraling thoughts._

 _He looked at his watch_ _―_ _he always had it with him_ _―and_ _it was well after midnight already. Only four more hours until sun would come up. And with the sun, his landlords Kankuro and Gaara would wake up too. This house would be full of light and finally, it would be safe for him to venture out of here. These dead, gloomy hours of the night were the worst, and he would trade them into eternal sunshine anytime._

 _Not every night was this difficult. Maybe he had consumed too much caffeine during the day? Or maybe the thrilling movie he'd seen the other day had triggered his imagination? Only though…_ these things _felt so real that it was hard to believe it was all just his imagination._

 _Footsteps from the corridor alerted him from his thoughts again. Was it the Elephant man making another round?_

 _This time though, those steps sounded so_ real _._

 _If he concentrated enough, he could almost feel the floor tremble. With a shaky breath, Naruto fixated his gaze to the door knob. He was just_ imagining _things._

 _But when the knob turned ever so slightly before facing the restrictions of the lock, Naruto almost screamed._

That _had been_ real. _He had just seen it. And he was sure he had heard the almost inaudible rasp caused by the mechanisms of the lock._

 _With newfound terror, Naruto pulled his knees closer to his body, gaze never leaving the door. His mind was blank except from the fright that was bigger than life. That bastard would not get him. He would fight until the end, and he would scream if he had to._

 _But when nothing else happened for a long time, Naruto relaxed a bit. These things were getting way more realistic than what he was comfortable with. Sighing, he rubbed his face._

 _This was going to be a long night._

* * *

In his room he finally felt at ease again. Here, those scorching eyes would not study him.

He happened to look outside, into the greenery of the landscape, and quickly turned away. No more _green_ , no matter how much he liked that color of life. Orange was better, orange was familiar, and so he went through his wardrobe and chose an outfit for the day. His trademark sweater (orange, what else) was his daily armor, for it masked him as anybody. Or so he hoped.

Through his closed door, he could hear the stairs creaking. Someone was coming up here. Steps on the corridor neared his door but they didn't stop at it, however, and continued further. So, Gaara was going back to his room. He and Gaara had their rooms upstairs, next to each other. And across the corridor was that little bathroom Naruto had darted into just last night. Kankuro had his room downstairs next to the kitchen and the living room. On the underground floor they had a larger bathroom and a sauna.

He had lived here for a month now. The rent was quite high, but he didn't have to buy food of his own. During his time here, he had learned to love Kankuro's cooking. All he was expected to do was pay his rent on time, keep his room clean and not cause any unnecessary disturbance around the house.

So far, he had liked it here.

The older one of the brothers, Kankuro, liked to open conversations with him, like any normal person would. If he was honest with himself, he had to admit he liked the brunette's voice. In its normalcy, it was intriguing. His voice could be a sole instrument―it didn't need a companion. Maybe that was why their conversations never lasted very long. Naruto liked to listen, but he didn't find the need to reply.

Then there was the other brother, Gaara.

Naruto walked to the window and looked at the blossoming garden. If he hid under those big bushes, how long would it take until someone would find him? It was a silly idea, but sometimes he wished he'd have a secret hiding place only he knew of.

He took his bag from the floor and quietly left his room. Climbing down the stairs without making any noise was a skill he had already mastered in his recent weeks here. The key was to avoid stepping on the center of a stair, but on the very side instead. And don't step on that one, innocent looking stair in the middle―it will always creak no matter what.

"Are you heading to work?" Kankuro asked, as he saw Naruto put on his shoes on the hall.

"Yep," the blond replied, his hand on the door knob already.

"Wait for me, I'm going to check the mailbox."

To that, Naruto only replied by stopping his hurry. He kept his hand on the knob, finding the metallic coolness oddly calming.

"Do you like your job?" Kankuro asked, bravely trying to make small talk once again.

"It's alright I guess," Naruto decided. It was just a bookstore and he was just a clerk. It wasn't his dream job, but it hadn't turned into a nightmare yet, either. So far, everything was tolerable.

"How long have you been working there again?" the brunette asked, as they made their way through the garden that surrounded the house.

"Two years," the blond replied.

He remembered telling these things to the older brother once earlier already. He had a nagging feeling that feigning forgetfulness was just an excuse to open a conversation. The way the brunette nonverbally responded to his answers gave away the lack of surprise these answers caused him. That was because the information was not new, nor was it heard for the first time.

"It looks like it's going to rain again," Kankuro mused, looking up at the clouds.

"Perhaps," Naruto said, admiring the blossoming roses along their path. Their pointless exchange of words was lulling him into a quite relaxed state. At first, he had been anxious at sharing this moment with anyone, but now he decided that having Kankuro walk beside him wasn't so bad after all.

"Can I ask you a favor?"

The sense of relaxation quickly vanished. Naruto slowed down his pace as he noticed the brunette had fallen behind. Oh, the mailbox was there, and Kankuro was standing right next to it.

"What is it?" Naruto asked, looking at the roses, at the clouds. When he saw the brunette do the same, he stole a prolonged glance at him.

"Next weekend there's a botanical exhibition not far away from Konoha. I promised to take Gaara there," Kankuro explained, looking at the numerous flowers like he was apologizing to them.

Naruto waited. He didn't want to jump into any unnecessary conclusions. Hopefully the brunette would ask him to watch the house while the brothers were away.

Kankuro took the mail out of the box and went through the letters in a half-interested manner. Naruto knew the conversation wasn't over even though he had chosen not to reply. And he had a vague feeling he could not get away from this, not this time.

Naruto looked at Kankuro, when the man suddenly lifted his gaze to meet his.

"My boss asked me to work on weekend. And I couldn't say no."

Neither could Naruto say no to those eyes. Before his expression could reveal anything, he looked down at his shoes, at the grit and grass under his feet. "Alright I'll take him."

"Thanks, I owe you one," Kankuro said, relieved.

Naruto nodded, not sure when or how to utilize that debt of gratitude. He was once again getting caught up in his own thoughts when the brunette suddenly bid him goodbye and started walking back into the house. As Naruto watched his retreating figure, he realized he had forgotten to ask why Gaara couldn't go there by himself.

* * *

Work was alright. He preferred these boring, sluggish days when only a handful of customers chose to visit this place. In the long run, quietness was bad for the business, but Naruto refused to feel sorry for enjoying it.

"Check this out," his co-worker said, and draped her phone towards him.

It was a short, funny-intended video where people got hurt by their own stupidity. Naruto couldn't resist smiling. There was something mischievous at entertaining themselves at work like this.

"Put that away, Sakura. What if boss will see us?" Naruto said, now subtly glancing around the store like he was trying to locate hidden surveillance cameras. Their cheap boss had said they didn't have those, but who knew?

"Nah, she won't mind. It's so quiet in here today," Sakura replied, tapping her phone screen.

Naruto agreed. Sakura was Tsunade's favorite employee. There was no way she would ever face consequences for this kind of behavior. Naruto, on the other hand, had never dared to do anything non-work related during his shifts. Even though he wasn't the employee of the month (and would never be), he still had some kind of standards he prided.

"Are you free this weekend?" Sakura asked, swinging her pink hair out of her face.

The motion didn't go unnoticed by Naruto. Not many would notice it, but there were at least three shades of pink in her hair. The ones in her neck were slightly darker than the tresses framing her face. Naruto closed his eyes for a moment. Her subtle perfume wafted into his nose. To imagine he had once had a crush on her. It didn't feel like a lifetime ago.

"I have plans for the weekend," Naruto finally said.

"You? With whom?" Sakura couldn't hide her amusement.

She was looking at him in disbelief, and he smiled at her, almost rolling his eyes to make a point. Yes, he did have a life. It just didn't mean going out or having plans with numerous people at every possible moment.

"I have plans with my landlord."

"Gah! I knew it was something boring," Sakura laughed, looking at him apologetically.

Naruto laughed, too, knowing she was only joking. She would never belittle him or his way of life, and their respect for each other was mutual.

"What are you going to do, then?" Naruto asked, flipping through the books that were displayed on the counter.

"Oh, me and Tenten are just going to the cottage for the weekend," Sakura said casually, like it was no big deal. The way she shrugged and then looked at him from the corner of her eye reminded him of a sly fisherman.

And of course, Naruto caught the bait.

"What! Now way!" he exclaimed, putting the book away and staring at his friend intently. He loved the cottage! They always took him with them, and he loved them for it. That little cabin in the woods was a special place to him, a place where he had spent many of his summers.

"Yeah, that's right. Are you sure you still got plans with your landlord, Naruto?" Sakura teased and winked at him. Naruto laughed uneasily, for he knew she was only fooling around. Her eyes looked devious, but it was a part of this joke between them. Sakura waited, watching intently at his inner debate.

Naruto sighed, mentally cursing Kankuro's boss. Why now of all weekends? Being with Sakura and Tenten was the best. Oh, he could remember all those homey nights in the dimly-lit cottage, them sitting in front of the log-fire and playing cards. Tenten would have wine a few glasses too many, and she would start clinging onto him. And he would laugh and know that it was just a funny joke between them. And it wouldn't take too long until Sakura would smack their heads, telling them to concentrate on the game. Oh, those were the times!

"Is Sasuke coming?" Naruto asked, going through the book again.

"Nah. You know what he's like. He isn't interested in going there," Sakura said and shrugged.

"He's a fool," Naruto pointed out, giving a meaningful look at his friend.

"I know. But he's mine fool. Besides, it's nice to have a weekend without him around, if you know what I mean. Too bad you can't come with us. I was looking forward to it," she said, her warm green eyes meeting his blue ones.

"I'm sorry," he said, feeling sorry for himself, too.

* * *

 _Dear diary,_

 _I wish I had the ability to make myself invisible. Or better yet would be the ability to change shape and appearance into anybody else. I would be thrilled to walk on the street and finally blend in. Is that how everyone else feels? Do they ever feel like an outsider, or is it just me?_

 _It feels like nobody understands me. Trying to connect, and failing time after time, I've finally decided to stop opening up. It's too painful. From now on, I'm just going to pretend to be like everybody and hope no one figures me out. The worst thing that could happen_ _―_

The knock on his door interrupted his writing. Hastily, he closed the little diary and got up from his desk. These solitary moments spent at his desk, gazing out of the window into the greenery were important to him. That was the reason why he was slightly irritated when he opened the door.

"Gaara?"

The jade eyes looked at him calmly, without any describable emotion. In the dim corridor, his pale skin emphasized those dark, dark rings around his eyes. It couldn't be just eyeliner, Naruto thought. Its origin had to be something more lasting.

Gaara's gaze moved from Naruto to some distant point behind his back. Naruto looked around himself, wondering in what the other was so intrigued in. His diary lay on the desk, an uncapped pen thrown on top of it in obvious hurry.

"What did you want?" Naruto asked.

The jade eyes' focus returned to the blond. "Kankuro told me you promised to take me to the exhibition."

"Yeah," Naruto admitted, trying to keep irritation out of his voice. At first his moment of solitude had been interrupted, and now he was reminded of the lost opportunity to go to the cottage. "I said I could take you there."

"You don't have to."

The words surprised Naruto. Suddenly, his earlier irritation vanished. "No, it's okay. I don't mind taking you there, really."

The redhead said nothing to that, and only looked at him in silent evaluation. For some reason that Naruto couldn't explain to himself, the silence felt awkward. Did other people ever feel like he did now, when he chose not to take part in conversations? He had never really thought about it.

"Let's hit the road early on Saturday, right?" Naruto asked. The earlier they left, the earlier it would be over.

For an answer, Gaara nodded and made his way towards his own room. When Naruto was sure the redhead would not come back, and that this weird conversation was really over, he closed the door.

The earlier frustration was back in him as he sat down and took the pen in his hand. His mood for writing was gone. Annoyed, he looked through the window, into the well-kept garden. There was something calming in those blossoming bushes and the tidy flowerbeds. On some parts, the garden was quite disciplined but on other areas flowers and plants were growing freely without much restriction. Even weeds seemed to have their own area where they would not be rooted out.

The whole garden looked like some sort of an experiment.

And he had never really seen anything quite like that before.

* * *

It was five thirty on the Saturday morning. The sun wasn't up, the world wasn't up, and the brothers were not up.

But Naruto was up.

It would be only half an hour, or less, until this room would be filled with tender sunlight, which would burn away the deformed monsters that breathed in the shadowy corners. From the moment he had woken up, he had realized he wasn't alone.

In the crepuscular room he had refused to hide under the blanket. He could see well enough that the rays of sun were mere minutes away from his window. His rescue was on its way, and nothing bad would happen to him in the meanwhile. Closing his eyes was out of question, of course, for he wasn't stupid. If he closed his eyes it would immediately bring back the darkness where those creatures lived in, and they would not waste a second to get at him.

Heart pounding heavily, Naruto began to hum. Noise kept them away. Light forced them to retreat into their pitiful, secret hiding places.

He wanted to get up from the bed but he couldn't. If he tried, he would be dragged under it. The best he could do was lie here, eyes open, and count the seconds to dawn.

What was that noise?

A shiver ran down his spine. It had sounded so real. And now he could hear it again.

Pulling his legs closer to his body, Naruto strained his hearing. For some moments, everything was eerily quiet. Maybe he had overreacted. Perhaps the stress of the upcoming day was finally getting to him. The feeling that someone was _definitely_ under his bed was getting stronger. And that something was waiting for him to close his eyes or blink so that it could lunge at him when he least expected it.

Knock, knock. "Naruto?"

He gasped. Suddenly the threat under his bed was subsiding. That knock was real, a different kind of real than the shadowy beings.

"Are you awake yet?"

With a bolt of energy, Naruto jumped up from the bed and leaped to the door. Never had he been so glad to see Gaara standing there.

"Morning," he said with fake cheerfulness.

Gaara didn't reply verbally, only evaluated him with those mysterious eyes. Naruto kept his door open, as if to show off to the creatures that the redhead was right there, and they could do nothing to him while he stood there. Even before sunlight, he was now safe.

"Breakfast is ready."

"Oh? I didn't hear any sounds from downstairs," Naruto said, opening up his door a bit more.

When the redhead started to head towards the stairs, a sudden panic hit the blond. "Wait."

With a questioning look, Gaara turned to him.

"I want to ask you something. Come here," Naruto waved, and went back into his room. Under any other circumstances he doubted he would've done this.

"I was wondering…" Naruto began, going to the window and pulling the curtains aside. Now he wasn't afraid of any shadowy corner because the redhead was standing in the middle of the room. "Why does your garden look like that? It's half-wild, half-aligned."

Gaara stepped to the window, too. The moment before he answered was long enough to Naruto to notice how perfectly shaped his ear was. It was unpierced and the auricle reminded him of a labyrinth. Was his mind a maze, too? Would there be a Minotaurus of his own (like the one in Naruto's mind) which was held captive by the brain, unable to be exorcised?

"A garden should not be a portrait of discipline and control, but a demonstration of nurture. But some flowers flourish only if they face very little competition or none at all. That's why some flowerbeds are neater than the others."

Naruto nodded feebly. What a beautiful description. He had never before realized that under that restrained exterior, the redhead could be capable of such insight. Of course, he hadn't really talked to him that much to begin with.

With a quick glance at the labyrinth-like ear, Naruto asked, "Are you the gardener? Or is it your brother?"

"Kankuro's not interested in that kind of thing."

The blond nodded in understanding. Gaara's reply was a funny way to put it. He didn't say he was the mastermind behind that chaotic order. Instead, he chose to mention his older brother as if he was uneasy about being the center of attention.

The natural light was finally taking over the room and its every corner. Naruto sighed in relief. He felt a lot easier now, and then his thoughts drifted back to the breakfast. Not even Gaara's far too intense attention on him could make him lose his appetite at the moment. When his stomach rumbled loudly, he only smiled sheepishly at the redhead.

* * *

Whenever Naruto later on reminisced about their trip to the botanical exhibition, he couldn't help thinking it as a turning point in their relationship.

Naruto was driving the car, his eyes steady in the horizon. Asphalt vanished mile by mile under the vehicle. To him it felt like they were slowly eating the landscape away.

To Naruto's delight and to Gaara's horror they had hit the road with the blond's partially rusty, slightly tape-fixed but ever so trustworthy Škoda Felicia.

"Come on, hop in," Naruto had smiled, unlocking the doors.

Gaara had eyed the red set of wheels with justified doubt. To Naruto, it had looked like the redhead was wondering if he really was expected to enter.

Radio was essential travel equipment. Clenching the wheel with his other hand, Naruto adjusted the channels in order to find them something good to listen to. Plain silence felt kind of oppressing in his opinion.

"Mind if I sing?" the blond asked as cheery pop melodies crackled from the minimalistic stereo system.

The redhead didn't reply but only turned to look out of the passenger's window. In all honesty Naruto hadn't expected him to answer, and by now he had learned that Gaara was not a very talkative person. Neither was Naruto, but in the redhead's presence he strangely felt the need to fill the silence with meaningless chatter.

"How long have you been into gardening?" he asked, quickly glancing at the redhead before returning his attention to the road.

"Maybe ten years or so," Gaara replied.

"Whoa, that's quite an achievement," the blond exclaimed. He gave a quick smile to the guy. What was wrong with him? He rarely smiled this easily. There was something in this guy that made him nervous and confident at the same time. "Why haven't you turned it into your occupation yet?"

"I have."

"Really? Then why…?" Naruto trailed off. As far as he knew, the redhead spent all his days at home.

"There are no jobs," Gaara stated in a monotonous voice, then added as an afterthought, "For someone like me."

There was no self-pity, no bitterness. It was like a fact he was only stating.

Naruto understood, though he wasn't sure if the reason why he identified with the sad statement had anything in common with what Gaara had meant with it in the first place. Jobs were difficult. Jobs required dealing with people, and if you weren't even average with people, you had much to none hope of finding yourself employed.

"That sucks," was all Naruto could say. "I think it's impressive what you've done with your garden."

"Well, it's not something other people find interesting enough."

"People are stupid," the blond shrugged, for he knew all too well. To him Gaara didn't strike as someone who had low self-confidence, but nevertheless he felt the need to encourage him.

The exhibition was larger than Naruto had at first imagined. And unlike he had feared in advance, he actually enjoyed his time there. His companion didn't converse much but kept on studying the vast information that was offered in various departments. Everyone seemed to be so greatly immersed in the actual exhibit that nobody seemed to be paying attention to Naruto.

When off the spotlight, he felt easy and even relaxed. Usually these kinds of mass events would give him a panic attack of varying degree. For always he felt out of place, like a piece of a puzzle that never fit but was there in the box nevertheless. Now no one was looking at him in a funny way, and when familiar sensations of oncoming breakdown were detectable, he quickly directed his attention to Gaara, trying to give his mind something else to concentrate on.

To his surprise, it worked.

They managed to find a quiet spot in the nearby cafeteria. They ate in mutual silence, and Naruto took this moment to inspect the redhead across from him. Gaara was an odd person. Not only was he strikingly quiet but his looks differed from the medium, too. Red was an uncommon color of hair almost everywhere. A quick glance around the place proved that no one else had similar dominant trait in their genes.

Definitely Gaara was not shy. He just seemed not to have the need to share his thoughts aloud.

As the jade eyes found his studying gaze, Naruto flashed a friendly smile at him. Caught. What was wrong with him? He felt like he should talk again to cover up the profound silence. Normal people talked the whole time with ease. He wanted to be like that, so that he could cover up what he was really like.

"Have you liked the exhibition so far?" Naruto asked between mouthfuls.

Gaara nodded, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "It has been interesting."

"What sparked you into this thing?" the blond inquired.

"My family hails from Suna, which is a desert country not far away from here," Gaara began. He had finished his meal and now held his hands in his lap. "As you know there is not much vegetation in the desert. You can imagine my surprise when we eventually moved into Konoha. The greenness was breathtaking."

Naruto nodded, a ghost of a smile on his lips. He, too, loved the greenery.

"Back then I had no friends," the redhead suddenly continued, and captured Naruto's attention once again. "To have something to do, I took interest in gardening. I was also encouraged by father, who saw my enthusiasm as a mean to get the garden around our house look presentable. The earlier residents had not had an eye for things like that."

Again, Naruto nodded for a reply. He wanted to address the little detail his companion had mentioned in passing. The lack of friends had been brought up so casually, so painlessly, like it hadn't bothered him the slightest. Naruto had always had friends. Only a very few though but it was more than none. He didn't dare to imagine what he would be like nowadays without them.

A sudden shiver galloped up his spine like a bolted racehorse.

Staring at the bottom of his glass, Naruto spoke. "Well do you have friends nowadays? Do they appreciate your skills?"

Silence fell over them and Naruto looked up, wondering if the redhead had heard him in the first place. Jade eyes met blue, yet gave away no emotion whatsoever.

"I have no interest in friends."

"Is that so?" Naruto shrugged, wondering if he really felt as surprised as he let on. The conversation was making him uneasy for reasons he didn't want to dwell on right now.

"Tell me, Gaara," he started casually, "If I wanted to have a plant in my room, what would be the best choice for a beginner like me?"

"You couldn't keep it alive."

"Hey―that's not fair!" Naruto exclaimed, knocking the bottom of his glass on the table. He could keep a plant alive. Even he was not _that_ clumsy.

His exasperation seemed to amuse the redhead. Damn him! In his seat, Naruto fumed in silence.

"The way you keep losing your keys and phone in the oddest places doesn't convince me of your care. Plants require some habit after all," Gaara pointed out but his voice was not totally humorless.

"I don't keep on losing my things," the blond defended, still hurt from the other's insight. "And I have my keys right here," he said, fumbling the pockets of his jeans. "Right here," he said again, confident and stubborn even though when he pulled his pockets inside out, nothing but a fluffy piece of lint flew away.

Naruto rubbed his face, not bothering to look at the annoying redhead, for he knew the I-told-you-so expression would be on his face. His keys weren't lost. They just were not in his pockets at the moment. He couldn't recall their whereabouts right now, but he knew they were _not_ lost.

After lunch, they continued with the exhibition. Naruto's sour mood was soon forgotten as they walked past colorful orchids and giant flytraps and such. Everything out of ordinary caught his attention. He was so immersed in his amazement that he forgot his inner panic, constant cautiousness and fear of standing out from the crowd.

As they walked back to the car, Naruto was more relaxed than he had been in a long time. He couldn't even remember his lost keys until he opened the door and found it unlocked. Innocently, his keys hung from the ignition switch. With an I-told-you-so look of his own, he glanced at Gaara before starting the car.

Somewhere along their way back home an unexpected clatter started at first quietly, but it steadily grew louder and louder, making it harder to ignore.

Naruto turned up the volume of the radio, trying to sing along with a rock'n'roll song. "Don't mind about the noise. It sometimes does that."

Serious jade eyes looked at him, momentarily glancing at the dashboard and the little orange and red symbols glowing in there. Some of them were covered with tape, and Naruto felt like he should explain this easy-fix of his.

"Nothing's wrong with the motor, don't worry. You couldn't get this car broken even if you tried to. I guess they're right that all the best things were made in the 90's," he said, patting the dashboard like it was a living being. He and Felicia '96 had gone through a lot together. She would not let him down even now.

After they had crossed the border of Konoha again, something in Gaara's presence seemed to relax. Maybe it was the lazy way he leaned his head against the window. Or the way he had straightened his legs as far as they could go. By himself, Naruto smiled. He sang a song after another, never really remembering all of the lyrics but a rhyme here and there. In the horizon, the setting sun was reaching the treetops.

"Can we stop at the supermarket?"

It was Gaara's voice that brought him out of his musings. "Sure."

With a jarring hum the old faithful Felicia stopped in the parking lot, once again bringing its passengers to the finish line with uttermost reliability. Naruto got off the car, too, this time making a mental note to grab the keys with him.

"Hey! Plant Boy!"

The harsh tone startled Naruto. A boisterous young man with a few fellows walked into Gaara's direction. The smug look on their faces made Naruto instantly frown.

"How's it going, twit?"

Gaara looked unfazed at the comment as he stood there, silently evaluating the situation. The three men stood now in front of him with sly expressions on their faces.

"Long time no see. We've missed you," the tallest of them said, and shoved him on the shoulder. It was masked as a manly gesture but it was clear to everyone that the real message behind it was something else.

Still Gaara decided not to speak. This seemed to aggravate the men, and one of them grabbed the shoulder of his shirt and pushed him against the car.

"Hey watch out!" Naruto exclaimed, surprising himself too. With unknown confidence he walked to the other side of the car and stared down the young men.

The man let go of Gaara's shirt but the intimidation didn't leave his figure. "Who the hell are you, pinhead?"

"I live with him," Naruto snapped.

Roars of laughter echoed through the parking lot as the three guys exchanged looks with one another, then eyed the blond and the equally unfazed redhead. It was too late now for Naruto to realize he should've phrased his thoughts in a different way. Gaara didn't seem to mind about the misunderstanding, however, and it gave him confidence to go on like nothing had happened.

"To be honest we always thought you were a fairy," the tallest of them said, and shoved Gaara against the car.

"Leave him alone," Naruto gnarled and pushed the man into the chest with sudden anger. When the man backed up a few steps, he shoved him again with more fury this time.

The insulting young man retreated backwards and held his hands up in the air in some conciliatory way. "Calm down, man, we were just talking. Gaara is an old friend of us."

Everything happened quite suddenly. Naruto gripped the man's front and punched him in the nose. The victim looked at him in obvious shock, and it seemed his pride had taken a more severe blow than his now broken nose.

"Dude what the fuck!?" the man screamed, as Naruto kept on coming closer, ready to do it again.

"Leave," Naruto whispered, really meaning what he had said. As his bloodied hand fumbled towards the man again, all three of them fled with panicked strides.

He looked at their retreating figures, trying to calm himself down. This confidence, he did not want it. Not now. With deep breaths, he tried to root himself back to the present. The hard, hot asphalt under his thin shoe soles. Birds croaking up in the sky. Gaara's hand on his shoulder.

"Gaara?" he turned around.

He didn't know how to interpret that expression. It was serious and worried at the same time. Or was it?

"You don't have to defend me."

Naruto averted his gaze. He wiped the blood in his hand to his jeans. He should try to concentrate on the present moment. At Gaara's band T-shirt. At the studded belt on his hips. At the sliding doors of the supermarket opening and closing in a steady rhythm.

"I know. I just hate it when people damage my car," he finally replied. Gaze still on the pavement, he walked past Gaara towards the shop.

The redhead caught him up and side by side, they entered the store. Naruto walked a few steps behind him, following him like a shadow. He felt sick and agitated. This was not him in his head.

"Who were they?" Naruto asked, wondering if anyone else noticed his odd mood.

"Just a few idiots from school," Gaara replied with an emotionless voice. Again, it sounded like he was just stating a fact. "They used to make my life difficult back then"

"Uh-huh." He didn't want to hear more. More of these sad stories would mean more anger. More anger meant more power, but not to him.

"They used to make fun of me. And one time, they managed to destroy half of our garden. It wasn't until Kankuro noticed them that they stopped and ran away."

Naruto wanted to punch something. How satisfying would it be to feel their skulls cracking under his fist, to feel the warm, _hot_ blood seeping from their twisted brains.

"That's horrible," he whispered through gritted teeth, clenching his fist.

"Are you alright?" Gaara stopped and looked at him calmly. "You seem angry."

"O-oh yeah?" Naruto breathed, averting his eyes. He _had_ to act normal now. Gaara had noticed, hadn't he! And the way those intrusive jade eyes were once again boring into him, there was no way he _wouldn't_ see what lay inside of him.

When they had pushed Gaara against the car the first time, it had started as a feeling in the pit of his stomach.

After the second push, that feeling had personified and that person had begun clawing his way up.

And then, everything had escalated quickly and that person had grown bigger, reaching Naruto's eye-level and filling his head so that nothing else fit there.

Kyuubi was a jerk Naruto thought was long gone. He didn't need him in his life, and least of all he needed him to fight his fights for him. It was always the same with him: violence and threats and punching people in the faces. The police, whenever alerted to the scene, easily assumed the reason to his behavior was something usual, and Naruto never rushed to correct that misconception. After all, he was a young man, and young men were statistically more prone to violence and injuries than the rest of the demographics.

"Naruto?"

"I'm just tired," the blond lied. He didn't dare to meet his companion's eyes. These were his orange sleeves and there were his hands. He was he, to anybody else. Yet he was afraid that if he met Gaara's gaze, the other would see _that someone else_ rather than the real him.

The redhead seemed to accept his explanation. In silence, they went through the store, Naruto always a few steps behind. He met no one's eyes but instead concentrated on upholding his inner peace. Even a slight annoyance could fuel him back into more severe state.

Back in the parking lot, Naruto unlocked the doors. "Do you want to drive?"

"No," Gaara replied as he put his groceries on the back seat.

"Come on, Felicia is a good girl. You can trust her," the blond said, patting the roof affectionately.

The redhead glanced at the time-worn vehicle before giving Naruto a prolonged stare. "I don't have a driver's license."

"Are you serious?" Naruto asked. But the redhead didn't offer any further explanation as he already sat down to the passenger's seat.

Sighing, the blond got in the car, too. The frenetic vibes still lingered in the parking lot like they had never dissolved. He clenched the wheel, wondering if it was a good idea to drive in an emotional state like this. Before the redhead could comment his minute hesitation in any way, he was already starting the car and taking them home. Somewhere in his throat, Kyuubi still hummed but his energy was much weaker than moments before.

* * *

Everyone was quiet at the supper.

Not even Kankuro had anything to say.

Very briefly Naruto wondered which things of their day Gaara had decided to share with his brother. A small part of him was afraid they would consider him unstable and evicted him. What was under the surface? The tension felt unbearable at least to him. It couldn't be just his imagination.

Subtly he tried to check if the brothers were giving each other any meaningful glances. Was something going on behind his back? And why was the brunette so quiet all of the sudden?

Gaara was the first to leave the table. Following suit, Naruto got up too. He couldn't have been the first to leave, for he feared it would've been rude and would only worsen his dire situation. His landlords would doom him not only lunatic but impolite, too.

He followed the redhead as he made his way out of the kitchen. In the stairs, he couldn't help his eyes resting on Gaara's swaying, narrow hips. The chains that hung from the loops of his jeans moved in the rhythm of his steps.

Naruto was about to go to his room when Gaara's words stopped him.

"Come here."

The blond followed him along the dim corridor. He had never been in this end of it. He was about to follow Gaara into his room, when the redhead suddenly turned around. "Wait here."

Naruto nodded, staring at his toes. He felt uneasy again. What was Gaara fetching from his room? Was it a notice of eviction? Or some sort of proof they had gathered against him? Surely no one knew of his few bursts into the tiny bathroom at night. He liked to think his nightly terrors were a secret no one else knew about. He scanned around the corridor, trying to spot any kind of surveillance system. He found no evidence but the fact didn't relieve his mind.

"Here."

It was Gaara again who brought him out of his little bubble. The redhead was holding a little plant.

"This is _Mammillaria bocasana_ , or a powder puff cactus if you like. You need to water it only rarely. Otherwise it's content with a sunny spot on the sill."

A little perplexed, Naruto accepted the pot. Was this a gift? Or a thank you? How was he supposed to interpret this gesture?

"Thanks," he muttered, looking at the cactus rather than the giver. From his peripheral vision he saw the pale hands hanging on his sides, relaxed. The wristbands hung loosely, close to the palm. He had never noticed it before, but it looked like there was something reddish―

"Goodnight," the redhead suddenly said and retreated into his room. The door was closed a second later. After that, silence filled the corridor once again.

With equally silent steps, Naruto retreated into his own room. The peculiar cactus found a place on the sill. He eyed its hooked spines and the white fur that covered the whole plant. It was an odd thing, just like its giver.

"I hope you like it there," he whispered and closed the curtains.

When he lay down on the bed, the cactus' shadow on the curtains looked bigger than the plant itself. As strange as it was, he had a feeling that today, Gaara had left a more permanent mark in his life than just that shadowy reflection.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Thanks for reading. I'd love to hear your thoughts._


	2. Dreams of Drowning

**\+ + + Schizotypal + + +**

 **Disclaimer:** _I don't own 'Naruto' and I make no money from these writings._

 **A/N:** _Thank you so much for the lovely reviews! You guys made my day, each one of you, I really mean it._

 _UPDATE March 29th 2018: I changed the title of this chapter from 'Stones' to 'Dreams of Drowning'. I think it's better, and when I earlier pondered what the title of this second chapter would be, I wasn't totally happy with 'Stones' but decided to go with it anyways at that time._

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Dreams of Drowning  
**

"I was wondering if I could bring a friend over tomorrow," Naruto started as he helped Kankuro collect the plates from the table after dinner.

"Of course you can," the brunette said casually. "I didn't know you had friends."

Under the surface, the comment hurt Naruto. He knew he was odd in some ways, but to assume he had no friends at all was a bit far-fetched, wasn't it?

It seemed his companion noticed his mood. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you in any way. You just remind me so much of Gaara that…" he trailed off as he, too, realized there was no good way to end that sentence.

"It's okay," Naruto said quietly, his attention on the dirty dishes. He wanted to correct the misunderstanding that he and Gaara were alike. They were not.

"So, who's your friend?" Kankuro changed the subject.

"She's a girl I've known since childhood. Her name is Sakura and she works at the bookstore, too," the blond said.

"Ah, a girl," the brunette smiled, and the glee was audible in his voice, too. "I didn't know you had a girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend," Naruto corrected quietly. What was with people always assuming that a boy and a girl could never be just friends? Even though, a big part of him had wished her to be his special someone not too long ago. With sadness, he shook the idea away.

All this while he shared the kitchen with Kankuro, he made effort not to meet his dark eyes. It wasn't that he didn't like to look at him, but he liked to inspect him in secret and from afar. The brunette was _normal_ in the same way as Sakura, but around him Naruto never felt at ease like he did around her.

The floor creaked behind Naruto's back. He looked into the general direction of the noise and saw Gaara's feet near the doorframe. No doubt the jade eyes would be looking at him. Quickly, Naruto turned away.

"Hey, guess what Gaara, we're having a guest over here tomorrow," the older of the brothers suddenly announced with an excited tone.

As expected, the redhead didn't communicate his thoughts in any visible way.

Kankuro's enthusiasm and Gaara's lack of it amused Naruto. It occurred to him then that maybe the brunette wanted to have some other company here for a change than just the three of them. Neither the blond nor the redhead was very talkative but rather withdrawn. And with that thought, Naruto accepted the idea that maybe he and Gaara indeed had something in common.

* * *

The next day, Naruto fidgeted under his skin. He wished his nervousness wasn't detectable to anybody else. He had imagined he and Sakura would spend the evening in his room but ever since Kankuro had heard about her coming in here, plans of a movie night had been suddenly brought into discussion.

And now his pink haired friend was standing in the small hallway.

"Welcome, Sakura," Naruto said, feeling a bit uncomfortable at acting like a host. This was his home, yes, but not his house.

"It's nice to meet you all," she replied and her smile widened.

If she felt any discomfort at being in the center of attention, she didn't show it in any way. Feeling like he should still offer her a way out of the spotlight, Naruto spoke.

"These guys are my landlords, Kankuro and Gaara." The brunette waved his hand in the air with a widening smile. The redhead barely nodded.

Before Naruto could offer Sakura the option to make an escape into his room, the brunette started to speak.

"If you want to, you can watch a movie with us. We have snacks and soda, too."

"Oh, I'd love to," Sakura was delighted and walked past Naruto into the kitchen. Her eyes were already on the numerous snacks Kankuro had made for them. Subtly, the brunette was now standing next to her, smiling at her and explaining something about the little finger food that was put on a plate.

And that left Naruto and Gaara standing awkwardly by the doorway, witnessing the interaction between the two. Under the surface, Naruto fumed. She was his friend, and he had wanted to be with her. Now it seemed like she didn't even notice him anymore.

"Now I can see why you wouldn't cancel your plans that one weekend. Your landlords are very nice," Sakura said as she turned to Naruto. He could see her words pleased the brunette.

"Oh yeah," Naruto said, remembering the weekend he had been unable to attend to a trip to the cottage. "Me and Gaara went to a botanical exhibition back then," he continued, nodding his head into the redhead's direction.

Sakura looked at Gaara, her kind and polite expression never changing. Then, her attention was back on Naruto. "I'm sure you had fun."

"We did," Naruto smiled slightly nervously.

"Let's get these to the coffee table," Kankuro said, collecting some bowls from the kitchen counter.

After no time, the small coffee table was filled with plenty of snacks one more delicious than the other. Kankuro had really outdone himself, Naruto thought, and quickly stole a spot next to Sakura on the couch. Damn if he wouldn't be allowed to sit next to her!

Kankuro sat on her other side, politely handing her a bowl of chips and a glass of soda. Naruto was just about to reach something for himself, too, when Gaara sat down on his other side and offered him a bowl of popcorns.

"Thanks," Naruto whispered.

Gaara was practically squeezed against him, and as Naruto was about to point out the fact, he realized that the redhead was already pressed against the armrest on the other end. Trying to get over his discomfort, he directed his thoughts to Sakura. Her perfume wafted into his nose and he once again wondered why she of all people had wanted to keep someone like him around for this long.

"So you're Naruto's co-worker," Kankuro asked, trying to appear casual even though his dark eyes were intently on her.

Before she could answer, Naruto cut in. "We've been friends long before that. It's only recently we've started working together, too."

"I see," Kankuro replied, his eyes never leaving her.

Sakura gave Naruto a quick, sisterly smile, before returning her attention the _nice landlord_ , as she had put it earlier. "My aunt owns the store. I've been working there for a long time now. Naruto is one of our best employees."

That was not true and she knew it. Naruto almost rolled his eyes. He knew she had said it because she was his friend, and friends were sometimes unreasonably nice to each other.

The movie lasted an hour and a half. It was a comedy film with countless clichés plotwise. Nevertheless, it succeeded in drawing outbursts of laughter from the three of them. Gaara was the only one who didn't laugh on the outside. The only, painfully stereotypical gay character in the movie had an unnecessary amount of ridiculousness and implausibility in him.

As a teenager, Naruto had found the rigid roles that movies widely portrayed funny, but now as an adult such stereotypes annoyed him. When another, clichéd scene with the gay character came on, Sakura and Kankuro laughed in unison. Naruto spared a glance at Gaara and rolled his eyes at him. Afterwards, he had no idea why he had done it.

However, Gaara only stared back at him, not offering any gesture in return that would unite them against Sakura and Kankuro, the immature, giggling duo. When Naruto returned his attention back to the screen, he felt Gaara's stare on him for a much longer period than what he was comfortable with.

When the movie was finally over, the bowls and plates were all empty. By now, Naruto had gotten used to the redhead's close proximity and Sakura's attention on the brunette didn't feel so threatening, anymore.

"I'm afraid I have to get going," Sakura sighed, looking apologetically at Naruto. "It sure has been fun. Thank you guys for such a nice evening." She smiled, but her smile was mostly directed at the brunette.

"You're welcome here anytime," Kankuro replied, and to Naruto his politeness sounded a bit over-exaggerated. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes again.

After Sakura had left, the three of them began to tidy up the living room.

"Gaara, Naruto, would you mind doing the dishes? I made the snacks, after all," Kankuro suggested.

Neither of them replied, and for some reason their unresponsiveness seemed to amuse the brunette. Ignoring him, Naruto turned to the redhead. "Do you want to wash the dishes? I can dry them."

Gaara nodded. He was about to take off his wristbands, when his movements suddenly froze with no apparent reason. Then, after a minute glitch, he looked at him like nothing had happened. "I'd prefer to dry them."

Naruto shrugged, and pulled up his sleeves. From his peripheral vision, he saw Gaara's bracelet-covered wrists and his pale hands, already holding the towel. What he had seen earlier in the corridor came back to him. That reddish thing on his skin had been odd. Or maybe it had been just a shadow cast funnily due to the corridor's scarce lighting?

When Naruto noticed he had been washing the plate for a full minute, he quickly rinsed it and draped it to Gaara. Their silent co-operation calmed Naruto, but the lack of conversation also unnerved him. He had made a promise to act like a normal person. What would one say in a situation like this?

"Is it just me or was your brother trying to hit on Sakura?" Naruto asked, trying to find something to talk about.

"They seemed to get along pretty well," was all Gaara replied.

"She's a nice person. But she already has a boyfriend," Naruto pointed out, not sure why he had brought that up. "Have you ever had a girlfriend, Gaara?"

"No."

"How about a boyfriend?" Naruto asked casually, not sure if he would pass as a normal person with his topics of conversation.

No answer came and after some seconds, Naruto spared a glance at the redhead. The jade eyes were on him, unreadable and searching. Quickly, Naruto returned his attention to the soapy water.

"Well, I've had a few relationships myself. But they never lasted very long." And half the time, he had been infatuated with his pink haired friend. But he couldn't really blame that for the misfortune in his relationships. "Your brother is a real charmer, you know. It's no wonder if she noticed him."

"Naruto," the redhead said quietly and calmly, and the blond spared a glance at him. "Give me that bowl. You've washed it for two minutes."

A little embarrassed, the blond rinsed the thing and then handed it over to Gaara. "Sorry. I guess I just have a lot on my mind right now."

The patient redhead looked at him knowingly. "Maybe you think too much."

"That's not what the teachers said when I was still at school," Naruto laughed but his humor received no response. For a moment he stopped washing the utensils and stared at some far-away point as if reminiscing something. "They always told me to concentrate, or then it was the other way around. I could get way too immersed in something and forget about the world around."

"I can see that," Gaara replied. He changed his weight from leg to another, slightly leaning towards Naruto. As if only then realizing something, the blond handed him the spotlessly clean utensils.

They worked together for some quiet minutes. Naruto hummed some unknown melody, every now and then stopping completely like some pressing thought had just taken over him. As if reading his thoughts, the redhead suddenly spoke. "Forget her for a while. And nevermind my brother. He's boring."

"He's not," Naruto said and wondered why he had the need to defend the brunette.

"He's like everybody and that's boring. You're not."

"And you're not very good with compliments," Naruto huffed. "I wish I was like your brother. Maybe then she or someone else would actually notice me."

To that, his companion didn't reply anything but just kept on drying the clean plates and bowls.

* * *

As always, the hours spent at work had been uneventful and grey. The only spark in the middle of the numbing boredom had been Sakura and her sneaky way of finding entertainment during the quietest of moments. Whenever the two of them were alone, he would get the lion's share of her attention. When no one else was around, Naruto was suddenly the most interesting person on Earth. He liked it. And whenever his mind began circling around the notion that it was not alright, he quickly tossed the idea away.

Happiness was more important that being right, wasn't it?

Unlike usually, Naruto was making his way back home by foot just to enjoy the beautiful summery weather. Boss Tsunade had been a real angel and let him leave an hour and a half earlier before his shift would've ended. Thanks to the lack of customers today there had been no need for him any longer. On a vivid blue sky only a cloud or two sailed in a slow fashion.

On a day like this, nothing could go wrong.

"Hi," Naruto greeted quietly as he arrived at the kitchen and saw Kankuro reading the newspaper. A tiny, half-full cup of coffee lay on the table.

The brunette averted his gaze from the article. "Did you have a good day at work?"

"Mm-hmm," the blond mumbled. It wasn't even a real word. Chitchat with Kankuro made him nervous, and to be honest he wasn't too keen on having these nonsensical conversations with him. He was already about to make his way out of the room when Kankuro's words stopped him.

"Naruto," he said and captured the blond's attention. "Gaara has been in a better mood lately. I think it's because of you."

"What? No, that can't be," Naruto said shyly and stared at the tips of his socks. He hadn't noticed that kind of change in the redhead, not with the way Gaara always kept that closed expression on his face. If that was the happier version of the guy, what was he at his worst?

"Believe me, you've had an effect on him. I'm sure," Kankuro muttered and went back to his paper. But judging by the way his black eyes were fixated on one spot, he was certainly not reading. So, was this conversation still on and was the man waiting for him to reply?

Naruto wasn't sure what to say. "Well… what has he been like before?"

"Different."

Like that was supposed to enlighten him. Out of words, he turned around and was about to leave again. However, his attempt to depart was once again hindered thanks to the talkative brunette.

"About Sakura―"

"Is Gaara home?" Naruto interrupted the man.

Kankuro looked at him politely, yet the way his brows slightly furrowed didn't go unnoticed by Naruto. "He's on the lake. He said he'd go fishing."

With a nod as a thank you, the blond hurriedly he left the room and tried to smother the thought that he had just appeared as impolite to his landlord. As quickly as possible he put on his sneakers again and escaped outside into the sunshine.

A picture of a homemade meal with vegetables and fish was already plastered on Naruto's mind as he made his way to the lake. Under his shirt, his hungry stomach growled and demanded fulfillment for the delicious food fantasies. A narrow grit road took him through fields and greenery and once again he wondered why there was basically no settlement around here.

What had Kankuro meant by Gaara being happier? He found it hard to believe. And if it was true, it certainly wasn't because of him. Naruto wasn't a person to have that kind of effect on other people. What he was good at was making others uncomfortable with his awkward style of not participating in conversations they tried to engage him into.

Through the trees and bushes he could already see a little boat in the horizon. Who else was there but the ever-unimpressed redhead, patiently trying to lure fish into the hook? Naruto smiled and almost tripped on his own feet. As he stumbled along the pathway on all fours, he made a mental note to pay more attention to his surroundings.

When Naruto gazed at the lake again, the boat and the fisherman were suddenly gone. He blinked and almost stopped, as if not believing his eyes. Wait… was there a boat upside down? And that struggling figure next to it had to be―

"Gaara!" Naruto screamed and ran to the shore. Without a second thought he sprinted into the water.

The more the redhead's struggle was slowing down, the more furiously Naruto swam towards him.

"Hold on, I'm coming!" the blond yelled and spit water out of his mouth. He got no answer, but the splattering noise dying down told him he needed to get there, and quickly.

"Gaara―" he yelled again as he reached the upturned boat and saw the silent redhead with his face now the only thing above the surface.

Quickly, Naruto swam behind him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. When he was sure he had a tight hold on Gaara, he began to tow him towards the shore. The redhead started to struggle again but the blond kept his hold with determination.

After what felt like an eternity to Naruto, the soft sand on the bottom of the lake finally hit his heels. Carefully he dragged the still silent redhead out of the water, his limp feet leaving two trails on the wet sand. A couple of yards further, he laid Gaara down on the soft, dry grass. The guy was breathing, thank goodness, and as he inspected him it seemed nothing was blocking his airways.

"Nnh…" the redhead mumbled and blinked his eyes.

"You're safe now," Naruto whispered gently, more to himself than the redhead. He was holding two fingers on Gaara's neck just to check the rate of his pulse and when their eyes met he smiled at him. Most likely it was not the most appropriate gesture at the moment, but it was effective enough to make him forget about his own panic and shock. Right now, he needed to stay cool-headed and there was certainly no room for any personal drama.

"N-Naru…" the redhead tried again as consciousness slowly returned to him.

"Are you hurt?" the blond asked, just to be sure.

"No." The guy's movements were feeble and restrained. Every now and then, he closed his eyes for two seconds or more.

Naruto swept a few locks of wet red hair away from Gaara's forehead. Lying on the ground like that, his eyes half-closed and skin gaunter than ever, he almost looked like a ghost. The blooming hays and the tiny flowers fighting their way up through grit and sand, and the grasshoppers chirping frenetically somewhere out of sight, were a surreal contrast to the pale-bluish figure breathing languidly. The idea of Gaara being just one of the lifeless, large stones that had somehow ended up on the shore was sadly not too far-fetched.

Not sure how to communicate his concern and care, he stroked the guy's hair calmly. As a child, this gesture had comforted him greatly and maybe now the shocked redhead would feel the same. He was alive and would soon be himself again, right? And was there a pinkish hue taking over his skin already?

Gaara struggled to sit up. Like a shadow Naruto was right there to support him and allowed the guy to lean against him. Somewhere in the horizon, the upturned boat was floating barely visibly above the surface. The fishing rod had to be on the bottom of the lake by now and no fish would be made for dinner tonight. And not giving the slightest concern for the frightened rhythm of their hearts, the grasshoppers kept on unashamedly chirping in the background.

Like an instinct, Naruto rubbed the redhead's back and shoulders. It was only because he wanted to comfort the shocked guy and maybe to get him warmer. Wet clothes clinging to the skin made him freeze and he assumed Gaara felt the same.

"How do you feel?" he asked quietly.

Aquamarine eyes met his worried blue ones with a peaceful yet tired look. "I'm fine."

For an answer, Naruto smiled feebly. He expected the redhead to avert his gaze, but instead the jade eyes kept on staring at him.

"I didn't expect you to come here."

"Me neither, but boy am I glad I did," Naruto replied and patted the guy's shoulder empathetically. "My boss let me leave earlier today because it was so quiet. On recent weeks the whole store has felt like a ghost town, believe it. And let me tell you, the whole thing is a dying branch and―"

"Naruto."

"Sorry," the blond whispered sheepishly. "I got carried away. Your brother said you'd be here and I thought I could help you to carry the fish back home or something."

"Well, it looks like we have to go back empty-handed," Gaara said wryly and looked at the lake.

Naruto offered him a sad little nod. He wanted to hug him, just to make sure he was real and this was not some self-made fantasy his mind had produced in order to protect him. Gaara was alive, and just beneath his hands he could feel his body shiver.

"Let's go back home." With gentleness and patience Naruto helped the redhead stand up. As he noticed the wobbliness in Gaara's steps, he took his arm and supported him as they slowly made their way through the wilderness.

Naruto was honestly surprised how well he could keep himself in check and not lapse into panic. It was his well-learned way of dealing with things like these, after all. Whenever he averted his attention from the redhead, his mind quickly went to inspect his own mood and the tension that drummed just beneath the surface.

In order to distract himself from further self-examination, he decided to open a conversation and ask the question that had been hanging in his mind for some time already. "What happened? At first I saw you sitting on the boat, and the next thing I knew you were drowning."

"I fell," Gaara said.

"You fell off the boat?"

"Yes."

"How?" Naruto asked.

"It just happened," Gaara replied with his voice monotonous as ever.

Naruto pondered the answer for a moment. Warm summery breeze hurried through them before disappearing into the greenery ahead, rustling countless of leaves along the way. In a way, it was windy today. Maybe an unexpected gust had been all that was needed to catch Gaara by surprise and upturn the boat?

"I didn't know you couldn't swim."

"Swimming is not something you learn in the desert," Gaara replied.

"That must be true," the blond agreed. "Next time, I'll go with you. And we'll get lifejackets."

As they walked through the well-kept garden, Naruto couldn't help but admire once again the gorgeous flowers. Their scent was intoxicating and sweet, incomparable to anything else. For a long time he had been sure these kinds of beauties only existed in fairytales but living here had proved him wrong. To be able to create such profusion of colors and scents was an exceptional gift.

At the porch, Gaara took out the keys from his pocket. Just a tiny, barely audible click of the lock and the task was done. How could he do it so quietly? And the way he opened the door just as inconspicuously could be work of a ghost as well.

Stealth in his steps, Gaara was heading towards the stairs that would lead into their rooms upstairs, Naruto tailing just behind him, when Kankuro's confused voice stopped them in their tracks.

"What happened to you guys?" And now the brunette was staring at their wet, dripping clothes that had sand and grass and mud all over.

Naruto didn't know what to say but he noticed the way Gaara leaned closer to him ever so slightly. Not completely sure if it was an appropriate thing to do, he took hold of his hand. Against his own skin, Gaara's was so very cold.

"Well?" Kankuro asked again, changing his weight from leg to another. Judging by the nervous and seemingly subconscious way he flexed and curled his fingers in a slow rhythm, he had to be at least partly anxious.

"He fell off the boat," the blond said. Kankuro's eyes widened and just for a moment all movement ceased altogether.

"He _what_?" the brunette asked with voice a notch louder than before. "The hell, Gaara? Haven't I told you enough times to be careful out there, huh?" the older of the brothers rambled with what seemed like a rising panic. "Thank goodness you had your lifejacket on, did you? Don't tell me you didn't have it, did you Gaara?"

Naruto squeezed the redhead's hand with an uneasy half-smile plastered on his face. It was an automatic response to people behaving strangely around him. Smile, and everybody will calm down. He had never seen the brunette like this and something in the man's boiling worry was untying the knots that kept up his own cool-headed façade. A stark contrast to Kankuro's fussing was Gaara's total lack of any readable emotion.

"What lifejacket?" the blond asked innocently as the silent redhead gave no answer to the brunette's question.

Kankuro's widened eyes darted to Naruto and evaluated the blond for a moment, until he returned his attention to Gaara again. To Naruto, it felt like the sudden silence between the three of them lasted for a lifetime. Even time had stopped in the crossfire of loaded looks. Naruto noticed the way Kankuro's eyes narrowed the longer he looked at his younger brother.

Like a lonely satellite strayed from its orbit, he felt out of place. He was a stranger in this moment, in this house. And he wanted to ask for an explanation to the sudden tension in the air but he didn't dare to interrupt their wordless communication. Gaara was like a wet statue as he kept on staring impassively at his older brother. His posture was relentless yet his face gave nothing away, at least not to Naruto.

"Why?" Kankuro asked accusingly. He had not torn his gaze away from Gaara, who once again gave no verbal reply. "Why?" the brunette repeated, and this time a string of desperation escaped into his tone. When none of this earned him a reply of any kind, he grabbed the redhead's shoulders.

"Hey," Naruto interrupted and got the attention of them both. "It was just an accident. Why would he do something like that on purpose? Come on, it was windy out there," he said and looked at the brunette like he was crazy. Out of anyone's sight, the redhead squeezed his hand.

Kankuro stared at Naruto for a long time, as if contemplating his trustworthiness. Bravely, Naruto held the gaze and didn't avert his eyes like usually. The brunette must've noticed his uneasiness when he suddenly snapped out of it and released his brother's shoulders.

"Look, be that as it may… But from now on, you won't go boating anymore unless you're with Naruto or me, okay?" Kankuro said and looked at Gaara the way only older siblings know how to.

"Okay," Gaara said and lowered his face.

"Alright," Kankuro said and attempted to smile a little. He patted the redhead's upper arm encouragingly and then ruffled his still wet hair. "I'm sure the sauna is ready by now. I thought I'd go there first but seeing how things have changed, I think you should do it. I don't want you guys to catch cold or anything."

"Thanks," Naruto replied for the both of them and began leading the way to the basement floor. He felt Kankuro's studying gaze on them long after they had vanished from his actual sight.

Normal people were unreasonably frustrating from time to time because they, like Kankuro for example, were hard to read and Naruto always had a feeling that something wordless was constantly communicated – something he had no interpretation for. And sometimes it really felt like he didn't know their language or manners and it made him feel like a foreigner in his own country.

Was there even a name for people like him, he wondered. Or was he just an alien in disguise, a half-robot, half-spirit mistaken for a human being?

A big part of him was constantly living in its own world, in memories and imagination. Only when someone else demanded his attention, he would plant himself back to reality. But even then, some invisible part of his mind was keeping open the door to his rich inner world.

"Hey." Gaara was looking at him expectantly as they enjoyed the humid heat on the top benches of the sauna.

"Hey to yourself," Naruto said and looked at the redhead questioningly. People were strange indeed, case closed.

"You have no idea what I've been talking to you, do you?" the redhead asked. Was there a slight irritation in his voice?

With interest, the blond turned to him. "Were you talking? Sorry, could you repeat it."

The deep huff that followed could as well be the redhead next to him or the sauna stove in the corner. Most likely it was the latter, Naruto concluded.

"I said thank you." The redhead stressed each word with almost forced patience.

Naruto smiled at him, his automatic reaction whenever he didn't fully comprehend what was going on. As the aquamarine eyes kept on staring at him, waiting, the dots finally connected in his mind and a bright bulb lighted above his head.

"You're welcome. I'd do it anytime again without hesitation," Naruto replied. With his best skills he had tried to smother the topic inside his head. Gaara had almost drowned. He was not sure how he could deal with it, and he sure as hell didn't want to think how he'd cope if the worst case scenario had actually happened. Even though the guy was only his landlord and they weren't friends or anything, he still felt a faint connection between them.

"Imagine what would've happened if hadn't come there." Even though, Naruto didn't really want to think about it. He forced his voice to stay steady. "It makes me wonder if we're here for a reason, after all. Who knows, heh. Maybe it was meant for me to come there."

The redhead fell suddenly quiet. Gaara was straightening the hem of his towel he had wrapped around his waist. Just to mask his own insecurity, Naruto mimicked his actions and fiddled the orange, soft textile that was tied around him.

"I think your brother was kind of rude to even think you'd done it on purpose," he said after awhile.

"Don't care about him. He's overly protective," Gaara only replied.

"I thought so, too," Naruto said and grinner feebly. "And besides, you have too much left to accomplish to give up at this point. Your brother doesn't know you at all if he thinks otherwise."

Gaara barely nodded but it was not the lack of response that captured Naruto's attention. It was the hollow look in the jade eyes, one he didn't remember seeing before. If those were the windows to his soul, his soul had to be an empty, bottomless place. Naruto shook his head at his silly thoughts. He was way too imaginative once again.

"Hey Gaara," Naruto started in a friendly manner. The atmosphere was getting heavy and he didn't like it. "If you can't find jobs through gardening, you could use your skills for something else. How about you started growing something edible, like vegetables?" A quick glance into the pale green eyes told him the guy was listening.

"I think we should grow avocados or peanuts. They're really popular right now," Naruto suggested "Or maybe we should do something completely different, something that no one's done before, and become trend-setters!"

There was a small smile-like expression on Gaara's face. "We?"

"Yeah, I could help you if you want. Believe me, anything is possible if you put your heart into it," Naruto defended his point of view. "Hell, if you can grow broccolis like you grow flowers, then we'd have the best products in town. Do they have annual festivals here where we could compete against other farmers?"

"Stop." It was an order no matter how amusedly it was said. "You're giving me a headache."

Naruto laughed playfully and let the topic be for now. If only there could always be such a carefree expression on the redhead's face. The sight of Gaara at the mercy of water would never leave his memory for good, and his pale-bluish skin would surely haunt him in his nightmares for the next few weeks. If he hadn't happened to be there on the right time, his redheaded landlord would've sunk under the surface like a dead stone.

He closed his eyes just to escape the image. A hand touched his, at first cautiously but then more confidently. Naruto opened his eyes and looked at their joined hands that lay on the bench between them. The jade orbs had to be studying him at the moment but he never checked if his assumptions were right. The only thing he could concentrate on was the unexpected contact that warmed up his skin.

And right then, he felt like every fiber and atom in his system was suddenly alive and whirring. It was like a large orchestra with all instruments imaginable, and they all played their own special tune. It was hard to understand those cacophonic signals and to quiet them all down was downright impossible.

He had a distant feeling that Gaara had said something again but the noise in his head had completely blocked him out, again. He wanted to ask what it was but he was muted by the feel of his hand on top of his. Maybe he was only now realizing how dangerous a situation they had faced earlier, and this had to be the aftershock of it all.

But whatever the reason was behind this screaming mess that had completely taken over his thoughts, Naruto was thankful that Gaara let him stay in his own little bubble. Most people tried to drag him into reality whenever he was withdrawn for reason or another. It was exhausting and only fueled his constant experience of otherness. But with Gaara, he felt like he was allowed to be himself.

And because of that, he would jump into a thousand lakes any time if need be.

* * *

"You owe me five dollars, Naruto," Sakura said as she eyed the blond and his redheaded landlord sitting across from her.

Naruto shot him a warning glare. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I can refresh your memory about that bet," she said sweetly and sipped her hot drink. The way she kept on studying the redhead added to the all too familiar devious glint in her eyes was a combination Naruto didn't appreciate at all.

"No need to, thanks," Naruto rejected her offer and glanced around in hopes on finding something to direct their attention into.

"What bet?" It was Gaara, suddenly taking part in their conversation. Her polite smile only widened and she lowered her drink to the table.

"We had a bet whether or not you two would end up as friends. I said yes, he said no," Sakura explained and pointed her finger at the blond.

"Sakura!" Naruto said through gritted teeth and kicked her under the table. There was no need to spill out the details of their personal little game.

To his surprise, Gaara pulled a five dollar bill out of his pocket and put in on the table in front of her. She was equally surprised judging by the way her brows shot up. This had to be the most eccentric declaration of friendship either of them had ever seen.

"Sorry," Naruto whispered to Gaara. "You don't have to do that."

"She was correct, so the payment is in order," was all the redhead said.

Naruto shrugged and went back to his drink. Green tea wasn't his favorite, but the amount of coffee he'd consumed lately was starting to worry him. It had been her idea to meet at this cozy café at the mall. Later on he could not recall what had sparked him to invite Gaara along, but he had done so nevertheless. Back then, he had been sure the unsocial redhead would've turned the offer down but against all odds he had decided to come along.

They had never hung out together, the three of them. But there was a first for everything, right? Naruto had imagined he would've sat next to her, but as soon as he had tried to claim the chair on her left, she had put her bag onto it, thus forcing Naruto and Gaara sit next to each other – an option he wasn't too comfortable with.

Ever since the boating accident he and Gaara had spent more time together. He hadn't really thought about it until now, but it always seemed they bumped into each other at kitchen or in the living room, or in the garden when Naruto decided to do his daily stroll. He hadn't dared to picture them as friends yet, for he had done that mistake enough times already to not get his hopes up. And to be honest he hadn't interpreted the guy's decision to seek out his company as anything special, not as friendship anyway. It seemed he had been wrong, though, and he wasn't quite sure what to do with it.

"Oh, hey look who's there," Sakura interrupted his thoughts as she perked up in her seat and glanced into the distance.

Naruto followed her gaze and almost choked on his drink. Those fangs and messy brown hair he could recognize from anywhere.

"Hey Kiba, over here!" she yelled. Under her breath, she apologized to the blond. "Sorry, I know he's an ass but he's a friend of Sasuke. I have to stay in good terms with him."

"Sakura…" Naruto whispered and prayed that the obnoxious guy wouldn't notice them.

But it seemed he was out of luck, as the hunk spotted her waving hand and started making his way towards their table.

"Hello Sakura, nice to see you," Kiba greeted her warmly. Then his eyes hit the blond slumping in his chair. "So you're still friends with Loony."

"Don't call him that," she said politely.

Kiba disregarded her request and turned to Naruto. "So, long time no see, eh? Here you are, unflattering as ever, still favoring that hideous color I see," he said and eyed the orange shirt that was Naruto's favorite.

"Shut up, Kiba," Naruto shot back but couldn't straighten out from his slumped position.

"Naruto's right," she suddenly took his side and smiled at him sisterly. Then, she turned to the brunette again. "You really don't have the right to talk to him like that after what happened. It was you who messed things up, Kiba."

"It's rather the other way around, actually," Kiba corrected her with a smug look on his face. He looked at the blond with disdain. "I was a goddamned fool."

"Well I wasn't in my right mind, either," Naruto snapped back and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"When would you be, Loony?" Kiba sneered and grinned so that his canines showed.

"Stop calling me that, jerk," the blond snapped. He gritted his teeth and straightened up his posture.

Kiba only let out a small laugh, not the least bit impressed by his words. His dark brown eyes shifted to Gaara, who was silently observing the conversation. "I didn't know you were into musicians."

"He's not a musician and this is not what it looks like," Naruto quipped angrily.

Kiba ignored his comment altogether and instead leaned closer to Gaara. "Watch out for Loony. He can be sunshine in one moment and a complete nutbag in the next."

"That's not true and you know it," the blond said sternly before the redhead had any chance to reply.

"Kiba," Sakura interrupted them and gently patted the brunette on the arm. "Do you want me to tell Sasuke that you said hi?"

Slowly, the brunette tore his gaze away from the redhead and looked at her again. "Thanks. Tell him that I'll come over on the weekend."

"Alright," she said kindly and waved her hand for goodbye as Kiba finally understood to leave their company.

Even after the guy was gone, Naruto felt agitated. Like it wasn't bad enough to run into him like this, he hated that Gaara had been there to witness it.

"He's an even bigger asshole than Sasuke," Naruto huffed and sipped his tea.

Sakura snorted and gave him a studying look. "Now now, Naruto. You lived with Kiba so there has to be something good in him, too."

"I was his tenant, alright?" Naruto corrected and squirmed uneasily in his chair. Suddenly, the contents of his cup were the most interesting thing in the world.

"Well you didn't pay rent with money, that's for sure."

"Sakura!" And by now, Naruto was red like a lobster. Why was she spilling out these things in front of Gaara like that?

"What?" she asked innocently. "Why are you trying to sugarcoat things?"

"I-I'm not," the blond stuttered. By now, his blood pressure had to be sky high.

The sound of a chair scraping against the floor alerted him. Gaara was getting up and excused himself. When Naruto saw him head towards the men's room, his heart rate calmed down a bit. To meet her green eyes after that was a big mistake.

"What." Naruto huffed. That devious glint in her eyes was downright annoying.

"Oh, it's nothing," she chirped and smiled a fake smile. She was infuriating at times, yet he loved her mischievous side whenever the target was someone else than him.

"Spill it out," Naruto demanded.

"He's into you," Sakura said and hid her smile behind her cup.

"Who, Gaara? The hell he is," the blond said dismissively while glancing around. The redhead was nowhere to be seen. Naruto leaned over the table, closer to Sakura. "Stop it."

"Just saying," she replied and shrugged.

But he had none of it. "You're just messing up with me, aren't you? Well it's not going to work this time. Honestly I didn't even know we were friends, so why would there be anything deeper going on there, huh?"

"You having no clue wouldn't be the first time," Sakura replied and before the blond could cut in, she continued. "But who knows, maybe I'm wrong about this."

"You're wrong as hell," Naruto said with annoyance. When Gaara returned to his seat, Sakura's gaze went from the blond to the redhead, and then back to the blond again. That maddening glint was there in her eyes again and for a reply Naruto rolled his eyes. For once it seemed he was not the crazy one in the crowd.

"Well, I have to get going. It was nice meeting you guys," she said and took her bag from the chair next to her. It was her style to always change pleasantries whenever leaving a company, a habit Naruto wasn't sure he thoroughly understood.

"Remember what I said, Naruto," Sakura whispered as she walked past him.

"Bye, Sakura," he only called after her and he was sure the woman rolled her eyes at him behind his back.

Now that they were alone, Naruto turned to Gaara. "Sorry about the awkwardness. I had no idea it would be like this."

"No need to apologize," the redhead replied.

They were about to leave, when the sight of Kiba hurrying past the café caught Naruto's attention. Involuntarily he froze to the spot, feeling more vulnerable in his beloved orange shirt than ever before. In his mind he prayed the guy wouldn't notice them, for he was certain that without Sakura around, the conversation would quickly turn even uglier.

He kept on inhaling but even so he felt out of breath. More air, please – where had all the oxygen in this world gone to? His lungs were full and he felt dizzy, and there was something strangling his throat that prevented him from exhaling. Before he collapsed, Gaara had taken his arm and was leading them to the restroom. It was really just a little room with one toilet seat, a sink and a cracked mirror. Gaara locked the door behind them.

On the inside, Naruto wailed. He hated public restrooms and judging by the stickiness on his shoe soles he would have to disinfect them later. He wanted to lean on something but god knew what germs the walls – not to mention the door – were covered with.

"Breathe," Gaara said and took hold of his arms. "He won't come here."

With difficulty, Naruto tried to do just that. And invisible fist was strangling his air pipes and was it the lack of breath that made his heart beat so wildly? More than anything he wanted to vanish but the determined grip on his arms anchored him to this exact spot. Even the piss on the floor couldn't distract his mind from the vile brunette and the unfortunate encounter he had endured only moments ago.

"Breathe, Naruto." Gaara's voice was a soft murmur. "Take it easy. You're safe."

Velvet. That's what his voice was. And Naruto couldn't ignore it even if he tried. Instead he concentrated on the words but soon he noticed he hadn't really paid attention to them – it had been the tone that had captured his whole brain capacity. He gaped at Gaara like a fish on dry land, and the expression on the redhead's face softened. There was no doubt he wouldn't look pathetic and the shame felt like a bucketful of rocks in his chest.

Before he had a chance to lean on the dirty tiles, Gaara pulled him into a hug. Gently, the guy stroked his back with slow, calm movements. Naruto closed his eyes and let the rocks disappear from his chest one by one. He tried to imagine feathers and clouds and fog, and soon enough the invisible hand holding his throat let go.

"Who was he?" Now the voice wasn't so velvety anymore. Naruto gulped and kept his eyes closed.

"A mistake. A person to be avoided. Or to put it shortly, an ex," the blond whispered. He didn't really broadcast his preferences to other people. The reason why he had tried to hide the fact that he had indeed had a relationship with the same sex, was because of his well-learned paranoia and fear of judgment.

Considering all the oddities that made him who he was, he was already strictly in the margin. Having a stronger preference for guys rather than girls was a thing that would send him out of that already narrow margin like a rocket. What was it even there after that – a tiny slice that would be the margin of another margin? It sounded like a lonely place.

"I understand," the redhead said quietly and kept on stroking his back. Naruto wasn't sure if the guy really meant that, or was it just a phrase people used when they had nothing else to say. Most likely it was the latter.

When Naruto's breathing had regained its normal rhythm and he wasn't feeling ill anymore, he leaned out of hug. He tried to concentrate on the suspicious bundle of toilet paper on the far corner of the restroom, but it didn't distract him enough from the evaluating stare he was receiving.

"Thanks," he finally said and turned to the door.

A line had formed behind the locked door. Ashamed, Naruto lowered his face and didn't flinch as Gaara took his hand and led them out of the place. What kind of a guy was having a mental breakdown on a men's restroom? He felt like a fool. Everyone else seemed to be so collected. Everyone except him.

Back in the car, Naruto stared through the windshield and clenched the wheel. His keys were still in his pocket, a detail he was yet to notice.

"I'm sorry," he spoke with a quiet voice. "You must think I'm a total moron. And maybe I am."

"You're not," Gaara assured. "Don't be too hard on yourself. It looked like you had a panic attack of some sort."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Naruto admitted embarrassedly. "I haven't had one in a while."

"So you've had those before?" the redhead asked monotonously.

At first, Naruto only shrugged. "Well… Kiba has that kind of effect on me to be honest." With sadness, he smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "And back when we were still together it was even worse."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Gaara emphasized in his own restrained way. "Did he act the same way back then, than today?"

"Uh, yes and no," Naruto replied and scratched his head briefly. He looked down at the lifeless meters on the darkened dashboard. Like it had been only yesterday, he still remembered everything so vividly. The large bathtub had become his favorite thing in the house back then, and the long baths behind a locked door had felt like a forbidden luxury. More than once he had lowered himself under the surface and wondered if it was worth going up again.

At first Kiba had been infatuated with his low self-esteem and deemed him only as a shy, blushing virgin. A thing he wasn't, but he hadn't corrected him at the time. When his shockingly low confidence had never gotten better despite the guy's relentless trying (gifts, constant praising and such), Kiba had suddenly turned mean and accusing.

Around those times, the brunette had demanded him to change who he was, or else. And of course, it had not ended well.

"These scars," he suddenly said, pointing at his cheeks. "I got these when we were together."

"Did he…?" Gaara asked, his voice a mix of worry and velvet as he leaned closer to the blond. Naruto shivered and leaned an inch away from the guy.

"No. I did."

"Why?" the redhead asked and studied the marks with interest.

"I don't really know. We had a fight. And I was _very_ drunk," Naruto shrugged and smiled goofily. The expression on Gaara's face darkened and he gently took hold of the blond's chin. With unnerving scrutiny he turned the blond's head from side to side, evaluating the old scars.

"They are almost symmetric. You have incredibly steady hands."

"Uh, yeah, I do," Naruto admitted and leaned away from his touch.

"Even when you're drunk," Gaara said.

"Especially when I'm drunk," the blond confirmed. As his hand fumbled the ignition switch he realized something was missing.

"My keys!"

"In your pocket," Gaara said without a second thought.

And indeed there they were, safely on the bottom of his jeans' pocket.

* * *

At first Naruto was sure he had lost his hearing, for the redhead reading a book at the foot of his bed made no sound at all. The guy had invited himself into his room once again, muttering that Naruto's room was much chillier than his, and thus more suitable for an important task as reading. Wordlessly, the blond had allowed him in and paid no attention to the redhead taking over the other end of his bed, no matter how snugly Naruto had settled down on it.

His accustomed solitude was once again interrupted, yet for some reason he had no heart to feel sorry about it.

It wasn't like he had enjoyed his own company mere moments ago, but quite the contrary.

On a day like this, Naruto couldn't remember ever being happy. The most he could do was lie on his bed and stare into the void. Every thought was a ripple on a pond, starting somewhere with a defined form only to melt away soon after. Every emotion of his circled around the theme of insignificance. Life was meaningless and would soon be over anyway.

At work, he could barely function. No matter the hours he kept on sleeping or just lying eyes closed, his body found no rest. Exhaustion was a giant tumor unfurling inside his forehead and this time, he believed he wouldn't make it. Usually this fatigue would subside after days or weeks of resilient torment. The joyful energy that eventually followed was always as shocking and unreal but for some reason Naruto never believed it would last like its dreaded counterpart.

Whenever energetic enthusiasm took him over, he couldn't remember ever being sad. Thoughts were organized as a library. But that library had too many tomes, Naruto would notice, as he ran along the corridors trying to catch every idea, every thought that demanded his immediate attention. In the end of the day, he would be exhausted and out of breath.

And whenever his caffeine consumption had been too high and nightly sleep rate depressingly low, his bubbling energy would channel itself through vivid experiences that got him thinking if anybody else ever felt that way.

Not too long ago at work he had been in serious need of a confidence boost, when the idea of Kankuro had emerged into his mind. The guy was an epitome of everything he looked up to. Sakura had been busy filing the papers at the counter next to him, deep in thought given the way she quietly hummed by herself.

A difficult, surely senile customer had given an earful to Naruto only moments before. The encounter had succeeded in stomping his already low self-esteem into the cracks between the floor boards. Suddenly Kankuro had been there, or rather his _skin_ , floating in the air towards him like a transparent cape. Like an embrace, it had covered him and dressed itself on Naruto. And for a short moment, he _was_ Kankuro.

Sakura hadn't looked at him any differently, yet Naruto was sure his posture was suddenly straighter and breath flowed more easily through his throat. After a while, the harness had vanished just as quickly as it had appeared.

But now, as he lay on bed in his restricted state, his thoughts were rocks that kept on growing heavier as they all sank to the bottom of the lake. Nothing moved, and when he tried to talk, he couldn't, for he was underwater. From under the surface, world looked surreal and rippled.

"I'm a… stone." The last of it was a barely audible sigh.

"Stoned? What? Are you on drugs?" The book slapped shut with a loud flap and now Gaara was looking at him worriedly.

"Stone," Naruto clarified. The concern on his friend's face didn't fade away. In the bottom of the river, he lay unmoving and stable. The world whirled by in a mess of color and sound.

"You wouldn't understand. You're a fish," Naruto explained. The crease between Gaara's nonexistent eyebrows deepened as he frowned. Gaara was a fish. He was fast and he had hope. But Naruto on the other hand… he knew that this time the shadows would grow longer than ever before. He would lose this battle against himself.

"Seriously, Naruto. Are you high or something?"

"No." But he wished he was, because if that was the case he would have a cure.

"What's wrong with you?" It was Gaara again, his worry not ceasing as minutes passed in the silent atmosphere. Earlier, he had settled Naruto's feet on his lap, explaining they had more room on the bed that way. Naruto had found the idea strange but wordlessly, he had allowed him to have his way. And now, when the redhead was calmly stroking his ankles, he was reminded of their bodily connection.

Naruto's jaw muscles were weak and uncooperative, yet he collected the strength to answer the redhead's question.

"This will end, don't worry."

"What will end?" Gaara asked for specification.

"Me."

Gaara raised a hairless brow at him. "Are you saying you're going to end?"

"Hopefully," Naruto sighed with the weight of the world on his shoulders. After all, his words were a logical continuum to his recent thoughts.

Gaara lifted the blond's feet off his lap and Naruto was sure the guy would make his leave. He knew he was being complicated and hard to read right now, and he would not blame the redhead if he chose to not have these conversations with him.

However, he soon found out he had been wrong.

Gaara lay down on his stomach, claiming the spot next to Naruto. The book lay now open on the pillow but the redhead's attention was somewhere else. The aquamarine eyes stared at him in quiet contemplation but for once, he couldn't care less about their uncomfortable intensity. Partly, Naruto was expecting him to say the words he had heard countless of times before. Unhelpful phrases he had learned to detest with passion.

 _Cheer up and relax._

 _Or go for a jog. Have some fun._

 _Remember to think on the bright side, 'cause it's all about the attitude!_

 _If nothing else works, just say no to it._

 _Cured yet? You know, there are real problems in the world, other than you getting upset over every little thing._

But instead of any of those, the words Naruto heard took him by surprise.

"What are fish good at?" Gaara asked.

"Swimming," Naruto replied without a second thought.

"And what else?"

"I don't know," the blond replied honestly and frowned.

"They are good at moving around small stones," Gaara said and earned a surprised snort from the blond. Before Naruto had the chance to point out how ridiculous that had sounded, the redhead tilted his head with a knowing look. Naruto snorted again. Yeah, he understood – like he was the one to complain about odd choices of phrasings.

"When we were kids, our sister Temari had a large aquarium. I was mesmerized by the numerous fish and sometimes spent long moments admiring their communication. On the bottom of the tank she had placed white pebbles and after a while I noticed some fish were actually moving them around," Gaara elaborated.

"Why?" Naruto asked.

"I guess they were digging around the gravel on the bottom, and in the process they managed to move the stones, too," the redhead explained. After a short moment of silence, he continued.

"So if I'm a fish as you say," and now he looked at Naruto half-amusedly, half-worriedly, "And you're a stone, then I'm sure I can nudge you into some other direction. And remember that stones are less heavier underwater than on the ground."

A feeble smile took over Naruto's face. The redhead got back to his book but didn't retreat to the foot of the bed as he had anticipated. Instead, the guy turned a page and spoke nothing at all.

If he were in his normal mindset, Naruto would've recoiled at their close proximity. This time, his numbed brain didn't care for the fact, and he let himself lay still and think nothing at all. Not sure if it was thanks to Gaara's ridiculous words or due to his own biological, inner cycles, he could feel his stone-like body slowly getting lighter.

And if he closed his eyes and examined closely, he was sure he could feel the swirling currents slowly lifting him up from the bottom of the lake.

* * *

A rainy Saturday morning forced them to stay inside. Gaara (unimpressed as ever) and Naruto (now in a remarkably lighter mood) were sitting at the kitchen table, eyes on their phones. The distant hum of a downpour was noise enough to fill the rather pleasant silence between them.

"Hey look, what about this?" Naruto asked and draped his phone towards his friend.

Gaara looked at the red potatoes on the screen. "Hmm. I don't know about that. Growing potatoes isn't as easy as you'd think."

"Then how about pumpkins? Or beets?" Naruto brainstormed as he scrolled down the page with his thumb.

"I don't know. And I'm not sure if cultivating vegetables would actually turn out profitable. It causes a lot of costs before the profit comes. Fertilizers are not cheap and there's always a chance that weather ruins the crops," Gaara pointed out.

Right then Kankuro walked into the room. "Hey guys, what are you doing?"

The brunette stood in front of them without a shirt, a pair of old sweatpants hanging loosely on his hips, as he dried his wet hair with a towel. Naruto stopped scrolling as his eyes involuntarily took in the sight of perfectly toned muscles and tanned skin. The older brother really was a charmer in every possible way.

"We were just talking," Gaara's monotonous voice broke the silence and brought Naruto out of his musings.

"About what?" Kankuro asked jovially.

"We are planning to grow vegetables," Naruto started, and forced his gaze from the brunette's abs to his face. The man looked at him kindly, but he was sure there was a smug glint somewhere in the dark eyes.

"And we were discussing here if you'd like to… to…." he continued in a weirdly official tone before he lost his confidence and couldn't look Kankuro in the eyes anymore. His gaze slithered down to the man's pecs, then again to the abs, until it stopped where his loins were and he stuttered aloud the only vegetable he could remember. "…I-If you'd like to sell cu-cucumbers."

Under the table, Gaara kicked him in the shin. Before Naruto could voice out his surprise, the redhead addressed his brother. "We can manage it by ourselves, so we don't really need your help."

"Are you sure?" Kankuro said kindly even though Naruto was sure the smugness never left his eyes. "I'd love to sell cucumbers with you, Naruto."

And by now Naruto was certain the brunette was making fun of him. He lowered his gaze in shame. Why had he acted like an idiot again?

"Thanks, Kankuro. But we don't need your participation. Now go put a shirt on," Gaara said dismissively to his brother.

While cheerfully humming, Kankuro gave an amused look at the two of them before vanishing into his own room. When the man was out of ear-shot, Naruto turned to Gaara.

"Why did you kick me?"

"I thought we agreed not to involve him into this," the redhead reminded.

"But he's good with people. Customers will buy more if the salesperson is good-looking," the blond pointed out. For some reason he was whispering.

Gaara only rolled his eyes at him.

"Look, I didn't mean that you – or we – wouldn't be good-looking, but your brother has a way with people, if you know what I mean," Naruto whispered again.

"Leave him out of this. I don't want him in this project," Gaara said sternly. "And before we can think of customers, we have to have something to sell first. And it takes time, planning, hard work and plenty of luck."

"You make it sound so difficult," Naruto huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Because it is. And don't pout at me," the redhead said, getting back to his phone.

Naruto purposely pouted some more, just to annoy the redhead. As the pale lips quivered a bit with something akin to smile, Naruto grinned and playfully kicked his friend under the table.


	3. Pseudofruit

**\+ + + Schizotypal + + +**

 **Disclaimer:** _I don't own 'Naruto' and I make no money from these writings._

 **A/N:** _Hey and thanks for the wonderful reviews, you guys are the best. You make my day. ^_^  
_

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Pseudofruit**

The innocent powder puff cactus sat content on the sill, seemingly unaware of the conversation taking place in the room.

"Well does it look like I've killed the plant?" Naruto asked a counter-question, looking tipsily at the redhead standing on his doorway. He lifted his tiny glass as if making a toast before taking a sip.

As the redhead sat down next to him on the floor, the blond tried his best to erase him from his vision. He wanted to be alone, truly alone right now. The last thing he wanted was someone fuelling his chronic anxiousness, and the quiet redhead next to him was an expert at that.

"Here," Naruto found himself saying as he draped a bottle of ouzo and a pitcher towards his unwanted guest. "Go get a glass for yourself. I don't have any extra. Maybe water it down too, you know?"

Gaara lifted the bottle to his lips and took a gulp straight out of it. The expression on his face didn't change even for a second.

"Seems like this is not your first time," the blond laughed, his earlier annoyance slowly fading away. Why did that happen so easily around the weird redhead? His solitude had been interrupted and he had the right to remain angry. Yet when he looked at the guy who was holding the bottle and _staring_ at him like that again, he couldn't stay mad at him.

"Tonight, I'm going to forget myself for a while," Naruto announced, holding his glass high before drinking the last of it. Gaara replied by pouring more ouzo to him, and set in his ways, the blond watered it down.

"Why do you want to forget yourself?" Gaara suddenly asked, and just to escape those searching eyes Naruto lowered his head.

"Everyone does once in a while. Don't you?" he asked back.

"Yes."

"To that," Naruto smiled, toasting his glass against the bottle Gaara was still holding. Now that he was steadily getting more and more intoxicated, he didn't mind so much about having company. And the drunker he got, the more immune he was growing towards the anxiety he always felt around the redhead.

As the inevitable blurriness quietly slithered into every room of his brain, he let himself inspect the redhead a little more in detail than he would ever do when sober. Considering the way his face kept on holding that expressionless look, and the way his skin looked almost unnaturally smooth, he was really starting to believe there was _an actual mask_ on his face. If he had a penny, he would gladly give it away in order to know what the redhead was thinking behind that closed expression.

Gaara took another gulp from the bottle, and at that moment Naruto's attention was drawn to his mouth and to the tip of his tongue that quickly went over his lower lip after the sip. Was Gaara even real? For all he knew he could be a hallucination as well. How could anyone have such red, fiery hair, with eyes so darkly lined like his? By now, Naruto was sure he was officially reaching the sweet bliss of drunkenness and these recent thoughts were solely to blame on that state.

A memory of Sakura's words popped up into his mind. In her delusional state, she had gone as far as to allege that this Gaara here – the stone-faced statue – was _into him_. It was such a ridiculous idea and with a shake of his head, Naruto chased the conversation out of his head.

"Gaara…" he said after composing himself and inched closer with staggering movements. The target of his sudden curiosity didn't show any signs of discomfort or any other emotion, so he cautiously touched his cheek like he was handling an ancient, very expensive doll from the last century.

"Are you real?" he asked. "Are you actually real, Gaara?"

"I'm not a ghost," the redhead replied, lazily fiddling his wristbands. "Not yet at least."

"Haha," Naruto laughed, for he found it oddly funny. "You would make a good ghost with your snow white skin and all. Maybe you could haunt those jackasses we saw in the parking lot back then."

And then it happened. The corners of Gaara's lips curved up ever so slightly. Was that a smile?

Naruto grinned mischievously. "Together, we would make them piss their pants and scream like little girls!"

Before he knew it, he was patting Gaara on the shoulder like he was a brother he never had, a brother who had eyes so strangely frightening and captivating at the same time. And those jade depths were now looking at him, holding an almost undecipherable expression, and Naruto was _sure_ there was something new, something he'd never seen before, and when he squinted, the expression became clearer and―

"Oh, here you are guys. I was looking for you."

It was Kankuro, barging into the room from the door left ajar. Naruto straightened up immediately and inched away from Gaara. While putting a safe amount of space between them, he was trying to get focused on the moment at hand but not quite succeeding to chase away the increasing dizziness. With a raised glass, he smiled. "Would you like some ouzo?"

Kankuro's gaze seemed to fixate into one spot, and that was not Naruto. He felt immediate relief that for once those black, mysterious eyes were not seeing him but something else instead. He followed his gaze, trying to retrace what had caught the brunette's complete attention.

Gaara was staring back at his brother, holding the bottle on his lap. Without averting his eyes, he took a gulp, and then draped the bottle towards the brunette. Naruto couldn't quite read what was going on between them, but the weird communication seemed to vanish into thin air as Kankuro sat down next to them and took the bottle. Like his brother, he too took a gulp, not bothering to look for a glass.

Naruto winced with imaginary burning in his mouth as he watched them. But then those black eyes were on him again and he felt trapped to the spot.

"What are we celebrating?" Kankuro asked, smiling slightly.

"Um… It's Friday, and we want to get rid of ourselves for a while," Naruto explained.

"Is that so?" Kankuro only said. It looked like his earlier smile had died on his lips. The more Naruto stared at those lips, the higher the temperature rose in the room. It had to be the setting sun scorching this side of the house, right? Only when those lips started to speak was Naruto drawn away from his imagination.

"It was nice having Sakura here. You have a nice friend," the older of the brothers said.

Naruto's earlier goofy grin turned into an aloof expression, as his annoyance from weeks ago came rushing back to his drunken mind. "She has a boyfriend, you know. To me it looked like you were hitting on her."

"Is that how it looked like? I swear that was not the case," Kankuro replied calmly. He took a quick sip and then smiled softly at Naruto. "She's not into me. I think she likes _you_ , though."

"Hah – as if," Naruto huffed, trying to smile off the other's opinion. "She has never liked me like that."

"Oh," the brunette said in a surprised voice and then shrugged. "She's a fool."

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked.

Kankuro filled the blond's glass to the brim before replying. "You're a great guy, Naruto. Anyone would be into you."

"Yeah right," the blond laughed nervously and took a gulp out of his tiny glass. He felt warm inside and blamed the booze. To hear someone compliment him like this felt unbelievable. "I don't think anyone would be into me."

"You really think so?"

Was that a wink? Naruto blinked and looked at the brunette. To look somewhere else became suddenly a priority to him. He glanced at the window, at the desk under it, at Gaara leaning against it on the floor. And Gaara was staring at him like a hawk. Suddenly he felt hot again for reasons unknown. It had to be the ouzo.

"You're a catch, Naruto," Kankuro smiled, patting the blond on the knee as they sat cross-legged next to each other. Naruto automatically flinched, the ghost of a touch still haunting him. "Maybe you could give me her number?"

Something told Naruto he should not trust this man. When he felt Kankuro pat his leg again, this time his touch slower and lingering, the screaming doubt vanished and all he could think about was the pair of dark eyes boring into his soul. For once, someone was _noticing_ him. No matter that this all was just innocent flirt and nothing serious, the attention flattered him to the point he refused to listen to the rational side of his brain anymore.

Kankuro re-filled Naruto's glass and then slowly brought the bottle to his own lips. In that moment, all Naruto could concentrate on was the man's half-lidded stare, the memory of his allegedly seductive touch, and the brunette's slightly parted lips. To that sight, he wanted to say _yes_.

"Kank―" Naruto breathed and gulped the last syllable. Damn ouzo, already affecting his ability to talk.

Gaara grabbed the bottle from Kankuro's lips with a look so hard it could cut diamonds. "Did you have somewhere to go?"

"Huh?" Naruto was baffled at the sudden change of reserved stares between the two. In that wordless communication, he felt excluded. Within seconds, Kankuro stood up to leave.

"Don't stay up too late, guys. And maybe put a cork on that bottle sometime soon, alright?" were his final words before he left them by themselves.

Even minutes after the brunette's departure, the tension hung in the room. When their eyes finally met, the redhead's mood seemed to change. Like a robot, Naruto emptied his glass and let unfamiliar warmth fill his chest.

"What was that all about?" he asked tipsily as the recent communication refused to disappear from his thoughts.

"Naruto…" the redhead began, searching words from some far-away spot on the wall across. When he finally looked at him again, he almost had an apologetic look on his face. "Sorry about my brother. And you really don't need to give him the number."

"I―I wasn't going to!" the blond quipped, slightly blushing, and shook his head. It only increased his dizziness so he stopped.

"Of course you weren't," Gaara mumbled and patted him on the shoulder encouragingly.

He earned an honest smile from the blond, who inched closer until they both leaned against the desk side by side. "You're a strange person, Gaara."

Now it was the redhead's turn to look amused. "Then that makes two of us."

"To that," Naruto cheered and clanked his glass against the bottle. As he sipped he realized his glass was still empty, and it made him laugh quite uncontrollably. He knew the redhead had to be stifling his laughter, for the humor was certainly quivering right behind his lips. And when his companion rectified the void in his glass, he grinned widely and had a long gulp.

* * *

In the morning, a drumming headache brought Naruto out of his drunken sleep. A bright beam of sunlight hit him straight in the eye and it took him a good minute to realize he was lying on the floor of his room. His other arm felt numb and as his blurry mind started to inspect what had happened to it, he came face to face with the fact that certain redhead was sleeping soundly in his arms. Naruto had no idea how they'd ended up in a position like that. The last thing he remembered was Gaara driving away his brother.

Groggily, Naruto sat up and winced as a vicious throb shot through his abused brain. With one eye open, he glanced at the peaceful redhead. Why the guy's jeans were unzipped, he wondered briefly, before taking notion of his own state. His blue, baggy jeans were heaped haphazardly on top of his chair, and as he looked down he realized he had only his underwear on.

"Um…" Naruto began, not sure if it was shame or panic or something else he was feeling. He often took his jeans off when he was about to go to sleep, so maybe that had been the reason to his current state. And maybe the redhead was like that, too – they guy had surely started to undress himself but had succeeded in passing out before the task was finished. Right?

Speaking of the redhead, just then the guy let out a sleepy mumble. His pale arms were fumbling the space all over him, as if searching for something that was supposed to be there. But then it seemed that consciousness finally got the better of him and his hands shot to his head, holding it like it was a ticking timebomb.

"Fuck," Gaara cursed and squinted at the blond.

"Good morning to you too," Naruto laughed but instantly shut up as his own loud voice hurt his ears.

With a small smile he looked at his partner in crime who was sitting up and holding his forehead with his other hand. Last night had been a successful trip out of his annoying head. As Gaara straightened up and turned to Naruto, the carefree smile suddenly died on the blond's lips.

There were hickeys on his neck. Not just one, but many. Cold sweat broke on Naruto's forehead as he counted one plus one in his head. There was no way he had participated _in that_ in any way! No way! There had to be another logical explanation to the disturbing hickeys. Maybe Gaara had a snake-like neck and he had done them by himself? Yeah, that sounded about right.

"What happened?" Gaara asked as he noticed his unzipped pants and Naruto's lack of them.

To that, the blond had no answer so he just shrugged nervously, unable to tear his gaze away from the unsuspecting man.

"This headache is killing me. We better go to the sauna, it's a foolproof cure for hangover," Gaara continued and went to the door. Hurriedly, Naruto put on his jeans and stumbled after him.

From the fridge, the redhead took out two bottles of ice cold beer. And then he offered some painkillers for the both of them, and happily Naruto gulped them down with a tall glass of water. Just on their way to the basement floor they happened to bump into Kankuro, who was wearing a purple cycling helmet. He smiled brightly at them.

"Hey you guys, I see you finally woke up. I was just going out to… to…" he got into a loop like a broken vinyl as he noticed the strange marks on his little brother's neck.

Oblivious, Gaara just looked at him warily, not really understanding what temporary brain damage had gotten the better of his brother. When the brunette just stood there, mouth open, the redhead slightly shrugged and vanished to the staircase that descended down to the basement. Flashing an uneasy smile at the now suddenly serious older man, Naruto hurried after Gaara.

He was so going to get evicted.

Inside his head, Naruto screamed. On the outside, his panic was in no way visible as he sipped his beer and watched Gaara turn on the electric sauna stove. The knowledge that the sauna would be ready in fifteen minutes or so didn't really register to the blond, as he kept on thinking what to say when his unsuspecting victim would inevitably notice the proof of his drunken intimacy.

If only he could remember something, anything! But last night was like a big white blind spot he could not make visible. What could've possibly driven him to the redhead's arms, marking him like a hormonal teenager?

All too soon, they were sitting on the benches of the sauna while gentle steam caressed their sore souls. For the past fifteen minutes, they had sat on the chairs just outside the bathroom, sipping beer in mutual silence. Naruto was pretty sure Gaara didn't remember either. And for that, he was grateful.

"This is nice," the blond whispered, leaning against the wooden wall as the redhead threw some water to the sauna stove and sent a heavy cloud of steam to the roof. It landed on their sweaty skin, its hot embrace fiery but temporal.

"Yeah," Gaara replied, rubbing his neck absentmindedly. "This is―" And he stopped whatever he was about to say, his fingers ghosting on his own neck, mouth hanging open like he had just seen something he would've been better off not knowing. Slowly, the jade eyes turned to Naruto, and this time the pale face was all but expressionless. In any other circumstances the blond would've found this marvelous but right now that soundless shock imprinted on his companion's features was all but wonderful.

Gaara _remembered_. Naruto flashed him a smile, not sure how to react, for he had no idea what was really going on behind those glazed eyes.

Before he could say or ask anything, Gaara had already stood up and was climbing down the benches.

"Hey wait!" Naruto yelled and tried to get a grip of him, just to make him reconsider his hasty escape. Gaara's skin was slippery so he took hold of the towel that was tied around his waist, pleading him to halt his hurry.

But the redhead didn't seem to listen, his top priority to get out of the hot, way too hot, room, and being equally stubborn, Naruto refused to let go of him. With one irreversible step, the poor towel loosened its hold around Gaara's waist, only to remain hanging limply on the blond's sweaty grip.

Startled, Gaara turned around, instantly realizing his mistake as he now stood naked in front of the blond. Naruto was red like a beet as his gaze innocently dropped from the shocked pale face, down along the slim chest and waist, down to the one part in that lean body he was not supposed to see. Not like this, anyway.

And right then images of last night started popping into Naruto's memory like hollow beats of a drum. The white, blind spot was no more and in its place was now a collection of flashes one more embarrassing than the other. With equally shocked eyes, Naruto stared at his silent companion. Utterly ashamed, he tried to voice out an apology but failed, and instead buried his flushed face into his hands. Somewhere in the background, he could hear Gaara stomping up the stairs to the higher floors.

Naruto pulled his hair in exasperation. He was so stupid!

And now he was going to get evicted for sure!

As ashamed as he was to now recall the moment from last night, there was still something in it that made breath stick to his throat. They had been lying on the floor, and to be honest he had no idea what stupid, _stupid_ chain of events had led them there. His hand had found its way into Gaara's pants, his fingers entwined around that forbidden treasure he had just seen few minutes ago.

Naruto groaned and slapped himself in the face. He was an idiot, and it was no wonder that Gaara had fled once he had realized what demons last night had brought with itself. Even though, if he recalled correctly, and if this little piece of memory was not just some drunken hallucination, the redhead had acted quite co-operatively…

And that counter-reaction had encouraged Naruto to do the one thing he now regretted maybe the most. He had ground himself against the quietly gasping redhead and worked his magic on his unsuspecting neck. At that moment, it had felt like the best idea in the world. Naruto wanted to kick himself.

When he was sure that Gaara had really rushed into the safety of his own room and that Kankuro was nowhere in the house, Naruto silently snuck to his room one last time. Like a burglar, he fetched his phone and quickly changed into some clean clothes. Outside the house, he dialed Tenten's number and ran.

"It's an emergency," he whispered loudly as his friend picked up. "Come get me. And bring Sakura, too."

* * *

Naruto eyed the two girls sitting across from him at a quiet table at a nearby café. Tenten had her brown hair up in two buns like usually, but what was not common for her was the worried, almost borderline panicked expression on her tanned face.

"What's wrong, Naruto? You sounded crazy on the phone," Tenten started. Next to her, Sakura nodded, looking equally worried.

"I'm going to get evicted!" Naruto spurted out, hiding his face behind his hands. The full horror of the whole situation had only recently started to sink in. He had gotten his landlord drunk, then groped him and marked him for everyone to see. That was not okay.

"Why would they evict you?" Sakura asked, raising her pink brow. "They seemed so nice it's hard to believe that they would…" she trailed off and then a dark, grim expression overtook her features. "Naruto," she said a bit too harshly to the blond's liking. "What have _you_ done?"

"Why would you assume…?" Naruto laughed nervously, sweat trickling on his forehead already. It had been a while since he had witnessed her being this angry and if he looked closely, he could see a vein throbbing on her temple already.

"What did you do _this_ _time_?" Sakura bellowed, getting the brief attention of nearby customers before they turned their confused eyes away again. She reached over the table and gripped Naruto by the chest.

With an even more nervous laugh, Naruto stared into the homicidal green eyes. Right next to her, the brown haired woman stared at him levelly. The lack of surprise in Tenten almost offended Naruto. Why did his friends always have to think _he_ had messed up somehow?

"Explain. Now," Sakura huffed and released Naruto, only to cross her arms in front of her chest.

Twiddling the tablecloth, Naruto began to explain all the things that had led to this unfortunate present moment. He had been certain that in the end, he would've received a big smack on the head by Sakura's angry fist but to his surprise, the contact never came.

Instead, the two girls only looked at him silently, a slightly far-away look in their eyes. When Naruto had waited for a full minute for either of them to reply, he finally tilted his head and waved a hand in front of their faces.

"Hello, is anybody home?" he asked and the girls broke free from their daze.

"Um, sorry Naruto," Tenten apologized. "Could you please describe again what you did to him. And tell me again – in more detail this time – how this landlord of yours responded to your actions."

Naruto started to explain again, but the moment he recognized the glazed, far-away look in the girls' eyes, he stopped and looked at them heatedly. "Hey, earth to Sakura and Tenten. Come on, guys. You're supposed to help me."

"O-Oh, sorry Naruto," Sakura replied and wiped her mouth on her napkin. Had she just been drooling?

"You have to reconcile this to him somehow," Tenten suggested. "Maybe get him something that shows you're sorry."

"Like flowers?" Naruto asked and scratched his head.

"No, you can't buy something like that for a guy," Sakura rejected the idea.

"But he's actually very much into plants and gardening, so he might actually like it," the blond pointed out. "I mean, he actually gave me a cactus one time. And it was completely normal." He stressed the word normal.

Tenten sipped her drink absentmindedly all the while studying intently on Naruto. "What is your relationship with this guy anyway?"

"We don't have a relationship of any kind. He's my landlord," Naruto said with exaggerated articulation.

"But you still liked to grope him?" Tenten said, and the mischievous glint in her eyes was all but comforting.

"We were both drunk," Naruto defended, glancing around just to make sure no one was within earshot. "And besides, I was thinking about a girl back then. I mistook him for this girl I like, and I guess I didn't realize the difference until it was too late."

"What girl?" Sakura asked, her interest peaking. "You've never told me you had a crush on someone." And now there was genuine excitement audible in her voice.

"She is just a girl in a… in a nearby supermarket I go to," Naruto said, hoping this bit of information would end the conversation about this certain topic. But it seemed to have the opposite effect.

"What's her name?" Tenten asked, equally curious as her pink haired friend.

"Her name is Felicia," Naruto said confidently.

But Sakura had none of it. "Felicia is your car, Naruto."

"That, too," Naruto tried but didn't succeed in convincing his friends. Sometimes, and especially now, he hated those knowing faces with passion. He had not any kind of relationship with Gaara for god's sake. The redhead was his landlord and nothing else. Sure, the guy had given him a cactus as some sort of a gift when he had defended him against the jackasses. And yeah, he had saved the guy's life once and after that, the redhead had helped him through a panic attack. But besides those things, there was nothing there.

And he had no feelings whatsoever for Gaara.

What had happened was simply an idiotic mistake, one he would be sure to not make twice.

"You guys have to help me," Naruto whined. "How can I explain to him that I didn't mean it? You should've seen his face. That look of horror told me very clearly that he has certainly no romantic feelings for me," he said especially to Sakura with a knowing look. "And I wouldn't wonder if my things had been thrown out of the window by the time I get home."

The blond glanced at his brown haired friend, who was indeed looking back at him but no reply or suggestion how to deal with his problem ever came from her.

"I don't like that glazed look in your eyes, Tenten. To be honest it freaks me out," Naruto said and warily leaned back in his chair.

"I'm sorry," Tenten said, holding a napkin to her nose. Was she having a nosebleed? "I was just thinking how you could make it up for him."

"What is it that gets you guys like this?" Naruto questioned the girls but got no answer whatsoever. He huffed by himself, looking out of the café window. At moments like these, it sure felt like his friends were nothing but useless.

"And just to be clear," he addressed especially Tenten, "I'm into girls."

"You dated Kiba for nine months. And you lived with him for eight of them," Sakura quickly reminded, staring at him intently from behind her iced tea.

"Well, yeah. But it was not on an emotional level," the blond corrected.

"If I remember correctly, you were down for a month or two when you broke up," Sakura was kind to remind him.

Naruto ignored the comment completely. "Look, can we concentrate on how I can avoid being evicted for a change? I'd really hate to lose that place," he whined and looked out of the window again. His life really sucked right now. And it was all his fault.

"I suggest you talk to this landlord of yours. Maybe things will go back to normal after you've cleared things out," Tenten gave an idea.

"I don't know…" Naruto muttered. That talking part didn't sound so inviting. What he had been thinking about was something along the lines of hiding, avoiding and maybe changing his name and face, too. When he was about to crumble into despair once more, a sudden idea presented itself.

"Oh, Sakura," he said a bit too nicely, and the pink haired woman's brows furrowed instantly. "Would you like to have another movie night with us someday soon?"

The tightening of her grip around her glass was the only reply he got.

"You know, my _other_ landlord really liked having you around. And I bet he would be _delighted_ to see you again," the blond said and smiled innocently.

"Oh no Naruto," she said in a low, dangerous voice. He resisted the urge to gulp and shrink under the table. "You are not using me as bait so that they would let you stay."

"Please Sakura… Sakura-chan," Naruto chirped, feeling like a little bird flying ahead of a thundering storm cloud.

Her furious knuckle hit him in the head unapologetically, and a moment later a large bump adorned the top of his head like a hat too small. She looked at him heatedly, the familiar vein throbbing on her temple once again.

"Maybe you could just give him a call," Naruto said sweetly, but when she raised her fist again, he shrunk against his chair. "Or a text would be fine as well."

"Fine," she said to his surprise. "But I won't save you for the second time, got it?"

Naruto nodded, smiling gratefully at her even though the earlier fear of her mean temper hadn't still left his mind.

Before Tenten dropped him off to his home, they stopped at a small flower shop. Naruto went through the selection of plants one more fascinating after another. From the beginning he had decided he would not buy flowers. They would wither too quickly, and he was aiming for a more lasting solution.

A bizarre looking flytrap caught his attention. In all its creepiness, there was something charming in it. With a confident grin, he took it to the counter and asked the clerk to wrap it up. And a little card of a panda bear imprinted on the front side found its way along, too.

With a knowing look, Tenten bid him goodbye as he got off her car at his house. Naruto resisted the urge to correct her obviously incorrect thoughts that shone right through her devious eyes. As he had said, he had no relationship whatsoever with his landlord, and this plant here was not that kind of gift. It was just a simple way to say sorry, nothing else.

To his relief, none of his belongings were tossed on the front yard. Kankuro's car was not there, so the older man must've left the house. With sudden anxiousness, Naruto went into the house. It was quiet, almost too so.

Slowly, he made his way to the upstairs and on top of the stairs, he stopped. The plant sat snugly on his arms, and the little card was tucked into the pot. He took it out and once again read the text he had written in there: ' _I'm sorry. May this plant grow large enough to be able to one day swallow any poor soul guilty of your justified anger. Like me.'_

After collecting his courage for a good five minutes, Naruto proceeded down the hallway. When he reached Gaara's door, he stopped to breathe as if it would make the inevitable somehow more bearable.

Shyly, he knocked on the door.

Of course, there was no answer.

"Hey, it's me here," Naruto said, sounding a bit too awkward for his own liking. "I'm really sorry about earlier."

He listened to the silence for a moment. Gaara would really make a pretty good ghost, for it felt like the guy had vanished into thin air. "I got something for you. Something I thought you'd like. I'm going to leave it here next to your door, okay?"

As expected, his words received no reply.

"Well, um, I'm going outside for a while now. See you later I guess," Naruto mumbled and quietly left the house.

* * *

The last week had been unbearably awkward. The feared notice of eviction had never been brought to his attention, and after seven days of insufferable, mind-wrecking panic Naruto was starting to believe he had actually dodged that bullet.

Avoiding Gaara had turned out to be quite a troublesome task even though Naruto had a feeling that the guy was genuinely helping him on that secret mission. Whenever Naruto stomped along the corridor or anywhere near the redhead's supposed whereabouts, it was given that he would not see even a glimpse of red hair anywhere nearby. And whenever Naruto detected the other's ghost-like steps walk past his door, down to the stairs, he inhaled and refused to let it out until he was sure the guy was far from his ear-shot.

Their peculiar arrangement had worked well for them, yet it hadn't gone unnoticed by Kankuro. More than once had Naruto noticed the brunette opening his mouth to say something but quickly deciding against it. Needless to say, breakfast, dinner and supper were quiet times for the two of them. Thankfully the redhead had chosen to avoid all shared meals and lurked into the kitchen only when the coast was clear.

The curiosity in Kankuro's eyes hadn't dimmed even after a whole week. Naruto was sure the man was dying to know what the hell had actually happened under this roof, but whenever the brunette was about to voice out whatever questions plagued his mind, he seemed to decide against it. And maybe it was better. There were certainly things Kankuro wouldn't want to know. And if Naruto had a say, he too would rather forget all about that embarrassing incident.

Recent nights had been oddly peaceful. Maybe there had been no room in his mind for imaginary terrors, as for the past days his life had actually resembled a horror show of some kind. But as Naruto's mind was slowly getting used to the semi-permanent state of awkwardness that was going on in the house, the old, familiar fears started to manifest again from the nightly shadows.

It seemed, this night they would finally get the better of him. In the darkness, Naruto bolted out of his room towards the tiny bathroom across the corridor. His heart thumping in his throat, he turned the knob. It was locked.

It was only then he noticed the light flooding from between the doorframes. Why hadn't he noticed that in the first place? Just to escape the suddenly awkward situation, he turned around to rush back into his room. In his hurry he dashed against the doorframe, cursing like it was an instinct, before tripping on the threshold and falling down to the floor.

By now, fear had taken his breath away. The bodily pain couldn't distract his mind from the vivid creatures swarming in his room. They had seen him make a failed escape. And to punish his attempt, they were gathering around him with their outstretched hands. Naruto lay curled up like a defensive hedgehog. This was it―he was going to die!

"Naruto?"

If the blond hadn't clenched his terrified eyes shut, he would've seen the fluorescent light coming from the now open bathroom door. He wanted to scream, to run, but he was paralyzed.

"Are you alright?"

A panicked inhale was the only reply he could give as Gaara's hand tentatively touched his shoulder. The touch felt comforting, and the muscles in his throat momentarily loosened. He wanted to tell him to not let go, to not leave him here with _them_ , but nothing came out. With both hands, Gaara held his shoulders, trying to untie the knot Naruto had turned himself into.

"You are trembling."

And slowly, the contact did its magic as Naruto let go of his tenseness. He sat up on his knees and looked at the redhead. For some reason the comforting hands never left him, but were now gently rubbing his arms. When those miraculous hands were about to depart, the panic came rushing back to Naruto and he threw himself on the dumbfounded redhead's arms.

"D-Don't go," the blond whispered, squeezing his thin companion like his life depended on it.

After a short moment of shock, Gaara resumed to rub the blond's arms and back. "Are you afraid of the dark?"

"Y-Yeah," Naruto admitted.

"I was, too. When I was a kid," Gaara replied. The comment didn't ease Naruto, however, but only reminded him that a grown man shouldn't be this afraid of ridiculous things like these. He was acting childish, wasn't he?

"Come," the redhead suddenly said, encouraging him to stand up.

Hand never leaving his, they walked along the corridor towards Gaara's room. In the middle of the way, the redhead stopped. There was a door Naruto had never noticed before. Stuffy air greeted them as they stepped into a darkened walk-in closet. Gaara fumbled something in the back corner and soon found the switch of a little lamp that lay on the floor.

Old men's suits hung from the rails. Articles from seemingly old newspapers were glued to the walls in cheap replacement of actual tapestry. In the back corner, behind a rack of yet another collection of timeworn suits, was a thick mattress, pillows and blankets.

Naruto sat down on the mattress and looked around until his eyes fixated on the now closed door. He was listening hard, as if collecting evidence of oncoming threat. Everything was silent. The earlier panic that had kept his mind hostage was slowly letting go, and when his thoughts cleared a sense of shame washed over him. They hadn't really talked to each other after the unfortunate night when booze had gotten the better of them.

"Look, I'm sorry what happened. I was very drunk," Naruto started and hung his head in shame.

"I was, too," Gaara admitted quietly after a while.

Naruto glanced at him. The redhead looked graver than ever before as he seemed to study something with a distant look in his eyes. When his head was cast downwards like that, the dark rings around his eyes looked even more profound. He was not a ghost, but very ghost-like with his almost-tortured appearance.

"To be honest I don't really remember what led us to, eh, certain things," Naruto began and instantly hated how stupid he sounded. "But I assure you, I didn't mean anything by it. So don't worry, I'm not secretly into you or anything."

"I know," the redhead replied after some consideration. Then, he continued with a wry voice. "And just to make it clear I'm not suddenly drooling over you either. You weren't that good."

Naruto's initial reaction was to deny the absolutely inaccurate notion concerning his skills. But as soon as he got over the blow on his pride, he realized the minimal smile on his friend's lips. So, the guy was offering them an easy and humorous way out of an awkward conversation.

"So, is everything okay between us from now on?" Naruto asked, grinning more easily now.

"Yes. As long as you keep your hands to yourself," Gaara replied cockily.

"You have my word," Naruto nodded, his smile slowly melting into a milder expression. He hadn't really seen Gaara for the past week, and now in the dim closet, shadows cast over them, he looked even more tired and distressed than usually. As Naruto was about to point this out after a continued inspection, Gaara suddenly cut him off.

"Lie down and sleep. I'll keep watch."

"F-For what?" the blond asked nervously, trying to act like the words hadn't made any sense.

"To keep out whatever you were afraid of," the redhead said quietly. He fluffed the flat pillows for Naruto and then patted the mattress as if to test the springs. "If they're coming to get you, they have to get through me first. And that's not going to happen."

It felt odd more than anything to have someone take part in his private experiences. Cautiously, Naruto lay down. "Um, what makes you say that? I wasn't afraid," he defended himself.

Gaara sat next to Naruto's pillows and fastened two blankets over him. "If you weren't afraid, then why were you escaping into the bathroom again?"

"I wasn't― and what do you mean by _again_?" the blond asked and squeezed the blankets, as if it would shield him from this unpleasant conversation. As the pale green eyes only offered him a knowing look, his blue eyes narrowed. "Have you been spying on me?"

"No. But the walls are thin. And it's quite hard to ignore you stomping into the bathroom in the middle of the night, with the way you always slam the door shut like a murdered was on your heels," Gaara said calmly. "Even the paintings on the corridor clank against the wall when you do that. And I'm sure the mice on the roof flee every time you cause such a ruckus. The patting of their hurried little feet is very hard to ignore, too."

Naruto's mouth was a thin, serious line as he stared daggers at the suspicious redhead.

"That is none of your business," he said defiantly and squeezed the blankets in his fists. His fangs were bared now, his old defense mechanisms kicking in like a second nature. The insufferable guy was now looking at his cheeks, at the whisker-like scars he had there.

"Why did you scar yourself like that?" Gaara asked calmly and judging by his collected demeanor he was all but intimidated by him.

Instinctively, Naruto touched the old scars with his fingertips. Something tightened in his stomach as a memory strived to the surface. "As I told you, I don't remember," he snapped.

It wouldn't have surprised him if the familiar consciousness had started to unfurl inside his stomach, but instead nothing was happening. His belly was as hollow and lifeless as ever, and the only reminder of a presence other than himself were the inhumane scars carved on his face.

With a hissing whisper, Naruto gave a warning as hollow as his stomach. "If you keep sticking your nose into my business I will do something even worse to you than scars like these."

Gaara ignored the threat. "I don't think you would."

To that, Naruto only huffed. He was about to retort in some mean way, when fingers in his hair caught him off guard. A soft, caring caress in his blond, spiky locks demanded all of his attention, and unwillingly he relaxed under the touch.

He remembered the jerks in the parking lot that had been real asses towards Gaara. He remembered the horrible accident that had happened on the lake, and how Kankuro had wrongfully accused the redhead for it. If anything, he felt genuinely sorry for Gaara, who was now treating him as nicely as this despite his hostile behavior.

With a forced exhale, Naruto tried to calm himself down and soon after, his scarred cheeks relaxed. Gaara smoothed down his hair, trying to tuck it behind his ear but not succeeding as the blond locks sprung up right after.

"I'm sorry. I'm acting like a total idiot," Naruto whispered and buried his face in the blanket. He expected the redhead to leave, for who would want to stay in his company when he was acting like this?

"You're not an idiot," Gaara said quietly. "And you're right. It's none of my business. I'm sorry for pushing you."

"It's alright," Naruto sighed tiredly. "I can't really blame you for wondering about me. These scars make me stand out from the crowd pretty effectively, to be honest." It was a thing he didn't enjoy, for all he really wanted was to blend in. And every time he saw the marks in the mirror, he was reminded of Kiba's horrified expression when he had seen them for the first time. The scars fresh and reddish, Naruto had been really nervous to reveal what he had ended up doing.

The look of shock on his ex-boyfriend's face had turned into permanent disgust, and ever since there had been a great amount of uneasiness in Kiba whenever he had cast his eyes upon the blond. To have someone take interest in his peculiar marks was a sure way to launch Naruto straight into a downward spiral of heavy discomfort.

He glanced at Gaara cautiously, not sure what would be there in the jade eyes. A part of him was afraid to find signs of disgust and pity. Another part of him wished Gaara would accept him for who he was.

Still gently soothing down the blond locks, Gaara gazed at Naruto peacefully. There was no other emotion on the pale face except calmness and perhaps friendliness, at least as far as Naruto could read the guy. With a content sigh, Naruto rested his face against the blankets again.

"I don't want to stand out from the crowd. I want to blend in, like I was anyone. But it's never going to happen, not with a face like this," Naruto said bitterly. "Where ever I am, I'm an outcast. Like a big red clown's shoe next to a row of trendy sneakers if you know what I mean." The fingers massaged his scalp gently, soothingly, and Naruto let himself relax a bit more.

"But when I'm with you, I feel like I'm part of the crowd." No matter if it was only a crowd of two. "I know I'm probably making no sense to you and I'm sorry if this all sounds weird to you. What I mean is that… I feel like you let me be me, and you're not trying to change me into anything else. I appreciate it." When his eyes were closed and his face hidden by the covers, it was easier to speak out his mind. He was sure he would've never let the redhead know of these thoughts of his, if he were forced to look him in the eyes.

"You should try to sleep. It will be dawn soon." And then the fingers left his hair.

"Alright," Naruto whispered. As he happened to gaze at the pale hands that had brought odd comfort to him, his stare suddenly stopped. His wrists were wrapped up in gauze.

"What happened to you?" Naruto asked.

The redhead hid his hands from the view. "I strained my wrists."

"Both of them?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"In the garden," Gaara only offered as an explanation.

"Really? Show me," Naruto said, reaching for his hands.

"You really should sleep," the redhead replied quickly and made no move to let his wrists be examined.

Naruto had never seen him like that, aquamarine eyes suddenly dark and deep. Something in that haunted expression screamed at him, like a broken neon-sign flashing out of rhythm. Before Naruto could think anything more of it, Gaara moved a single lock of hair from the blond's forehead to the side.

Not sure how to react, Naruto closed his eyes just to escape the strange sensation. It didn't feel right for them to have this kind of contact. Just like with the cactus and many more things after that, he had no idea how to interpret this. The memory of his touch kept on living on his skin, haunting and unexplained.

Something in the way Gaara could touch him so easily, bothered him. It shouldn't be this easy, and it shouldn't feel the way it did.

"Shouldn't you try to sleep too?" the blond asked, as he discreetly inspected the ever-dark rings around the aquamarine eyes. "You look like you haven't rested in a hundred years."

Gaara snorted in amusement, a sound that totally caught Naruto off guard. "No. I can't. I'm an insomniac."

"Ah, that sucks. What if you just lay down and closed your eyes? Maybe sleep will come tonight," the blond tried. "Besides, I can't sleep if I know you're staring at me the whole night."

"I wasn't going to―"

"I know, I know," the blond interrupted and inched closer to the wall, making room for his friend.

Gaara evaluated the situation for a moment, until he lay down with slight reluctance. Naruto offered him a pillow, for he didn't need all the three that had been piled under his head. The guy was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling wide awake. Naruto yawned and glanced at the foot of the mattress, where darkness was eating away their toes.

Seemingly frozen shadows were plastered on the walls but Naruto knew better than to assume they would remain that way throughout the night. With determination he threw the second blanket over Gaara, now hiding both of their bodies from invisible threats.

"I don't need a blanket," Gaara refused but didn't make any effort to peel himself free.

"Well you're getting one, anyway," Naruto said and smiled. There was nothing like a carefree grin to lead through any awkward situation. With some self-irony, he added, "Who knows what lurks in the shadows."

"So there is something there, after all?" Gaara replied with a voice not totally serious, and glanced around. "Well, if I'm not here in the morning, you know you'll be the next."

And with that, he turned off the lights.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Naruto exclaimed and squeezed the blanket. He was all but scared now, thanks to the breathing person right next to him, but he didn't totally appreciate the humor. When the only reply he got was what sounded awfully lot like an amused chuckle, he huffed. After staring a few minutes into the darkness, he asked quietly. "You aren't going to leave me here alone, are you?"

The blankets rustled as Gaara shifted his position. "I would never."

His voice was way too closer than Naruto had anticipated. Like a turtle, he pulled his head closer to his body, just to escape the unknown closeness. When the guy spoke nothing after that, he closed his eyes and concentrated on keeping his body as close to the wall as possible.

* * *

Gentle beams flooding in from the tiny window woke Naruto up. Tiredly, he yawned and opened one eye. Before he could startle at the strange surroundings, a memory of the night before came back to him. He was in the roomy closet with Gaara, and Gaara was… Naruto recoiled as he only then realized the redhead was sleeping soundly in his arms, his spiky hair tickling his face.

With uttermost caution, he rolled the guy to lie on his back, so that the poor redhead wouldn't freak out when he'd wake up. To find himself in Naruto's arms would surely be the last thing Gaara wanted to experience, and this time even Sakura couldn't help him if the brothers finally decided to kick him out.

In the soft morning light, Gaara's skin had a healthy hue. As he slept, he looked more carefree than Naruto had ever seen him before. The little crease between his nonexistent brows was all smoothed out and the closed black eyelids were all but intimidating.

Naruto's gaze found the fading hickeys again and in a moment like this it felt completely unexplainable how he had once had the desire to explore the guy like he was some foreign continent in need of mapping. It was completely clear he had mistaken him for Sakura. If he was honest, the guy looked so much like her. If Gaara would grow a pair of breasts, get some curves, let his hair grow longer and dye it lighter, and if his eyes were a shade of darker, richer green and not outlined with those strange black streaks, he would be just like her. Yeah, the guy was a total lookalike.

But unlike Sakura, Gaara wasn't appealing in any way. He could never find his restful, black eyelids the least bit of beautiful. And certainly those slightly parted lips were nothing special, no matter how soft they looked like. Those fading hickeys were ugly in all their horridness and some of them seemed to vanish under Gaara's shirt. Naruto hadn't remembered that.

Sleepily, Gaara let out a little sound and turned his face towards Naruto. The guy sounded unattractive, and Naruto's pulse quickened just because of that. The black-rimmed eyes opened slightly, only to meet Naruto's blue ones that were staring right back.

"Naruto…" the guy whispered drowsily and by now the blond had to look away. "What time is it?"

"I have no idea," Naruto shrugged casually and studied the coats hanging on the numerous racks. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," Gaara replied and he sounded surprised, like something unbelievable had just happened to him. "I did."

As the Sakura-lookalike stretched his arms and let out a few more sleepy murmurs, Naruto shivered. He was repulsed. "Maybe we should go check if there's still breakfast left."

"Alright," Gaara agreed and together, they made their way downstairs.

As expected, Kankuro was in the kitchen and he instantly seemed to register the latest turn in Gaara and Naruto's relationship. Wise as he was, he chose not to address this change in any way, but instead acted completely normal.

"Here," the brunette said and put a box of cornflakes on the table. "Help yourself something from the fridge. I'm in a bit of hurry."

Gaara walked slowly to the coffeemaker which fortunately had a half-full pot. As Kankuro was about to fill the cup in the redhead's outstretched hand, he suddenly stopped and put the pot away. Gauze peeked from under the long sleeves and silently, Kankuro grabbed his little brother's wrists.

Gaara's face was unreadable like always as the brunette stared at him in shock. The look on Kankuro's face turned even grimmer as he pressed his thumbs against the redhead's gauze-covered wrists. The little brother winced instantly, and the first word that popped up into Naruto's mind was pain.

He was quietly inspecting the brothers' wordless communication from his spot at the table. It seemed like Kankuro was whispering something heatedly to his little brother before he released his wrists. And then, the older man turned to leave like nothing had just happened.

"I have to get going. I've got an important meeting today," Kankuro explained, then added as an afterthought. "It's a work thing."

"Then why are you dressed up like that?" Gaara asked as he sat down at the table with a now full coffee cup in his hand.

Kankuro looked down at himself, at his worn grey shirt and faded jeans. "Oh, you're right. I've got to change," he said and was about to pull off his shirt.

"For god's sake go to your room. People are trying to eat here," Gaara quipped.

"Fine, fine," the brunette muttered and left the kitchen. Not a moment longer he returned with a more decent choice of clothes.

Naruto was sure that shirt was new. With the way it hugged the older brother's well-toned body, he was sure he'd remember seeing something like that before. And before his staring could become obvious, he quickly averted his gaze to his cornflakes.

When he had collected his confidence again, he glanced at the handsome brunette. Kankuro was standing behind Gaara's back, nudging his head into his little brother's direction. Naruto frowned, not understanding.

Kankuro rolled his eyes before pointing a finger at Gaara, then at Naruto. He was mouthing some words Naruto could not make out. Shrugging, the blond averted his gaze again and thought nothing of the strangely behaving man. He had a lot on his mind right now and the brunette's sign language was something he was not interested in decoding right now.

"Er, what are you guys doing today?" Kankuro asked casually while glancing at the redhead's arms every so often. "Are you spending the day together?"

"No," Gaara replied for the both of them before Naruto even had a chance to open his mouth.

And now the brunette was looking at Naruto with that pressing look again. There was something desperate and pleading in the bottom of those black eyes. The blond stared back for a few moments before evaluating the redhead next to him.

"Do you remember that nature reserve I told you earlier? Would you like to go there?" Naruto asked casually, like he wasn't interested in it himself.

Gaara shrugged. "Why not."

"Okay, it's fine to me," Naruto replied calmly.

When he happened to look at Kankuro again, the man looked relieved for some reason. Even a slight smile was tugging up the corners of his mouth. Naruto went back to his breakfast, trying to forget all about the weird communication that had just taken place in this room. To him, it was safe to assume that he was certainly not the only one with strange means to communicate. Hell, at the moment he felt like he was the most normal guy under this roof.

* * *

After a week or two, Naruto was just getting home from work.

"Oh, hey Sakura. What are you doing in here?" he asked as he bumped into his friend on the front door of the house.

"Hi Naruto," she greeted, her cheeks flushed – perhaps from delight at seeing him? "I was just getting this thing back I forgot here last time, remember?" She rummaged through her bag and then held something in her hands for him to see. "This."

"Isn't that your library card? I don't remember―"

"I hate to rush but I'm in a hurry. Would you be a real friend and drive me home?" Sakura asked and looked at the two cars on the yard. Next to Naruto's timeworn Škoda was Kankuro's brand new Audi.

"Please?" she asked and Naruto had no heart to refuse her plea.

He was hungry and he really had to go to the toilet, but those twinkling green eyes were just too irresistible to say no to. She hadn't been in this good mood for a long time, and for once it seemed there was no threat for sudden bursts of anger on her part. Absentmindedly, Naruto rubbed his head where her fist had connected only some days ago.

"Alright, let's go," he said and flashed his trademark smile for her.

"Thanks, you're a real treasure," she said and pecked a little kiss on his cheek. Before he knew it she was already hurrying towards the car.

For what felt like an eternity to him, he just stood there, fingers touching the spot where she had left tingling sensation mere seconds ago. Had that really happened? When he heard her call him with her sweet, charming voice, he broke out of his fantasies and hurried to the car. Since when had Sakura had that kind of relaxed, peaceful voice? Just to make sure he wasn't dreaming, he pinched himself in the arm.

She was oddly quiet during the car ride. To Naruto it felt awkward and he tried to start a conversation.

"You know, I could've brought your library card to the bookstore for you. All you had to do was ask."

"I know," she said, her smile nervous and uptight. "But I didn't want to trouble you."

Naruto shrugged, not sure what to say. She seemed preoccupied and he couldn't help but wonder if Sasuke was being an ass again. The guy had a tendency to that, and even a thought of someone mistreating her made him angry. The only hint of his inner annoyance was the way he kept on gripping the wheel.

"So, how are things going with your landlord, if you know what I mean," Sakura teased suddenly. "I take it they didn't have the heart to kick you out yet?"

"Eh, things are fine I guess," Naruto said very, very nervously. He forgot his suddenly heavy foot on the gas pedal and only when he was well over the speed limit, he realized his mistake and slowed down. "We are in talking terms."

"I guess the cork stays tightly on the bottle, am I right?" she laughed but he could not find the humor in that sentence.

"You bet," Naruto assured gravely. Guess he would have to just endure his irritating mind nonstop from now on. No more trips to oblivion, no matter how important they were every once in a while.

"Even though, you two would make a cute couple."

Now he knew she was just teasing him. Naruto spared her a glance that was meant to deliver his pretty little message quite forwardly: shut the hell up. She only laughed, and once again Naruto could not find anything funny in the situation.

"Anyway," Naruto began, giving one more knowing glance at his friend, "I think I owe you for saving my ass. You did contact Kankuro didn't you?"

She nodded and looked through the windshield. "Anything for you. Well, almost anything," she said.

"I hope it wasn't too awkward. I'm sorry I dragged you into this. I have a feeling I shouldn't have asked you to do it," Naruto said. Even though he admired the brunette and his charming normalcy, a small part of him was not happy that he had encouraged Sakura to approach him.

"No, it's alright," she said and waved her hand dismissively. "I texted him and it was not too awkward."

"Good," the blond said, relieved.

"We had coffee once and I tried to put on a good word for you and make him see what a wonderful tenant you are," she continued.

"You had coffee with him?" Naruto was surprised. Then after a momentary glitch he regained himself and added, "I mean, thanks Sakura. That was very nice of you."

She only smiled at him mysteriously and then looked out of the window again.

He parked on the street and glanced grimly at the darkened windows of her home. Bet the bastard was there, taking her for granted like always. She must've noticed his sour mood, for she patted him on the shoulder and smiled sisterly at him.

"Thanks, Naruto. You're the best."

"You, too," he called and let his eyes rest on her distancing figure for a prolonged moment before he pulled off and headed back home.

Now returning home for the second time that day, Naruto tried to contain his excitement. His earlier hunger and urge to empty his bladder had strangely vanished after the minutes he had spent with her. She was _his_ friend, and had asked _him_ for a favor. And she had almost _kissed_ him. Take that, Kankuro!

After a quick visit to the bathroom, he walked into the kitchen with a wide grin on his face. As soon as he got there, Kankuro let go of his little brother's shirt and pushed him away. His angered expression turned into a neutral one as he hurriedly left the room without saying a word. For the past week, scenes similar to this had been happening around the house and Naruto wasn't quite sure what to think of it. Both of the brothers seemed to be tight-lipped about it.

The insomniac redhead sat at the table, where a cup of green tea already waited for him.

"You seem to be in a good mood," Gaara noticed.

"Yes I am," Naruto almost sang. He wondered if he should ask about the tight atmosphere between the brothers, but then decided against it. In a cheerful manner he waltzed to the fridge. A piece of strawberry pie Kankuro had baked for the three of them looked especially alluring at the moment. His stomach grumbled softly at the mere sight of the goody.

It seemed his good mood was not rubbing off on the redhead. For some reason, the guy looked even grumpier than usually. Maybe it was just another poorly slept night?

"What got you so down?" Naruto asked, munching a slice of pie.

Gaara glanced at him warily. The blond didn't like that foreign look. Not letting his confidence falter, Naruto addressed the guy again. "Come on, you can tell me."

"No."

"Please, Gaara."

"No." Gaara stood up and abandoned his half-full teacup altogether.

Naruto followed him into the garden. He tried to sort out the reasons why he felt such need to be in this guy's company in moment like this. There was something Gaara was not telling him and it bugged him to no end. They stopped next to a small field of some kind. Following his companion's example, Naruto too sat down on the grass.

Expectantly, he stared at the ominously quiet redhead. Something was obviously wrong, even he could notice that. "Tell me what it is."

"I can't," Gaara said and shook his head. With the way his brow was slightly furrowed, there was something trembling just beneath the surface for sure.

"Hey, I'm here for you if you ever need me," the blond said quietly and attempted to smile. But it seemed his words echoed to deaf ears, as the redhead kept on staring into distance.

After a while, Gaara turned his serious jade eyes to the blond's blue ones and commanded, "Close your eyes and open your mouth."

"What?" Naruto laughed and glanced around nervously.

"Do it," the redhead repeated and the look he was giving him left very little room for arguments. However strange Naruto found the suggestion, he acceded with slight hesitation.

He heard him move on the grass, like he was reaching for something. Just when he was about to peek even a teeny tiny bit, something touched his lips. He opened his eyes only to find Gaara holding a large strawberry against his lips. With an amused smile-like expression, the redhead pushed it half-way in.

Judging by the way those pale lips curved up more than ever before, Naruto surely reminded him of something funny. At least the blond himself felt like a piggy with an apple in his mouth.

Taking hold of the strawberry, Naruto bit the pseudofruit, its sweet juices caressing his tongue. It had to be the most exquisite one he had ever had the pleasure to have.

"Are these the ones your brother made the pie out of?" he asked.

"Yes. And there are plenty of them there still left," Gaara replied and pointed towards the field.

They ate the red pseudofruits in silent contentment. The blond couldn't get past the idea that it sure had been weird having another guy poke a strawberry into his mouth. Surely the gesture was nothing but humorous, yet he couldn't totally overlook the weirdness of it all.

Gaara was enjoying his share of the strawberries, seemingly unaware of Naruto's discreet attention on him. The way those black eyelids momentarily closed as he ate an exceptionally juicy strawberry, did not go unseen. Or the way he tried to suck his fingers clean as the red juices inescapably made them sticky and stained.

Right then Naruto remembered he had a half-eaten strawberry in his hand, and hastily he popped it into his mouth. As he munched it nervously, he came to think of all the similarities between Gaara and Sakura again. There was no doubt that Gaara was an obvious doppelganger. The red and green and the paleness of his skin, it was just like her. And he had had a crush on her for so long he wondered if he had ever really gotten over it.

And that had to be the reason why all kind of weird thoughts seemed to occur whenever his attention lay on the redhead longer than necessary.

No matter how captivating it was to follow him eating the impossibly juicy strawberries, there was a persistent shadow hovering over the guy, a shadow Naruto wanted to dissolve. Whenever the redhead was quiet like this, he reminded Naruto of an impenetrable, thick stone wall. The blond tilted his head, wondering what kind of rock he should throw over that barrier to get a reaction.

"What is it with the fights with your brother lately?" he asked innocently.

A sharp glare was his only answer. Ouch. Naruto winced and rubbed the back of his head.

Changing his tactic, he tried again. "Would you like to go driving aimlessly tonight? I know a nice roadside café not too far away."

"With your car? No thanks." The redhead's cold tone of voice gave no mercy to Naruto's friendly attempts.

A little frustrated, Naruto eyed his grumpy companion from head to toe. If only he could drag the guy's thoughts out of the murky depths they surely lingered in at the moment.

"You know, Gaara, you said to me earlier that I wasn't that good…" Naruto finally started and looked at the redhead in a challenging way. "And while I appreciate constructive criticism, I can't help but wonder if you have enough baselines to say something like that."

"I have enough baselines to easily say you were the worst," Gaara said arrogantly, sparing no mercy for his companion's feelings.

"Really?" Naruto replied, his eye twitching as his hurt pride reminded him of its existence. With an exhale he tried to calm himself down without success. "Well just so you know that's not what you said that night. You said I was the best―"

For an answer, Gaara popped another big strawberry into the blond's mouth like he would put a cork on a bottle. It was an obvious sign for him to shut up, a sign not completely serious but humorous instead.

The sight of Naruto sourly eating the sweet strawberry must've looked amusing to Gaara, given how the pale lips curved up ever so slightly. After getting over the blow on his pride (once again) Naruto managed to smile, too, and he hoped the silliness of this whole situation would drag the redhead out of his earlier sad mood.

And judging by the dark yet somehow amused expression gracing the pale features, he seemed to have succeeded.


	4. Slumbering Seeds

**\+ + + Schizotypal + + +**

 **Disclaimer:** _I don't own 'Naruto' and I make no money from these writings._

 **A/N:** _Just so you know there's some angst ahead but it'll be not without fluff._

 _Hey thank you guys for the lovely reviews. They make me smile in a silly way. :3_

 _And_ _ **Wren**_ _, thank you – you are very insightful and I'm happy to hear you've liked this little story so far. :) Maybe this chapter will enlighten some of your ponderings about Kankuro and Gaara?_

* * *

 **Chapter 4: Slumbering Seeds**

Gaara's foul mood was really starting to annoy Naruto. He was sure even Kankuro had noticed his little brother's recent temper. The most frustrating thing in the whole ordeal was that he had no idea what had gotten into the redhead. People, and Gaara especially, were impossibly confusing from time to time.

Naruto loved pie. The moment Kankuro had told them he would bake an apple pie for them in the evening, the blond's stomach had cheered all but discreetly at the announcement. Of course, right then they had noticed they were out of flour, and it had somehow come around that Naruto and Gaara could go grocery shopping, together. Kankuro had been busy with something – he always was to the blond's surprise – and since Gaara had no driver's license, Naruto was to be his designated driver.

Just to escape the redhead's sour mood, Naruto had suggested he go alone. Both of the brothers had rejected the idea almost comically in unison, looking at each other with something akin to panic. Back then, Naruto had rolled his eyes at them. Yes, he had once brought potato flour instead of regular flour, but what was the difference really? It had read 'flour' on the package, so the rest shouldn't really matter, right?

And so his insatiable hunger for pie had driven him to grocery shopping with none other than the grumpy redhead. When Gaara had once again eyed Naruto's trustworthy vehicle with unjust distaste, he had asked if they could take his brother's car instead. Back then, Kankuro's gaze had darted from the dented Škoda to his brand new Audi and for some reason unknown his eye had started to twitch.

Naruto had thought nothing of the strange behavior but instantly rejected the suggested idea. He did not like new cars. They had too much electricity in them and the whole dashboard reminded him of an actual spaceship. But what was the worst was the tracking system they secretly installed into those things during the manufacturing process.

"We should've taken his car," Gaara mumbled as the familiar rattle from the motor got louder and louder again.

"Nonsense. Wouldn't want the government to know where we're shopping at, don't you think?" Naruto reasoned.

Gaara spared him a hard glance. "They are not tracking us. No one is. His car is safe, a lot safer than… this," he said, gesturing at the general horridness that was the ancient vehicle.

"You know so little what's going on. Don't you follow the news? They're onto us, every one of us," Naruto said and shrugged. Just to be sure, he glanced up at the sky but no satellites were visible.

"If you're so worried about it, then why do you carry your phone around everywhere you go? And didn't you say you keep the location constantly on?"

That was a good point, one that Naruto hadn't expected to be brought up. Biting his lip, he responded, "I have to keep it on so that I can find my phone with my laptop, if I ever happen to lose it."

"What do you mean 'if you happen to lose it'? You do it all the time," Gaara argued.

"You seem to be in awfully grumpy mood today," the blond retorted, clenching the wheel. "You know, I could've handled the groceries by myself easily."

To that, his companion didn't reply immediately. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Gaara finally answered. "I know. But since I didn't have anything better to do, I thought I could come with you."

"Thanks. It's nice and I appreciate it," Naruto told honestly with a little smile. Just hopefully, his good mood would rub off on the cranky redhead.

Half an hour later two bags of groceries sat snugly on the back seat. Arms crossed in front of him, Gaara sat somberly next to Naruto, staring through the windshield. The blond paid no attention to the silent redhead, but instead kept on glancing at the rear mirror. That van tailing right behind them was starting to get him annoyed.

Who were they in that vehicle, and why had they chosen to follow him so closely? Was it because of Gaara? With a quick turn to the right, Naruto succeeded to mislead them.

"W-Where are you going? Home is in the other way," Gaara noticed and glanced bewilderedly at Naruto.

"I know. I was just getting sick of that yellow car driving so closely behind us," he explained calmly, eyes on the rear mirror again.

Gaara turned to look through the rear window. "I can't see anyone."

"Exactly," the blond smiled, holding the wheel casually with one hand. "You can thank me for that."

But Gaara did none of that, instead he looked at him like he had just lost his mind.

"Who knows, maybe it was the government," Naruto pondered and shrugged.

"In that yellow car?" the redhead asked seriously.

"Mm-hmm," the blond confirmed.

In the passenger's seat, Gaara buried his face in his hands. When he didn't return to his normal, upright position even after some moments, Naruto gave him a worried look.

"Hey, there's no point hiding your face now. They've got your picture already. You see, they use the front camera of your phone to gather information. That's why I've covered mine with tape. Clever, eh?" Naruto said and smiled in a carefree way.

Slowly, Gaara lifted up his face from his palms and straightened up. The guy looked calm but wasn't there something boiling just beneath the surface? Naruto was sure he could feel controlled anger radiating from the redhead.

"Are you alright?" Naruto asked and spared him a glance. "You've been horribly uptight lately. And have you lost a pound or two?"

Instinctively, Gaara wrapped his arms around his waist, as if to shield himself from the seemingly unwanted attention. However, the redhead chose not to grace the blond with an answer.

Naruto sighed, but he had a feeling he shouldn't let the matter be. They drove in tensed silence, until he noticed some suspicious-looking pedestrians on the sidewalk. The other one was talking to their cell phone and the other one was paying suspiciously much attention to them as they drove past them.

Naruto clicked his tongue knowingly. They were onto him, that much was clear. There was no doubt his current whereabouts were transmitted via the cell phone even now, and most certainly somewhere ahead he would find equally suspicious agents waiting for him.

But as always, he was one step ahead and he would mislead them before they'd even know it. Despite their clever disguise, Naruto knew they weren't just ordinary people. With a sudden turn to the left, he escaped along a bumpy grit road that snaked between thick conifer forests.

"Where the hell are you going now?" Gaara asked, unable to keep irritation out of his voice.

"Didn't you notice those guys with their sunglasses on just a moment ago?" Naruto asked and checked the rear mirror.

"You mean the elderly couple who were walking their dog?" the redhead asked back with a tightening voice.

"Yes," Naruto confirmed. "They noticed us."

Gaara sighed pointedly and squeezed the timeworn seat until his knuckles turned white. "Well of course they would! With all respect your car is an attraction on itself, not to mention that loud motor noise you try to cover up with radio."

To that, Naruto only huffed in a disagreeing way. "You're wrong. They were keeping an eye on us and transmitting our current whereabouts to their comrades. Sooner or later, a red car would've appeared behind us."

"Stop it!" Gaara exclaimed, unable to keep his irritation under control anymore. "You are acting delusional again."

"I'm not the delusional one in this car," Naruto said quickly and checked the rear mirror again. No one was behind them, which only proved he had been right all along.

"Oh, you are definitely delusional if you claim that things like that are actually real," Gaara snapped and clenched his fists. "No one is following us, and red is maybe one of the most common colors of cars nowadays. Seeing one would be simply a coincidence."

"You see, that's what they want us to think," Naruto pointed out, confident about his own conclusions. "But I saw right through them, because I am always one step ahead. They won't catch us, thanks to me."

"Just… Just listen to yourself!" Gaara exclaimed again and buried his face in his palms in exasperation. "This is exactly like that one time at the mall, when you told me that all those people knew who you were, or what you were about to do."

"Your disbelief just shows how ignorant you are, Gaara. They know everything," Naruto said in a completely serious tone of voice

But Gaara only sighed in defeat. "I have not the patience for this right now. Take us home the fastest route or else."

"Or else what?" Naruto asked, one hand casually on the wheel while he dug his teeth with the other.

Gaara turned to look at him with a dark, angry expression. "Or I will do something so horrible to you that you'd rather let those imaginary trackers get you."

A little unnerved, Naruto gulped but didn't dare to object. A dark cloud hung above them inside the car, and he was sure a lightning would strike him down if he dared to discuss the controversial subject any further.

After he had found a way back to the main road, he tried to lighten up the atmosphere with a completely different topic.

"Hey, you know what's great?" he asked with a grin. As expected, his silent companion didn't grace him with an answer.

"Sakura is spending the weekend with us," Naruto beamed and drummed the wheel with his fingers.

But Gaara didn't show any emotion to indicate whether or not he found this old news delightful or not.

Naruto spared a glance at the redhead, who still had his fists clenched. "Her boyfriend is out of town. One of those business trips again, I guess. Anyway, she hates staying at home alone and I can't really blame her. You should see their house, it's huge!"

A slight sigh was his only answer, and by now the quiet redhead was staring at his lap, deep in thought.

"She usually stays at Tenten's place, but this time Neji is in town and believe me, you don't want to spend the weekend under the same roof with those lovebirds," Naruto chuckled and smiled by himself. "I mean it. I've been through it and I barely survived."

A faint snort escaped Gaara's lips but as Naruto turned to look at him, the guy was once again facing the passenger's window.

Back at home, Kankuro accepted the groceries with a curt thank you. His black eyes were darting between quiet Naruto and still-grumpy Gaara. Whatever the man interpreted from that seemed not to relieve him judging by the way his mouth was nothing but a tight line.

As Naruto offered to help around in the kitchen, it instantly resulted in an amused snort from the older brother and a quiver of a restrained smile from the redhead.

"Thanks, I can manage this by myself," Kankuro said and went back to what he was doing.

Just as Gaara was about to hurry upstairs, and as Naruto was about to follow him (he had a bad feeling for some reason), the front door opened and in stepped none other than friendlily smiling Sakura. Both Gaara and Naruto halted in their rush.

"Hello, everyone," she called and the first thing Naruto noticed was her happily relaxed shoulders. Unlike now, usually they were tensed up, often accompanied with a vein throbbing on her temple or her fist clenching tightly by her side.

"Sakura," Naruto breathed as he finally came back to earth. "Hi."

Her perfume wafted into his nose as she lowered her heavy bag on the floor. She was smiling at _him_ , and with arms stretched out she came to _him_ , closing him into a short embrace which felt like it lasted for an eternity.

This was _their_ moment, a moment she was noticing _him_ and no one else.

"Hi, Sakura," Kankuro greeted as he suddenly appeared into the hallway. An apron was loosely tied around his waist and there was flour on his brown hair.

Sakura stepped away from Naruto and smiled at the brunette, for obviously she found the sight amusing. Kankuro replied with a smile of his own, and suddenly Naruto felt cold and lonely and excluded. Somewhere in the background, Gaara's steps vanished into upstairs.

"I hope you enjoy your time here," Kankuro finally said and turned to go back to the kitchen. "You can sleep on the couch."

"Thank you," she smiled for a tad longer than what was necessary in Naruto's opinion. With springy lightness, she grabbed her heavy bag and walked past Naruto into the living room.

He followed her hastily. "You can have my room. I can sleep on the couch."

"Thanks, but no. I'll rather sleep here," she said kindly yet her tone of voice left no room for arguments.

In silent defeat, Naruto nodded and let his eyes wander from her to the tidy couch, to the bookshelf on the wall, to the door to Kankuro's room not too far away.

"Don't hesitate to ask if you change your mind," Naruto said even though he already knew the outcome.

She smiled at him quickly. "Thanks. You're a good friend, Naruto."

Kankuro peeked into the living room. "Hey Sakura, I'm baking an apple pie. If you want to, you can help."

"Oh, I'd love to," she agreed and once again left Naruto standing on the spot, alone.

"Hey, why is she allowed to help and I'm not?" the blond asked with slight annoyance.

"Well," Kankuro said, not even bothering to look at him as he was already looking for a spare apron for her. "First of all I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mistake salt for sugar."

That was a good point, Naruto had to agree. Boy, those had been some salty buns they had had back then. As he recalled the look of pure disgust on Kankuro's face as he had taken an unsuspecting bite of a freshly-baked bun, he couldn't help but snicker. After that, the older brother had banned him from the kitchen. Of course, Naruto had disapproved of the restriction, but for some reason Gaara hadn't taken his side back then. And that was why the restriction was standing even today.

In defeat, Naruto sat down at the kitchen table. Some time ago, Gaara had vanished upstairs with a grim aura hovering over him, and the blond wondered if he should look him up. Then again, Sakura was his friend and he felt obliged to stay in the same room with her.

And now she had flour in her hair and both Sakura and Kankuro giggled at something Naruto had no idea of. Her hair was up in a ponytail and whenever she moved her head, it swayed femininely just above her shoulders.

"Naruto," she said suddenly in an exceptionally cheerful voice.

Automatically, he smiled at her in return. As she stood in front of him, he couldn't help but notice how nicely the apron hugged her figure.

"Could you help me with something?" she asked and he perked up. "I need to send a few texts but as you can see I'm in the middle of baking a pie," she explained and at the mention of the goody, Naruto's stomach grumbled.

"Alright," he promised with a shrug.

"Thanks, you're a real friend, Naruto," Sakura said kindly and kissed him on the forehead.

"A-Anything for you," Naruto replied with a blush and suddenly it felt very important to fiddle the tablecloth with his fingers.

"Here," she said and gave him her phone. "Tell Sasuke I'm here for the weekend and that I'll call him tomorrow."

Naruto paled and his insides tightened into an uncomfortable knot. But as the memory of her sweet kiss still burned on his forehead, he made it his priority to not show his uneasiness.

"Do you want to recite to me what to write or…?" Naruto asked with his best carefree manner.

"Nah, you can do it by yourself like you've used to. You know he won't notice the difference," Sakura said absentmindedly, as she read the cookbook with Kankuro peeking over her shoulder at the small print.

With sweaty hands, Naruto did as he was told. Rather quickly, he typed: _'I'm spending the weekend with Naruto. I'll call you tomorrow.'_

Half a minute later he got a reply. _'Oh really? You're spending awfully lot of time with him lately.'_

Naruto frowned in confusion. That was not true. Just as he was about to point that out, Sasuke sent another message.

' _Honestly I don't understand why you still bother to hang out with Piss-Pants.'_

Maybe it was the sun hiding behind a cloud, but suddenly the whole room felt darker. The knot on his insides got tighter as he re-read the hurtful words.

' _Don't call him that,'_ Naruto typed.

' _It's just a nickname. And you used to call him that, too, remember?'_

' _The whole thing was your fault,'_ Naruto replied and in his mind, he added a few selected words in the end.

' _It was a joke.'_

' _But not a very funny one, babe,'_ Naruto replied. He was supposed to be Sakura, after all.

' _Whatever. I have to go now. Talk to you later. I love you.'_

' _I love you too,'_ Naruto replied to Sasuke and added Sakura's signature mark, a sparkling pink heart, in the end.

He lifted his gaze to the pie-bakers. It looked like so much fun, and he felt so excluded. They were laughing at something, and honestly he wasn't so keen on knowing what it was this time.

"Well it's done now. Your _boyfriend_ was happy to hear from you," Naruto said and this time, annoyance escaped into his tone. Sakura turned to him with her facial muscles oddly tight.

"Thanks," she only said and then got back to what she had been doing.

As he pushed the phone away he felt repulsed and angry, but when her laughter carried to his ears again, he tried to erase all his previous thoughts by closing his eyes.

And he opened them only to see Sakura holding some dough on her finger, draping it over Kankuro who casually licked it off in passing. For reason or another, the earlier sick feeling came back to Naruto, but this time it was ten times worse.

His silent sadness was interrupted when he noticed Kankuro staring at him interestedly. Naruto raised his brow in a questioning manner, and then the brunette's smile widened to full maximum.

"Is that shirt new?" Kankuro asked politely.

"Well, no…" Naruto said and looked at his timeworn orange shirt.

"That color really suits you," the brunette complimented and winked.

"Uh… really? T-Thank you," the blond stuttered in confusion.

Familiar nervousness bubbled inside him, as he once again had no idea how to interpret that gesture. Before he could detect any answer from the man's facial expression, Kankuro turned away to Sakura instead.

"This summer we've got the sweetest strawberries we've ever had," Kankuro said to her and dusted some flour off her shoulder in passing.

"Oh really?" she was instantly interested. "Do you have any in the fridge?"

"Hmm… I don't think so, sorry," Kankuro said. "Someone would have to go pick them up in the garden, I guess."

Sakura's shoulders slumped and she looked so disappointed. Even her perky ponytail seemed flatter than before.

"I can go get them for you," Naruto promised and instantly her dark aura lighted up.

Her delighted thank you was enough reward for him, he decided, and as he made his way into the garden, he was actually thankful of getting a short escape from being around them.

When he had gone through the whole field in order to find the best ones for her, he now had a bowl full of exquisite, top notch strawberries. In the kitchen, Kankuro accepted the bowl with a warm smile that made something quiver in Naruto's heart.

"Have a strawberry," the brunette said to Sakura, whose hands were covered in dough.

"I'm in the middle of something right now," she said and gestured towards her hands.

"Let me help you," Kankuro said sweetly and put one of Naruto's carefully selected strawberries into her mouth.

"Oh, these are…" she trailed off and closed her eyes and all her movement stilled for a moment. Kankuro chuckled at her reaction, and in the background Naruto felt like disappearing again.

After the pie was baked and all four of them had gathered together to enjoy it, they had settled into the living room to play board games. After three rounds of a board game requiring little to no skill but plenty of luck instead, Naruto was getting sure something was going on.

Gaara had not looked at him even by accident ever since he had joined their company. Even though it was something probably trivial, Naruto couldn't help but get annoyed by it. By now, he had gotten used to the borderline obsessive way those aquamarine orbs studied him in secret, or sometimes, in a very open manner.

Besides that, Naruto was getting secretly frustrated by the way Gaara kept on eating Sakura's pawns away. At first he hadn't noticed it, but when the redhead had gotten many chances of making someone else's game much harder, he hadn't done so for a reason or another.

During the course of the evening, Sakura managed to steal a moment alone with Naruto. Her dark green eyes had that look again, a look which she had whenever she was about to meddle into something she'd better not to.

"What," Naruto sighed, and the glint in her eyes got stronger.

"What's going on?" she whispered.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" Naruto said back with narrowed eyes.

Her brow furrowed at that and almost instinctively, she clenched her fist by her side. "And what are you implying with that?"

"Isn't it obvious?" the blond replied once again with a question. "Don't you think you're acting a bit too familiar around Kankuro?"

She grabbed his shirt in her angry fist, and in that moment Naruto knew better than well that maybe now had not been the best time to voice out his observations.

"Stop implying things like that. Someone might get the wrong impression if they overheard you talking so carelessly," she said calmly, yet her grip was threateningly tight. "And don't you dare mention those delusions of yours to anybody, got it?" And now her voice was threatening as well.

With the way she stared down at him, he had no doubt Sakura could be able to castrate him with her bare hands if she wanted to. And if he remembered correctly, more than once she had promised to carry out such threat. In a scared manner, Naruto gulped and then nodded feebly in defeat. Given how her grip eventually loosened, his silent obedience seemed to calm her down.

"Now," she began with a curious voice and cracked her knuckles. "What's going on with you and Gaara?"

"Nothing is going on as far as I'm concerned," Naruto replied and glanced around to find an escape from the conversation.

But then she touched his arm and got his immediate attention. "There's definitely something wrong with him. Haven't you noticed?"

With slumped shoulders, Naruto tried to curl up into himself like a turtle. "He's like that all the time."

"Maybe you should talk to him?" she suggested.

"Why? Why me?" the blond whined, glancing around again in hopes of finding something to excuse himself with. "Besides, he won't open up to me. It feels like I'm the last person he wants to be around with."

"Hmm, I don't think that's true," Sakura pondered. "You should talk to him."

"No," Naruto refused and broke free from her touch. Quickly, he went to look for Kankuro to ask if there was anything he could help him with.

Later on, they were all settled on the couch to watch a movie. Naruto was in a bad mood but he tried his best to let no one know about it. What Sakura had said kept on bugging him and annoying him to the point it was all he could concentrate on. Even the fact that Gaara had stolen a seat next to her, thus leaving Naruto no other option but to have a seat between Gaara and the armrest of the couch, didn't bother him.

Gaara and his fluctuating moods! Naruto huffed by himself in frustration.

He was momentarily dragged out of his sore thoughts as Gaara handed him a small bowl of licorice fish, his favorite kind of candy. Surprised by the gesture (and by the fact that he didn't remember anyone purchasing these snacks), he smiled briefly at the redhead, who once again refused to look at him.

In the end of the evening Naruto helped Kankuro clean up the table. Gaara had disappeared into somewhere, probably into his room sometime ago, no surprise there. Sakura was down in the basement floor taking a shower and getting ready for bed. Or for couch, in her case.

"You know what, Naruto?" Kankuro said suddenly as he was putting the dirty plates into the sink.

The blond stopped what he was doing and waited for the man to continue their one-sided conversation. The moment Kankuro noticed his secret stare, Naruto lowered his face and studied his socks instead.

"I'm a little worried about Gaara. He's been pretty down lately," the brunette told.

Of course, Naruto had made the same notion as the caring older brother but even so, he chose not to speak his mind. And it didn't escape his notion that Kankuro was once again wearing that well-fitting shirt that hugged his admirable physique in all the right places.

"But he's different around you. Have you noticed that?"

No, Naruto hadn't noticed any of the sorts. The face of an angry Gaara yelling at him and mistaking his protection instinct for something completely ridiculous, came back to his mind. If being grumpy and annoyed meant 'different', then yes, he knew what they were talking about.

"You could talk to him, you know?" Kankuro suggested very kindly.

"About what?" Naruto asked and kept on staring at the man's chest.

"Well… you know," Kankuro said and managed not to enlighten the idea at all. "I just have a feeling it would be a good idea."

To Naruto it didn't sound like a good idea at all. But when he had worn out that spot on the man's chest with his eyes, he lifted his gaze only to see that those onyx eyes were already looking at him in a hopelessly sorrowful way.

And Naruto couldn't say no to that tilted face and those pleading eyes, and before any readable emotion could cross his own face, he quickly strode past him with a muttered approval.

He hurried out of the situation, almost running the steps upstairs. In his mind he thought about hiding into his own room first for undefined amount of time, but for some reason his feet refused take him there. Instead he found himself standing in front of Gaara's door, just like he had promised Kankuro.

For reasons unknown his chest hurt and his head was a carousel where thoughts more anxious after another revolved repeatedly. Shyly he knocked on the wooden door and the lack of reply he got didn't surprise him at all.

"Gaara?" No reply. "I want to talk to you."

Just as he was about to turn around and go into his own room after all, the door clicked open and a serious pale face stared at him through the crack.

"Can I come in?" Naruto asked kindly.

For an answer, the redhead only stepped away from the door, allowing Naruto to come in if he wished.

Cautiously, the blond crossed the threshold and closed the door behind him. He had never been in Gaara's room before. To notice the orderliness and overall tidiness of the place didn't really astonish him. The second thing he noticed was the numerous shelves on the walls. Plenty of cacti and other desert plants were neatly placed there pot after pot.

And the flytrap he had given him sat on the table in a comfortable beam of evening's sunlight.

Gaara lay on the bed, hands behind his head. Unlike earlier today, now his pale green eyes were keenly on Naruto again, and when the blond stepped closer to him, the eyes followed his every move. The atmosphere felt heavy, and suddenly the blond forgot all his earlier ideas of how to open a conversation. An option of leaving the room popped up into his mind but he disregarded the idea after a while.

Just to ease out his anxiousness, he took a book from the bookshelf. After gathering enough confidence he finally dared to sit down on the foot of the bed, careful at not touching the redhead in any way. He was aware of how close Gaara's feet were, and without exaggeration he could say he was able to sense the guy's body heat.

Even before, he had noticed the redhead's ankles. They were slender and bony and overall enchanting. And as they now lay close to him like that, he wondered what it would feel like to peel off those socks and trace his fingers across the hard bony knobs that were his ankle joints. Before his notions could continue further, he adjusted himself into a more comfortable position and opened the book randomly somewhere in the middle.

"Lap belt. A seat belt fastening across the lap of a driver or a passenger. Lapboard. A thin, flat board to be held on the lap for use as a table or writing surface. Lap dance. An erotic d―"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm reading," Naruto replied.

"It's a dictionary," Gaara pointed out with a blank look.

To that, Naruto only shrugged. He flipped the book over and inspected the back cover as if he was reading a review printed in there. "Excellent vocabulary but no plot whatsoever. Four stars out of five by Konoha Times."

A quiet hum resulted, a sound which could've as easily been a rustle of bedclothes or Gaara letting out a snort.

"What are you doing in my room?" Gaara finally asked, as the blond kept on paging the book.

Naruto pursed his lips deep in thought as he inspected the thinness of the pages. "You come into my room all the time and I never demand any explanation for it."

As no counter argument ensued, the blond assumed the case was closed. With the book on his lap, he glanced into the distance before speaking up his mind.

"So… you have desert plants here in your room."

"They wouldn't survive outside. Not in this climate anyway," Gaara replied and briefly glanced at the pots.

Naruto nodded and pursed his lips again, then hummed an off-tune melody for some time. "Why did you keep on eating Sakura's pawns?"

The question seemed to take the redhead by surprise. "I didn't know you noticed."

"Well… I also noticed you kept on saving mine. I didn't know we were a team on that game board," Naruto said.

"Maybe we were, maybe we weren't," the redhead said flatly and closed his eyes.

Naruto considered the sight for a moment, letting his gaze drop from the blackened eyelids to the smooth cheek bones, until it finally stopped at the slightly parted lips. "Did you buy the licorice fish? I think you did. Thanks, I appreciate it."

Only a barely noticeable twitch on Gaara's lips was his answer, an answer he would have surely missed if he hadn't been so keenly staring at that particular part of his face. But then the jade eyes opened and caught Naruto staring at him.

The blond's initial reaction was to grin, so he did just that and then dropped the book to the floor with a thud. Gaara rolled his eyes at him but didn't bother saying anything to point out his disagreement of how to handle his books. Naruto lay down next to his friend, forgetting all about the book that now rested lazily somewhere out of sight.

"Did you enjoy spending time with her?" Gaara asked as he kept on staring at him.

Naruto's face dropped and he lowered his gaze. "Y-Yeah. It was pretty fun."

"Did something happen?" Gaara asked as he noticed the sudden change of mood.

Naruto sighed and wondered if he should keep his mouth shut or tell what was on his heart. The angry face of Sakura returned to his mind, and he felt like retreating into his shell once again. Sasuke's hurtful words made the knot in his stomach burn, and a part of him feared Gaara would find the origin of his hated nickname funny.

"Are you alright?" Gaara asked and touched his upper arm.

Naruto started but soon relaxed as his friend kept on stroking his arm. "It's just a stupid thing, really."

A light squeeze on his upper arm was the only reply he got. The blond gulped and continued, "She asked me to do a friendly favor, that I texted her boyfriend while she was busy with baking the pie."

"Why would she ask you to do something like that?" Gaara asked and furrowed his nonexistent brows in confusion.

"Well I sometimes help her, when she's busy and needs my help," Naruto explained and started to fiddle the strings of Gaara's hoodie. "Anyway… Her boyfriend's texts brought back something I'd rather forget. And it hurt, and I couldn't tell her or anyone, and I couldn't say no either."

Gaara pulled him against his chest and smoothed his back with slow strokes. His heartbeat was steady and calming. "What was there?"

"Well…" the blond began and sighed. He felt safe now and all kind of warm, comforting feelings started to melt the earlier knot away. "I… I didn't know he still calls me by that stupid nickname he made up for me in high school. It was a stupid thing back then, a prank they pulled on me, and I thought that everyone had already forgotten about it."

Fingers on his scalp massaged the back of his head, relieving the tension that had slithered back into his form along with the memories. Shyly, Naruto entwined his arm around his friend's waist and listened to his heartbeat.

"They had a little sack, you know, which had three holes – two for the eyes and one for the mouth. And they used to put in on their head and lunge at me behind the corners. And then one time I was walking along a darkened corridor at school, on my way to the restroom, when they jumped in front of me from the shadows and I… I screamed and I think I cried, too, but what was the worst, I pissed in my pants."

Gaara squeezed him and ruffled his blond hair in a comforting way. Naruto choked back an unwanted sob and pressed his face tighter against his friend's chest.

"And ever since everyone called me Piss-Pants, and it was humiliating."

"People are the worst," Gaara whispered as he noticed the blond's breathing turn into more erratic. "You're safe now. No one is going to hurt you."

"Why couldn't you be there with me at school? Everything would've been a hundred times better," Naruto said and tried to calm down his panicked breaths.

"I'm here for you now," Gaara replied calmly. "Everything is alright now."

"You know what?" Naruto asked after a while and broke free from the comforting hug. "Earlier today, I kind of missed you when you weren't around."

For some reason, Gaara looked slightly sad and only ruffled the blond hair for an answer.

"Yeah that's true. I missed your grumpiness and your frustratingly stubborn silence," Naruto grinned and stuck his tongue out at him in an attempt to lighten up the mood.

Gaara snorted and then smirked, but soon his expression melted into something softer.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you in the car," the redhead said. "I regret it."

"Nevermind about that," Naruto assured. "I'm sorry, too."

But Gaara only shook his head. "Don't be. It's just the way you are. You were only trying to keep us safe, and I appreciate your good intention."

"Sometimes I guess I just get carried away a bit too much. Now that I think about it, I was acting a bit silly," Naruto admitted as he once again fiddled the strings of Gaara's hoodie.

The hand in his hair slid to his neck, and then to his jawline. The redhead's thumb held his chin for a moment, until it started to trace the underside of his lower lip from side to side. It stopped in the middle, gently pulling Naruto's mouth open.

"You have good teeth," Gaara commented and let go.

The memory of his odd touch still lingered on Naruto's face, as he kept on staring into those awake, aquamarine eyes. A part of him had expected him to start tracing his teeth, too, or something equally unexpected, but right then the contact had ended. Naruto wasn't sure what he should think about it all.

"Well, your teeth are so white," the blond finally said like nothing out of ordinary had just happened. "They're like summer clouds or the color of an eyeball."

Just to prove his point, he shyly touched his friend's lower lip with his finger and out of surprise, the redhead's mouth opened. Naruto traced his fingertip along the row of white, straight teeth. A sharp crown captured his attention for a tad longer and he pressed his finger against it.

Gaara's tongue brushed against his curious finger, and suddenly Naruto pulled away his hand. For reason unclear, he started to feel ashamed. He lowered his gaze and then closed his eyes altogether, but a hand on his hip brought him immediately back into the room.

Jade eyes studied him with some reserve, as the redhead's hand rested on the line where Naruto's jeans ended and the hem of his shirt began. That light caress of Gaara's could as well be a gesture meant as comforting, or an attempt to lift up his shirt.

Naruto blushed at the thought. Certainly there was no possibility for that. His imagination was just running unnecessary wild again.

Just to distract himself from his stupid thoughts, Naruto noticed the metallic puller of the zipper on his friend's hoodie. He pulled it up and then down a few inches, and continued to do so repeatedly. The light buzz of the zipper's teeth as they closed and then opened, was the most interesting sound in the world.

And he was sure he would've continued it for forever, unless Gaara's hand hadn't accidentally touched the skin on his side, which was somehow come uncovered. Naruto stopped all movement and looked into the serious depths of his friend's eyes.

"Gaara…" Naruto whispered and felt his cheeks getting hot. The hand on his skin slid upwards, passing a ticklish spot that made Naruto startle.

The hand stopped and found the spot again, at first tickling him lightly but soon attacking him more determinedly when he started to squirm and then laugh uncontrollably.

"S-Stop, haha, you're – hah – making me―" Naruto laughed out of breath and tried to push the redhead away in a half-serious manner.

But Gaara only smiled at him slightly, taking obvious joy out of the blond's unrestrained gasps of laughter. When Naruto's fingers eventually found a similar spot on the redhead's side, Gaara gasped and was forced to stop tormenting his friend.

"I've never really heard you laugh," Naruto said innocently as he tickled his friend, who in turn tried to shield himself from the quicker than quick hands.

"Naru― haah – s-stop, a-haha."

"You have a nice laughter," the blond said with a sly smile as Gaara squirmed and laughed, however restrainedly. "You should laugh more often," he added but right then, the redhead managed to capture his wrists.

Naruto let out a good-hearted laugh and gave up. The faint, almost unnoticeable blush on the pale face caught his attention, as well as the quickened way the redhead breathed. Suddenly Naruto felt weird again and he yanked his hands free.

"You don't sound horrible when you laugh. You should definitely do it more often," the blond repeated his opinion, just to fill the awkward silence in the room.

"If you tickle me again, I promise it'll be the end of you," Gaara replied in a tired, out-of-breath way.

"Hah, it was you who started it," the blond pointed out defiantly.

"You were acting so gloomy and sad. I had to brighten you up," the redhead explained and averted his gaze suddenly.

"Really?" the blond asked and narrowed his eyes. He thought of giving a quick tickle to his friend just to hear him laugh again, but right then the jade eyes turned to look into his blue ones, and the strange feeling from before returned.

"Maybe…" Naruto started and the pale hand came to rest on his hip again. As if anticipating an unexpected tickle, Naruto let out an airy laugh and seized Gaara's wrist. For an answer, the redhead only squeezed his hip. "Maybe I should go."

Knock, knock. "Gaara?"

It was Kankuro behind the door. Naruto paled as his earlier discomfort returned to his mind. Gaara didn't seem to notice his confusion, as he slowly got up from the bed and walked to the door. Not wanting to be seen on the redhead's bed, Naruto got up, too, and leaned against the wall on a spot not visible to the door.

Silently, Gaara opened the door only as much as was absolutely necessary.

"Are you okay?" the worried big brother asked.

A casual shrug was his answer.

"Did you talk with Naruto?" Kankuro asked, seemingly accustomed to his little brother's nonverbal way of communicating.

Gaara nodded slowly.

"Oh, that's good." There was a relieved tone in Kankuro's voice before it turned into grimmer. "I'm worried about you. Ever since he moved in here I thought you were doing better but recently it feels like it has started all over again."

"That's none of your concern," Gaara said quickly, about to close the door. But Kankuro held it open.

"It is my concern. Ever since last week I've been thinking that maybe you should go to live with Temari for a while. At least until you'll get better?" Even though the brunette made it sound like a suggestion, his tone of voice left no room for arguments.

"I'm not going there," Gaara said flatly and tried to close the door again.

"It would be for your own good," Kankuro pointed out and the slight tension in his voice told Naruto that the man was losing his patience piece by piece. "And I couldn't live with myself if I one day came home and found you…" he trailed off, his voice cracking a bit in the end.

"Goodnight," Gaara quipped but failed to close the door once again. As he realized his defeat, he sighed and leaned his head against the doorframe.

"Why can't you see that I'm on your side?" Kankuro asked suddenly with frustration that suggested he had asked the same thing over and over again before, without ever getting a satisfactory answer.

"On _my_ side? You were the perfect son with a halo over your head," Gaara said with accusation in his voice.

"That's not true," Kankuro pointed out, clearly hurt. As he got no answer, he continued. "My role wasn't any easier than anyone else's. You're my brother, and I have always been on your side. _We_ are the same."

"We aren't," Gaara said coldly and didn't try to close the door anymore. Instead, he opened it slightly more, as if to see better the pain that had to be on his brother's face. "And Temari can't stop me. You know it."

An eerie silence followed the poisonous words. As Naruto followed the brothers' conversation from his hiding spot, he didn't even dare to breathe as the silence continued.

"Gaara… there _are_ people who love you. People who are _alive_ ," Kankuro whispered, his voice tired and strained.

"The only person I care to be alive is not," Gaara hissed cruelly.

It took four full seconds until Kankuro's desperation broke the pent-up silence.

"Why do you have to be so difficult, Gaara?" And now the older brother sounded exasperated. "I only want the best for you."

"Leave me alone," the redhead said none too kindly.

"You know that's not going to happen. Not when you do this to yourself," Kankuro said angrily and grabbed the redhead's gauze-covered wrist.

"You're not my mother," Gaara quipped and yanked his hand free.

"No, I'm not. But I love you even more than she ever did. Why can't you see that?" Kankuro whispered with genuine pain in his voice. "And I'm sure Naruto cares for you too. I wonder what he'd say if he knew―"

"I'm sorry," Gaara suddenly interrupted his brother and succeeded in quieting him up. Naruto could almost hear the question mark in Kankuro's surprise, after the redhead had let out his unexpected apology. "You're right. I was wrong. Goodnight."

"Are you just saying that to―"

But right then Gaara slammed the door shut. After a moment, Kankuro's unhurried steps quieted towards the end of the corridor until the creaking of the stairs indicated he had gone back downstairs.

Naruto stared at his friend, who suddenly refused to meet his gaze. He walked to him but the guy acted like he wasn't even there.

"What the hell was that?" the blond asked. "What was he talking about? And don't say it's none of my concern."

"Ignore everything he said," Gaara whispered eventually but made no move to any direction.

But Naruto wasn't good at giving up, not like this. Cautiously, he stepped one step closer and stared at his friend. "What happened last week, and why would you move to your sister's place?"

"Nothing happened, and I'm not moving anywhere," Gaara denied, expression like stone.

But Naruto didn't back away. "He made it sound like you were hurting yourself on purpose. That you were trying to kill yourself."

"Forget about what he said," Gaara commanded harshly.

Naruto ignored the tone. "Is that true? I need to know."

When he got no reply he got slightly frustrated. "What happened at the lake _was_ an accident, wasn't it? Or did you really..." he trailed off, as his voice suddenly vanished away. But his emotions didn't seem to cause any reaction in his friend, who leaned against the door unmoving, with his face hard like stone.

"Gaara…"

Judging by the way Gaara stared at him so impassively Naruto was once again starting to wonder if there was an actual mask on his face after all. As the seconds hurried by in deafening, charged silence, he was sure he heard the slow clicks of a lock in Gaara's heart, as the guy turned an imaginary key and shut himself off.

"Don't want to talk about it? Fine," Naruto said, defiant and all but ready to give up. With a casual shrug, he claimed the seat in front of Gaara's desk and sat down on it. Absentmindedly, he drummed his fingers against the wooden surface and glanced around. His friend remained standing by the door, stoic as ever.

"I want to talk. You don't have to, if you don't want to, but you can't stop me from doing so," Naruto said and gave a challenging glance at the redhead, who seemed to give no regard whatsoever to his words.

"I can recite every little mind-numbing and mind- _dumbing_ thing my insufferable co-worker Ino blabs about her love life at me at every possible turn. I can sing every song I know in a conversational way, which sounds like I am really just commentating the music. And I can read that boulder of a dictionary from A to a fucking Z with four different dialects, with only slight breaks in order to go to the bathroom or to drink water. And no, you can't have the book read in your favorite dialect, because I want to keep it interesting and change the accents at random," Naruto said and sounded out of breath after his long monologue.

There was still no detectable emotion on his friend's face.

"You really want to dare me?" Naruto asked and rolled up his sleeves like he was about to get to work. With a determined sigh, he picked up the heavy dictionary and opened it in the beginning. With a dark look at Gaara, he spoke. "There are twenty-two definitions for 'A' alone. After that, there's three definitions for double-A. Sounds like something you want to hear about all night, doesn't it?"

Gaara's lip twitched but the gesture was so slight it could've been an illusion as well.

"Well, here goes," Naruto said with a different accent, and cleared his throat again. "A, a. A's or As, a's or as. The first letter of the―"

"Alright." Gaara interrupted suddenly, and the exasperation in his voice was like a victory to Naruto, who grinned boisterously. "But you only won because you're incredibly annoying."

"I'm aware of that," the blond laughed, content with himself and his absurd plan.

With a defeated sigh, Gaara glanced at him darkly before sitting down on the bed. He ran a hand down his face once, and then let his hands rest on his lap lazily. The gauze covering his wrists looked worn, like it had been in heavy use. The bandages vanished into the guy's sleeves, and Naruto wondered how high up they actually went.

Over the past weeks, Naruto had noticed the gauze become a permanent part of the redhead's attire, yet every time he had tried to show any curiosity about it, he was quickly shot down.

"It's true," Gaara started quietly and stared at his socks. "I've actually tried to kill myself."

"What?" Naruto exclaimed, shocked. "Why would you do something like that?"

The redhead shrugged. "I don't want to be here. And life has no meaning, really, when you think about it."

"What?" the blond repeated, still in shock, and sat down next to his friend. He gripped the redhead's shoulders and shook him lightly. "What are you talking about, Gaara?"

Finally Gaara met his gaze. He was calm and collected, like what he had just confessed meant nothing to him on an emotional level. "I didn't expect you to understand."

Naruto squeezed his shoulders. His stomach was cold like a bucket full of icy water. "You're right. Maybe I don't understand. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why would I? You would've only tried to stop me," Gaara replied in an oddly calm way.

"Yes, of course I would've," Naruto said back in bewilderment. He stared at his friend in shock for some time, wondering what version of reality had nested inside his friend's head. Clearly it was not the one Naruto was seeing. "You need help."

"I don't," the redhead denied easily.

"You do. And I'm going to help you through this, alright?" the blond promised.

Gaara glanced at him in a spiritless way. "You have your own problems to deal with. You don't need mine."

"Nonsense," the blond said pulled his friend closer. "You're my friend, and what are friends for if not for moments like this? Besides, you've been there for me when I've dealt with my stuff. Now I want to do the same for you. Because if I didn't have you…" he trailed off. "Please…"

"Naruto…" the redhead sighed and looked at the sorrowful blond next to him. He wasn't able to hold his gaze longer than a moment, and then he was studying his socks again. "I just can't make you give up, can I?"

"Nope," the blond said and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

Gaara glanced at him darkly and shook his head in disbelief. He fiddled the rim of the gauze for a moment until he started to speak.

"My childhood wasn't really easy time for me. Or my adolescence."

"Oh. What happened?" Naruto asked with compassion.

"I didn't really get along with my family. Mother was the only one I connected with, but she died when I was eleven," the redhead told quietly.

"I'm sorry to hear that," the blond comforted and caressed his friend's back with slow strokes. "What about your brother?"

Gaara huffed. "He was a good son with a capital G. Father took him everywhere with him, and with their alike looks, they were like copies of one another."

Naruto nodded and kept on caressing the redhead's back. "I take it you didn't get along so well with your dad, then?"

"Yeah," Gaara whispered darkly and clenched his fists. "I didn't. I was the wrong kind, something he was ashamed to call his son."

"You really mean that?" the blond asked in shock.

Gaara gave him a dark look, and in that fleeting moment all his hatred from the years back was somehow present in his cool, jade eyes. "He wished I had gone away instead of Mother. And I wish so, too."

Something squeezed Naruto's heart into small, shaking blob. In the same way, Naruto hugged his friend and hoped his compassion would that way transfer into the redhead's soul and warm up his heart.

"But your brother seems to really care about you. I don't think he shares the mindset of your dad," the blond said finally as he retreated from the embrace.

"It doesn't matter," Gaara replied. "Like Temari, he doesn't understand me. And I'm just a burden to him."

"I don't think that's true," the blond whispered and gulped down a lump in his throat. "You could never be a burden. He cares about you. I care about you."

Gaara looked at him with cautiousness. "You have your friends, and your job. You don't need me."

Naruto let out a sobby laugh and sighed. "I need you. And I can't let you go to the other side."

When the redhead only gave him a cautious glance, the blond smiled at him in a sorrowful way in return.

"I think you're a stone right now, aren't you? And I want to be a fish for you. I'm going to lift you up from the bottom," Naruto said determinedly.

"A licorice fish," Gaara whispered. "They melt underwater." And now, there was a challenging glint in the jade eyes.

So the redhead seemed to be capable of irrational conversations, too. The notion delighted Naruto, and in a moment like this he truly felt like they had a language of their own.

"If I'm destined to melt, then I will surround you with sugary sweetness even if it's the last thing I'll do," the blond said. He boosted his words with a sweet smile that got a tiny response from the redhead.

"You don't need to do this," Gaara said tiredly.

"I want to do this. And you can't stop me from trying," Naruto replied.

Gaara inspected his fingernails but the unfocused look in his eyes told Naruto that the guy was deep in thought. He remembered how comforting it had been to have his hair stroked by Gaara when he had been in mental misbalance. Surely the redhead wouldn't be any different, and confidently Naruto moved a lock of red hair behind Gaara's ear.

The jade eyes' serious gaze was on him faster than he could say 'A' in any imaginable dialect. Instantly Naruto pulled away his hand and placed it on his lap, restraining it with his other hand just to let the guy see that he was not going to repeat the action.

As Naruto's uneasy half-smile melted into a look of worry, Gaara's expression softened. He seemed to be back in this room, back in this moment, and the longer his eyes rested on Naruto, the more relaxed he seemed to get.

"You're a good person, Naruto," he said and stood up. "You better go to your room. It's getting late."

"No," the blond said and again the questioning jade eyes were on him in a manner which got less and less uncomfortable with each passing week. "I stay with you."

"What makes you think that's necessary? Or that I'd want you here?" There was no sugarcoating in the redhead's words and it made Naruto smile a little.

"There's no way I'll leave you alone after I found out you're suicidal. Nope, you're stuck with me from now on," the blond said with determination.

But Gaara only offered him a non-believing stare which told him not to test his patience. To that, Naruto stuck out his tongue and fluffed the flat pillows on the bed. "Wanted it or not, I'm sticking with you. At least until you're feeling better. I'll be like your shadow."

"There's no need for that. Kankuro's already doing that. I know he goes through my stuff when I'm not here," Gaara knew and went through some papers that lay on the desk as if looking for fingerprints.

"Your brother cares for you. He really does," Naruto pointed out. "And I'm sure he tries his best to reach out for you."

"He's not very good at that," the redhead said quickly and tossed the papers away.

"Well you're not the easiest person to get close to," the blond knew. "And added to that, you're stubborn."

"I am not."

"See?"

An old shirt was tossed right at Naruto's face. With a grin, he threw the shirt to the floor and only chuckled knowingly.

Some minutes before midnight, the two of them were lying on Gaara's bed, sharing a blanket. No matter that Naruto never slept with his jeans on, now he refused to take them off. That one night in the closet, when they had shared the mattress, this kind of closeness had felt way less awkward than it now did. It had to be because of the shared blanket, Naruto concluded, and longed for the separate cocoons they had had back then.

They had brushed their teeth together, a chore that had felt instantly natural yet the spit and foam in the sink had somewhat disgusted him. It was necessary for them to be joined by the hip like this, Naruto had explained, for he was worried sick that the depressed redhead would somehow manage to slip away from this world if he wasn't there to constantly watch him. Only when Gaara had started to unzip his jeans in the bathroom with a pointed stare towards Naruto's direction, had the blond understood that they really didn't need to share all the moments imaginable.

"You're turning my room into a mess. I don't like it," Gaara whined quietly into the night.

Naruto glanced at his friend. "Your eyes are closed. You can't even see anything."

"But I can feel the disarray," the redhead complained and sighed.

The blond shrugged, and in the darkened room he glanced around to see that his friend had a point indeed. Not only was the open dictionary placed on the chair haphazardly, but the old shirt of Gaara's was also thrown across the floor in a carefree manner. Next to it were Naruto's socks, far apart like they were in mid-run.

"Maybe you're right," the blond admitted and closed his eyes. "But try to sleep now. Your resemblance to a raccoon gets clearer every passing day."

He was sure a remark of some sort would have ensued, yet nothing came even after a long while. Only the soft breaths coming from Gaara's side of the bed filled the air, and feeling safer than in a long time, Naruto too let his eyes close.

* * *

It had to be early judging by the grey hues that were slowly eating away the darkness of the night. With a yawn, Naruto stretched his arms and only then realized the spot next to him was vacant.

Like he didn't believe his eyes, he patted the mattress just to make sure there was nothing there. It was still warm, so Gaara hadn't left very long ago.

Deciding that the guy had most likely gone to the bathroom and that the situation didn't probably require full-blown panic (at least not yet), Naruto slumped back to the bed and pulled the blanket all the way to his chin.

When he was already drowsing, the door opened and Gaara walked in quietly with a small tray. It was the rich aroma of coffee that opened up Naruto's eyes to a full maximum, and like a balloon he rose up from the bottom of the bed.

"You brought breakfast for us?" Naruto stated the obvious.

"I was getting hungry. And I didn't want to wake up the others yet," Gaara explained and right then his stomach grumbled.

"Well it's good that you've got appetite. For weeks I've watched you move food around your plate like you were trying to make it vanish by wearing it out," Naruto said and accepted the triangular sandwich his friend draped at him.

"Oops," the blond said sheepishly as crumbs of bread scattered on the bed by accident. With his best puppy eyes he looked at the neat-freak sitting across, yet this time he could not see any real anger on Gaara's face. Instead, the guy only shook his head as if he'd been expecting something like this to happen.

They ate breakfast in silence, letting the power of caffeine slowly drag them out of their sleep-infused state. There was a small bowl of strawberries on the tray. Each pseudofruit looked perfect and juicy, and carefully Naruto took one between his fingers. It was cold.

Once again he took notice of the ever-thinning form of his friend. Gaara needed desperately to adopt healthier eating habits. Very cautiously, Naruto pushed the strawberry in between his friend's lips, and the way Gaara's lips quivered upon realizing the coldness of the treat didn't escape Naruto's observation.

As Gaara pulled the strawberry into his mouth with his lips and teeth and tongue, his soft, cold lips accidentally touched Naruto's fingertips. Before the blond could study that notion any further, he was captivated by the redhead's facial expressions once again. As Gaara chewed the pseudofruit, its fridge-cold core surprised him and a small gasp escaped from between his slightly trembling lips.

Just as the redhead had gulped down the first treat, Naruto placed another strawberry on his lips, not wasting a second as he pushed it into his mouth. And in the same manner as before, Gaara reacted to the chilliness of the juicy treats, and Naruto devoured each and every detail he could get out of the sight.

After this had repeated five or six times, Gaara suddenly turned his head away, refusing the offered treat.

"S-Stop. It's too much," he whispered and gulped. But as Naruto didn't pull away his hand that held the delicious strawberry close to his friend's lips, Gaara grabbed his wrist tightly and stared daggers at him.

Ever so gracefully, the redhead reached the pseudofruit with his lips and took it into his mouth. And the way his lips went over Naruto's fingertips in the process was definitely not an accident. After that, the redhead released the blond's wrists with a stern look.

"And don't you dare to wipe your fingers on my sheets," Gaara warned.

Dumbfounded, Naruto's hand hovered in the air before he pulled it away and glanced at his fingertips. Hastily, he wiped them on his shirt, not bothering to check if any red stains were now visible on the white material.

Naruto cleared his throat. "I'm just worried about you. I want to make sure you eat enough."

After the breakfast was eaten, Gaara took the empty tray to the desk. Crumbs of bread were spattered on the bed and the floor next to it, thanks to Naruto. But for some reason the redhead seemed to forgive the mess, at least this time.

"What happened last week?" Naruto dared to ask again.

Gaara looked at him reservedly, yet the blond's question didn't seem to eat away his composure.

"Kankuro found me in my room. I thought he was at work but he had a day off, after all," Gaara explained with a calm voice. It was like no emotion was attached to him as he recited the past. "He freaked out when he found out about my bottle of liquor and the sleeping pills I had been hiding from him."

"W-What?" Naruto exclaimed as his jaw dropped.

But Gaara only looked at him calmly. "He confiscated them. And ever since he's been tailing me like a shadow."

"Of course he would," Naruto said and could clearly understand the big brother's motives. "Are you crazy?"

"Not any crazier than anybody else in this house," was the redhead's reply.

Wordlessly, Naruto grabbed Gaara's shoulders and shook him, as if sense would return into him in that way. Then he pulled him into an embrace and squeezed him tightly, like he was anchoring him into this world, into him.

In a way, he could see where the redhead was coming from. Dark moods were no unfamiliar to him and certainly ideas of suicide had visited his mind in his most desperate days. But to actually go as far as to attempt killing himself had never been a serious option for him. He squeezed his friend a little tighter and let out a wavering sigh.

"I don't want to lose you," he said and his voice was dangerously close to a sob. "I've lost so many already. My parents… My foster-father… I couldn't save them, and it hurts even after all these years. But I want to save you."

And by now Naruto was definitely sobbing, and with shame he knew his tears were wetting not only his own cheeks but the redhead's shirt, too.

Gaara patted him on the back, and his warm hand remained on his shoulder blades after that, feeling hot like mid-day's sun.

"You're a good person, Naruto."

"But what if it isn't enough?"

Silence was his only answer. And then Gaara patted him on the back again in an unhurried fashion. "What happened to your parents?"

Naruto pulled away from the embrace and wiped his wet face on the blanket. "Well… My dad had a seemingly harmless medical operation which was a success in itself, yet the malpractice that followed led to his preliminary death when I was seven. Two years after that, my mom committed suicide."

"Why do you think she did it?" Gaara asked calmly.

Naruto sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, his voice was just above a whisper. "She left me to figure it out by myself. But as far as I know, she didn't have the energy to take care of herself, not to mention the both of us. She tried, though. But then she got tired of trying."

"I see," the redhead said quietly. "What happened after that?"

"Our family friend Iruka adopted me. When I was seventeen, I lost him to a sudden apoplexy."

In the brink of being a legal adult, Naruto had already left behind the stormy years that teenage had put him through. But to lose the last safe adult in his life had broken something in him, and for the years that had followed he had been drifting around, trying to find a place he would feel home at.

That search had led him from a relationship to another, and to this day he had lived in so many places that the fingers of his two hands would not be enough to count them all. It wasn't due to lack of trying, but nevertheless he had remained without any proper education. If Sakura hadn't gotten him a job at the bookstore, he would've surely ended up penniless and homeless at some point.

Only when he had moved in here, under the same roof with strangely familiar Gaara and his anxiety-rousing, yet very handsome older brother, he had felt home at long last.

Gaara pulled him back into an embrace and slowly caressed his tensed back. "I feel sorry for you."

"Don't. I don't want your pity," Naruto whispered. "Long ago I've come into terms with the past. It's something I cannot change. But I can affect the future, and I can affect your life. I don't want to lose you, too, Gaara."

The pale arms around him squeezed him tighter. "Why do you care so much?"

"How could I not? You're my f-friend," the blond stammered. "And you speak my language, Gaara," he said and pressed himself against his cherished friend. "It's a language not many know."

"Naruto…" the redhead whispered soothingly, and patted him on the back.

But when the blond adjusted his position in his friend's arms and his lips accidentally brushed against the pale neck in the process, Gaara suddenly tensed all over and pushed him away. The surprise in the guy's face was clear as he held Naruto at arm's length.

Naruto inched away and tried to act like nothing had happened. "Uh, I can take the tray downstairs and see if Sakura's up already. Thanks for the breakfast."

As expected, the silent redhead gave no reply but Naruto could feel the jade eyes glued on him the whole time before he was out of the room.

* * *

 **A/N:** _The dictionary mentioned in this chapter is Random House Webster's College Dictionary. The parts Naruto read out of that aforementioned book are not mine and their rights belong to their respective owners._


	5. Crown of Hay

**\+ + + Schizotypal + + +**

 **Disclaimer:** _I don't own 'Naruto' and I make no money from these writings._

 **A/N:** _Hey guys, thanks for the reviews, they really brighten up my day. :)_

 _This chapter begins where the previous one ended._

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Crown of Hay**

A sunny Saturday morning found the four of them making their way to the cottage in the woods, a place that was close to Naruto's heart.

Since she wouldn't return back home until Sunday evening, Sakura had suggested they'd enjoy the pleasant, summery weather and make a trip to this magnificent, secluded place owned by her parents. Three votes out of four had been in favor of coming here, and since Kankuro refused to leave Gaara home alone, the silently glowering redhead had been forced to join them.

One vote out of four had been in favor of traveling with Naruto's more-or-less-rattling yet ever-so-reliable Škoda Felicia. To the blond's disappointment, the other three votes had without hesitation gone in favor of Kankuro's pompous vehicle. While Naruto had muttered something about stupid new cars, he had hopped in nevertheless.

Sakura and Naruto were now rowing a boat on the nearby lake. Aware that all sounds traveled fast on the watery surface, they spoke in hushed voices.

"So, Gaara seems to be in a better mood," Sakura pointed out. "What happened?"

Naruto glanced at the horizon while rowing in an unhurried fashion. After half a minute, he was sure he couldn't delay his reply any longer. "Nothing happened. He's moody like that."

"Oh, something _definitely_ happened," she said with an unhealthy glee in her voice as her green eyes studied him with unwanted intensity.

Naruto stuck his tongue out childishly at her. Right now, he was not in the mood for this. Explaining things to her would've required them to be in order inside his head. And they were not.

Just to turn the spotlight away from him, he said, "You seem to enjoy Kankuro's company."

Suddenly she turned pensive, her earlier playfulness fading away. "Yeah, he's alright."

After that, a prolonged silence fell over them, during which Naruto was sure his friend would not elaborate the topic any further. But after their small cottage was nowhere visible in the distancing horizon, she suddenly spoke again.

"He knows how to listen, you know? It's nice to be around someone who's not full of himself all the time."

"Sounds like Sasuke to me," Naruto said under his breath and kept on rowing lazily.

She shot him a glare but didn't call him out for his well-known opinion this time. "Kankuro's a nice guy. He doesn't take himself too seriously. And it seems family is more important to him than anything." The seagulls shrieking in the sky got her attention, and with a sigh she returned her gaze to the horizon, where their cottage lay hidden behind the forest.

"And he's not bad-looking, either."

Naruto stopped rowing and stared at her questioningly. "Well… Yeah. But why are you thinking about things like that? You have a boyfr―"

His words were cut off as she grabbed him by the lifejacket and stared at him angrily. The familiar vein was throbbing on her temple again, and he was afraid she'd have a seizure sometime soon.

"Naruto." Her voice was silky yet violently dangerous, and her twitching eyes were fixated on his frightened blue ones. "I know I have a boyfriend. You don't have to remind me or anybody else about it at every possible turn. I don't need you as my moralist, not when you have the habit of sleeping around."

"That's in the past now and you know it!" Naruto defended with a small voice.

"Whatever. My point is, I am not the one whose morale you should be watching for. I am tired of guys acting like they owned me, or my decisions. I do whatever the hell I want, and if you say even one more critical word about my decisions or about Sasuke, I promise I will drown you," Sakura snarled and her grip on his front tightened threateningly before she let go.

Shaking from terror, Naruto slumped to his end of the boat, trying to get his breathing even. Right now his top priority was to stay as far away as possible from her knuckles, and to notice her taking hold of the oars calmed him down a bit. At least now, her hands had something else to grip than his textiles.

With brisk moves, she rowed the boat around the lake and Naruto had no courage to open another conversation.

When they arrived at the home shore, she cheerfully waved at Kankuro waiting for them on the dock. The brunette helped her out of the boat, a gesture she seemed to happily accept no matter how furious she had been mere minutes ago on the lake. With shaking legs, Naruto got off the boat, too, and kept a safe distance to his explosive friend.

In the evening, they were all gathered around the table and were enjoying the extraordinarily delicious supper Kankuro had made. The log-fire warmed up the cottage in the background and on the table, bottles of red and white wine sat opened.

During the course of the evening, Naruto had not dared to say a word to Sakura, but had only smiled at her forcedly whenever their eyes had met. Instead of searching for her company, he had remained near Gaara, who hadn't seemed to mind his sudden sociability towards him.

As Kankuro and Sakura were collecting the dirty plates to do the dishes, Naruto and Gaara sat still at the table. Quietly, Gaara sipped his red wine and Naruto couldn't help but notice the reddish tint it left on his lips. In the cozy, shadowy atmosphere Gaara's skin had an ivory, ghost-like glow. The darkness around his eyes was more pronounced than ever, and that red hair of his was darker than Naruto remembered ever seeing it.

As the guy sat there in the shadows with his black clothes, he looked gothic and sorrowful. Yet whenever his jade eyes met his blue ones, something vivid lighted up in the depths of them. Naruto shook his head at his silly thoughts. Surely it was just the wine talking.

"Hey guys, sauna will be ready soon," Kankuro told them as he returned to the room to get the last of the dirty dishes. "Sakura will go first, and after that it's our turn. You two are coming, right?"

"Yeah, okay," Naruto said to the man's retreating back.

"I'm not going," Gaara said to the blond, when the brunette was out of sight.

"You have to come. I'm not going alone with your brother," the blond whined, and looked pleadingly at his friend.

"Why can't you go alone with him?" the redhead asked.

"Because it'd be awkward. He's good-looking," Naruto replied but as soon as the hastily spoken confession left his mouth he wanted to swallow it back.

Gaara stared at him with an unreadable expression, before quietly lowering his gaze to his lap. His wrists were wrapped up in gauze, and a tiny bit of it peeked from where his sleeve ended. "I can't go with these."

Naruto looked at him in an understanding manner. "What if you kept them on?"

"They'll get wet. And I'm afraid he'll start nagging about something," Gaara replied.

"But what if I'll sit between you two? And if I notice he's starting to nag, I'll change the subject," Naruto suggested.

The redhead pondered the idea and eventually accepted the plan. The whole time the three men shared the sauna, no unwanted interest was given to Gaara's bandaged arms. And whenever Kankuro looked like he was about to say something about any subject guaranteed to make his little brother annoyed, Naruto quickly found something to discuss about Sakura. And miraculously that got the brunette's full attention every time.

Fresh and clean, the four of them stood in front of the charred log-fire, Kankuro drying his hair and Naruto combing his spiky locks, without ever succeeding in getting them to stay down.

"About sleeping arrangements," Sakura started and got everyone's attention. "There are only three bedrooms in here, so you guys have to share."

"We can bunk in the same room," Gaara spoke before anyone else, and took hold of Naruto's wrist.

The blond stopped combing his hair and only shrugged submissively. A timid look at Sakura – a look he instantly regretted afterwards – told him exactly what the pink-haired woman was thinking. He wanted to roll his eyes at her, but instead he glanced at Kankuro, who was looking at them dubiously.

But then Gaara was already tugging him along towards their shared room, and hastily he grabbed his bag and let his friend lead them out of that tensed situation.

Without even minute hesitation, Gaara chose the room furthest away from the other two. As Naruto asked about this, the redhead shrugged and said, "I want to be as far away from my brother as possible. That's why at home our rooms are in the opposite corners of the house."

It was a thing Naruto had never thought of before. As he sat down on the bed, he was reminded of its narrowness, a thing he had long ago forgotten.

"Thanks for sharing a room with me. I don't want to be in the same room with him," Gaara said quietly as he sat down next to the blond.

"He's only worried about you because he cares for you," Naruto replied.

But Gaara only shook his head in disapproval. "I wish he'd stop."

"You can't stop people from caring," the blond said quietly and gazed at his friend softly.

Gaara spared him a glance, before he began peeling off the wet gauze. "You're different, Naruto. I don't mind you caring."

The blond nodded, and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder. As the wet gauze came off layer after layer, Naruto's wandering attention was quickly drawn to it and to the red marks uncovering from beneath. Like he would hang any ordinary piece of clothing to dry out, Gaara placed the partially reddish bandages on the back of a chair. When he sat down on the bed again, Naruto grabbed his hands.

Slowly, he rolled up the sleeves and gasped at the glaring red scars marring the ivory skin. Not only were his wrists attacked, but the devilish lines went up all the way to his forearms, too. And Naruto couldn't escape the association that the horrendous slashes looked so much like an inverted cross, and he wondered if the reason behind the chosen form was symbolic or purely practical.

He wanted to ask why, but by now he knew why and he knew his question would only cause his friend to pull away his hands and shut off completely.

Instead, Naruto held his hands and placed two light kisses on top of the wounds. The redhead's muscles tightened under the scarred skin, yet Naruto refused to let go. When he finally met the guy's questioning, almost threatened glare, he explained.

"Whenever I hurt myself as a kid, mom always kissed the boo-boos away. I know it's silly what I just did, but…" he trailed off, sadness in his voice.

The redhead's expression softened, and the muscles relaxed.

"Please… don't do this anymore," Naruto whispered before he let go of the redhead's hands.

"I can't promise you," Gaara told and evaluated the blond's sad expression. He rolled down his sleeves and lay down on the bed.

Naruto eyed the narrow width that was left for him. His gaze scanned the room but nothing in there managed to capture his attention and make him feel more at ease. When he was sure he could feel the redhead's body heat radiate from behind his back, he stood up.

"I could use a breath of fresh air. Do you want to go out for a walk?" Naruto asked casually.

As Gaara gave him no verbal reply but followed him closely to the door, Naruto was beginning to wonder if he should've gone alone instead. Quietly, they made their way to the front door, and to their relief Kankuro and Sakura had already retreated into their rooms.

Outside, moonlight illuminated the surrounding forests and meadows, coloring the whole landscape with a lavender hue. Not sure where to go, Naruto led the way towards a meadow, where long hays and tall flowers grew wildly in chaotic harmony. At the moment, open spaces felt more tempting than thick forests. At some point or another, he wanted to stop, but the redhead walked so closely behind him that he feared the guy would bump into him if he suddenly halted. It was only under a large mountain ash that he decided to sit down.

Under the bright moon, it felt like another world. Everything felt surreal, and Naruto wondered if it was only him who was sensing the difference. Gaara was sitting next to him, and he seemed to be weaving something with the long hays he'd collected on their way here. Not long after, he was holding a neat garland in his hands.

Ceremoniously, Gaara placed the crown of hay on top of Naruto's head, and after deciding it looked good on the blond, he let it rest there on the spiky locks.

"What is that?" Naruto asked as he stared at his friend.

"You are now crowned as the king of this nightly land. Doesn't it feel like this is a completely different universe?" Gaara asked and looked around at the vast meadows.

"It does," Naruto agreed and adjusted the garland on his head. "And by morning, my kingdom will be gone."

"You are so poetic," Gaara said wryly.

"It's because of the full moon," Naruto knew and looked into the jade depths that were his friend's eyes. It felt like a mistake but he couldn't avert his gaze. Suddenly, even the spacious meadows around couldn't offer him the space he needed.

"Sakura yelled at me today," Naruto said just to have something to talk about. "I was sure she'd actually drown me. Here's a friendly advice: stay away from her fists."

Gaara chuckled and chewed a straw of hay in his mouth. "I'm sure she had her reasons."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Naruto asked pointedly.

"You can be a knucklehead sometimes," the redhead replied like it was a fact commonly known.

To that, Naruto chose not to reply. Instead he glanced up at the round moon deep in thought. "Do you think there's future for someone like me?"

"Only if you keep away from her fists' way," Gaara replied.

Naruto glared at him, not finding the humorous reply helpful at all. With a sigh, he said. "It's just… I feel so useless."

"You're not useless. You can keep a plant alive," the redhead said none too seriously.

"Come on, try to be serious," Naruto huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "These are deep things. How can you act so lightly?"

Gaara shrugged, a habit which the blond found annoying at least in this context. "You worry too much."

"You think I worry too much?" Naruto asked, taken aback. "Of course I worry, and what you're doing to yourself doesn't lighten up my burden at all."

Gaara's expression darkened and he spit the hay out of his mouth.

"I think your brother expects me to suddenly fix you. And yes, I'd like to do that, but I have a feeling I can't," Naruto said and looked at the quiet redhead with his sad, blue eyes. "I'm afraid you won't let me, and that I won't be enough."

By now, the aquamarine eyes held a saddened look, a look Naruto was sure he'd never seen before. They stared at each other under the full moon, before Gaara finally spoke.

"That crown really suits you."

Naruto sighed in exasperation and threw the garland to the ground. He hugged his knees against his chest and rested his face on top of them. And he had believed he had finally been able to get some sense into his friend's thick skull. Gaara was a knucklehead of his own kind for sure.

As an arm wrapped around him, Naruto was startled out from his turtle-like position. Gaara was partially hugging him, sad as ever expression on his face. "Don't take burdens that aren't yours to carry."

Upon hearing the words, Naruto hid his face in his arms again. He was useless, unable to change anyone's life much less than his own. He would fail this mission that was unofficially given to him, and he would lose Gaara, his extraordinary and wonderful friend, and with his mind's eye he could already see Kankuro drowning him in the lake because of that.

Very gently, Gaara pried him out of his shielded position and cupped his whiskered cheeks. And the way he paid no attention to those hideous scars of his didn't escape Naruto's notion. With his thumbs, Gaara dried the undersides of his blue eyes, where tears had wetted his skin.

Carefully, Gaara let go of Naruto's other cheek as he moved his finger to trace over a blond brow. Silently he smoothed down the brow, as if memorizing the shape and the slight arch in the end of it. His finger slid down along the bridge of his nose, to the small pit that was his philtrum. From there, his finger dropped to his lower lip, slightly stretching it down as it touched his chin and then left his face altogether.

And Naruto stared at the redhead with wide eyes, unable to move for his muscles were paralyzed and a white noise had taken over the space where his brain had previously been. Just when he was getting convinced this was all just a hallucination, or a dream of a vivid kind, Gaara touched his neck and then his collarbone in a ghostly way only he could.

Before Naruto could even think of a way to react, even if it was just by closing his eyes, Gaara retreated altogether and started looking for another straw of hay to chew on.

It was not anger but something akin to frustration that stirred up inside Naruto. For a moment, he searched for an interpretation for what had just happened, but when he saw the closed expression on his friend's face, he deemed the quest futile.

After having rested his eyes on the silent, calm redhead for a while, Naruto finally decided to speak up his mind.

"Why do you have that weird tattoo on your forehead?"

Gaara stopped chewing the hay and turned to look at him. His earlier calmness was changing into cautiousness but nevertheless he graced him with an answer.

"It's a symbol for love and it's there to remind me of how Mother used to love me," Gaara replied in a monotonous way. "I got it when I was fifteen and completely given up on my remaining family."

"Oh," Naruto said and kept on looking at the strange, red tattoo.

Gaara didn't seem to mind about the curious attention. "My neighbor was five years older than me and he was an aspiring tattoo artist. Before moving away to a bigger city, he used to live in his parent's basement. As I had no cash back then, he offered me to give this tattoo in exchange of my virginity."

Naruto choked on his own spit and coughed violently. "W-What?" he asked, nervous and unbelieving at the same time. "What happened?"

"Well what do you think?" Gaara asked flatly and spat the hay out of his mouth. "Thank god this tattoo was the only thing I got from him, because at that age I was not very aware of STDs and such."

By now, Naruto's attention lay on the silently swaying hays in the distance. He pulled his knees closer to his chest, not sure how to once again interpret these emotions Gaara caused in him.

"What was yours like?"

The question dragged Naruto out of his thoughts and he turned to look at his friend. "What?"

"Your first time," Gaara clarified.

"Oh. It was with a girl I met at school," Naruto said like the whole incident wasn't even distantly meaningful to him. "It was awkward and we were both inexperienced."

"I meant with a guy," the redhead said calmly.

The blond lowered his gaze to the flowers growing among the taller grass. When he started to speak, he kept his attention on the surrounding wilderness. "It was with my friend's brother."

"What happened?" Gaara asked in a monotonous way.

"I was staying the night at my friend's place. In the middle of the night, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I bumped into his brother, who had just broken up with his girlfriend. He was distressed, and I tried to comfort him," Naruto explained in an uninterested manner.

"We went to his room and he just kept on coming on to me. He had the saddest eyes I'd ever seen," the blond said and closed his eyes as if to escape the memory. "When his family found out, they blamed me for it. They told me I was the snake in their paradise, and that I had corrupted their sons. I ended up losing my friend, too."

"That's horrible," Gaara said with something akin to sympathy in his voice.

"Well, life is," Naruto knew, unaffected by the hurtful memory. "And it wasn't okay for your neighbor to suggest things like that."

"I know," Gaara said and looked up into the starry night sky. "I know now. After him, I've only had submissive partners." He turned his studying gaze on Naruto. "You remind me of them."

"I―I'm not submissive," Naruto said quickly with a blush on his face and looked away. Despite that, he could feel the redhead's stare bore into him.

"How many partners have you had?" Gaara asked like it was a common topic of conversation.

"Only a handful."

"I've had four," the redhead said impassively, like the matter didn't hold any personal meaning to him.

Naruto nodded and hugged his knees tighter. For some reason he felt bare in the moonlight. And the longer the minutes passed in silence, the more surreal everything felt. It wouldn't surprise him to learn this all had been just a bizarre dream.

When Naruto yawned, Gaara looked at him caringly. "Do you want to go back? Or do you want to stay here?"

The blond pondered his options for a moment. The all too narrow bed he'd be forced to share with the redhead didn't really thrill him. Here in the middle of vast meadows, he felt he could breathe.

"Let's stay here," he decided and leaned against the tree trunk.

Gaara came to sit by his side and wrapped an arm around him. At first, Naruto recoiled at the closeness but soon relaxed and let himself lean against his friend. An owl hooted in the distance, and the full moon slowly made its way closer to the horizon. Sleepily, Naruto leaned more comfortably against Gaara's chest, and the slow rhythm it rose and lowered with lulled him into a restful sleep.

* * *

Naruto opened his eyes to see golden meadows bathing in glorious morning light. Birds were screeching on the upper branches of the mountain ash he was leaning against. The world felt inescapably real and present, and no part of it was imaginary. As he noticed his garland of hay lying on the grass, disheveled and partly undone, he truly felt like his nightly kingdom was now nothing but a distant vision.

Had the Night-Gaara been just a peculiar dream, too? Or had they really had all those conversations?

Just then, the Day-Gaara emerged from behind the tree. On the hem of his shirt, he was carrying plenty of wild strawberries and a yellow flower.

"Here," Gaara said as he sat down next to him. "Now you rule the day, too," he said as he popped the sun-like flower behind Naruto's ear.

Once again not sure how to respond Naruto only smiled a sunny little smile. With gratitude, he accepted the breakfast Gaara had succeeded to collect them from the surrounding wilderness.

As they made their way back to the cottage, a cloud of melancholy hovered persistently over Naruto. This whole place itself felt nostalgic to him, but to lose the titillating connection with the Night-Gaara made him thoroughly confused.

Back at the cottage, he put the yellow flower on a water glass at the porch's table. He couldn't take it home with him, for it belonged here and would only wither in the town.

And all too soon the four of them were in the car again, heading back to grey weekdays that waited just behind the corner. As soon as Naruto got tired of staring at the landscape scurrying by, he turned his attention to Gaara, who was sitting next to him in the back seat. The redhead was wearing Naruto's hoodie for a reason untold, and at first the blond had concluded it as a pure mix-up. But as Sakura had pointed out, someone like Gaara would hardly wear anything orange by accident.

Gaara had not bothered to put the gauze in place, he noticed, as the blasphemous cuts screamed to the world whenever he stretched his arm in a specific way.

The whole morning Kankuro had been oddly quiet. Naruto tried to steal a glance at him via the rear mirror, but it looked like the older brother was deep in a world of his own. Not even Sakura's presence in the passenger's seat seemed to hold his attention.

* * *

The weather forecast had warned about an upcoming storm, and judging by the gigantic raindrops that bombarded Naruto's poor umbrella with a furious pace, TV had not been wrong this time. Regret of not going with his car this morning visited his mind again, as he left the bookstore for the day and hurried along the street with long strides.

Only when he saw the hearty garden surrounding his home, the regret vanished altogether and all he could think about was how thankful he was to be here at long last.

The whole house was dark as no one had bothered to turn on the lights. The quietness that had swallowed the place was all but tranquil, and the only sound he could hear was the machine-gun-like rain shooting against the tin roof.

The light of the refrigerator illuminated the whole kitchen as Naruto searched for something to rouse his appetite with. Even though his stomach grumbled, he didn't feel like eating and so he closed the fridge. As he was about to go to his room, he stopped in his tracks as he heard a noise.

The door to Kankuro's room was slightly ajar and a dim light shone from the crack. As Naruto went closer, the noise got clearer and heart pounding heavier and heavier, he made it to the door.

"Kankuro?" he asked and the sobbing stopped.

Quietly, Naruto entered the brunette's room only to find him sitting on his bed, his eyes puffy and red as he stifled a sob.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Kankuro shook his head in silent despair and wailed. This moment felt far too intimate to be leaked out of the room, for he had never seen the brunette so distracted. Naruto closed the door, a decision he'd regret later.

With stiff legs, Naruto remained standing near the wall and let his gaze glue itself on the inanimate objects around the room, on anywhere but at the teary eyes of the man.

But as always, his lack of participating in communication never seemed to bother the brunette, or prevent him from opening up conversations. Kankuro let out a shaky sigh and then slowly shook his head again like something incomprehensible was troubling his mind.

"Have you seen Gaara's arms?" Kankuro asked.

Breath caught in Naruto's throat and his gaze got stuck on a small family portrait on the opposite wall. "I've seen them."

"I don't know what to do with him anymore," the brunette whispered and stifled a shaky sob. "I feel so lost."

For an answer, Naruto nodded and let out an understanding sigh.

Kankuro turned to look at him, and never before had Naruto seen his eyes so hollow and hopeless. The burden of the whole world seemed to be on his shoulders alone.

"I asked our sister, Temari, if she could take Gaara for a while. She's a priest in Suna, and her husband, Shikamaru, is a psychiatrist," Kankuro told and sniffled his stuffed nose. The thin string of hope in his voice made Naruto feel momentarily easier, too, even though the sheer idea of Gaara moving away even for a little while made him unimaginably troubled.

"But guess what she did?" Kankuro said and suddenly his voice was full of frustration and hurt. "She sent me a freaking Bible and wished me good luck! Like we didn't have enough of those already, thanks to dad."

And now Naruto noticed the heavy book lying haphazardly on the floor, like it had been kicked away in a fit of anger.

"It feels like I've tried my hardest and it has led to nothing. He doesn't talk to me, and when I try to get through to him, he refuses to listen," Kankuro sighed and tears welled up in his eyes. "He's the only family I've got. If I don't have my family, I have no reason to be here, either."

Naruto gulped quietly and anchored his trembling hands in his pockets. The burden on his shoulders got heavier and heavier, like a harness made out of lead.

"Kankuro…" the blond whispered and tried to collect his cacophonic emotions. "I'm sure things will get better."

"How?" the brunette exclaimed with frustration and stood up suddenly. Way too quickly, he walked in front of Naruto and grabbed him by the arms. Expectantly, he stared at him and repeated, "How do you know that?"

"I―I just hope so," Naruto whispered. Something tightened in his throat and he tried to gulp it away.

"That's not enough," Kankuro said almost accusingly and squeezed the blond's arms more tightly. "That's not even closely enough."

"I know… But…" Naruto replied and trailed off as the lump in his throat grew bigger and bigger. Never before had he seen the brunette so sad and devastated, and the vivid hurt carved in his features was painful to look at. He backed away but hit the door, which would've let him fall away from this distressing bubble had he left it open.

"And what's going on between you two, anyway?" Kankuro asked with obvious curiosity, yet the doubt in his voice was more likely due to his genuine protectiveness for his little brother, than to his mistrust on Naruto.

"I― It's… I'm trying to help him, too," Naruto managed to say and really hoped his feeble attempts would miraculously turn fruitful one day.

"You are helping him…" Kankuro repeated and the earlier, lost hope was now audible in his voice again. With a sob, he pulled the blond into a desperate hug. "Thank you. Please, make sure he's going to be alright."

"I… I try to…" the blond stuttered.

His lungs felt like a balloon but somehow he was unable to exhale. Something strangled his throat and it was hard to breathe. In the back of his mind, a repressed presentiment was shaking the shackles it was tied down with.

Unaware of those subliminal warnings, that brown haired mass of muscles held him tightly and showed no signs of letting him go. He should just run. But the door was closed and he was choking, and most of all he was incapable of abandoning his good-hearted attempts of comforting his friend's brother.

When the idea of running came again, more strongly this time, the hitched sobs of Kankuro against his shoulder cemented his feet to the spot, before he could act out his instincts' desires.

As the brunette pulled away from the hug and desperately gripped his upper arms again, seeking comfort or reassurance that yes, maybe someday things would turn out better, the tried lock inside Naruto's chaotic mind shattered into million pieces and he was about to scream.

"Are you alright?" Kankuro asked and looked at him worriedly.

But Naruto couldn't force a reply out of himself, and when the frowning brunette grabbed his chin and tested the temperature of his forehead with his hand, Naruto finally found his voice and screamed.

"What the hell, Naruto?" Kankuro asked with shock written all over his face, and instinctively covered the blond's mouth with his hand while pulling him against him, maybe in an attempt to calm him down, even though his action had quite the opposite reaction.

Inside his ribcage, Naruto's heart pinballed with increasing velocity. The corners of the room started to blur until the hazy edges slowly bent into darkness. All he could see and hear and feel was Kankuro's grip keeping him in place, and the closed door in the border of his peripheral vision was growing bigger and bigger, and the larger it got, the tighter it was locked.

Suddenly he could hear the army of raindrops shooting at the roof again, how had he tuned that noise out for so long he didn't know, and he was sure he could smell dry gunpowder in the air, it would be set on fire and he would explode, perish, and his feeble attempts at saving Gaara would slither down the rusty drainpipes of his life, where all his previous, futile efforts lay awaiting.

And the little sense of family he had succeeded in experiencing here would perish like it never existed, like it never even mattered at all, and all they had ever said or felt or dreamed would turn to dust and be buried into the ashes of meaningless history.

"Naruto?" the brunette asked again and uncovered his mouth.

And the blond inhaled automatically, trying to find his voice but nothing came.

"Naruto…" And now the voice was soft and worried and almost like velvet, and he couldn't say no, not to him or to the panic that was eating him alive. The arms around him didn't leave but squeezed him even tighter, and before he could scream again all went black.

* * *

Later on, he couldn't remember what it was that finally caught his attention and brought him back to the wavering border between a dream and hazy consciousness. Even though his eyelids were as heavy as lead, his ears were awake and even if he had wanted to, he couldn't block out the noises around him.

" _What the hell happened?"_

" _I don't know. He was suddenly out of breath or something. And then he started to scream."_

" _That's a panic attack. Don't you know anything?" A sigh. "What did you do?"_

" _Uh, I… held him against me and covered his mouth?"_

" _You idiot."_

" _Well what the hell was I supposed to do?"_

 _An exasperated sigh. "Just go. And close the door."_

Reluctantly, Naruto's lead-like eyelids slowly opened as the noises ceased altogether. The ceiling was unfamiliar and it almost got him to close his eyes again, when a glimpse of familiar red caught his attention.

"Hi," Naruto sighed as his vision focused on the worried-looking redhead sitting on the bed. He was wearing that orange hoodie again.

Gaara only evaluated him in silence, with concern written all over his face. "You had a panic attack."

"Yeah, maybe I did," Naruto admitted and tried to keep his voice light. To see the redhead so concerned of his well-being made him uneasy, and the last thing he wanted to do was to cause him any extra sorrow. "I'm feeling better now."

"What happened?" Gaara asked and took hold of Naruto's hand that lay still on the edge of the bed.

In his horizontal position, the blond only shrugged and as he noticed the slight frown on his friend's face, he knew his nonchalant gesture surely made him annoyed. "It was nothing."

But Gaara only stared at him in his quiet, studying way until something changed in his eyes.

"Did his _good looks_ make you to faint?" he asked with a tone slightly playful.

Naruto ignored the jab and stuck out his tongue at him.

"Well who's hard to reach out now?" Gaara only replied with a pretend defeat and looked around the room. It was then he noticed the unwanted book on the floor and a crumpled bundle of paper right next to it. He unfurled the paper and before any emotion could overtake his facial features and offer an interpretation of what was going on inside his mind, he crushed it into his fist and threw it under the bed.

"What was that?" Naruto asked, curious.

"Just a shopping list," the redhead said and squeezed the blond's hand. "I bet you're hungry. I can make you tea and sandwiches if you want," Gaara said and right then, the blond's stomach grumbled hungrily.

"I take that as a yes," the redhead said and the corners of his mouth curved up ever so slightly.

Embarrassed by his bodily reaction, Naruto only lowered his head and followed the redhead into the kitchen.

After a quarter of an hour, a cup of tea was brewing on the countertop and two sandwiches with cheese and ham on top were put on a plate.

"Where the hell are all the knives?" Gaara asked as he tried to find something to slice the cucumber with. He turned to his brother with a sharp, annoyed stare.

But Kankuro only hunched in his chair, shoulders tensed and jaw muscles tight.

Gaara stared at his quiet brother with intensifying frustration. A foul emotion overtook his features and he discarded the uncut cucumber altogether. "So… Temari doesn't want me with her. What other empty threats do you have left in your sleeve?"

In silence, Kankuro gritted his teeth. As Naruto observed the older brother from his spot at the table, he couldn't ignore the glistening in the corner of his eyes.

"Gaara…" Naruto said quietly in hopes of calming down the thunder that threatened to erupt in the room.

But his words met a deaf wall, seeing as Gaara addressed his brother again with overt bitterness. "With your controlling tendencies, you are just like Father. And like him, you only want to make my life harder."

"That's not true," Kankuro exclaimed and stood up abruptly, and the chair he had sat on fell to the floor behind his back with a loud clank.

"Don't you dare compare me to that man," the brunette said venomously and stepped closer to his brother. Gaara was all but intimidated, but the brunette was tense all over, yet the trembling under his skin didn't look like one of anger – to Naruto, it looked more like desperation.

"He was not as sober, definitely not as _straight_ as he let his priest-buddies know," Kankuro said heatedly.

"What?" Gaara breathed, but before any readable emotion could surface on his face, he hid it away.

Kankuro looked at the redhead with a pained expression. "I found it out after mom died. And that's why you and I shared a room until he passed away."

Gaara's non-existent brows furrowed and he looked repulsed. "I thought it was because Father wanted your perfectness to rub off on me."

"It was not because of that," Kankuro said wryly and looked more serious than Naruto had ever seen him before. "And he wouldn't have let us share that room, but I threatened to let his secrets out to the congregation."

And now the redhead looked surprised, yet the well-learned defiance refused to leave his demeanor.

Kankuro's voice adopted a more disgusted tone. "I hated him just as much as you did. And over the years I got tired of wrestling the rifles out of his hands whenever he had uncorked the bottle, or hiding his car keys or staying up at night, trying to listen if he was coming upstairs."

The closed expression of Gaara's was slowly turning into a pained one.

"You know what he was like – a real charmer when he was sober, but after a few glasses of gin, he became a completely different person. I'll never forget how he fired that couch full of lead when he found out how you got your tattoo. And if you say I resemble that travesty of a man, you're not only insulting me but mom, too," Kankuro spoke in a chilling voice, like he was trying to keep himself calm in the middle of an emotional storm.

"What has Mother to do with anything?" Gaara asked but didn't quite succeed in keeping curiosity out of his voice.

"You remember that morning when we found him lying on the floor with a blue color on his skin?" Kankuro asked even though it seemed to be clear that neither of them could ever forget a sight described.

"The night before, I wasn't sleeping. I saw him lying on the living room floor, forehead glistening with sweat and an empty bottle of gin next to his unmoving body. He was going into an insulin shock again. I turned around and went back to bed," Kankuro told and the anger was back in his voice.

The redhead stared at his brother with something akin to shock. "Isn't that a crime―"

"Then sue me," Kankuro said through gritted teeth. "I wanted him out of our lives, out of _your_ life. And by leaving him there I knew I had finally fulfilled mom's last wish."

"W-What?" Gaara asked, and for the first time Naruto saw his unrelenting defiance falter.

"She tried to divorce him, you know? But then she got that tumor and she ran out of time. Before she died, she told me to take care of you, as she knew her husband far better than any of us did at the time," Kankuro said with a quieter voice. "And I would've protected you anyway, without hesitation. But it was important for her to know someone was continuing her work after she was gone."

By now Gaara looked even more confused than ever. "Why haven't you told me about these things before? Why now…?"

"I thought I did," Kankuro told and then, sadness overtook his features. "But it always felt like you didn't want to hear what I say. And as I saw how much it hurt you whenever our past family life was brought up, I decided to leave it be. I thought that if you noticed how much I cared, it'd miraculously heal you and make you stop what you're trying to do. And when it comes to dad, all I ever did was to try and get along with the man, so that I could keep _you_ safe."

Something was definitely trembling under the redhead's tightly-controlled mask.

But Kankuro didn't give up upon seeing his little brother's ever-present, reserved demeanor. "You were special to mom, more special than the rest of us. But I don't hold that against you, because it's not something you could choose yourself. And just so you know, you were not the only one who lost a mom that day. But on contrary what you seem to think, she was not the only person who loved you."

The tension was so thick in the room that it could be cut with the knives now hidden in someplace safe. Naruto's gaze darted from brother to another as the two of them kept on staring at each other like in a mute battle. Just when the brunette's tensed shoulders relaxed down an inch, a mixed emotion crossed Gaara's face and he ran from the room.

Hastily, Naruto got up from his chair and hurried after him.

He found Gaara not in his room but in the closet down the corridor. The little bedside lamp was on, yet the atmosphere was all but homey. For the first time the numerous suits hanging quietly in line looked like headless bodies, and if Naruto had been here alone, he was certain he'd sometime soon start hearing them talk like the spirit of their owner still lived in the house.

Gaara lay with his back turned to the door, closing off Naruto and the rest of the world.

"Don't touch me."

Not daring to disobey that order, Naruto sat down on the mattress within a comfortable distance and propped his back against the wall.

Even though the redhead was closed off, to Naruto it looked like he was in a dire need of comforting. But how could he achieve that goal if not by touching?

"You know what I do when it gets too noisy in my head?" he started. "I Imagine I am looking at myself and in the place of my head is a bright twirl, like a galaxy of some sort, and it's where all my emotions are at. And I stare at myself, at my feelings, without taking part in them. I just let the storm calm down on its own, without getting sucked in."

He hadn't really expected an answer, but when Gaara glanced at him from behind his shoulder, he automatically flashed him a reassuring smile.

"It requires concentration, though. I can't do it whenever I want to. More than often I get sucked in, but in a calm environment I'm able to keep myself out of it," Naruto said.

"I didn't know you were doing things like that," Gaara said to the wall in front of him.

"It's a trick I've learned," the blond replied.

"It hurts," the redhead suddenly confessed.

Even though his friend wouldn't be able to see it, Naruto nodded for an answer. He didn't move or say a word, but instead let a comfortable silence fall over them which his friend would be able to fill with words of his own, if he so wished.

And it seemed the redhead took advantage of the offered opportunity.

"Wounds were already scabbed. I had gotten used to them by now. But today they were re-opened and I have to unlearn some truths I've known," Gaara spoke.

"Maybe the wounds will heal better this time," Naruto suggested.

Gaara seemed to hesitate before he replied. "Do you really think so?"

"I have all the faith in you and your brother. You will get through this. He cares for you more than you know. And earlier today, he said he wouldn't have a reason to live if he didn't have you," Naruto told.

"He said that?"

"Yes. And he was very distraught by the idea of losing you."

The redhead's back rounded as if he was trying to turn into a ball. Naruto wondered if now would be the right time to touch him.

"It hurts. I want to make it go away," Gaara whispered and curled up even more.

"It'll stop hurting, I promise. And I'm sure your brother will welcome you if you reach out to him," Naruto knew. He spread a heavy blanket on top of his friend, who seemed not to mind about it. With calculated movements, he carefully lay down next to the blanket-clad redhead and loosely hugged him from behind.

"Is this alright?" Naruto asked just to be sure. Gaara squeezed the blanket in his hands and let out a faint sigh, leaving it to the blond to interpret his opinion.

Naruto took it as a yes. Almost instinctively, he began to stroke his friend's side, thankful of the barrier-thick blanket between them. Another quiet sigh from Gaara told him he was succeeding in his clumsy attempts at making him feel better. Naturally his hand slid to his friend's stomach and caressed it with round movements. As a kid, his mother had always rubbed his stomach whenever he had been sick or in need of comforting.

And hopefully, that same care and solace could now be transmitted to the redhead, too.

As Gaara leaned his back more into Naruto, he momentarily stopped all movement. Was that a scent of pine needles in the air? He had never really thought about it. Secretly he tried to trace the origin of that titillating scent – was it his shampoo, or his skin, or just a fading whiff of some laundry detergent on his clothes?

Feeling sorry in advance, Naruto moved away and cut off their bodily contact. The memory of conifer forests remained in his chest, and from where it traveled lower, into the pit of his stomach. Under his baggy shirt, the muscles on his stomach tightened and before he could get any more caught up in the sensation, he started to speak.

"Everything will be alright. It'll take time, but you guys can do it."

"Yes. I have to talk to him. I've hurt him. Not only today, but for a long time," Gaara spoke quietly. He turned around to face him and took hold of his hand, then squeezed it quickly and in that fleeting contact, his anxiousness was rather clear. Gaara's hands were never sweaty, but now they were warmer than usually. And the hesitation in his voice was a thing Naruto had never heard before.

Instead of pulling his hand away like he felt he should've done, Naruto grabbed Gaara's hand with both of his. Rather than to gaze into those familiar jade depths, he immersed his attention into their linked fingers.

"It was comforting when you rubbed my belly. Would you do it again?"

Naruto gave his hand a surprised squeeze. "S-Sure."

And soon after the redhead's back was once again glued to his chest, and with movements as calm and smooth as possible, he caressed his blanket-covered stomach. Gaara sighed and relaxed and smelled of nature, of trees and rain and freedom.

And in that moment Naruto began to wonder what he smelled like, and if Gaara liked it – or if his scent would be something displeasing, like sweat or garlic or anxiety.

Just then it felt safer to direct his hand upwards and leave the controversial stomach area behind. With fake laziness, he caressed Gaara's chest and arm that crossed it under the blanket. He closed his eyes, seeing himself and a white swirl that was his head and it was all he wanted to concentrate in.

A soft breath from Gaara almost got him sucked into that strong vortex but he managed to keep himself at bay. Just to get some variety so that his hesitation would not be in any way detectable, he lowered his hand to his stomach again and began to rub it.

"Think about the bright twirl," Naruto said maybe more to himself than to his friend.

"How did you know I was thinking about it?" Gaara asked and glanced at him from behind his shoulder.

Naruto leaned away and forced a carefree grin to his face. "I just knew."

Gaara turned his back on him again, seemingly unaware of the thoughts inhabiting _his_ mind.

Later in the evening, TV filled the silence of the living room with superficial commercials and half-serious talk shows. With appetite they enjoyed their delivery pizzas, Gaara sitting in the middle of the sofa, with Naruto and Kankuro on his either sides.

A lot of things were left unsaid, maybe because the brothers wanted to restore the calm of the house, or maybe they just didn't know how to get started?

Whatever the reason, Naruto felt relieved he was left out of their family dynamics for once.

"Here, taste this."

It was Kankuro, draping a slice of his pizza to his little brother. Cautiously, Gaara eyed the pineapple and pepperoni, but took a bite nevertheless.

"This is good," he admitted and longed for the rest of the slice. Seeing his expression, Kankuro smiled softly and gave it to him.

"Take this," Gaara offered him a piece of his vegetable pizza in return. The look on the brunette's face wasn't one of pure joy when he took the first bite, but this moment was far too precious for him to ruin it by showing his distaste.

It still rained outside but now it was only a pleasant hum in the background. Night grew darker and the pizza boxes had long ago turned empty, yet the resilient TV noise still postponed the inevitable conversations they needed to have.

Surprising them all, Gaara leaned his head on his brother's shoulder and yawned. If the earlier situation hadn't been so dire, it would've been downright amusing to watch Kankuro gape at the unexpected mean of reaching out.

It almost escaped Naruto's observation, but quite imperceptibly Kankuro took hold of Gaara's hand that lay between them. It looked like he was gently tracing the scars on his wrist, yet it seemed his undivided attention was on television the whole time. Only a slight twitch of Gaara's finger indicated he had noticed the connection and deemed it appropriate enough to continue.

By himself, Naruto smiled slightly. As always, TV was full of meaningless content the world could perfectly well survive without, but for once he tried to immerse himself into it. The harness made out of lead visited his shoulders every now and then, reminding him about the responsibilities he had been unofficially given.

But for now, he only wanted to relax and enjoy the rare, calm evening with his landlords.

* * *

It had been a tiring day. Sakura had asked him to come along as she and her lesser-known friends were enjoying the summer at a crowded park. Not wanting to waste any chance of spending time with her, Naruto had agreed to come along.

But of course, it had turned into a nightmare.

To witness all that easygoing, fluent communication between other people had made him feel like a total outcast. Of course, Sakura had engaged him into their interaction at every possible turn, perhaps just trying to make him feel more included.

"You need to get out of the house more, Naruto," she had said.

"It'll do you good to spend time with other people besides… Well, Gaara," she had added after that.

Naruto groaned at the memory. She had been wrong. So very, very wrong.

To his delight and devastation, everyone had ignored his presence. He was nobody, a shadow, yet it saved him from coming up with trivial things to say. Sakura had obviously enjoyed her time there, and why hadn't she, for she was clearly created for human interaction.

At home in the closet, Naruto curled up into a ball and wished the aching spot in his chest would grow numb and leave him feel nothing at all.

A careless child had accidentally thrown a ball to Naruto's head, and before his rational side had gotten a grasp of the situation, a clawing presence had manifested inside his stomach. Before things had even a chance of escalating to the point of Naruto gripping the front of the stupid brat and giving him a threat of a lifetime, somebody had already kicked the ball back and the child had disappeared from their sight.

Everyone had been laughing at the kid's clumsiness in a good-hearted way.

Everyone except Naruto. And in that moment, he had wanted to disappear, too.

At some point his anxious thoughts morphed into vivid dreams and soon he was at the park again, but this time with Sakura alone. She smelled of pine needles and just when she was about to kiss him, Kankuro kicked a ball right to his face.

He woke up with a jolt only to realize he was tucked under a blanket and someone was holding him.

"Sakura?" he asked sleepily and rubbed his eyes.

"Not quite," a velvet voice replied, a voice which got Naruto to forget his aching heart for a moment.

Instead, the hurt in his chest traveled down and turned into a fluttering sensation in his loins. Of course, it was because he had just moments ago dreamed of kissing Sakura.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked.

"You got home later than usually. And you weren't in your room."

"Were you expecting me?" Naruto laughed a little.

"What if I was?" Gaara asked back and lifted the blanket. Soon he was so very close to Naruto, hugging him from behind again.

And when the redhead's hands sneaked to rest on his stomach, Naruto jolted and grabbed his wrist. Not letting go, he guided the comforting hand to his chest and held it there.

"I―I had a rough day," Naruto told. "And then I had an even worse dream about it."

"You're safe now," Gaara said and was about to move his hand, but the blond's grip prevented it. "What happened?"

"I was out with people. With Sakura," Naruto whispered. "I don't fit in."

An understanding sigh on his neck was his only answer. For some reason a shiver traveled down his spine and instinctively, he gripped his friend's hand tighter.

"You're crushing my wrist," Gaara pointed out lazily and it felt like his breath was on his neck again.

Naruto freed the redhead's hand but didn't dare to turn around. As he had feared, the hand traveled down to his stomach and rubbed it. But no matter how comforting it was meant to be, Naruto couldn't relax. He rolled on his stomach and dug his head under the pillows, shutting off the world completely.

Gaara wasn't touching him anymore, but under the blanket, he could clearly feel his body heat.

"You don't need to fit in around them. You can be yourself. And you don't have to be with people who make you feel worse," the redhead said.

"I don't feel worse with you," the blond mumbled.

Gaara lifted the pillows to hear his voice better. "You're a mole. A closet mole."

"I'm not," Naruto laughed.

"Yes you are. You're here in the dark closet, dug under the blankets, hiding away from the world," the redhead said. "You are definitely a mole right now."

"And what are you?" the blond asked.

When the redhead didn't answer, Naruto turned to lie on his side, facing his friend. Gaara looked at him in a studying way, and then tucked a lock of blond hair behind his ear.

"I'm the shovel that gently digs you up from the ground."

"But I like to be under the ground," the blond whispered.

"You only think so because you had a rough day," Gaara assured.

Naruto nodded and sighed. "Sakura thought I should spend time with other people, too, besides you."

The redhead's hand came to rest on the blond's side and instinctively, Naruto inhaled as if anticipating a tickle.

"Maybe she only wants the best for you," Gaara replied after a while, and squeezed the blond's side.

Naruto gulped and tried to concentrate. "She wants to normalize me. And I don't think I can do that."

"Why should you be anything else than what you are?" the redhead said back and fiddled the hem of Naruto's shirt with his thumb, almost touching his skin that lay hot underneath the material.

"I'm not okay like this," Naruto breathed. "I'm awkward. And I'm a mole, too."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Gaara pointed out.

"Yes there is," the blond argued back while his breathing turned into more erratic. "I don't fit in. Everyone notices it. I'm the wrong kind, and it's just… wrong! I have to… I have to be better. I don't want to end up like my mom, but I just know I'll do so anyway, because I don't have any other option, do I? And it'll be for the best, because there's no room for someone like me, because I'm a mole, a hideous mole and―"

"There there," Gaara said calmly and pulled him into a hug. He didn't let go until the blond's breathing adopted a more relaxed rhythm. "You won't end up like your mother."

"How do you know?" the blond whispered and hugged back his friend.

"You have a good personality," the redhead answered. "You're good the way you are."

"No," Naruto denied and squeezed the back of Gaara's shirt.

"Yes," the redhead argued back patiently.

"No. You will get tired of helping me. Because I'll never change, I'll never get better. And you'll grow tired of me and evict me. Believe it, I know," Naruto almost sobbed.

"You're being too hard on yourself, don't you think?" Gaara said calmly. "Tomorrow, everything will feel better."

"You sound so sure about it," the blond whispered and broke free from the hug. "How can you be so sure? Are you a prophet?"

"Of course I am," Gaara said with a small smile. "And my crystal ball tells me that you'll do just fine in your life. Because you're kind and caring, and people will notice it."

Naruto pressed his head against his friend's chest and soon after, the redhead's arm entwined around him. The sore spot in his chest was no longer there, and in its place was now a bright sphere of light. The earlier thunder clouds had sailed away and all he could see with his mind's eye was a cerulean sky.

"You're special," Naruto whispered to his chest. "Everyone should a have a friend like you. I'm sure there would be no wars or crimes or that general dissatisfaction people feel about their lives."

"Aren't you a bit exaggerating?" Gaara said with amusement.

"No," Naruto said curtly and sighed. "Doesn't your crystal ball tell you that?"

"It has a blind spot there," the redhead admitted and patted the blond on the back.

"That's alright. I'll be the eyes for your blind spot," Naruto promised. "And my sight tells me that you're precious, and special and important. And I just know that you'll succeed in finding a way out of your family past, one that doesn't force you to hurt yourself in order to cope."

Gaara squeezed him against himself and pressed his mouth against the blond locks. In that tender, loaded moment Naruto knew his shovel had hit a nerve underground.

"I'll be there. I'll make sure you get there someday. I know it won't happen fast, but you're the kind of person who's too resilient to give up. You made it this far, right? Only a little more and you'll get through it all. It's just behind the corner, and I'll be walking by your side with every step you take."

The only answer to his speech was Gaara squeezing him more tightly. They lay in a silent, pent-up embrace as if afraid their prophecies would someday turn out false.

A clatter of plates carried from downstairs. Hazily, Naruto let go of his friend. In the soft light of the evening, Gaara looked like an open book. The usual barrier was gone, and it genuinely felt like just now, he was seeing him for the first time.

The longer he let his eyes rest on that sight, the more pressing that fluttering sensation from before got. When Gaara closed his eyes, Naruto let his gaze travel down along the ridge of his perfect nose, then to his parted, pale lips and to those white teeth that were barely visible.

Naruto licked his lips that felt suddenly dry. Of course, Gaara had to open his eyes and catch him staring.

It was a fraction of an expression on the redhead's face, but it got Naruto feel more exposed than ever.

"I―I wonder what's for supper."

"Porridge and eggs."

"Yum. My mole-stomach can't wait any longer. Let's go eat," Naruto said hastily and kicked the blanket away.

"Your appetite is definitely not the one of a mole," Gaara said wryly.

Naruto stopped his haste and said with a book-smart voice, "Did you know moles can eat food as much as they weigh?"

Gaara stared at him with amusement. "That doesn't sound right. I'm sure it applies to only you."

"But it's true. Now, the one who's first in the kitchen is the winner," Naruto replied.

"I'm not participating," the redhead said right away.

"But you don't even know what's the prize," the blond said in a fake-hurt voice.

"Still I'm not participating," was the stern reply. "We're too old for things like that."

"You sound like a grumpy grandpa, Gaara," the blond smiled and dodged the pillow thrown in his way.


	6. Private Universe

**\+ + + Schizotypal + + +**

 **Disclaimer:** _I don't own 'Naruto' and I make no money from these writings._

 **A/N:** _Thanks again to everyone who has read, reviewed, faved or alerted. :) This chapter wasn't the easiest one to write. I hope you enjoy._

* * *

 **Chapter 6: Private Universe**

During the following weeks Naruto had witnessed how the worried crease between Kankuro's brows had slowly melted away. The brunette's shoulders had come down an inch and every now and then, he could hear the man humming quietly.

Gaara on the other hand hadn't renewed his old scars. Instead, he had let his arms heal and by now, the angry red glare that had so often peeked from under his sleeves was nothing but a dull-hued evidence of once broken skin.

Ever since Gaara's tendencies had come to light, Naruto had kept on spending all his nights with him, as well as the hours of daylight he wasn't working. No matter how much he enjoyed being there for his friend, the lack of privacy had put some unexpected obstacles on his daily life.

Not only was his strong need for solitude tested, making him cranky from time to time, but masturbating had also turned out almost impossible. Recently he had found some joy out of brief moments of self-care while in the shower. The sense of rush and secrecy kind of flattened his experience, but it was better than nothing.

Now it was almost evening and Naruto was sitting under a shady apple tree, in his special hiding place he imagined only he knew of. In the distance, Kankuro and Gaara were washing their black, shiny Audi. As the older brother drew the younger one into one-arm hug in passing, and Gaara let the contact continue longer than two seconds, Naruto concluded that a more lasting peace had settled in between the two.

Washing a car was a futile thing to do, in Naruto's opinion. His old faithful vehicle was covered in dust and grime so thick it actually worked like a layer of wax by now. Washing his precious Felicia hadn't even crossed his mind for years, and he was sure that such irresponsible act could actually damage his cherished set of wheels.

So when Gaara swatted a soapy sponge on the Škoda's windshield and made movements which alarmingly looked like he was trying to _wash_ it, Naruto quickly collected his belongings and rushed to the scene.

"Oh, I didn't know you were around," Gaara said calmly as he noticed him approaching.

"Stop," Naruto commanded and halted in front of the apple of his eye, out of breath.

Gaara stopped all movement but didn't detach the sponge from the window. With a stoic face he regarded the blond next to him. "It's a miracle how you can see through the glass. Look at how dusty it is."

Naruto stared at the one single clean spot in his car. "Well I like it the way it is. Besides, the dust filters some of the sunlight so it's easier to see where I'm going."

"They invented sunglasses for that. In my opinion your car is a threat to traffic safety the way it is," Gaara argued. He evaluated the agitated blond for a moment before he suggested. "I'd feel safer in this thing you call a car, if the windows were actually see-through. Maybe then we could go for a ride someday?"

With a sigh, Naruto gave in. "Alright. You can wash the windows. But only the windows – stay away from everything else, got it?"

Something akin to a smile appeared on Gaara's face but quickly, he turned away and lazily began to clean the glassy surfaces. There was foam in his red hair and the hem of his shirt was wet, but the guy seemed to be unaware of those things.

It didn't escape Naruto's observation how his pale fingers squeezed the sponge, or how the redhead bent down to slowly rinse that said sponge in a water bucket.

Later on, Naruto wasn't sure how long he stood there watching his friend at work, but when Kankuro cleared his throat somewhere nearby, he was startled out of his thoughts. Feeling suddenly bare, Naruto turned away and hurried to the house.

In his room, he sat at his desk and stared dreamily out of the window. However, it seemed his imagination always guided him away from what he was actually seeing.

Only when the night was falling he realized how long he had been sitting there. A light knock at his door startled him out of his musings.

"Come in."

Of course, it was none other than Gaara, bringing the smell of car wax into the room. Naruto kept on looking out of the window.

"There are pancakes for supper," Gaara informed.

"I'm not hungry."

"You're not hungry? Something must be wrong then," the redhead said and closed the door behind him.

"Nothing's wrong," Naruto denied quickly. "I'm just not in the mood for pancakes, that's all."

"Never heard that one before," Gaara said and walked to him slowly. "First you let me wash your car and then you turn down Kankuro's cooking. Something is definitely wrong with you."

"Just drop the subject, okay?" Naruto said determinedly and crouched in his chair even more.

"You've been acting strange lately," Gaara pointed out as he lazily lay down on Naruto's bed. "Stranger than usual, that is," he added as an afterthought as he studied the blond and the little cactus on his desk. "You can talk to me if you want to. I'm not used to you being the quieter one."

Naruto sighed. With smothered interest, he eyed the redhead and his long legs that reached all the way to the foot of the bed. There was no room for him in there, Naruto realized. Absentmindedly, Gaara reached for his foot and pulled down his sock to scratch an itch. In that fleeting moment, all Naruto noticed was ivory skin and the bony knobs on his ankle.

After that ankle was once again hidden from his view, he let his gaze travel along the guy's legs to his stomach, where he stopped for a second or two, until he met Gaara's studying stare.

"Your shirt is wet," Naruto said flatly.

Without saying a word, Gaara sat up and undressed his shirt. Lazily, he threw it on the floor and then went to Naruto's dresser to get a new one. After some shuffling he settled for blue, long-sleeved one. Like it was his own he put it on, and then lay down on the bed again as if his comfy rest had never been interrupted.

Naruto's eye twitched as he glanced at _his_ blue shirt and Gaara's one on the floor. "Are you just going to leave it there?"

"Maybe I am, just like you do with your socks in my room," the redhead said calmly.

With a shake of his head, the blond let out a small laugh and drummed the desk with his fingers. "Are you just going to keep on borrowing my clothes without asking my permission?"

"Hmm, maybe. But you can keep your briefs to yourself. They're too small for me anyway," Gaara quipped cockily.

Naruto's eye twitched again and he clenched his fist in agitation. The guy had some nerve. "Just make sure you don't fall asleep and drool on that shirt. You have a habit of doing that, did you know it? And also, you snore."

Jade eyes narrowed and almost immediately Gaara touched the corner of his mouth with a hint of embarrassment.

Naruto grinned and felt way more at ease with this half-grumpy Gaara than the other version of him he had witnessed only moments ago. But his glee was not long-lived, as his friend retorted in a similar way.

"Well you burp while you eat. And more than once you've had food stains on your face after dinner."

Naruto blushed and turned his head away. "At least I'm not the one who drinks out of milk carton. Other people have to use it too, you know?"

"You have an annoying habit of dropping your used handkerchiefs on the floor. Did you know there's a bin for that?" was the redhead's quick remark. "Added to that, you leave your clothes lying around and if you loan something from me, you never bother putting it back in place."

Naruto huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I get that, yes, I'm messy. But at least I don't have a compulsive need of having things in a certain way."

"That's interesting, coming from a person who insists on keeping his wreck of a car in filth so thick it's practically corroding the paint away," Gaara said back at him.

Naruto gasped and leaned back in his chair. "Well, your fussiness is close to unhealthy!"

"And you cuddle when you sleep," Gaara said.

Naruto paled and something tightened in his stomach. "I―I don't do that! And even if I did, you would be the last person I'd cuddle."

"Is that so?" Gaara only replied calmly. "One would think otherwise."

"A-And what do you m-mean by that?" Naruto stuttered and squeezed the armrest with whitening knuckles.

"Nothing," Gaara simply replied and shrugged in the most annoying way possible.

"Get out of my room," the blond said through gritted teeth and turned his back to the bed and the annoying human being lying in there.

Behind his back, Gaara got up from the bed. And just as quietly, he walked to the door and left.

Naruto buried his head in his arms and clenched his fists into angry balls. The wooden scent of the table got him momentarily distracted from the stupid smell of car wax that still floated in the air. Honestly, he had no appreciation for the memory of Gaara getting himself wet and soapy in order to get his dirtier than dirty car even somewhat presentable.

He gave a quick thought to his parents doing _it_. It always worked like a bucket of cold water. A bucket where pale hand squeezed a sponge, lifting it up, and then swatting the wet thing against bare, pale chest, black-rimmed eyes half-lidded and full of desire… Shit.

With something akin to frustration, Naruto glared at his empty bed like the annoying redhead was still there. Even when the guy wasn't present, he still succeeded to taint his innocent thoughts in most outrageous ways possible.

However difficult it was, he pressed his fingertip against the sharp end of his cactus' hooked spines. With that welcomed distraction, he sighed in content and stared out of the window, at the clear sky, at anywhere but the well-kept bushes and flowerbeds down below.

When the sting on his finger lost its thrill, his thoughts returned to his irritating friend.

But instead of letting his frustration proceed further, he buried his head in his arms. The best he could do now was to get detached from the storm of emotions swirling inside his head. In that private position time stopped altogether and all there was left was a sense of comfort. Later on, he wasn't sure how many minutes he spent in that way.

Knock, knock.

The sound at his door startled him and hastily he straightened up from his hunched position. A second later Gaara stepped into his room, carrying a tray.

Very straightforwardly he lowered the tray on the desk in front of Naruto. There were pancakes with syrup and blueberries, accompanied with a glass of ice cold orange juice. The blond's stomach grumbled as the sweet, sweet smell of food wafted into his nose.

"Who's drooling now?" Gaara quipped and claimed his earlier place on the bed.

But Naruto was too busy to give a remark as he grabbed the fork and knife and cut through the delicious goody. It was not only the mouth-watering scent, but the texture of the pancake and the way it melted in his mouth into sugary sweetness that got his stomach roar even louder.

After he had eaten, he pushed the tray away and burped, only to cover his mouth right after and glance sheepishly at Gaara, who only shook his head.

"I thought you'd be hungry. You were getting really grumpy," Gaara said after a while. "I lived with a diabetic for so long that I've learned to read the signs of low blood sugar. Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah."

With his stomach full and the sweet memory of Kankuro's cooking on his tongue, he couldn't stay mad at his friend. Even after their childish argument, his friend had cared enough to bring him supper.

"Thanks. I mean, sorry for the things I said. I don't really mind your snoring, or if you borrow my clothes," Naruto said quietly.

There was a soft expression on Gaara's face. "I don't care if you burp. And I have to admit I might be wearing your boxers at the moment, sorry."

Naruto shook his head in disbelief. Honestly, he was not sure if they were close enough for a thing like that.

"Well, anyway," the blond started and drummed the desk with his fingers quickly. "I think we should go to bed. It's getting late."

"Your room or mine?" the redhead asked.

Naruto didn't like the sound of that phrasing. For some reason, this time it made him slightly more nervous than usually. "Er, what would you say if we went for a ride instead?"

"At this hour?"

"Well, the windows are see-through now. And I could use a breath of fresh air," Naruto replied.

Gaara shrugged after some consideration. "Alright."

Sun was setting and it was getting dark. The headlights of Naruto's car were oddly brighter as they cut through the dusk, and briefly he wondered what had happened to them. Added to that, those yellow leaves and little rocks he'd been collecting on the car floor were nowhere in sight, and he couldn't help but wonder about their absence. He glanced at the redhead sitting quietly next to him, and when the guy returned his stare, his foot on the gas pedal became strangely heavier.

They parked the car near secluded lake. Sky was colored with orange and navy stripes as setting sun made its way deeper into the horizon. The sight was beautiful, almost unusually so. Naruto spread a quilt over the soft sands on the beach and they sat down, admiring the colors that seemed to glow just for them.

Gaara went through his bag and took out a bottle of what seemed to be red wine.

"Oh god," Naruto sighed in exasperation. "No."

"Why not?" Gaara asked and screwed the cork open.

"Er, I'm driving. Did you forget that?" the blond reminded as the scent of alcohol wafted into his nose.

"Why don't we stay the night in here? You don't have work tomorrow," the redhead replied casually. "We can sleep in the car."

"Really?" Naruto asked doubtfully. "That doesn't sound like a good plan."

"Here," the redhead said and gave him the bottle.

Naruto eyed it with suspicion. It was an inexpensive brand and would probably taste just horrible. But when he noticed the strange way his friend was staring at him, he quickly sipped the cheap wine, disappointed he had not been wrong about the quality.

"Have you been feeling better lately?"

"Yes. I've been thinking a lot," Gaara admitted. His searching gaze lingered on Naruto. "Maybe there's something worthwhile in this life, after all."

The blond took another gulp, trying to pay no attention to his own interpretations.

Warm breeze traveled through the beach, rustling hays on its way towards surrounding forests. Naruto blew air to the mouth of the bottle, making a humming sound much like the wind.

"I―I had this friend who got chlamydia once on a beach like this. It was a nasty thing, but after that he started testing himself on a regular basis," Naruto said with slight nervousness and drummed the bottle with his fingers.

"Sounds like your friend learned his lesson," Gaara pondered lazily.

"Y-Yeah, he did."

"I've never had any disease," Gaara told calmly.

Naruto hummed to the bottle quietly, like it was his own private melody. "Me neither."

Just when Naruto was about to discreetly glance at his friend's direction, maybe to check how nicely _his_ blue shirt hugged him, he was surprised to see Gaara had leaned closer. And it seemed his attention was not in his blue eyes, but lower. When Naruto nervously bit his lower lip, that studying gaze lifted from his mouth to his shy eyes.

Wine tasted horrible but it was suddenly important to find something to concentrate on. Gaara took the bottle from him, and in that fleeting moment their fingers touched.

He didn't know why it made his face warm up like this and he was afraid his friend would notice his unnecessary reaction.

When he closed his eyes all he heard was the gulping sound that ended to a metallic noise as Gaara screwed the cork shut. The rustle of the quilt told him the distance between them was vanishing, and maybe by accident Gaara's hand brushed against his.

"T-the stars look nice," Naruto stuttered all of the sudden. "Are they actually brighter in here?"

Gaara didn't seem to give any regard for the heavenly bodies, as he kept on staring at Naruto only.

"Yes," he finally replied, absentmindedly.

Naruto gave him a cautious glance. "It's nice to get out of the house every once in a while, don't you think?"

Gaara nodded but the tension between them didn't melt into friendly comfortableness like Naruto had hoped. If his anxiety was of any indication, he should've wanted to slowly crawl to the tall grass and lie there face down until his faithful panic calmed down. But instead of doing any of that, he found himself leaning closer to his friend.

His attention fixated on the ripped knees of Gaara's jeans. Imagination was already filling in the blanks of his civilized thoughts, and he could almost feel how the fabric would turn into soft skin under his fingertips, if he were to trace his hand along those slender legs.

A touch on his jaw got him to look up, and almost in panic he wondered how readable his private thoughts might be. Wind ruffled Gaara's hair and hid his tattoo. Even then, he looked nothing like an ordinary person. He would always be something unique, something true, and in a rush of courage, he let his gaze drop to his lips, before coming back to check what was there in his aquamarine eyes.

It felt like Gaara could see the depths of his soul, and in a strong fit of shyness Naruto leaned away and lay down on the quilt. The idea of hiding in the grass came back, tempting.

To his joy, the bottle was uncorked again and when it was given to him, he gladly accepted it. Wine was drank until only a little of it was left. A collection of shiny stars had conquered the depths of the skies, and they lay admiring them in silence.

"What the hell are we doing here," Naruto finally muttered and then laughed, gesturing at his surroundings until his arm fell limply by his side.

"Look at us," the blond said like it was supposed to be something funny. "Here we are, wasting our lives and drinking something that barely resembles wine. People our age are having kids, careers, and their shit together."

Gaara put his arms behind his head and considered his friend's words. "True. But I wouldn't change this for that."

"What? Why?" Naruto asked, surprised.

But Gaara didn't elaborate. Instead he only smiled mysteriously as he studied the far-away stars.

Naruto huffed good-heartedly and continued his musings. "At least I would like to have my shit together. You know," he started, and wondered if he was acting too bold and if he regretted it later, "Just a while ago I felt so anxious I actually thought of hiding in the grass."

Gaara's interest was in him now, unblinking and somber. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," Naruto laughed and tried to turn it into a joke.

"Was it because of something I did?" Gaara asked with concern and propped himself up on his arm.

"It's just the way I am," Naruto squirmed and waved the topic off with his hand. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I'm sorry," Gaara said and lowered his head in what seemed to be shame. "I feel like an idiot."

"Hey, no – what are you saying?" the blond asked and furrowed his brow.

"We shouldn't have come here. And I shouldn't have brought that awful wine. I should've realized how nervous you've been lately, and that forcing you to spend the night in here must've made you feel trapped," Gaara explained and glared at the almost empty bottle.

"No, that's not how I see it," Naruto pointed out and took hold of his friend's hand. "And it was my idea to come here in the first place, remember?"

The redhead stared at him in surprise, until his expression melted into worry. "I should have said no."

"To be truthful, I didn't mind what you were doing," Naruto confessed shyly. "Maybe I can say I liked it, the way you touched my face. But physical closeness is something I don't get easily used to, so I'm sorry if I freaked out."

"Don't be sorry for something like that," Gaara whispered and squeezed his hand.

For an answer, Naruto smiled slightly and sensually traced his finger along the back of Gaara's hand. But then his courage vanished again and he dropped his gaze.

This time, the redhead touched his jaw and gently lifted Naruto's face up. The blond's heart skipped a beat at the dreamy look in his friend's eyes. When the warm caress left his cheek, he was left without guidance. But like metal to magnet, he leaned closer to the redhead.

Maybe it was because of his anticipation, or due to his anxiety, but the EKG of his heart was a straight, fearful line until the moment his lips touched Gaara's.

And in that sweet, blissful contact his heart woke up and the previously dead line was now a happy zigzag that made him breathless.

Oh, how his lips were soft! And that almost shy gasp that escaped from him made Naruto dizzy from emotions. He forgot about himself, about his anxiety and constant self-inspection, and only concentrated on feeling those sweet, soft lips that were kissing him just as eagerly. Gaara held his cheeks while leaning closer to Naruto, and in that moment it felt like the most natural thing to let him topple him.

When the redhead broke free from the kiss, Naruto was almost disappointed. And his opinion maybe shone clearly from his face, given how amusement took over Gaara's features before he buried his face in the crook of Naruto's neck.

Gaara's warm breath against his throat made him shiver, and he entwined his arms around him. Every cell in his muscles was trembling and it had definitely nothing to do with the chill of the night. The warm body partly on top of him got his earlier doubts disappear into big black box of oblivion, and all there was left was the titillating buzz of anticipation.

A tender kiss below his ear made Naruto gasp and he pressed the redhead against him more tightly. His eyes were long closed, and all there was in the world for him right now was that sensitive touch of those lips.

He could've let it continue forever, but then his friend leaned away.

Against the night sky, Gaara looked like from another world. The idea of this all being just a very lucid dream visited Naruto again, and the desperation that followed made him pull back his friend.

But Gaara' didn't budge. Instead he sat up altogether and averted his gaze.

Naruto stared at him. Suddenly he was cold again. Agitation was living high in his body and thoughts of rejection came to him as he realized the redhead was not going to return into his embrace.

"Are you going to leave it at that?" Naruto finally asked with hurt as he sat up and pulled his knees closer to his body.

Gaara looked at him and nodded slowly. Naruto squeezed the quilt in his hands.

"Why?"

"I don't want you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you," the redhead explained.

"And why would I think something like that?"

But Gaara didn't give an answer, only a knowing look that left Naruto puzzled.

Longing for his warmth and the magic of that sensitive moment, Naruto crawled closer to Gaara. A look into the jade eyes told him he could stay, that his presence was perhaps desired but that he was here at his own risk from now on. Shyly, Naruto leaned closer and suddenly the scent of pine needles was in the air, fresh and alluring.

Like his fingers were suddenly magnetic, he found the chains on Gaara's jeans. Their soft jingle was the only sound in the night, and rather than it being an alarm, Naruto liked to think it was there to replace the sleeping crickets. With feigned innocence he followed the line of chains all the way up until he reached the waistband they were connected to. From there, his hand dived under Gaara's shirt.

"Naruto," he gasped and leaned closer.

It was almost innocent how quickly it happened, but soon Gaara was lying on his back with Naruto on top of him. With eager kisses the blond re-mapped the redhead's jawline all the way to his throat. Curious hands found their way under the blond's shirt and into the redhead's hair with feverish intensity.

Naruto gasped as Gaara squeezed his behind with all but shy innuendo. Butterflies in his stomach got wild as they fluttered and then they turned into tiny little explosions that got his loins on fire. There was nothing under the open sky for him now but the frantic redhead eagerly pulling him closer.

No other thought could fit into Naruto's head but how sweet Gaara's heated whispers sounded to his ear. He couldn't get enough of that red, black, jade but he needed to breathe, and reluctantly he leaned away and sat his behind on Gaara's lap. Blush colored his face the moment he noticed something hard in there, and that something turned the spark in his loins into flame.

Gaara sat up and squeezed Naruto's hips teasingly. And soon his arms were around the blond again, anchoring them together under the full moon. Gaara looked up into his blue eyes with all but tranquil air.

With equal restlessness Naruto gazed down into those vivid jade depths he could surely get lost in. As tempting as his eyes, were his parted lips whose softness he had more than once pondered in the secret rooms of his mind. Without hesitation, Naruto leaned his head down and pressed his lips against Gaara's.

His fingers tenderly tucked at the red locks and when his tongue touched Gaara's teeth, the redhead gasped and then shyly brushed his tongue against Naruto's. Each little kiss was like a spark into gasoline that had filled Naruto's heart to the brim. And then he was already lying under Gaara, and that sweet, promising erection was once again pressed against him.

"Haah," Naruto breathed and pulled him closer, no matter how impossible it was to lessen that already nonexistent space between them.

"Someone's excited," Gaara teased.

"You are, too," the blond pointed out.

"Definitely," the redhead murmured with his velvet voice and anticipation convulsed Naruto's stomach.

At first their kisses were calm and probing but soon they turned into more feverish and uncontrolled. Again, hands found their way under clothes, in the locks of unruly hair and in the back pockets of Gaara's tight jeans.

Even when Naruto closed his eyes, all he could imagine was ivory and red and a flicker of jade before it closed behind eyelids as black as the night surrounding them. In this surreal moment, all that existed for him were the soft sighs in between their fervent kisses and the incomprehensible connection between his heart and the one beating right above him.

He was hot and feverish and the coincidental chill in his bones had nothing to do with the dropping temperature. Naruto kept on bucking his hips upwards just to get the maximum feel of that heated, hard body on top of him. Gaara's velvet sighs in his ear and on his skin turned his usually well-behaved hormones into cacophonic, screaming mess, and in that state of mind all he wanted to do was to explode this tension out of his body, into the vast universe surrounding them.

"Do you have any lube and condoms with you?" Naruto asked shyly.

Gaara stopped what he was doing and looked at him questioningly. "Why would I carry things like that with me?"

"Well… you brought wine," the blond said with growing shame.

Gaara lowered his face to Naruto's neck and kissed the spot below his ear. "It takes a little more than wine and a moonlit beach to get me there."

"Yeah, I get it," the blond replied with reddened cheeks. "Sorry."

"Don't be," the redhead whispered and kissed him on the lips. "It's kind of shame, really. I would've loved to feel you clench around my fingers."

"U-Uh-huh," Naruto breathed as the tingling sensation in his groin intensified again. When Gaara pressed his hard dick against him teasingly, he couldn't help but moan in frustration.

"If you want to, I can suck you for a while until you see stars and start screaming my name," the redhead said suddenly, and his hot breath ghosted on the blond's ear.

"Haa… yes," Naruto said and pressed his erection against Gaara as if to prove his want.

Slowly and sensually, Gaara let his hands travel down along Naruto's body until he was at the waistband of his jeans. Through the thick fabric, he squeezed Naruto's rock hard cock and then had the audacity to smirk when the blond squirmed. Gaara opened the buttons one by one with admirable patience, however this time Naruto didn't share his preference for such snail pace.

Naruto groaned and felt like a ticking time bomb, and each sensual caress on his aching erection could be the one to set him off. In the back of his mind, he could already hear the steady beeps as seconds went by and the digital, red numbers got closer to zero.

Only when Gaara pulled down his briefs and his warm erection was greeted by chilly night air, did he fully realize what they were about to do.

"Please," Naruto whispered and soon the coldness of the air was only a distinct memory, as Gaara took him into his mouth.

"Ah―" the blond gasped and dug his nails in the sand. The tension building up inside of him was in the verge of exploding already. He wasn't sure if the little lights he saw were the stars above, or an overture to his oncoming burst. With each eager suck, with each rub of tongue against his sensitive cock, Gaara made the red numbers scurry faster towards a neat row of blinking zeros.

And suddenly the nightly universe was all but quiet around him. It was filled with slurping sounds and alarming beeps, with low drum of his heart and with gagged sighs coming from Gaara's way that pushed him closer towards the inevitable edge of fulfillment. The night was full of moans and high-pitched gasps and encouraging halves of words Naruto was unable to finish off.

The flame in his groin got whiter and hotter and his hands grasped the soft sands, and instead of shutting his eyes tightly like usually, he now wanted nothing more than to look at the redhead sucking him off. He refused to admit ever having imagined this, but even so he knew no feeble thought could've ever prepared him for the intensity of feelings Gaara was able to draw out of him.

"Oh fuck, G-Gaara…" Naruto moaned with increasing passion. "I'm going to c-come."

Gaara replied with fastening his pace. His earlier, snail-slow way of building up anticipation was long abandoned and Naruto wondered if the redhead had a way of feeling the fire that burned under his skin.

"Ah, ah―! Gaar-ah!" Naruto gasped loudly as the pleasure grew and grew until it was too much, and he fell through the hole of a zero into sweet, fulfilling darkness. And behind his eyelids, he could see the blanket of twinkling stars.

He was in that heavenly place for some blissful, humming moments. Gaara's lips were still around his sensitive, softening dick as he gently let him come back from the bliss. When the last whimpers and moans coming from Naruto's direction had died down into content breaths, the redhead buttoned up his jeans.

"That was something," Naruto admitted and looked at Gaara, who was now washing away the aftertaste with wine.

"Glad you liked it," Gaara replied and screwed the cork shut again.

The universe was quiet again apart from the low drum of tension that pulled them closer to each other, like they were magnets and metal.

Naruto crawled closer to Gaara on all fours, with a sly expression on his face. He tasted the wine on his lips when they kissed one, two, four times. Gaara sighed and the flame flickered back to life inside of Naruto.

Now Gaara was lying on his back on the quilt, giving Naruto freedom to return the favor in any way he felt comfortable with. And without hesitation Naruto used that freedom to pull up Gaara's shirt. His ghost-like skin felt warm, almost hot under his hands, and by now there was no mistaking him for a product of his imagination.

Gaara was very much real and he was clearly enjoying his hands on his skin. With encouraging sighs he urged Naruto to keep on placing those assertive, endearing kisses on his bare upper body. To see the redhead's unrestrained anticipation was like a canister of gasoline thrown into the blazing fire that burned in his heart. There was no doubt Gaara was beautiful and desirable in every way, no matter what he had told himself until now. And to have someone as divine wait for his touch got Naruto's hands tremble with excitement.

"If you want to, I can show you a few constellations, too."

"Please do," Gaara replied and closed his eyes.

That red and black on ivory and that faint, shy blush was without doubt the most enchanting sight Naruto had had the pleasure of seeing in a while. All thoughts flew away from his mind except the desire of making Gaara let go of his usually reserved demeanor and throw him into the depths of uncontrolled, fulfilling emotions.

With trembling hands Naruto unzipped Gaara's tight jeans, glancing at his way in order to confirm this was alright. But when Naruto lowered his attention back to Gaara's clothing, he was surprised to see familiar, cartoonish heart-pattern greet him innocently.

"You really are wearing my boxers," the blond huffed with amusement. "You really wanted to get into my pants, did you?" he teased as he lowered them slowly.

"It was an accident," Gaara explained quietly, like he was ashamed.

"Is that so?" Naruto only said and started to stroke the redhead's hard cock in a calm rhythm.

"Nnaah," Gaara moaned and closed his eyes.

Anticipation was mixing with restrained pleasure and it was all readable on Gaara's tight facial features. Quilt squeezed into his fists, the redhead stretched his slender legs until his whole body was tense like a string of an instrument. And Naruto liked to think he played that instrument rather well, if those half-swallowed moans growing louder and more frequent were of any indication.

By accident, he made some slurping sounds and the redhead's dick got even harder between his lips. To feel Gaara's honest reaction to something he'd done made the butterflies in Naruto's stomach turn into demanding warps that made his pants tighter.

Twirls of tongue against the tip of his penis got Gaara arch his back and when a series of sucking sensations followed, he let out a sound Naruto had never heard before ― a high-pitched, loaded cry.

As much as he could, Naruto liked to observe the redhead's shattering shell as it fell away piece by piece. By now, Gaara had long ago lost his blank of an expression, only to have it replaced by primitive desire he couldn't hold in. With his face twisted up in heated pleasure, Gaara looked absolutely desirable and Naruto gave his dick a few stronger sucks just to see when he would reach a certain point and let go of the quilt.

And almost right after, Gaara's shaking hands fumbled Naruto's blond, spiky locks until his fingers entwined in his hair.

"Aah, Naru―" the redhead moaned in his absolutely lovely, high-pitched kind of way.

With a turned-on gasp that however came out as a frenetic hum against Gaara's cock, Naruto responded to the sounds escaping from the redhead's lovely, desirable lips. Gaara's balls got closer to his body and he arched his back, waiting for the waves to crash against his feeble ship.

"Shit, Naruto," he managed to whisper as he gripped his blond hair more tightly, like by doing that he would somehow ease the burning titillation that was eating him alive.

But the blond only sighed in response, taking as much dick into his mouth as he could. Gaara let out a frustrated, heated sigh and his cock twitched in Naruto's mouth, a memory the blond was sure would beautifully torment him in the future. The tenser Gaara got, the faster he sucked him, and when he saw the redhead's mouth open in silent scream, he knew it was only a matter of seconds.

"F-Fu― I'm c-coming N-Naru―to," Gaara cried and his fingers dug into the blond's scalp with desperation that got imaginary fanfares play in Naruto's head.

Never before had he seen Gaara unravel so purely, so beautifully, and never had he dared to imagine it would look as arousing as it did. There were no stone walls, no barriers or hidden emotions this time – all he was currently going through showed on his face with rewarding clarity.

And while victorious fanfares faded away and Gaara's erratic moans melted into deep breaths, Naruto kept on caressing his dick with slow, tender moves of his mouth. Only when the fingers in his scalp let go and the complete relaxation of Gaara's body got shades of conscious tenseness, did Naruto lean away.

Without really looking at what he was doing – for the sweetly unraveled redhead was far too interesting to look at – Naruto pulled up the heart-patterned boxers and zipped up his jeans.

Like the redhead, Naruto washed his mouth with some wine after wiping his mouth on his sleeve. On the quilt, Gaara looked absolutely spent as he breathed heavily with half-closed eyes. Maybe he was still seeing those stars, or feeling that wonderful, incomprehensible weightlessness of the whole universe.

"So… do you want to cuddle now or what?" Naruto asked playfully.

Gaara flashed him a weak smile and sat up. "Maybe we should get in the car. It's getting cold in here."

They gathered their belongings and headed to the car. After releasing some of that wine back to the nature, they settled in the back seat with their empty bladders.

Instantly, Naruto glued himself on the redhead's side and Gaara let him. Springy hormones still buzzing inside him, the blond caressed his friend's clothed chest in a tender way. And it seemed Gaara was under the same influence, as his hand was somehow under Naruto's shirt, caressing his lower back in a teasing manner.

"So, what's going to happen next?" Naruto asked, suddenly serious. "Are we going to get married, get 2.5 kids and a golden retriever?"

Gaara snorted and patted him on the back.

"But I'm serious," the blond said again, inspecting the zipper on Gaara's jacket. Then, he turned his blue eyes into the jade depths that were studying him with unexpected seriousness.

"What would you like to happen?" Gaara asked back.

In the darkening night, in the shadows of the back seat, the redhead had all but lost his earlier charm that had crashed over Naruto like a tidal wave. The titillating knots in his stomach tightened and the sense of supernatural magnetism visited his thoughts again.

"I really like you, Gaara," the blond told truthfully, then quickly averted his gaze. He kept on wearing out the redhead's chest with his stubborn stare. "I like being around you. You make me feel good. And what just happened… I'd like it to happen again."

When the redhead replied nothing to his confession, Naruto glanced up timidly. Gaara was staring at him with same graveness as before.

"I like you too. So much that it scares me," the redhead said quietly, but it was without that bubbling happiness that fluttered in Naruto's chest. "You'll get hurt. I know it. And I was selfish to get you involved."

"What are you saying?" Naruto whispered and held the redhead's jacket with his hands. The cool leather in between his trembling fingers somewhat calmed down his emotions, which were spiraling out of control at a good speed.

"Naruto, you're very special. And even if I knew how to make you feel good physically, I'm not sure if I can treat you right on an emotional level. I'm not a good choice if you're looking for a healthy relationship," Gaara said quietly.

"Well neither am I," the blond tried to chuckle, attempting to lift up the heavy mood. "We just have to see what it'll be like."

"How can you be so optimistic?" the redhead asked. The blond's hold on his jacket tightened.

"Because I have you. That's why. And whatever life has in store for me, for us, I want to face it with you by my side," Naruto told. "And I want to make you feel better. You make me feel better."

Gaara gazed at him softly, almost sadly. "I'm afraid I'm going to drag you down, too, and only make you feel worse."

"Nonsense," Naruto said reassuringly. "And don't you try to make any good decisions on my behalf. I'll do them by myself."

"You're horribly stubborn, did you know that?" Gaara said wryly, yet the corners of his mouth were slightly upturned.

"You keep on reminding me," the blond laughed feebly and his hands dived under Gaara's jacket, until they met again behind his back. Naruto was now leaning against the redhead's chest like a strong magnet. As time passed, Gaara relaxed and the earlier doubt seemed to let go of him. Naruto lifted up his head and kissed him on the lips.

"Was I any good, you know, down on the beach? Or was I just horrible?" Naruto timidly asked the thing that had twirled in his thoughts for some time now.

Gaara shook his head in amusement. "Why would you even think something like that?"

"Because way back, you said I was the worst," Naruto reminded him, and his hurt pride was once again present in the background.

"I lied," Gaara replied quietly. "I've lied to you more than once, to be honest."

"Really?" the blond asked with genuine surprise. "What do you mean?"

Gaara glanced at him darkly, tiredly, and then leaned his head against the cool window. "Well… For starters, my neighbor wasn't twenty like I told you earlier. And it was not just a one-time thing to get this very cool tattoo," he added with self-irony.

"Okay?" the blond replied, waiting for more.

"He was not a son living with his parents, but a man in his forties who owned that house. And when things got unbearable at home, I moved in with him. Father was outraged," Gaara said and snorted at something only he found funny.

"That's…" Naruto trailed off and stared at his friend in shock. "I mean, isn't that―"

"Yes, it is," Gaara finished his sentence and shook his head. "But I didn't care, and I let it happen, because being with a man over twice my age was better than staying under the same roof with my family."

It was a sad story, one that made Naruto want to console his friend even more. It wasn't just sadness that swirled in his chest – it was something warmer and deeper. "How did it end?"

But Gaara only stared out of the window. Then, he turned to the blond again. "Can we change the subject?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Naruto whispered quickly. "What do you want to talk about?"

Gaara drummed his fingers against the window but stopped as he noticed the cringe on Naruto's face. "What is it in this car that makes you so attached to it?"

"This was Iruka's car," the blond replied with unmistakable respect for his late foster-father. Gaara lowered his hand and didn't dare to drum the window or any other surface anymore. Naruto gave him a tiny, feeble smile. "As long as I have this car, it feels like a part of him is still alive and with me."

"Oh, Naruto…" the redhead said and pulled him closer. Naruto lay in his friends arms and let him smooth his blond hair.

"When he died, I wasn't left with much money. After the funeral costs, I had enough for two month's rent. Eventually I was forced to hit the road," Naruto said and made it sound like an exciting journey. For an answer, Gaara only ruffled his hair in a worried way. "It was just me and Felicia for a while. But then I met someone, and I got to move in with them, and I had food and a bed and a shower."

"Did you try to contact social services or some other institution?" the redhead asked curiously.

"Yeah, at first I did. But I was told to get a job, since I was seventeen – almost eighteen in a few weeks – and they thought I could take care of myself," Naruto replied with a sarcastic snort. "They didn't know shit."

"People never do," Gaara knew and patted him on the back with a sad little smile on his face.

"I never got a job, thanks for having no proper education or enough prior experience to qualify even for the easiest of jobs. There was always someone slightly better than me."

Gaara nodded in understanding. "To me it sounds like you were practically homeless."

"I wasn't. I had this car. And I had girlfriends and boyfriends who were kind enough to put a roof over my head," Naruto defended. "And when they grew tired of me and kicked me out, it never took long until I found another place. Believe me, back then I was young and pretty and scar-less."

"Naruto…" the redhead whispered with sadness. "That doesn't sound good at all. And it sounds more than a handful to me."

The blond blushed and nodded. "I know. I haven't been really truthful, either. Sorry. And I know you might judge me, but please believe me, I had no energy to get my shit together back then. And I was sick with living in this vehicle. At nights, I felt unsafe and when someone offered me a better place, it was easier to just drop my pants and bend over in exchange, if you know what I mean?"

Gaara shook his head in disbelief. "Well, you've come a long way. You have a job and money now, and a safe place to live in."

"And I have you as my special person," Naruto grinned.

"Life is good for you, isn't it?" Gaara replied wryly and ruffled his hair again.

"It sure is," the blond replied with a luminous smile, before a sadder expression took place.

They lounged like that in silence for a long time, until faint patter of rain alerted them from their tranquil rest. The rain turned heavier and it got even darker. Temperature dropped inside the car, and Naruto pressed tighter against Gaara, who pulled the quilt from the front seat and spread it over them both.

In the morning, they woke up to the exuberant chirping of birds. Once again, the world was unmistakably real and present. No bit of the nightly magic was left in the air as Naruto gazed around the secluded beach and the traces still visible on the sand.

* * *

When she spoke, Naruto hung onto her every word like each of them was something incredibly important. As he leaned closer to Sakura, he felt a tiny tug on the loop of his jeans. Quickly, he turned to look at Gaara, who only stared at him somberly. Unlike he had expected, the redhead didn't release him.

Naruto and Gaara had been grocery shopping and come home to this delightful surprise: Sakura's unexpected visit. Lately, she had been oddly quiet at work and blamed it on being busy. When Naruto had asked what was taking up her time, she always changed the subject.

Now in their homey kitchen, Kankuro had busied himself with preparation of tea, leaving the three of them sitting at the table. Given how super-silent the redhead currently was, the task of entertaining their guest had fallen on Naruto's shoulders alone.

"Is that perfume new, Sakura-chan?" Naruto smiled and leaned closer again to get a better whiff of that musky scent.

A finger on his back pocket got him to lean away and he chuckled nervously to nothing in particular. Kankuro gave them a studying glance before getting back to what he was doing.

"Er, yes I think it is," she replied and smiled politely. But then her gaze shifted from Naruto to Gaara, and in a second she was checking her watch. "I'm afraid I have to―"

Honk, honk.

"…get going," she finished when that someone stopped abusing their car horn.

"Is Sasuke here?" Naruto paled and gripped the tablecloth.

"Yes. He came to pick me up," she explained matter-of-factly and gave him another polite smile. "Sorry to cut this so short."

"Don't worry," Naruto tried to cheer her up – why, he had no idea, but it felt like a right thing to do.

With one last glance at Naruto and then Gaara, she left. Kankuro was leaning against the kitchen counter, his back to the room, and if Naruto saw correctly, he was keenly inspecting the ingredients list printed on the pouch of tea.

When the front door slammed shut, he dropped the little bag.

The finger in his back pocket curled but Naruto dared not to react.

* * *

Like a detective, Gaara went through his lilies one by one. Naruto sat on the ground, tapping his phone screen in a slightly bored manner. He was supposed to read the news, yet he constantly caught himself looking at the reserved movements of the redhead.

The sight of him, completely unraveled at the beach, came back to him, and with a blush he stared at his phone.

"What are you doing again?"

"I'm searching for scarlet lily beetles," Gaara explained, his tone indicating he had been repeating this for more than once now. "They cause damage to lilies, as you can see by these leaves."

Naruto mumbled something for response but didn't pay attention to the biology lesson. Today, his red haired friend was not wearing chains. When he crouched in the garden like that, his studded belt did its best to keep his tight jeans up.

He wondered what kind of underwear he was wearing today.

"Would you mind helping me?" Gaara asked and crushed a bug between his fingers.

A mischievous glint lighted up in Naruto's eyes and he crawled to him on all fours. The guy was standing there between flowerbeds, and with a sweet, innocent smile Naruto entwined his arms around his leg. He waited for a reaction, and when Gaara finally glanced down at him, he smiled some more and then kissed the zipper of his jeans.

"Naruto…" he sighed. "Get up."

"But you wanted me to help you. I thought you'd appreciate my efforts," the blond said slyly and slid his hand along his thigh to his behind, finishing his move with not-so-innocent squeeze.

Gaara tried to keep his face blank, but a quiver of amusement was surely there. He sat down on the ground in silent defeat. Without advance warning, the redhead kissed him and soon Naruto found himself lying under him, in between tall flowerbeds.

This was much more interesting in his opinion, no matter how exciting crushing bugs could be. After the days that had followed their little journey to the beach, there had been not many moments of them not getting close to each other. Naruto had gotten much more comfortable with their newfound physical closeness, and his shyness had regressed to a role of an occasional guest.

Of course, this all happened in secret, as neither of them felt yet comfortable enough to reveal their relationship to the world.

"Gaara! Naruto!" someone shouted on the other end of the garden.

"Shit. Get up," Gaara cursed and peeked over the heads of the lilies. "Guess who it is again."

Naruto groaned and straightened his shirt. "With no offence, I can't handle another movie night with your brother."

"I know," the redhead muttered and got back to work, not paying attention to the brown haired figure coming closer.

"Oh, there you are, guys," Kankuro laughed and made it sound like he hadn't just searched through the whole place. Today, he had his shirt inside out, and like yesterday, his hair was still uncombed. "It's a lovely day, isn't it?"

Gaara gave Naruto a side-way glance and the blond had to bite his lip so that he wouldn't burst out laughing. Just hopefully, if neither of them replied, the man would get the hint and leave.

"So, do you have any plans tonight?" Kankuro asked brightly, and before either of them had any chance of replying, he continued his odd monologue. "There's this one movie I've been dying to see. I'm sure you would love it, Naruto."

"U-Um?" the blond said, cursing the fact he had been called out like that. "I―I don't know…"

"It has this one actor you like, what's her name again…" Kankuro muttered and rubbed his chin.

From the corner of his eye, Naruto saw Gaara open his mouth but he knew it was already too late.

"I've made snacks for us. I thought maybe we should start in half an hour, if that's alright with you guys?" the brunette went on and adjusted the watch on his wrist absentmindedly.

"I'm afraid we can't come this time," Gaara said while crushing a bug.

Naruto felt already sorry for the brunette. When he saw a red beetle crawling along the stalk of flower, he had no heart to kill it.

"Maybe some of your friends could hang out with you?" Gaara suggested without averting his attention from the gardening task.

Kankuro chuckled, his laughter oddly light. "Yeah," he said and started to walk back towards the house.

After a few yards, he stopped and turned around. "Oh, Naruto. You have dirt on your hair. And a bug."

* * *

Naruto cursed under his breath and fastened his pace. Out of all the workdays this week, why did it have to be today he had decided to leave his car at home? Regretting his choice, he turned his long strides into run and hoped he wouldn't be late.

Sakura had asked him for a quick coffee after work, and given how quiet she had lately been, Naruto had not dared to decline her offer. For thirty minutes, he had waited for her to open up to no avail. When an unapologetic car honk had echoed on the street, Naruto had followed her out. He only saw a glimpse of that bastard behind the wheel, and the sight almost made him see red. But then she suddenly hugged him and ruffled his hair, making him forget about everything.

Their car had vanished from view long after Naruto realized he was supposed to go home.

His weird mood didn't ease out even when his tired feet slowed down on home yard. He just hoped he wasn't late. But it seemed he wasn't in luck today, as Tenten's station wagon already stood there next to his scabby vehicle.

With rising panic, he tried to see if she was still behind the wheel, when something alarming caught his attention.

Tenten standing on the porch with Gaara.

Naruto paled and hurried closer, no matter how out of breath he already was. With dread he saw her take off her jacket, undoubtedly showing those white scars that ornamented her arms like web of a spider. Given how scarily interested she always seemed to be about his love life, and how glazed her eyes always were whenever he mentioned a thing or two about his boyfriends, seeing her now with Gaara didn't please him at all.

"Hi, Tenten! Gaara!" he laughed nervously as he rushed to the scene. "So you've met… Gaara?" he then asked, his voice audibly fake-happy.

For an answer, Tenten smiled from ear to ear and pinched him on the cheek. Naruto kept his uneasy grin in place, not yet daring to glance at Gaara's direction.

"We've been talking about you," she announced mischievously.

"R-Really?" Naruto laughed and wiped sweat off his forehead.

"Don't worry, we haven't really talked about you. At all," Tenten said with sudden seriousness that got Naruto off guard. He wasn't sure if this information was supposed to relieve him or not.

Gaara was giving him a blank look, offering no explanation to what she might've meant. Tenten put on her jacket, and it was only then Naruto noticed she was wearing that chest binder again. So, Neji must be out of town again.

"Tenten, let me show you my room," Naruto said and grabbed her arm, grin never faltering. "Gaara must be busy, so I'm afraid he can't come along."

"I'm not busy," Gaara said monotonously.

"He's afraid I'm going to embarrass him," Tenten told the redhead while nudging her head in Naruto's direction.

"I know," Gaara said and the sneaky smile that came to both of their faces only succeeded to fuel Naruto's uneasiness to unforeseen heights.

"By the way, I'm staying for dinner," Tenten informed him matter-of-factly. Naruto's steps slowed. "Your other landlord invited me. He was nice, too."

"So you've met both of my landlords. How nice," Naruto said hollowly and led them to his room.

Tenten jumped on the bed like she owned the place and snatched a bag of candy from the nightstand. Gaara sat down next to her like they had known each other forever, a thing that didn't go unnoticed by Naruto. Absentmindedly, Tenten draped Gaara some candies while she curiously glanced around the room.

Naruto's eyebrow twitched and cautiously he sat down with them. Gaara passed the sweets to him, and slowly his anxiousness started letting go. To his surprise, Tenten was holding a rather civilized conversation with the redhead, nothing like he had feared beforehand.

When the topic turned into self-harm, Naruto adopted the role of a listener. He had never believed Gaara would open up about his issues to a stranger he'd just met, but it seemed his judgment of his character had been wrong in this. Tenten had stories full of anxiety and self-harm, all which Naruto knew by heart. She was a winner, a true warrior of life, and the way she empathetically looked at Gaara while he spoke, made Naruto regret his earlier behavior.

There was soup for dinner. At the kitchen table, Naruto eyed Kankuro warily. Hair uncombed, the man spooned soup into his mouth, barely noticing their guest.

Lately, the older brother had forgotten all about movie nights and snacks, leaving Naruto and Gaara to their own means of killing time.

When Naruto tasted the food, he winced. Someone had not forgotten salt this time, but doubled the amount. It looked like the man noticed no difference, however, given how he was reading that same article from the newspaper as yesterday.


	7. Yellow

**\+ + + Schizotypal + + +**

 **Disclaimer:** _I don't own 'Naruto' and I make no money from these writings._

 **A/N:** _Hello and thank you for your support, thank you for reading! It means a world to me. :D_

 _I had some difficulties with this chapter. As you know the main theme is (besides GaaNaru-ness) mental issues and how you try to cope with them. Since I'm not an expert on knowing how to win against these things, it took me time to guide the characters through their problems at hand. I hope the results look realistic. If not, feel free to correct me and I can make changes on the story._

 _I apologize for my excessive use of commas. I know they might not be grammatically correct in everyplace I throw them into but I just like commas *very much* and I love to scatter them here and there. :3_

 _P.S. I'm currently working on another story which will not be as heavy and depressive as this one, yay! It'll be a Naruto x Gaara story with some Kankuro x Naruto (and some very minor Sakura x Kankuro), and the main theme is homelessness, caring and stuff. :) I hope I'll be soon able to publish it here._

* * *

 **Chapter 7: Yellow**

"Hey," Kankuro greeted him as he entered the kitchen.

Naruto eyed the man and the garment care label sticking up on his neck. He had his shirt inside out again. Judging by the way his hair looked so oily, he had neglected shower for a few days.

"Hi," Naruto mumbled quietly and went straight to the fridge.

Kankuro was scribbling something on a yellow post-it note. Naruto had seen those little things lying around the place recently. The one he had read had been a list of some sort: _Bread. Car keys. Cinnamon. Gaara's drawers._

"We're out of milk," Naruto announced and closed the refrigerator door.

"Oh, okay. I'll write it down," Kankuro said and wrote something on his little note.

Naruto eyed the man warily. "What's with those recently?"

"Oh, these?" Kankuro laughed and waved the note in his hand. "Let me show you the system I've made."

Before Naruto could politely decline, the brunette was already leading the way to his room. Reluctantly, he followed him. What he saw made him stop on the threshold.

A cluttered mess of colorful post-it notes covered the table. Heaps of clothes lay on the floor. The curtains were asymmetrically pulled in front of the window and the sheets on the bed had come partially undone.

"I write down everything I need to remember," Kankuro said and took out a note from the pile. "This is a great way to stay organized."

"Really?" Naruto said uneasily. He wondered if it would be polite to leave when something caught his attention. Kankuro's car keys were half-way under his pillow. Naruto thought it was an odd place to keep them. And what was odd, too, was that the black Audi had stood on the yard, practically unused, for the past two weeks.

"Uh, how's it been at work lately?"

Kankuro's attention snapped on him. "You know, I mostly work from home nowadays."

Naruto eyed the dusty laptop that peeked from under a messy pile of papers.

"But now, I have a little holiday."

"That's nice," the blond muttered. He glanced at the colorful mess again, wondering how different the redhead's room certainly was. Gaara's compulsive need of order wasn't exactly a healthy thing but neither was this ungodly mess happening in here. Deciding that lifting up the mood might be in order, Naruto said, "You better not let Gaara see your room."

But his joke seemed to get lost on Kankuro who only looked at him with sudden interest. "You are keeping an eye on him, aren't you?"

"W-What do you mean?" Naruto asked with a frown.

The worried expression from weeks ago was back on Kankuro's face. "Well, you know. I always see you guys together. So I thought you're looking after him, so that… nothing bad will happen to him."

"Yeah, I'm looking out for him," Naruto replied, a little unsure where this conversation was going. As far as he knew the redhead had been in a good, stable mood recently and nothing he had noticed had led him to believe otherwise.

If Kankuro had earlier been somewhat absentminded, now his sharp gaze was boring on Naruto. "Have you checked his drawers? Or the underside of his desk? He sometimes tapes knives or shards of glass in there."

"U-Uh…" Naruto replied, not sure what would be the correct answer to something like that. "Do _you_ check his things?"

"I do. But lately… Some things are missing, and I can't find them in his room. At first I thought he's started hiding them somewhere else but then I thought that maybe you have noticed, and taken them from him," Kankuro said.

Naruto furrowed his brow. Their conversation was turning as confusing as the alarming pile of notes on the desk. "What things?"

Kankuro's eyes widened in shock. "You don't know? Then it means that Gaara…" he trailed off and slumped on his unmade bed.

"H-Hey, I think you might be worrying in vain," the blond tried to cut off the brunette's rapidly growing desperation. Damn, it looked like Kankuro was really out of it, maybe a tad delusional even. There was certainly nothing wrong with Gaara these days anymore.

Naruto sighed and tried to reason with the man. "I don't think―"

"Could he be hiding them in _your_ room?" Kankuro interrupted him.

"I don't think so," Naruto said with a nervous headshake. The last thing he wanted was Kankuro going through his stuff when he wasn't at home. "But I can check, just to get you peace of mind."

The brunette stood up, suddenly full of determination he had lacked for the past weeks. "Alright. I'll tell you what places you need to check. I'll write you a list so you won't forget."

Before Naruto had a chance to decline, Kankuro was already scribbling something on a yellow post-it note. When the brunette draped it to him, he gave him one last advice. "Don't let Gaara see that list."

* * *

For the fourth time, Naruto swiped dust off the same shelf. Tsunade and Ino were chattering excitedly near the register and for once there was content smile on the old lady's face. Everyone was happy. Then why was he feeling like it was the end of the world?

"Hey, are you okay?"

Naruto startled and dropped the dust cloth. Sakura picked it up for him and gave him a questioning stare.

"I thought you'd be happy for me," she said a notch quieter, glancing over her shoulder at their excited colleagues.

"I am happy for you," he said right away. The shelf needed some more dusting and after few shy swipes he stopped his movements and just held the cloth in his hand. Naruto stared at the neat row of books rather than at Sakura – his brand new boss and the fresh owner of this place. "Am I going to lose my job?"

"Of course not. Why would you even think so?" Sakura asked and let out a laugh.

But Naruto couldn't let go of his sadness. He glanced at the fluent interaction between Ino and some elder customer. "Why would you want to keep someone like me around?"

"Naruto." Her tone of voice reminded him of his late mother and just like she had always done, Sakura now placed her hands on her hips, head tilted with a serious look on her face. "I want you to always work for me, alright? You're one of the best employees this place has seen."

"That's not true," Naruto said and blushed. Suddenly the shelves looked dusty again and he started swiping them.

"Naruto," she said again and took hold of his hand. The dust cloth dropped to the floor. "You're diligent and reliable and I trust you."

"B-But I'm not as sociable as Ino, for example," he pointed out.

Sakura glanced over her shoulder at the blond woman leaning on the register. She was twirling her long, blond hair around her finger while chewing gum. "So what? At least you don't use your working hours for pointless gossip. Besides, the customers like you."

"They do?" Naruto couldn't believe his ears.

"Yes," Sakura repeated, wondering why it was so hard for him to believe such a normal thing.

For the rest of the day, Naruto kept to himself and studied the interaction between his co-workers. He couldn't shake off the feeling that he stood out like a sore thumb. Everyone was cheerful and there was certainly no mistaking still a large grin on Tsunade's face. But for some reason the content smile of Sakura had started to wear thin.

To buy this store was her dream, he knew it, yet when the staff had been told the news this morning, she had seemed oddly reserved. For always, she had been the one with determination and clear future plans, and better than well Naruto knew she had worked hard to achieve this moment.

Asking about money would be rude but even so Naruto couldn't help wondering how she had financed this acquisition. Then again, her family was well-off and she had always been downright religious about working diligently and saving up money.

Naruto was the last employee to leave work that night. Sakura stood at the register, going through stacks of paper with a pen stuck behind her ear. With that serious expression on her face, she was already starting to resemble her aunt.

"Aren't you going to go home?" Naruto asked as he locked the front door from the inside.

"No."

She looked way too worrisome for someone her age, so he decided to lighten up the mood. "No? Don't tell me you're going to spend the night in here. Work isn't that fun, eh?"

Her expression didn't lighten up. With the same somberness as before, she replied, "At least then I would be already here early in the morning."

Naruto regarded her lack of humor for a moment. "So, how's Sasuke taking all this? Is he happy, too?"

"You know what he's like," she only said, her attention on the stacks of paper again. "From now on, I have to work even longer hours to keep this place up. As you know, our concept needs desperately an update. I'm afraid I won't have much time to be at home."

"Oh," Naruto understood. For someone having her dream come true, she sounded oddly dispirited. "Well… how about that addition to the family you guys were planning?"

She shot him an angry glare which soon melted into something tired and defeated. "He won't give up his career even for a short time. And I can't, either. Not now. If I hadn't done this now, Tsunade might've sold this place to a big chain business."

Naruto paled. He knew what that would've meant. But his worry about his own job soon turned into grief about his friend's fate. She had never hidden her dreams of having a family but achieving a meaningful career had been another lifelong goal of hers. And now it seemed she had been forced to choose between the two.

* * *

It had to be a dream.

The world didn't make any sense. Landscape was nothing but a cluttered mess full of colorful shapes that kept on floating around him. Even though each detail was highly interesting, he couldn't keep himself concentrated longer than a second or two at a time. Out of nowhere, a row of white pills swam towards his open mouth like a necklace of pearls and he swallowed them all without resistance.

Slowly, colors started to dull. Shapes bended into sturdy rectangles that aligned into neat rows and eventually the only color he could see was brown.

Naruto woke up without any trace of sleepiness.

The dream-like order in his mind was slowly changing back into that familiar disorder that quite much resembled Kankuro's room.

No matter how simple his dream was, there was something oppressing in the way it lingered on the border of his consciousness. He would lie if he claimed he never feared for his sanity but even then, he would not go back to eating pills. True, Kyuubi had been long lost again but it wasn't like he hadn't any other symptoms.

Every now and then, a flicker of another personality hovered just above his skin like a transparent foil wrapped around him. And it was not only Kankuro's form that visited him – there were many others, and not all of them were even male.

The idea of total breakdown always loomed somewhere in the horizon but determinedly he always pushed it out of his mind. But the dream didn't leave him be. Maybe his discomfort wasn't only because of something he feared would happen to himself but because of something he was witnessing right before his eyes.

"Gaara," he whispered and gently touched his friend's arm.

With a content sigh, the redhead turned to him and then slowly opened his eyes. When he noticed Naruto's alarmed state, his sleepiness quickly faded away.

"What's the matter?"

Naruto let out a shaky breath. "Can… Can I talk to you about something?"

A silent nod was the only answer he got.

"It's about your brother."

"What about him?" Gaara's voice held a trace of surprise.

"Um, do you think there's something wrong with him?" Naruto asked quietly.

"He's just tired," the redhead said and closed his eyes.

"But are you sure it's just that?" the blond continued. Jade eyes cracked open again and Naruto gulped. "H-Have you seen his room?"

"He'll be alright. Don't worry about him," Gaara replied patiently and squeezed his hand.

Naruto nodded, not sure if this conversation had eased his mind or not. That T-shirt Gaara was wearing – which was in fact Naruto's green one, he now realized – revealed his scarred arms quite proudly. Very gently he traced his fingertip along the dulling marks, stopping on his wrist only to feel a faint yet steady heartbeat.

Was it really true that this calm redhead had hidden something probably harmful somewhere in this house? Was there something going on under the surface?

In his opinion the idea felt rather delusional. Maybe Kankuro had lost his mind and had started to imagine things that weren't there.

"Hey," Naruto whispered and gently touched the redhead's collarbone. "How have you been feeling lately?"

"I'm feeling alright. I have you," Gaara said calmly and his jade eyes looked sincere.

"You wouldn't be hiding anything from me, would you?" Naruto asked unsurely and let his fingers travel along the pale jaw all the way to his colorless cheek.

Gaara seized his wrist and something changed in the way he looked at him. "Have you been talking with my brother?"

"N-No," Naruto said right away and yanked his hand away like he had been hurt. "I have no idea what made you draw such a conclusion."

"I trust you if you say so," Gaara replied after a while. "And I hope you trust me too, when I say that everything is fine."

But his jade eyes didn't look so sincere anymore.

Numerous cacti were sleeping on the upper shelves that lined Gaara's room in perfect order. Night's scarce moonlight stretched their shadows along the wall, growing their spines longer and bigger until they resembled a clawed hand with countless sharp fingers.

It was easy to get stung by such devious plants and the times Naruto had earned the privilege to water those creatures his friend held dear, he had more often than not yelped in pain when an unexpected sting hurt his skin. Gaara always blamed it on his clumsiness, a thing that instantly drew some childish comeback from the blond.

Maybe he was a bit clumsy and got hurt easily. And maybe his friend had noticed it a lot earlier than Naruto had even realized, given how Gaara had endowed him with a cactus famous for its hooked spines and soft fur.

Gaara didn't want him to get hurt.

Had the redhead been thinking like that ever since their trip to the botanical exhibition? Back then, he had defended his red haired landlord with his fists as the lousy bullies had targeted him in the parking lot. Was that the message Gaara had given him along with the plant? That he didn't want him to get hurt?

The idea made Naruto smile goofily. Warmth filled his chest and soon it spread to his cheeks.

He still wasn't sure if his conclusions were correct but if they were, it sure had taken him a long time to decode Gaara's hidden message. Was this one of those things most people noticed right away, but which somehow always managed to pass his attention?

"Thanks," Naruto muttered sweetly and let his happiness pour into his voice. "You're my special person and I'm thankful for it. Your mere existence makes me happy and it fills me up with hope."

Gaara didn't give him a reply, yet his gaze grew more cautious a shade or two. Naruto ignored it altogether, deeming it as yet another misinterpretation of his.

"I never want you to get hurt. To me, you're more special than anyone else in this world and I'll do my best to keep you safe," Naruto whispered in the darkness. "If the world is a bunch of sharp spines then I'll be the one to bend them all into tame, unthreatening hooks. I'm going to protect you."

Even though Gaara didn't reply with words, Naruto knew he felt the same. The fluffy cactus sitting on the sill in his room was proof enough of that.

But the look on Gaara's face made him suddenly stop his train of thought.

Before he could analyze it any further, Gaara pulled him against his chest and placed his blond head under his chin. The faint throb of his heartbeat he had detected earlier on his wrist now drummed against his ear in a heavy rhythm.

* * *

It was late evening already. Wind had stilled and dusk was falling over the neighborhood. Once again Naruto had stayed at work for some extra hours, dusting the shelves and helping Sakura here and there. For a moment he had wondered if Gaara would've believed his eyes, if he were to see him with mop and bucket. Even he had a concept of cleanliness, even though not many would know. Too shy to ask her to take a picture for proof, he had just kept to himself and made sure the place looked top-notch. For her, he didn't mind doing this.

As he was walking back home, the darkening bags under Sakura's eyes kept on invading his thoughts. Lately, she had stopped talking about herself at work. And each evening, she stayed later and later in the bookstore.

At home yard, Naruto almost didn't notice a slouching figure sitting on the driver's seat of that spotless, black Audi.

"Kankuro?" he asked and knocked on the window.

The man seemed to come back from whatever drowse he had been in. With a sheepish smile, Kankuro opened the door and smiled at him.

"Hi, Naruto."

The blond eyed his unkempt appearance suspiciously. "Are you going somewhere?"

"Actually… I was supposed to get some groceries but I just couldn't bring myself to start the car," Kankuro explained calmly.

"So you just stayed in here?" Naruto frowned.

"Ah, I guess I did," the brunette laughed. "I didn't notice time go by."

For an answer, Naruto let out a nervous laugh and glanced around the darkening yard. He wondered how long the man had sat here, all by himself without anyone noticing. Naruto wasn't a person known for his consoling skills and around Kankuro he always felt special kind of awkward for reasons he liked to keep to himself. But now, the older of the brothers looked so lost and lonely that he just didn't have the heart to leave him here all alone.

"Er, would you―" Naruto said but stopped as his idea started to suddenly sound stupid in his mind. But that gaunt and colorless face was already looking at him expectantly.

"Would you like to see a special place?"

Yes, his idea was utterly ridiculous but he couldn't take his words back anymore. To his surprise, Kankuro got out of the car and started to follow him.

Shyly, Naruto led them towards his own special apple tree. The branches reached all the way down to the ground and as they crawled under them and leaned against the sturdy trunk, the tree hid them from the world like some leafy tent.

"Sometimes I come here when my heart gets heavy," Naruto said quietly.

"It's a nice place," Kankuro admitted and Naruto couldn't be sure if it was out of politeness or the man's honest opinion. "Thank you for sharing this with me."

"H-Hey, no problem," Naruto said uneasily. He still wasn't used to, or totally comfortable with, having conversations this long and detailed with the brunette. Usually it was only Kankuro who spoke and Naruto liked to render himself to the role of a listener. The brunette had a beautiful voice. He wondered if anybody had ever told him that.

"I―I was at work," Naruto began but stopped as his words started to sound stupid again. "I mean," he started over, "S-Sakura's been busy ever since she bought that store, and I thought she might need some help."

Kankuro turned to look at him. Maybe it was because of the dusk but he looked suddenly gaunter and more tired Naruto remembered ever seeing him.

"She's lucky to have someone like you as her friend," the man said.

"I-I don't know," Naruto stuttered and waved his hand dismissively. "I think something's been troubling her lately but she never opens up about it. With each passing day, the rings under her eyes grow darker. It's like all the happiness had vanished from her life."

His companion replied with a sympathetic sigh. When the man closed his eyes, Naruto let his attention linger on his facial features for a good while. A stab of pain went through his chest as he remembered the time Sakura and Kankuro had baked the pie, and how excluded he had felt back then.

Naruto lowered his gaze to the ground. He surely was nobody, wasn't he? And given how she refused to keep him updated whatever was going on in her life, he was starting to wonder if they were even friends at all. But just as that hurtful idea came to him, he shook it off furiously. No matter what she thought of him, he considered her a friend and he would do his everything to help her out.

"Kankuro. Can I ask you something?" he started. Under his ribs, his heart was already aching. "You know… You and Sakura seem to get so well along. I was wondering if you could, uh, maybe see her some day. I'm sure it'd cheer her up."

Kankuro sighed and looked at him with sadness. "I don't think it would be a good idea."

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, surprised.

"Well…" Kankuro began and hesitated his next words. "The truth is, eh― we're not friends anymore."

Naruto gaped. "What? Why?"

Kankuro glanced at him the same way his former math teacher used to do, whenever he didn't understand even the simplest of equations.

"Her boyfriend was getting suspicious," Kankuro told after a while. "And I guess she didn't want any trouble for her… or for me."

"Sasuke," Naruto huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "She should dump that bastard."

"Why should she break up with him? To be around someone like me?" Kankuro laughed but it sounded sadder than anything.

"But if you like to be around her, why don't you fight for it instead of just accepting your defeat?" Naruto asked and tilted his head in a questioning way.

The brunette lifted a brow and gave him a dubious look. "It doesn't matter what I feel. If she's happy with her life the way it is, there's no point in trying."

"But has she told you she doesn't like being around you? To me, it never looked like that," Naruto told and the familiar pain visited his heart again.

"Look," Kankuro sighed again and when he looked at him, his expression had darkened. "I can only guess what she might be really feeling. The only thing that I know for sure is that she wants to stay with her boyfriend, no matter if it'll cost her a friendship here or there. And what I know about the guy, I'm not much of a match."

"Don't say that," Naruto tried to cheer him up. "In my opinion, you're hundred times better than that asshole."

He earned a warm smile from the brunette. "Thanks. But I don't think I'm much of a catch friendship-wise… or in any other sense, either. To be honest, unlike I told you I'm not on a holiday now but on a sick leave."

Kankuro glanced at the moon that shone through the branches and something in his posture seemed to relax. "I haven't been feeling good lately. There was this super intense project at work I wanted to ace because I wanted to show my boss how skillful coder I was. At the same time Gaara was having his latest relapse and I felt like I had to be everywhere at the same time."

After a pause the brunette elaborated further, "I thought that if I keep on going for a little bit longer, everything will turn out fine, that things will go back to normal. But then one day I couldn't shake off the tiredness no matter how much I slept. And around that time Sakura told me that we better not see again."

Naruto nodded at loss for words. He glanced at the brunette's hand that lay on the ground but he had no courage to hold it. Instead, he showed his consolation with an empathetic sigh.

And it seemed his emotion translated to the brunette just fine given how there was now a slightest of smiles on Kankuro's face.

"I have never really liked anyone before her," he suddenly said. It sounded like he was feeling perhaps a bit self-conscious. "Back in my teenage days, dealing with dad and protecting Gaara took up all my energy. And after he died I was busy again to make a living while keeping Gaara out of trouble."

"You're a good brother," Naruto whispered empathetically.

"I do my best," Kankuro said modestly but it was not without sadness. "I just hope it's enough."

They sat in complete silence for a while before restlessness took over the brunette and he leaned away from the tree trunk.

"Naruto," he said with his onyx black eyes full of worry. "I'm eating psychopharmaceuticals for a while now. It's nothing serious, just a thing I have to go through. But the thing is, a few medicine strips are missing and I'm sure I haven't used them yet."

"O-Oh," Naruto understood and it was like a cold stone had sunk to the bottom of his stomach.

"Did you go through the list I gave you?" Kankuro asked.

"Oh, the list," Naruto remembered. "I'm going to do it as soon as I can."

His answer seemed to calm down the brunette.

"Thanks," Kankuro said. "And thank you for being there for me. It means a lot."

"A-Anytime," the blond stuttered and suddenly his shoe laces were the most interesting thing in the world.

"I can't really talk to my friends," Kankuro confessed. "They all have families. They are not going through what I am, and vice versa. Maybe that's why Sakura hasn't opened up to you even though you have a feeling that something is bothering her. Maybe she doesn't want to burden you."

"Oh," Naruto understood. Could it really be that his easily fueled, paranoid doubts had actually nothing to do with reality? Could it really be that his friend had kept silent not because of her mistrust on him but due to her inability to reach out to him?

Feeling suddenly more confident, Naruto nodded and when Kankuro smiled at him faintly, he felt like a faint bond had formed between them.

The apple tree was not blooming anymore but bearing a promise of fruit, Naruto noticed as his gaze lingered on the branches where yellow little pseudofruits now grew in place of earlier white flowers.

* * *

It was the morning and his day off.

Naruto held a green book in his hands, a color completely unsuitable for the content. No matter how tempting it would've been to put it there with other ones of the same color, he resisted his urge and returned it to its official place.

Gaara liked to keep his books in an alphabetic order, a system which was not only boring but difficult too, in Naruto's opinion. If he were to decide he'd have them sorted by the color, the only way that made sense to him. Remembering a name – be it the author's or the book's – was a tedious job and the quickest way he would find what he needed was to look for the color.

Emotions had colors and whenever the cover didn't match the emotion of the book, Naruto felt confused.

Speaking of colors, the redhead sitting silently at his desk radiated some dark green aura which had tones of grey. It looked like the guy wasn't really seeing the landscape he was supposed to be looking at.

"What are you thinking?" Naruto asked casually and brushed a yellow spine of a book with his finger in passing.

"What am I going to do with my life?" Gaara asked the walls around them. His loyal cacti stayed silent.

Naruto stood next to him with a carefree smile. "Such heavy thoughts right in the morning. How's our little experiment going?"

He was referring to the tiny old greenhouse they had repaired some time ago, as Gaara had finally given in to the idea of growing something edible. Tomatoes and cucumbers and a few eggplants were chosen for test subjects. For some unfair reason avocados had been left out of their plans. When Naruto had kept on protesting it, the redhead had calmly reminded him that fruit-bearing _trees_ of that kind required tropical atmosphere and would not thrive in their backyard.

"Tomatoes might make it but I'm not sure about cucumbers. They're not looking too good," Gaara informed him.

Naruto frowned. He had expected his friend to be a bit more enthusiastic about their project. Gardening and plants were close to the redhead's heart, after all.

"If it gets too cold or it rains too much, the crops will be ruined. Too much sun isn't good either," Gaara muttered and lowered his head in defeat.

"Hmm," Naruto pondered out loud and rubbed his chin. To see his special friend this dispirited made his heart ache. "What is your brother doing again for a living? Would you try that?"

"Just forget it," Gaara growled and buried his head in his arms.

"Nah, come on. We'll come up with something, right?" Naruto tried to encourage him. He was feeling yellow and he wanted to transfer this feeling into the redhead, too.

"You can't live here forever," Gaara reminded him and returned his uninterested attention back on the window.

"Yeah, well neither can you. People start whispering unflattering things behind our backs if the two of us plus your brother continue living in this house for too long just by ourselves. And I'm sure Kankuro would like to have a family someday," Naruto reminded.

Gaara glanced at him in a dispirited way. "So he's going to abandon me just like Temari."

"What? No. What I'm saying is that you and I can have a place of our own someday. I didn't mean that your brother would abandon you. In fact, I don't believe something like that could ever happen. And I'm going to stay by your side, too. Always," Naruto promised and his grin rivaled with sunshine.

To that Gaara didn't reply anything but the worried crease between his non-existent eyebrows vanished away. His aura didn't feel so dark anymore and when Naruto rubbed his slumped shoulders, the redhead sighed and leaned longingly into his touch.

"No matter what happens, as long as we have each other we have nothing to worry about," the blond whispered.

With his mind's eye, he imagined how yellow energy poured from his fingertips into the tight muscles on Gaara's shoulders, chasing away the murky aura that stubbornly kept on hovering over him from day to day.

* * *

A few hours later Naruto was pacing around his room.

Kankuro's list still lay crumbled in the depths of his pocket. Even though he knew the brunette wouldn't come to his room while he was away but trusted on his promise to search for missing medicine, he still couldn't shoo away the nagging doubt in the back of his mind.

A week ago he had come up with an excellent idea. It had stemmed from the fact that his beloved diary didn't have a lock, a fatal fail in his opinion. To ensure no curious eyes would find his secret thoughts, he had transformed the letters into squares and triangles and other easily recognizable symbols. When he had realized that it was possible for someone to decode his encryption, he had altered his symbol language a little.

Instead of systematically replacing letters with designated symbols, he opted to use mainly squares as he wrote. As he drew those repetitive shapes on the pages, he imagined in his head the words he pretended to write down. He believed the meaning would be saved in the pages and would be easily re-read in the future by him and only him.

Now a week later Naruto had no clue what that row of eleven little squares had meant.

Truth to be told, he had hard time decoding other people's messages, too.

Only yesterday Kankuro had cryptically told him that he had read an interesting article about the origins of schizophrenia. It had launched them into one-sided conversation about multiple personalities and psychotic hallucinations.

Even though Naruto had no experience of schizophrenia, for the thing he had been diagnosed with was certainly not the same, he could not deny his experiences of other personalities in his body, no matter how fleeting and feeble those episodes always were. The way Kankuro had kept on glancing at him throughout his monologue was odd and left Naruto feeling like their conversation had an ulterior meaning behind it.

It left Naruto feeling that _they_ had figured him out and were onto him. Kankuro was most likely one of _them_ and wanted to harm him somehow. Maybe the older brother had noticed a thing or two just by looking at him, or what would be even worse, had secretly read his diary!

Added to this, a few days ago at work Tsunade had paid them a surprise visit and she had been impressed by how they had been doing. She had looked at everyone except Naruto, who had stood slightly behind the woman's back at the time, and told them they had all done good job.

Yeah, everyone except him, right?

She hadn't looked at _him_ , because she didn't really think he was doing a good job at all, right?

Once again, Naruto Uzumaki had succeeded in decrypting the dubious messages people tried to hide from him. Kankuro thought he was mentally ill and was onto him like a hound. Tsunade thought he was an inadequate employee.

And then it was there again, the layer of another consciousness. When Naruto tried to imagine himself with his mind's eye, he saw a woman with blond pigtails high up on her head. Who the hell was she, he wondered and shook his head but the feeling refused to disappear.

He walked to the mirror and looked at himself.

So that was the shell everyone saw when they looked at him. But it was just a shell, a mask of flesh and hair to give him his default look. What he looked like didn't really matter to him, for the most of the time he couldn't really connect with his scarred face or his unruly, blond hair. They were just a shell.

He had no idea who that girl was but he knew she wasn't the only one 'there'. Besides her, there was this athletic, young man who had brown hair and chiseled jaw. There was a child with large forehead who was much shorter and skinnier than him. Then there was the ghost of Kankuro and Kyuubi the villain.

With frustration, Naruto walked to the window but the never ending greenness failed to calm him down. Legion of flies had met their end in between the window frames, and Naruto eyed the black row of insects with distaste. They all looked the exact same.

And he looked always the same, to everybody else.

Inside, his image kept on changing and he couldn't keep up with it.

Growling again, he returned to stare at himself in the mirror. Still his face felt purposeless.

"Are you alright?"

It was Gaara, peeking into the room from the door left ajar.

"Hi," Naruto smiled instantly and rubbed the back of his head. "What brings you here?"

Gaara's evaluative stare moved to the open diary sprawled on the floor, to the numerous little squares scribbled on the bare pages.

"You were growling by yourself," the redhead informed and now his jade eyes were on Naruto again.

"Haha, I don't think I would do anything like that," Naruto laughed it off. "Must've been these floorboards that always creak like this," he said and hopped on the floor to demonstrate a sound that never came.

He soon gave up the pointless trying and picked up his diary only to cast it into the drawer, out of sight. A lone fly buzzed against the window, trying to get through the glass into sunlight.

"Hey Gaara," he said quietly. "Do I look different to you?" The little smile that rushed to his face to cover up his inner panic was as automatic as the way Gaara's observant stare fixed on his anxious figure.

"You look like you always do," Gaara told.

"I don't look feminine to you, do I?" Naruto asked and glanced at himself via the mirror.

Gaara tilted his head and stepped closer. "No, you don't. Why would you think such things?"

"No reason, just wondering how other people see me, that's all," Naruto replied and rubbed the back of his head with a little chuckle.

* * *

At noon Kankuro called them for lunch, and the three of them gathered in the kitchen. Naruto helped himself some soup when sudden awareness hit him. Slowly, he turned his gaze on the left and saw a pair of jade eyes staring at him curiously.

Color started to flood on Naruto's cheeks the longer his friend studied him with that kind of stare. A quick peek towards Kankuro's direction told him the brunette was once again deep in a world of his own, unaware of what was happening right under his nose.

But as Naruto would soon notice, the man hadn't fallen too deep into his inner realm as it looked like.

"They're hiring apprentices at work again, Gaara. If you apply now, you could have a chance," Kankuro said.

When the redhead didn't reply verbally, Kankuro turned to look at him. Upon seeing the usual blank expression that adorned his pale face, the brunette gave up and turned his attention on Naruto.

No matter that he seemed to be still speaking to his little brother, Kankuro's gaze lingered on the blond. "You can't live forever with your older brother. People start to look weirdly at us at some point. Isn't that right, Naruto?"

Naruto dropped his spoon and it clanked loudly against his plate. Those were almost exactly the same words he had said to Gaara in the morning.

How could it be?

Of course, there was only one logical explanation: Kankuro was eavesdropping them – how, he didn't know yet, but to assume the whole house was wiretapped wouldn't be too farfetched in the light of recent revelations.

Confidently, Naruto lifted up his gaze and met the onyx depths of Kankuro's eyes with fierce intensity. The man returned his stare calmly while chewing his food. When Naruto didn't reply anything but only kept on dueling him in their nonverbal battle, Kankuro turned to his brother with a baffled look.

But Gaara didn't offer him any explanation either, and instead just kept on eating his soup like nothing out of ordinary was happening.

Naruto got up from the table and shot one last confident glare towards the brunette. He was not afraid, because he – Uzumaki Naruto – was always one step ahead of _them_.

* * *

In the afternoon, Naruto and Gaara were checking the situation in the greenhouse. That little structure made out of glass was barely large enough for the both of them to fit inside at the same time. Excitedly, Naruto eyed the pale round things that were supposed to turn into red tomatoes one day. Gaara had his back turned on him, and with uttermost stealth Naruto prepared to steal one of them just to determine its flavor.

Out of nowhere, a hand slapped his curious fingers away and an angry-looking Gaara stared down on him.

"They're not ripe yet," the redhead growled.

Naruto rubbed his hand in defeat and glanced at the unsuspecting tomatoes. "Everyone keeps on saying that home-grown tomatoes are the sweetest ones. I just wanted to know how they taste like."

"You just ate two bowls of soup and four slices of bread. Leave the tomatoes alone for now," the redhead told him and started to water cucumbers.

The blond muttered something under his breath and bent down to glare at the eggplants. He had never really liked them, and wouldn't make an effort to know their taste beforehand. He was just about to straighten up, when the snout of a watering can poked his buttocks.

"Sorry," Gaara said but the look on his face was all but apologetic.

It was getting hot in the greenhouse, and Naruto swiped sweat from his forehead. His cheeks were burning and it seemed Gaara noticed it, too.

* * *

In the evening, Naruto's sense of paranoia had gotten a better foothold on the doorway of his mind. He eyed the creamy tiles of the bathroom, trying to spot a broken seam or any other sign that would reveal which ones had been recently taken out and then re-sealed.

There was a chance something had been hidden in the walls. Once again, he was one step ahead of _them_. But now that he knew what they were up to, he couldn't reveal his knowledge.

"Hey. Maybe we should go already," he whispered to the redhead.

"Why are you talking quietly like that?" Gaara asked and spat toothpaste in the sink.

Naruto was quiet for a moment, listening hard but no crackle of microphones was audible – at least not now.

"No reason," the blond whispered and the redhead continued to brush his teeth. "Do you think we should come up with a sign language?"

"What for?" Gaara asked and then gargled.

"For situations where we don't want other people to hear us communicating," Naruto said very quietly while peering around the bathroom ceiling. Gaara followed his gaze but soon gave up and put his toothbrush away.

"For real?" Gaara asked a notch louder and when Naruto flinched and glanced around, a worried look came to his face.

"Well, what do you say?" Naruto whispered in a barely audible voice.

Gaara tried to read his lips and stepped closer when he had no clue of what the other had said. Briefly he looked around the bathroom, as if trying to see the same Naruto had noticed earlier. Then, his tired attention returned to the blond.

"Do you feel alright?" Gaara asked.

Slowly, Naruto nodded.

"I mean really, really alright?" the redhead clarified.

Naruto narrowed his eyes. Very casually he caressed his friend's shoulders, back and sides. No unusual, hidden objects such as wiretaps were there, however silly the thought now sounded in his mind. Gaara responded to his masked inspection with tender caresses until his attention was eventually drawn to the waistband of Naruto's boxers.

This was not the kind of sign language Naruto had had in mind but since it seemed to be a mutual language for them, he all but wanted to turn it down. Soon those innocent, light touches turned into more daring, greedier and before he knew it, Naruto was back against the tiles while Gaara kissed his neck in all but shy manner.

Their lips met and very soon their tongues were touching, too. Naruto tasted the mint of his toothpaste and when he squeezed Gaara's behind he let out a sweet, airy gasp.

Encouraged, Naruto pulled the redhead's hips against his, letting him know his body was already responding to him. After a frustrated sigh, Gaara ground himself against Naruto, pinning him to the wall. There was no mistake what need bubbled under the redhead's skin, in the light gasps he was whispering into Naruto's ear.

"Do you know what would be fun?" Naruto gasped heatedly, even though he tried his best to keep a playful tone in his voice.

"Tell me," Gaara whispered and kissed the spot below his ear.

"Ah, I'd like that―" the blond started with a wavering voice, "That we slept in my room tonight." After all, there was a chance they hadn't had the nerve to wiretap the room they rented.

Gaara ground his hips against him one more time, before stepping one step away and looking at him in an evaluative way, "Alright."

In Naruto's room, their private sign language was feverishly in the making as Gaara's hands traveled all but modestly along Naruto's heated skin. The hotness of the greenhouse had somehow materialized in the room with them, and when Gaara gently lowered Naruto's boxers the temperature only increased.

A caress on his inner thigh and then his boxers were thrown somewhere in the room, Naruto didn't know exactly where and he didn't really care, not now when Gaara was squeezing his behind and kissing his neck and making all coherent thoughts fly out of his mind.

He gladly accepted the lubed finger that rubbed against his orifice in a teasing manner, wishing it would already dive in and reach the spot that made him arch his back in want. When his dream finally came true, he could only feebly gasp his lover's name before pleasurable sensations made his ability to speak vanish altogether.

The way Gaara was sucking him off at the same time turned his head into numb blob where only one idea could live: he wanted to explode into million little pieces and resurrect as a calm, satisfied cloud that sailed on cerulean sky.

When the blissful moment came Naruto screamed silently and vanished from the world for the next seconds.

Eager to make his friend feel that same, incomprehensible feeling, Naruto whispered his long-hatched idea out loud. To his surprise, Gaara complied even though it was with a curt nod and a face that was quickly turned away from him.

He had never believed his friend would've agreed to this, given the way Gaara preferred their roles. At first the tiled bathroom and its acoustics made Naruto hesitate but knowing how aware the redhead was of the poor sound-proofing that came with the house, he had no doubts his friend could keep silent enough. After all, out of the two of them, Gaara was better at things like these.

The idea of hidden microphones couldn't fit in the blond head of Naruto, as his mind was now occupied with much more tempting sentiments. The flickering fear of surveillance couldn't beat the steady anticipation of romance.

Naruto was sure he could see a slight pink hue on Gaara's pale cheeks before he turned around and faced the bathroom wall. There was no reason to be anxious about this, certainly not ashamed of, but Naruto had a hunch that whatever had happened to his friend in his earlier life, this was something the redhead didn't easily let happen.

Tenderly and with extra-loving manner, Naruto lowered on his knees behind Gaara and spread his ass cheeks. Nervous twitch of Gaara's body didn't go unnoticed by him, and to ease out his friend's emotions Naruto placed a soft kiss on his behind.

Given how Gaara changed his position ever so slightly to give him better access, he must've overcome at least some of those nervous feelings that traveled in his head. With trust that this was really alright and he wasn't going against his special person's will, Naruto spread his cheeks some more and touched his orifice with his tongue.

"Haah," Gaara whispered and tensed.

Naruto caressed his thigh while pressing his tongue against him more firmly at first, then more softly. Gaara's reserved silence turned into tiny, almost inaudible gasps and then into continuous stream of suppressed moans. When Naruto entwined his fingers around Gaara's erection, the redhead sighed and Naruto could almost hear the way he bit his lip.

Slowly pumping him while touching him with his tongue, Naruto drove Gaara into frenzy he did his best to keep suppressed, so that no outsiders would get wind of their secret romance.

He couldn't see Gaara's face but he imagined how his eyes would be tightly shut and there'd be a prominent flush on his face. He imagined the way he'd bite his lip and how his toes would curl under strong emotions. Just imagining it got him hard again and he wondered if Gaara was able to see how his cock twitched in need.

Suddenly the mental dam broke and Gaara let himself go over the edge. Bravely he held back his wild moans and let them out as incoherent hisses between his gritted teeth. His whole body trembled and with last skillful licks Naruto sent him into the bliss he had promised. Gaara, hopelessly detached from his accustomed rigid mannerism, exploded on the tiles he was leaning against, thrusting himself on Naruto's hand that was entwined around his cock.

Naruto's fingers squeezed the last drops out of him before finally letting go. Gaara leaned against the wall, out of breath and eyes closed. When Naruto hugged him from behind, the redhead responded by leaning closer. With a bit of self-consciousness, Naruto realized his awakened erection was snugly buried against those tender cheeks of his friend, but thankfully the redhead didn't seem to mind. He knew how Gaara was about these things, and the last thing he wanted to do was to scare him away.

Deep down, he knew it wasn't just carnal chemistry that made him feel springy like this. There was no denying how desirable Gaara looked to him, and he hoped it was the other way around, too but the more time he kept on spending with the redhead, the more enchanted he felt.

Right now, he felt like he had been given access to a part of Gaara not many knew about, if any. This privilege made his heart pound excitedly yet at the same time that wild drumming was sinking him deeper and deeper into the swamp that was his emotions.

He had never believed something like this would happen again but it surely seemed he was falling for his friend really badly.

Under running water, Naruto was too clouded by his hormones to be worried about hidden microphones. The gloomy idea of surveillance couldn't fit into his swollen brain that was filled with mushy, heart-shaped thoughts.

Now more rooted to the present, Gaara had resumed his stoic stance and was guarding him with his gaze like he was the apple of his eye. With a dreamy sigh, Naruto leaned against the redhead's chest and Gaara entwined his arms around him.

"I lo― I _really like_ you," Naruto whispered shyly. "I don't want anyone else but you. If you died, half of me would die too."

He realized his words were a bit heavy and loaded for the situation but he couldn't take them back anymore. It wasn't like he hadn't meant them, the only thing he was afraid of was that Gaara wouldn't feel the same.

"You're precious," Gaara replied and kissed him.

"I never believed I'd meet someone like you," Naruto confessed and blamed his buzzing hormones for these sudden revelations. Even the tiles looked pink to his eyes. The whole world felt like cotton and sunshine.

Gaara patted his back and turned off the shower. Very gently, he dried Naruto's hair with a soft towel, caressing his cheeks and chin before kissing him again.

The microphones didn't return to his mind until they were back in his room, ready to get a good night's sleep.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Gaara replied.

Naruto stared at the dark ceiling before his thoughts materialized into simple words. "Do you think it was odd how your brother repeated the same things at lunch today, which I had said to you in the morning?"

"I don't think it was odd," Gaara told. "I've been talking with him about his occupation many times in the past year. And when it comes to people thinking strangely of brothers living together for too long, that was the exact thing Temari told us when she moved away from here."

"Oh," Naruto understood. It seemed his words hadn't been so unique, after all. Even so, there was still something that bothered him.

"What about that article about schizophrenia the other day? Why was he so intrigued by it?" he asked.

Gaara looked at him silently before he sighed. "Our uncle suffered from that illness while he still lived. Since it's hereditary to some extent, I think it's only normal for him to be interested in it."

"I see," Naruto nodded and let the words sink in. "I thought he had a way of knowing what we're talking up here."

"What do you mean by that?" Gaara asked with a frown.

"Nothing," Naruto said and shook his head. "I'm just being silly, that's all."

"What did you think, Naruto?" Gaara asked and his jade eyes had grown worried.

He hated that look, for he had seen it many times on different faces and it never promised anything good. All it brought with it was confusion and fright and the sense of him being abnormal.

But would Gaara really be like all the others? Naruto glanced at the furry cactus that peeked from behind the curtain.

"I thought your room was wiretapped or something, I don't know," he explained like it was something not at all serious. "I didn't really believe that, it was just something that briefly crossed my mind."

"Was that why you were so strange earlier?" Gaara asked, no doubt referring to the way he had been staring at the tiles and jumping at loud noises.

"Maybe it was," Naruto shrugged and pulled the blanket up all the way to his chin.

"To me that sounds a bit paranoid. No room of this house is tapped, I can guarantee that," the redhead replied. His face didn't reflect any expected fright but instead it was full of concern and care. Naruto relaxed and his sense of safety increased, a thing that had never really happened when he had opened up to someone.

"I know. I have an excellent imagination," Naruto chuckled and grinned, hoping it would nullify the last remains of uneasy mood that had momentarily visited this room.

Gaara ruffled his hair and pulled him against his chest in a protective manner.

"If you have any thoughts like that in the future, you can always share them with me," the redhead promised.

"Thanks," Naruto replied, even though he wasn't sure if he would utilize that offer. He was tightly set in his ways already, and from experience he knew it would be hard to change his accustomed patterns.

One thing that captured his attention on his friend's words was that Gaara had not called his thoughts _unusual_ or _odd_. More than once had people deemed his view of the word as something strange, and to be honest it only succeeded in increasing his anxiety and leading him perceiving himself as something unnatural. Maybe the lack of judgment in Gaara's words was not intentional, who knew, but nevertheless it made Naruto feel accepted and normal.

* * *

In the morning, Naruto woke up alone.

Given how Gaara's phone wasn't resting on the nightstand where he had left it the night before, the redhead must've already gotten up for good. Naruto felt a little discouraged by this even though he told himself to not draw any delusional conclusions out of it.

Kankuro greeted him in the kitchen with sunny smile and a potful of porridge. Instantly hungry, Naruto sat at the table and started wolfing down his breakfast.

"Gaara's out in the garden," Kankuro told him.

Naruto stopped. Kankuro was looking at him again like that. But before his accustomed paranoid thoughts could sprint into full speed, Naruto caught himself and calmed down. This time, his automatic interpretations had no ground.

Seemingly oblivious to his inner doubts, the brunette continued with a lighter tone, "I found the medicine."

Naruto's head shot up and he stared at the man questioningly.

"I was sure I looked for them in everyplace possible but just this morning, I found them in the kitchen cabinet where we keep all our other medicines. Funny, I don't remember putting them there," Kankuro wondered and sipped his coffee.

With a shrug, Naruto resumed eating. The memory of car keys half-way under pillow came back to him. Was there a chance the brunette had succeeded in displacing his medicine, too?

"Anyway, I guess we were worried for nothing," Kankuro laughed a little, his carefree expression soon turning into frown as if he was still trying to solve a mystery in his mind.

"What were you worried about?" Gaara asked as he suddenly walked into the room.

"Eh, a-about the weather. It looks like that thunder storm isn't coming our way, after all," Kankuro replied and turned away to search for a spare mug.

"Here," the brunette said and draped a full mug to his little brother.

Gaara sat down at the table and sipped his coffee. On the outside he looked calm more than anything but when his jade eyes steadily turned to Kankuro's unsuspecting back his narrowed gaze was filled with annoyance.

Before Naruto could avoid it, Gaara caught him staring and for a moment he was locked in that dubious, studying gaze Kankuro had received only mere seconds ago. Naruto gulped and grinned goofily, not sure how else to greet that unwelcomed emotion shot at his way.

Unlike he had expected, Gaara's expression softened and he seemed to let go of his earlier sour mood.

Yellow was flooding back into Naruto. It was pouring in from the windows, deep into his soul and circulating fast in his veins.

Gaara was his yellow.

And more than anything, he wanted to share this warm energy with his brooding friend, just to show him how rich world could be if it was experienced with someone special.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Fruits are ripening… Did you know that apples are pseudofruits, too? Amazing._

 _If you're feeling like shit and you just want to die, please know life can turn out better._

 _Something unexpected might be just around the corner._

 _And if you ever feel lonely, if you feel like no one understands what you're going through, just remember that there'll be a Gaara to your Naruto somewhere, who'll have your back and accept you for who you are._

 _Constant paranoia is a hallmark of schizotypal personality disorder and that's why I wanted to include it into this chapter._

 _When you're not able to read social situations correctly, you tend to misinterpret other people's words and gestures. Paranoia gets hold of you and you start suspecting everyone and everything. 'They' are after you and 'they' want to hurt you. You're not sure who 'they' are, so everyone can be a part of 'them'. That's why it's important to find a (normal) person you can trust and open up to. That person can tell you their point of view and help you to see your misconceptions._

 _I don't know if you're able to tell from my writing, but I tried to make it look like Naruto was trying to get that kind of confirmation from Gaara in this chapter. He tried to mirror his own interpretations through what Gaara was telling him, and that way he was able to reach new conclusions and hush down his paranoid thoughts._


	8. Birds of Prey

**\+ + + Schizotypal + + +**

 **Disclaimer:** _I don't own 'Naruto' and I make no money from these writings._

 **A/N:** _First of all, thank you for the loveliest reviews, you guys rock! And those who've followd/faved/read this far, thank you too. :D_

 _A quick word, my new NaruGaa story is out! It's called_ _ **Lighthouse**_ _and it's about Gaara and Naruto's friendship, which slowly evolves into romance._

* * *

 **Chapter 8: Birds of Prey**

"Have a nice weekend," Kankuro said as he eyed Naruto and Gaara with their duffel bags.

On the yard, Tenten's station wagon hummed steadily. Honk of a car horn told them she was already tired of waiting.

Naruto glanced at Kankuro, trying to interpret the man's mood. Sakura hadn't invited him to the cottage. For the sake of empathy he wanted to somehow cheer up the sad-looking brunette, but he had no idea how to politely address the fact that Sakura had excluded Kankuro from this leisure trip. Because of this, he stayed silent.

"See you on Sunday," Naruto replied, a little antsy that he couldn't come up with anything better to say.

Autumn was slowly winning over summer and the humid, chilly nights were maybe the most prominent, albeit not an only sign of it. Log-fire blazed warmly in the fireplace as the four friends sat in front of it, drinking wine and playing cards. And given how eagerly Tenten was once again clinging onto Naruto, she had had a few glasses too many. The vein on Sakura's temple was already throbbing and no doubt she would soon smack them on the head and tell them to concentrate on the game.

How nice it was to lounge in the warmth of the cottage, in the presence of people who accepted him for who he was. By himself, Naruto smiled a goofy little smile. Ever since Sakura had become the owner of the bookstore, this was her first free weekend. And what would be a better way to celebrate it than this?

"I've had enough of men," Tenten slurred and held her wine glass high before drinking the last of it. Dramatically, she threw the empty glass into the fireplace to emphasize her decision.

"Would you stop breaking those," Sakura muttered, "They're mom's and she won't appreciate finding glass shards in the fireplace."

"Sorry," Tenten apologized but she didn't sound very assuring. Without her noticing it, Gaara hid the bottle of wine from her view.

"I'm just so relieved and frustrated that Neji is gone," Tenten said and flailed the cards in her hand angrily, "He didn't even look sorry when I told him it's over. Can you believe it?"

"I can believe it," Naruto muttered and patted his friend on the head. Tenten squeezed his arm tighter and leaned more heavily against him. As far as Naruto recalled, Neji's face was a permanent example of expressionless meat. If any emotion went behind that thing, it would take a detective to trace it. Even though he disliked Neji, he had never said his opinion aloud to Tenten.

And unlike he would've expected, the hormone levels of those two were a match made in heaven, and with a shudder Naruto recalled that one very long weekend he had endured with them. But sex aside, it seemed their needs hadn't met on any other meaningful level.

"But you know what, guys?" Tenten slurred again, this time more happily, "No more skirts or heels or fricking push-up bras! It's over! From now on, I'm going to go with this andro-look and if it's not somebody's cup of tea, then they can fuck off!"

"Tenten!" Sakura chided her language.

Naruto patted Tenten on the head again. Another thing he hadn't liked about Neji was the man's reluctance to accept Tenten for who she was. Just to please him, she had emphasized her feminine side whenever he was in town. But on any other occasion she went with her beloved gender-neutral style.

"The only thing I'm afraid of, though, is that I will never ever find anyone again," Tenten suddenly sobbed and buried her face on Naruto's chest, "I mean, I love dick but what if the dick won't love me back?"

Naruto chuckled and hugged her, glancing nervously at Sakura who was silently shaking her head.

"I'm sure you will find someone."

It was Gaara, suddenly taking part in their conversation. He placed a card on the floor and then lifted another one from the deck.

"Just like I found Naruto―"

And then he stopped after realizing he had accidentally let slip something that was supposed to be kept as a secret, at least for a few more months or so.

"What?" Sakura and Tenten said in unison and stared at them. Miraculously, Tenten seemed to have sobered up and no matter how annoyed Sakura had just been with her language and her breaking things, the girls now sat side by side like an audience.

Naruto seized Gaara's hand and chuckled nervously, "He meant as friends."

"Are you two dating?" Tenten exclaimed and her excitement over the topic was way, _way_ too great.

"Well…" Gaara admitted before Naruto could direct the girls' thoughts elsewhere.

The blond rubbed his forehead in exasperation. A part of him wanted to flee and leave Gaara behind all by himself with the mess he had brought upon himself. Judging by how glazed the girls' eyes looked by now, they were already imagining something inappropriate.

"I knew there was something going on!" Sakura yelled victoriously, like there had been a bet going on. "I knew it! I was right!" she chirped happily, _way_ too happily.

Gaara gave Naruto a side-eye glance, no doubt expecting an explanation for their behavior. For an answer, Naruto shrugged nervously and squeezed his hand tighter.

"Remember when I told you he had a thing for you?" Sakura pointed her finger at Naruto, "You said I was wrong but what do you say now? Hah!"

Tenten chimed into the conversation, "And I noticed it was strange how nervous Naruto was when I met Gaara for the first time. By then I just knew something was going on."

When it seemed there wasn't going to be an end to the girls' excitement and as the redhead by his side seemed to get nervous, too, Naruto thought it was time to put a stop to it all.

"This is exactly why I never tell you about my love life. You two get ridiculously weird whenever you find out I'm dating a guy," Naruto said and inched closer to Gaara, as drool started to pool in the corner of Tenten's mouth.

"But it's just so…" Sakura whispered, searching for a napkin to wipe her nose.

"Just stop it right there," Naruto snapped and waved a hand in front of their faces, as if it would dissolve their unwanted attention.

When the glaze in their gaze only got stronger, god forbid from what thoughts Naruto didn't want to know, he was seriously starting to wonder if there was anything to get them snap out of their scary state.

But just then, the door of the cottage slammed open.

"Where the hell is he?" Sasuke bellowed from the doorway, clearly livid.

"Who?" Tenten asked and placed her hand on Sakura's shoulder.

"You know who," Sasuke said to Sakura, glancing around the room, "That guy who's been taking up your time recently."

"There are only the four of us, as you can see," Sakura replied calmly. It was only a split-of-a-second glance at Naruto, but the blond suddenly understood what it was all about.

"Maybe you should leave," Naruto said and stood up before anybody could stop him.

"Oh, it's you," Sasuke said flatly like he noticed his existence only then, "Her eunuch."

"Tch. Shut up, or I'll turn _you_ into one," Naruto retorted and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Sasuke didn't look impressed, "As always, your bark is loud but you bite weakly."

"That's because I won't bite my friends, unlike _some people_ ," Naruto quipped right back at him.

"We're not friends," the raven-haired man reminded.

"Yeah, thanks to you."

Sasuke stopped in his tracks upon hearing the words. His dark eyes looked empty and haunted. In his arrogant way, he still looked somewhat vulnerable and hurt. Naruto felt a pang of sympathy in his heart, even though his mind kept on repeating all the horrible things the man had said and done to him.

Should he take this opportunity to drive him away, or try to offer him empathy? His mind refused to give him a clear solution, and hoping his choice would turn out wise, he decided to go with the latter.

"Would you like to join our card game?" he finally asked.

Sasuke huffed and shook his head. When he cast his dark gaze on Naruto again, his eyes were all but empty.

"Not interested."

Naruto gritted his teeth. Even though he had expected an answer like that, he still felt upset.

"Maybe you should go then," the blond suggested tightly.

"Don't imagine I'd stay in your presence any longer than necessary," Sasuke quipped arrogantly, "Now that the man I was looking for isn't here."

"Hey," Naruto said confidently, "She's been with me. We've hung around a lot lately."

A crooked smile crept to Sasuke's face. It had a strange mix of amusement and anger.

"With you? That was a good one, Naruto," the black haired man chuckled darkly, "Like she'd be interested in your company."

No matter how much Naruto tried to ignore the sting, his heart still hurt, "What the hell do you have against me to talk to me like that?"

The sinister smile on Sasuke's face froze until it melted away into a grave line. The blond took a step back, but the raven haired man followed.

"What do I have against you?" Sasuke repeated eerily. "You were my best friend. And you were the only one who knew how much I envied my brother. He was better than me in everything. The apple of my parents' eye," Sasuke told him, and his eyes started to shine with anger. "You wanted to hurt me, because you were jealous that Sakura liked me and never you. And so you plotted your way into my brother's thoughts and shattered the perfect family we were."

"T-That's not true," Naruto corrected, "I never wanted to hurt you. You were my friend, don't you get it?"

But it seemed his reasoning met a deaf wall.

"Sasuke, maybe you should leave."

It was Sakura, calmly stating an idea which Tenten and Gaara, too, seemed to share given how sour their faces looked like. The redhead was already clenching his fists, staring daggers at the unexpected intruder.

But the raven-haired man ignored her suggestion and instead stepped closer to Naruto. There was that haunted look in his eyes again, one which made Naruto feel sorry for him and how things had turned out between them.

"Naruto, I…" Sasuke said quietly, and then quickly glanced around the room, at the all but friendly faces of Naruto's supportive friends. With a heavy sigh, he tentatively patted the blond on the shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Naruto. I'm acting like a total idiot. I don't know what I was thinking."

"N-No, it's o-okay," Naruto gasped in complete surprise and when his ex-friend pulled him into a tight, brotherly hug, he didn't even think of pushing him away.

Sasuke seemed genuinely sorry and desperate, and like a forgiving person he was, Naruto patted him on the back. Sasuke tightened the hug and then whispered to his ear so quietly that only he could hear, "Your mother was a sweet person."

Breath caught in the blond's throat at the unexpected words.

"But you made her kill herself."

Naruto stilled. His eyes were stinging and his chest was about to explode. Those words were not true!

His sudden lack of defiance seemed to please his ex-friend, given how a tiny laugh escaped his mouth. Naruto kept on gripping him lifelessly, paralyzed from emotional hurt.

"She was tired of you. You drained her will to live. And it would make her happy if you would take your own life, too."

Nobody else but him could hear. To everybody in the room, their unexpected reunion surely looked like they were burying the hatchet and nobody tried to stop this from happening.

This was just like all those years back when they were still at school―bullying masked under the veil of fake friendliness.

He was at school. The bullies were there in a circle around him. This was what they did to him, because it was so easy: they hurt him, so that he would cry. And when nothing would get him into tears, they found his mother.

Everybody seemed to know something about his parents, things he had never heard of, things he didn't want to believe. His mother had loved him, at least until the last years. She had been tired back then but it couldn't be about him, could it?

They hated his happiness, his odd social skills and the way he kept on living his life even after the tragic losses of loved ones. Something in him made them angry and with determined unity they showed him his place time after time.

Making him cry meant making him lose his happiness. To see him losing friends meant he was finally punished for being so odd, and for them the world made suddenly sense again. Until he made a new friend and it started all over again.

Another whisper so delicate only he could hear: "You're trying in vain. You know how it will end, don't you? That's right. Go back to your mother."

Orange.

He was feeling orange and furry and when he grinned his row of teeth was sharp like fox's. It happened fast but those fiery, clawed paws that pushed Sasuke away weren't really his. The inhumane grin on his face hurt his cheeks and the whisker-like scars on his face stretched into a frightening sight.

He was at school. The corridor was dark. He was afraid of dark but he had to go, and he sang by himself to drown the eerie silence that followed him with each step. Behind the corner awaited a heart attack that would forever christen him with a nickname he hated with passion.

He was a kid, playing ball in the school yard. Naruto had long ago noticed that one raven-haired boy who seemed to have difficulties connecting with others. Maybe he was just like him? Composing his confidence, he strode towards the lonely boy and blinded him with his luminous grin. Naruto tossed the ball at him, inviting him to join the game. The small smile he got in return was proof enough his intuition had been right.

On a Christmas holiday, he was at Sasuke's house. Everyone was already sleeping when he wandered towards the bathroom in the middle of the night. Unexpectedly, he bumped into Sasuke's older brother and before he knew it he had ended up in his room. He tried to shoo him away but he wasn't strong enough. Yes, he admitted he had maybe once or twice looked at Itachi _that way_ but it was just out of curiosity. He didn't ask for any of it. But the next thing he knew was Sasuke's angry face when he found out them, and the disgust he looked at Naruto with would never wear out.

It hurt. Sasuke had always been arrogant towards him, towards everyone. But as long as they had been friends, there had been a pinch of friendliness there in the middle. To lose that little bit of unity had been a stab in the heart.

"Naruto!" someone yelled and brought him back to the present moment.

Sasuke was standing near the doorway, pretending to be surprised and staring at him with murderous intent. Sakura was holding his arm but the look on her face told clearly where her loyalties lay. Tenten and Gaara were on either side of Naruto, looking at him worriedly.

"You better go," Sakura whispered to Sasuke and patted his arm gently, "We'll talk later."

With one last angry glare at Naruto, the man strode out of the cottage. A moment later the furious roar of his car engine bid goodbye to the once so peaceful scenery.

Ten minutes later, they had resumed sitting by the log-fire. Embers cracked in the fireplace lazily. Nobody had brought up Naruto's seemingly unexpected reaction, and for that he was thankful.

"You should leave him," Tenten said exactly what Naruto was thinking. She had found the wine again, and a new glass.

"It's not that simple," Sakura replied calmly and shuffled the deck of cards deep in concentration.

"What do you mean? He's an ass," Tenten slurred, once again hitting nail on the head in Naruto's opinion.

"His family holds a certain reputation in our town. Staying together might be beneficial for business in the long run," Sakura explained matter-of-factly.

Naruto sighed. His pink haired friend was definitely the most pragmatic, unromantic person he had ever met.

"But don't you want to be happy, too?" Tenten asked, clearly not understanding her reasoning.

Sakura sighed, "Of course I want to be happy. Sense of security brings me happiness, and Sasuke has a steady job that pays well."

Tenten groaned and let the matter be as she noticed her friend wouldn't budge.

Naruto traced his teeth with his tongue. They were blunt. He didn't feel orange anymore but at the same time he wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel. A sudden tingle on his skin made him turn his head at Gaara's direction. The redhead was staring at him before quickly averting his gaze.

* * *

Once again Naruto was eyeing the narrow width of their shared bed with unease. Gaara dropped his duffel bag to the floor and closed the door behind him. For a long time, the redhead hadn't said a word to him at all.

Naruto took off his socks and cast them haphazardly on the floor but when he received a pointed stare from the redhead, he obediently picked them up and folded them into his bag. Gaara sat next to him on the bed and seized his hand. The pondering expression on his face was unnerving, as Naruto didn't know what was behind it.

"I'm sorry," Gaara said, "You had to put up with a lot, and there was nothing I was able to do."

"Nevermind about it," Naruto assured, "Those things that came up don't matter. They are in the past now."

"Are they really?" Gaara wondered and pulled him into a loose hug.

"Well… It hurts even after all these years. But it's alright now, okay?" Naruto said with a faint smile that wasn't thoroughly convincing.

"Were you alright when you just suddenly pushed him away?" Gaara asked concernedly, "For some reason it reminded me of what happened at the parking lot back then."

Naruto's mouth dropped open. He closed his jaws with a snap, then stared at his toenails for a good while.

"I just got enough of it, alright? Sometimes people stay too long in my personal space," he said quietly, "I didn't mean to act like that, it just…"

"Did he say something to you?" Gaara asked.

"No," Naruto denied.

A part of him wanted to explain what had really been going on. But to bring Kyuubi up felt very unwise, no matter how much he trusted the redhead. How normal was it to have experiences like these? What if Gaara wouldn't understand but started to fear him?

"I would never hurt you," Naruto said suddenly as an afterword to his private thoughts.

"I know," Gaara replied with unexpected melancholy, "But I'm not sure I can say the same."

Naruto stared at the redhead in surprise, trying to understand what the meaning behind those words was. Gaara noticed his worry and his guilty expression softened.

"I've been talking a lot with Tenten lately," the redhead said, and even today it didn't cease to wonder Naruto how easily those two had become friends. "I think she understands what I'm feeling. She has helped me to deal with my suicidal emotions."

As a youth worker, she faced people's problems on a regular basis. Even though a tiny corner of Naruto's mind was jealous of not being able to completely fill that need in Gaara's life, he was generally happy that the redhead was receiving help.

"But even so, I can't promise you to always stay by your side. You see… I can't promise I will always feel this good, as I do now," Gaara told.

Naruto pulled him into a tight embrace, one he wished he would never have to loosen again. The truth was, neither could he promise that his fluctuating moods would stay stable like this for the rest of his life. At some future point, he feared he would have to resume eating medicine if his symptoms kept on worsening like they lately had.

Having Kyuubi scared him. Having any other flicker of an unknown personality visit him made him frightened. His nightly terrors were something he knew abnormal by now. The weeks of mute depression he regularly endured, followed by a period of unfathomable energy that left him breathless and anxious was something he would have to address sooner or later. But every time he thought of seeking help he decided to postpone it until another day. He would get by just a little bit longer all by himself.

* * *

In the morning, Naruto's lazy eyes slowly blinked away the last remains of a dream. There was something red and pale in the corner of the room. Something black that looked like―

His heart squealed and breath got stuck in his throat at the sight before him. Smelling of freedom and conifer forests, Gaara stood there in his tight clothes. He was wearing _that choker_ again today and thanks to a certain memory, blush exploded all over Naruto's face.

Last Tuesday they had been naked between the sheets. That innocent-looking black choker had been on the redhead's neck back then, and given how stark a contrast it was to his milky pale skin, it had immediately caught Naruto's attention. Excitement had been high and he could still easily recall how red and swollen Gaara's lips had been after he had sucked him off. At the mental image, Naruto wanted to dive into ice hole just to cool down.

"Good morning," the redhead greeted him and judging by the sly way his lips curved up, he had noticed Naruto's reaction.

"Come here," Naruto whispered and kept on staring at the appealing redhead.

"There's breakfast. We have to go," Gaara only said but the damned smirk didn't leave his face.

"Ugh. No. Let's stay here all day," the blond suggested and drew circles on the sheets with his finger, an innocent look mastered on his face.

But Gaara didn't buy his seductive mannerism this time, "You have to wait until we get home."

Naruto sighed. His friend had a point. First of all, the walls of the cottage were far from sound-proof. Secondly, soiling the sheets wouldn't be a considerate thing to do given how they had no spare ones, and the person most likely to do any chores around here was Sakura's mother.

Sucking his lower lip in defeat, Naruto settled for enjoying the things only his eyesight could offer him.

* * *

After breakfast the four of them were strolling along the long beach that surrounded a nearby lake. Naruto gazed at the seemingly calm waters, knowing that the still surface was not to be trusted.

As a kid Sakura had told him about a horrendous sea monster that lived in the water, and of course Naruto had bought it without a second thought. It had taken two summers for him to regain his trust and gather enough courage to go swimming. Even nowadays, he preferred to enter the lake by boat rather than in his swimming trunks.

No matter that he had never seen the alleged monster, the concept of threat sat tightly in his mind. In the hours of late night, Sakura had revealed to him that during full moon, the monster could come out of the water and adopt a form of any person. Anyone he knew could be Loch Ness in disguise.

Sadly, as he grew older he learned the story was not totally groundless, as he was to see all kinds of monsters within other people.

"Hey Naruto," Tenten bellowed from afar. In a nearby tree, a flock of birds took wing. "You could teach Gaara to swim."

"We could help you by evaluating your progress," Sakura chimed in a little too eagerly.

Naruto shivered and didn't want to imagine what that 'evaluation' even meant. All it gave him was a mental image of the girls sitting on a large rock, sipping cider and ogling at him and Gaara in the water with only their swimming trunks clinging onto their skin.

"Very funny," Naruto mocked.

He wanted to ask them how _they_ would feel if he suggested something similar. Surely if he spoke like they did, there would be a pile of sexual harassment accusations waiting for him in the end of the day. Even though the girls were quite sensible for the most of the time, he wished they'd sooner or later realize how immature they acted. It wasn't like those two hadn't had their share of inappropriate suggestions. He had seen it happen more than once, and every time he thought about it, he realized that maybe he had it a tad easier himself. Because of that, he didn't dare to open up his mouth.

Tenten hopped on the rocks to Naruto and Gaara. Her over-sized hoodie flapped in the wind, making her look like a giant flying squirrel. When she got into a conversation with Gaara, Naruto's attention began wandering until his searching eyes finally settled on a lonely pink-haired figure.

He walked to Sakura, and the minute she realized his presence her sad face turned friendly. Naruto pretended he hadn't noticed it.

"They say an ancient beast inhabits the depths of this lake," Naruto said with a voice resembling the one in nature documents. It made her laugh.

"You remember?" Sakura smiled, "I'm sorry for causing you all those nightmares back then."

"Don't worry about it," Naruto replied with a carefree grin, "We were kids. I was scared of many things back then." And nowadays, too, but she didn't need to know that.

"Everything was simpler back then, don't you think?" Sakura mused. Even though she was smiling, there was certain sadness behind it all.

Naruto hummed gently by himself. She had a point indeed. Back then, he wasn't an orphan yet. Back then, Iruka had a habit of lifting him up on his shoulders and bringing him exciting souvenirs from his trips around the world. Back then, he and Sasuke had still been friends. Ah, those were the times indeed.

"Being an adult isn't easy," he agreed, "But past is behind us. Future is something we can affect."

"Easier said than done," she said wryly and kicked a small stone on her way.

"One hop at the time," Naruto said and looked at Tenten climbing up on a very large rock in the near distance. Gaara was trying to help her by pushing her behind, an act that looked more hilarious than what was probably intended.

"One hop at the time…" he whispered and turned back to Sakura, whose earlier sadness had now returned.

Maybe a friendly push was all she needed, too?

"I don't know how much you know about it, but Kankuro's been a great brother to Gaara lately," Naruto tested the waters. Only a quiet mumble was her answer.

"He reminds me of you, you know?" Naruto continued friendlily, "He always puts others first, even when it clearly isn't the best option for himself."

"Where are you heading with this?" Sakura asked straightforwardly. Rather impatiently, she kept on aiming at the larger stones on her way.

Naruto sighed and then replied casually, "I'm not blind. I've noticed a thing or two." He hadn't. Kankuro had told him. But she didn't need to know that.

Sakura sighed and clenched her fist. It was a reflex sure to make him anxious each time, and loyal to his instincts, Naruto scratched the top of his head nervously as if anticipating a soon-to-be bump in there.

"Did he put you up to this?" she asked.

"No," he replied honestly.

She didn't say anything to that, only kept on biting her lower lip deep in thought.

The next thing he was about to say could either have tremendously positive consequences, or then be a root to unfathomable chaos. He couldn't be quite sure, as his thoughts gave him no clear answer. Trusting his nonexistent luck, he rolled the figurative dices.

"He said you're the only person he's ever really liked," Naruto said quietly enough for his words to go missing in the wind.

She didn't stop or react in any way. Maybe she hadn't heard it at all. Although a little disappointed, Naruto wondered if it was for the best that way.

"Hey Naruto!" Tenten shouted from afar.

He turned to look at her direction and saw her standing hands high in the air on top of a very large rock.

"I bet you can't climb up here, eh?" she challenged him.

With a chuckle, Naruto started making his way to the brunette and the redhead. Gaara was lazily leaning against the rock, enjoying the shade it offered against sunlight, and briefly Naruto wondered if the redhead would push him up, too, with his hands on his buttocks.

* * *

On Sunday, Tenten's faithful station wagon stopped in front of Gaara and Naruto's home. After two days of sunshine, it was now threatening to rain. A few drops had already smashed against the windshield.

Unsurprisingly, that black choker was on Gaara's neck again like it was a part of their code language. Naruto had _definitely_ noticed it, and the way he kept on staring at the redhead with a longing look could not go unnoticed by the target of his affection.

Naruto got off the car, bidding his last thanks to the girls in the front seat. He glanced around the yard, surprised to see Kankuro there, watering the roses. His clean hair shone in the sunlight and his spotless, wrinkle-free shirt was a welcomed change to the rags he had been throwing over himself for the past few weeks.

When Kankuro happened to notice something pink behind the windshield, he suddenly forgot what he was doing and instead kept on gazing at the direction he desired―which was not the soil where Gaara's precious flowers were growing. If he had been paying attention, he would've noticed the gallons of water that flooded through the snout of the watering can, drowning the sensitive, beloved roses.

Whether or not Sakura noticed his attention, Naruto didn't know. Instead, he saw Gaara hurrying to his careless brother with annoyance greater than normal, only to snatch the now empty watering can out of his hands. Pointing at the darkening sky and heatedly cursing, the redhead scolded his brother who only seemed to be listening half-interestedly.

Escorted with increasing rain, Tenten's car pulled out of the yard, taking away that sight of pink that kept Kankuro's gaze captured long after the vehicle had vanished from sight.

* * *

Walking slowly like in a daydream, Naruto led the way to his room. When he heard the door close behind them, he let out a trembling breath and soon those pale hands were around him like he had expected.

More heavily now than before, rain drummed on the window and the whole room was dark. Between the sheets, Naruto lay naked under his friend. He wanted so much he was sure he was losing his mind. Gaara had taken off all his clothes, too, except that little choker, to Naruto's delight.

Gaara's warm body pressed against him and Naruto groaned and arched his hips to get a better feel of that promising erection. Innocently, his hands traveled along the pale sides and squeezed the redhead's behind, until he felt courageous enough to brush his finger against Gaara's entrance.

In an instance, his friend leaned away and just as quickly, Naruto was turned stomach first against the mattress. Gaara gently took hold of his wrists and soon after, that tempting erection was pressed tightly against his behind.

Naruto gasped into the sheets as pleasure and anticipation built up in his groin. Even though Gaara was doing nothing but teasing him, he felt already weak in the knees and he was positive his whole body was trembling. A kiss below his ear made him moan quietly, careful to not alert anyone downstairs.

Well aware what kind of reactions he was causing in Naruto, the redhead kept on grinding against him. A hot breath ghosting on his ear and the tight grip keeping his wrists in place made Naruto silently beg for release, as his uncomfortably hard erection was chafing against the sheets.

But then Gaara leaned away and his wonderful warmth left his backside. Naruto turned to lie on his back, and with half-lidded eyes he looked pleadingly at his friend.

There was a slight smirk on the redhead's lips, one that got Naruto squirm under his stare. He didn't know why but it seemed to greatly amuse the guy to see him hot and bothered, begging to be touched. Blush crept to his cheeks and he averted his gaze in shame. His reaction seemed to excite Gaara, because from his peripheral vision he could see him stroking himself.

Ever so slightly, Naruto spread his legs and tilted his head, finally looking at Gaara with a half-lidded stare. By now he knew what little things got his companion's heart beat faster, and if the guy was taking pleasure out of his honest daze, then he too would do a thing or two to get reactions out of him.

Slowly, he bent his arms above his head and held his wrist with his other hand. He closed his eyes momentarily to let out a soft sigh, and when he opened them again he looked straight at Gaara. Lust flickered in the depths of jade eyes and Gaara squeezed his own erection almost instinctively. Naruto's gaze dropped down along the pale chest to that sweet, hard cock that was already glistening on top, and with feigned innocence he licked his lips.

A shaky gasp from Gaara was like a victory to him, but before he could bathe in his success, the redhead was on top of him, pinning his wrists down with one hand, his rock-hard erection rubbing against his own.

Naruto moaned into their kiss and bucked his hips upwards. He needed more of this connection, for the teasing friction was driving him crazy.

"Please," Naruto whispered as the tip of Gaara's cock poked his entrance. "I'm sure you want it, too."

"Haah, Naruto," the redhead gasped to his ear.

Naruto spread his legs more, and the wet, hard tip brushed his orifice again. This was the closest to sex they had ever been.

Knock, knock.

"Dinner's ready," Kankuro's cheery voice carried from behind the door. Given how carefree he sounded, he most likely was oblivious about what he had just interrupted.

"T-Thanks. I'll come downstairs in a minute. I'll tell Gaara, too," Naruto stuttered awkwardly.

When Kankuro's slow steps descended down the stairs, the blond let out a breath he had been holding. The look on Gaara's face was all but happy. First his precious roses, now this. Naruto wondered if the brunette would see the redhead's better side for a while.

"We have to get him out of the house more," Gaara breathed and kissed Naruto on the lips, "There's no way we're going to do it outside. And don't even think about your car, it's out of the limits, too."

Naruto nodded, wondering how the redhead had guessed his thoughts. Sure, he had had sex in his wreck of a vehicle a few times. While it wasn't the best of places, it wasn't the unsafest, either.

At dinner table, Kankuro was humming happily by himself in his oblivious little bubble.

Naruto glanced at the silently-fuming Gaara who refused to communicate with his brother. The brunette didn't look like he noticed any of this, or if he did, then he was damn good at hiding it.

"You look better," Naruto pointed out politely.

"Thanks," Kankuro smiled, "Spending the weekend alone was something I really needed. Sometimes it's just nice to have the whole place to yourself."

Gaara's eye twitched but it went unnoticed by the older brother.

"Would you guys like to have a movie night today? I've even made a list of films we would all enjoy," Kankuro suggested excitedly, "I'm even up to watching two in a row."

The redhead's eye twitched again and it looked like he was biting the inside of his cheek.

"Maybe some other day," Naruto turned down the offer politely.

"Did you have fun at the cottage?" Kankuro asked kindly without any trace of sadness in his voice.

A glare was sent at his way by Gaara but it went unnoticed again.

"W-We had fun," Naruto admitted and laughed nervously. He recalled how Sasuke's jealousy had driven him there, and how stubbornly Sakura refused to mind about the problems in that kind of behavior. But given how those facts would no doubt flatten the happy brunette's mood, Naruto chose to not bring them up.

Later on Naruto and Gaara helped cleaning up the table. The sulking redhead had chosen to completely ignore his older brother but the blond spared a glance towards Kankuro's direction every now and then.

That strange, knowing look on the brunette's face caught Naruto's attention. Was it amusement, or what?

As soon as Kankuro realized he had been noticed, a friendly smile came to his face. In all his casualness he looked trustworthy, and Naruto decided to swipe his concerns under the mat.

Once again, he was just imagining things. No one else but the girls knew of him and Gaara, that was for sure.

* * *

Today was a good day, one that had him strolling around the mall in a confident manner. For once, he blended into the crowd. Nobody was watching him.

That slice of chocolate cake in the showcase had looked especially delicious, and so he had allowed himself to stop at the cozy café. After the well-deserved break, he was about to leave the place when a familiar man spotted him from the distance.

Ready to run, Naruto turned away but Kiba caught him easily.

"Naruto?" the brown haired man said with strangely kind voice and got Naruto to stop in his tracks.

"Kiba," the blond responded cautiously and put his hands in his pockets.

"Naruto. It's so good to see you," the brunette told and smiled at him.

Kiba was smiling at him. Naruto looked around just to see if the crew of candid camera was somewhere nearby.

"I'm sorry for the last time. I was an idiot and I regret it," Kiba said quietly, head hung in shame.

"Uh, come on," Naruto said uneasily and stepped further away from the man. But Kiba followed and stopped right in front of him. His brown eyes looked sincere, and in the corner something was glistening.

"I was a real ass when we were still together. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it," Kiba spoke with threateningly trembling voice and then he gulped.

"What do you want me to say?" the blond asked quietly. He glanced around again just to make sure if this was another joke, another prank to get him ridiculed.

"Please, Naruto," the brunette said, seemingly oblivious about the blond's paranoia, "I just wanted to let you know what I think."

"Is that all?" Naruto asked and let his gaze stay in the gentle-looking brown eyes for a tad longer this time.

"Yeah," Kiba replied quietly, "Would you like to be my friend?"

If those sincere, dark eyes were to believe, this time there seemed to be no ulterior motive hidden in those words. Naruto lowered his gaze, suddenly feeling that every passerby was staring at them, at him. A quick look around the ceiling told him there were two or three surveillance cameras up there, and he wondered what part they played in all of this.

"I understand if you don't want us to be friends," Kiba replied when Naruto said nothing to his question, "But I really want to make it up to you how horrible I was back then. Would you like to have coffee with me sometime?"

"Yeah, sure," Naruto heard himself saying. Before he knew it he was pulled into a hug, and until his inner alarm system understood to calm down, he was sure someone would soon emerge from behind the corner and pull his pants down, or something equally cruel and childish.

But nothing happened, and then Kiba was already leaning away and bidding him goodbye. Robotically, Naruto answered something but remained standing on the spot, in the crossfire of the cameras and the stares of supposed strangers.

* * *

Unlike he had thought, Kiba had really held on to his careless promise to have coffee with him. It hadn't taken longer than a week after their sudden reunion, when a text from the brunette had reminded him about it. Of course, Naruto had ignored the text. But after five more of them, with varying tone of desperation and repent, he had finally given in.

"Naruto, someone who says to be your _friend_ is here," Kankuro called from the downstairs, and the blond was sure he could hear tightness in the man's voice.

Naruto frowned and got up from his bed. He glanced worriedly at Gaara. "I thought we were supposed to meet at the centre. What is he doing in here?"

"Beats me," Gaara said and gave him a concerned look, "Are you sure you want to go?"

"I don't know. He said he just wants to apologize. And Sakura will be there too, so I don't think anything bad will happen," he told warily.

Gaara nodded but didn't say anything. They climbed down the stairs, only to see Kiba holding a large, colorful bouquet of flowers.

"Naruto!" he exclaimed and then draped the flowers at him.

Thoroughly confused, Naruto had no choice but to accept the unwanted gift. Suddenly he felt like trapped inside a coffin full of spikes and before his anxiety could peak any further, he draped the bouquet to Kankuro.

"Could you please…" he trailed off quietly. Kankuro snatched the flowers from his outstretched hand with a suspicious, almost angry look.

"Ready to go?" Kiba asked happily, and slowly like a snail Naruto proceeded to put on his sneakers.

"Kiba is a friend of Sakura, too," Naruto explained but he mainly looked at Kankuro's direction. "Sakura and we are going for a coffee in the centre. I'll be back soon."

When they left the house, the last thing he remembered was the worried look on Gaara's face and the thick doubt ghosting over Kankuro's whole being.

They took a taxi to the centre. To have Kiba pay for their ride felt embarrassing for Naruto, but due to his anxiety he chose not to mention it.

"So are we meeting Sakura there?" Naruto asked, thankful that his pink haired friend would be accompanying them.

"She said she can't make it. Something came up, I guess," Kiba told casually.

As if Kiba had planned everything beforehand, he started leading them to a small restaurant.

"I thought we were going to get just coffee," Naruto pointed out.

"I know. But you deserve better," the brunette replied kindly.

As the fancy-looking place drew nearer, Naruto got more and more ashamed of his timeworn attire. He had purposely chosen the ugliest clothes he had found.

To make the situation even more awkward, Kiba sat right next to him on their quiet corner booth. But Naruto was too embarrassed to show his discomfort. Sitting like this made them look like a couple in his opinion, and once again he glanced around to see if anyone he knew had noticed them.

Not even asking for Naruto's opinion, Kiba ordered food and ouzo for them. When their drinks arrived, Kiba was the first to gulp down his shot.

"You really shouldn't be drinking," Naruto knew all too well.

"Hana's in a mental institution," Kiba said and coughed.

"What? Why?" the blond asked, shocked to learn what fate had come to the brunette's sister.

"You know, after her second stillbirth she wasn't feeling so well anymore," the brunette explained. The distress seething into his demeanor didn't escape Naruto's observation. "She's bipolar."

"Oh, wow," the blond said and downed his shot in one go, "I'm sorry."

"It got me thinking about you. About us," Kiba suddenly elaborated and leaned closer to him.

"I'm not bipolar," Naruto corrected and wasn't sure if he should feel insulted or not.

"But you know what I mean, don't you," Kiba dismissed him and refilled their tiny glasses, "I just want to say that maybe now I understand a little better why you were acting crazy like that back then."

"Hold on just a second," Naruto interrupted and put his glass down, "I wasn't crazy. I've never been crazy."

"But you were, babe," the brunette whispered and gently traced the prominent scars on his face.

Instantly, Naruto flinched at the touch and at the use of unwanted term of endearment.

"Do you still have that side personality? What was its name again," Kiba wondered and let his fingers caress the scarred cheek.

"Don't," the blond said and turned his head away. If he weren't trapped between the wall and the way-too-friendly brunette, he would've considered standing up and leaving.

"Naruto," Kiba murmured and got the blond to meet his gaze again, "I don't know who else to talk about this."

Naruto sighed and rubbed his face. When their food arrived, a rather comfortable silence fell over them. Every now and then Kiba told him a thing or two about his sister, or the way her illness had affected on his life. And just to escape the anxiety he was feeling, Naruto kept on consuming ouzo.

With his friendliest manner, Naruto comforted the brunette and gave him room to unravel his troubled heart.

But when Kiba touched his upper thigh under the table, he was beginning to wonder if his signals had been misread.

"Take your hand off," Naruto said while he forked food into his mouth.

"Do you really want that?" Kiba asked and squeezed his thigh.

Naruto lowered his cutlery to the table, "Yeah. Keep your hands to yourself."

Reluctantly, Kiba let go but not before giving a pat on his leg. If his slightly swaying figure was of any indication, he was already drunk.

"I've been thinking about you a lot lately," the brunette admitted suddenly and looked at the blond in a meaningful way, "I think I still love you."

"For god's sake, Kiba," Naruto said and dropped his fork on his plate with a loud chink, "You're drunk."

"Please," the brunette said and leaned closer, trapping Naruto against the wall, "Come to my place tonight."

"In your dreams," the blond said and pushed the man away.

"Please," Kiba said again and squeezed his inner thigh, "It'll be different this time."

"No," Naruto refused and put his share of bills on the table. Then he stood up, gesturing Kiba to move away.

Before the blond could vanish from his sight, Kiba placed a generous amount of money on the table and hurried after him. Outside the restaurant, he grabbed Naruto's arm.

"Wait," the brunette whispered with desperation, and the bottomless, pained look in his dark eyes made something tighten in Naruto's chest. "I'm sorry."

"I want to go home," the blond said, ignoring the apology.

But instead of considering that opinion, Kiba pushed him against the wall and caressed his cheek, "Come to my place, please. I promise you won't regret it. I noticed there was something going on between you and that brown-haired landlord of yours. You can imagine I'm him."

It was unclear to Naruto if his sudden nausea was because of Kiba's lewd suggestion, or because his private emotions about Kankuro could be twisted into something so blunt and untrue. Or maybe too many ouzo shots were the reason, but nevertheless he couldn't help but vomit on the street.

At least it got Kiba to back away.

"I want to go home. I don't want to be with you. This was a mistake," Naruto said and wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his jacket.

The brunette's fists clenched and his earlier, kind expression vanished.

"That's right," Kiba agreed, "This was a goddamned mistake. I can't imagine how I thought I'd take back someone as selfish as you. I opened up my heart for you, and all you did was break it again!"

"T-That's insane," the blond said and doubled down as another vomit made its way up.

Kiba stared at him with disdain, "You're insane. And I'm sorry to ever think you'd changed, Naruto. With a personality like that, you'll end up alone and unwanted, just like your mother."

"Leave my mother out of this," the blond said in a low voice and leaned against the wall. Maybe it was because of the alcohol, but his feet were trembling.

Kiba didn't come closer to him again but instead eyed the puddles of vomit with distaste, "And I thought someone like you would've had the heart to help a friend. But you're the same shit as always, Naruto."

"Fuck off, Kiba!" Naruto yelled and choked back a sob. When he saw the man turn around and make his way to an available taxi nearby, his feet finally gave in and he collapsed to the ground next to the puddles.

He pulled his knees against his chest and buried his face in his arms. The first sobs followed right after and he felt sick again. More than anything, he wanted to leave. Across the street, the people keeping an eye out for available taxis looked almost intimidating in their crinkle-free, stylish clothes. Naruto glanced down at his timeworn attire. On his sleeve there might be vomit and the behind of his jeans felt wet for reasons he didn't want to think about.

He pushed himself up from the wet, dirty street and leaned against the wall. But he was not drunk enough to call for Kankuro to pick him up. Instead, he dialed another number.

"Naruto?" Gaara's voice on the other end of the line called.

"Please come and get me," Naruto sobbed even though he had decided to keep his voice normal. However, the minute he had heard his friend's worried tone, his emotions had gotten the better of him.

Not long after Kankuro's car pulled up on the street. Without further ceremony Naruto got into the back seat, next to Gaara.

"You reek," the redhead said and wrinkled his nose.

In the driver's seat, Kankuro stayed silent the whole time and afraid what he might see, Naruto didn't dare to even look at his way. Defeated and hurt, he tried his best to sit still. Crying in a situation like this was definitely out of question. But when Gaara took hold of his hand and squeezed it, the earlier lump rose to his throat again and before he knew it he was sobbing.

Gaara pulled him as close as their seatbelts allowed and just held him. All the way back home, Naruto tried to find any hidden anger coming from Gaara's way, but he found no evidence of such emotions. By the time they were home, Naruto had calmed down and his sobs had subsided.

The unwanted flower bouquet on the kitchen table brought back some of his earlier anxiety. Without a word, Naruto ran up the stairs. He was about to collapse on his bed when Gaara's soft grip on his arm stopped him.

"You should shower first."

If his energy reserves hadn't been used up, Naruto would've objected the idea. But in the presence of his cherished friend, he realized he had nothing to worry about. When Gaara followed him to the bathroom and started to take off his clothes, too, Naruto stopped what he was doing and gave him a puzzled look.

"I'll help you clean up. Otherwise you'll just pass out and block the drain and cause expensive damage to our house," Gaara explained.

Naruto blushed and tried to unbutton his shirt without much success. His hands trembled and to see the rapidly increasing amount of bare, ivory skin did nothing to ease out his emotions. But soon Gaara was there, obviously naked and helping him with his shirt. With a caress he discarded it off of Naruto's body and let it fall to the floor.

In the shower, Naruto was ordered to soap himself. Meanwhile, Gaara was shampooing his blond hair and massaging his scalp. If he hadn't been in the middle of mental turmoil, Naruto was sure he would've surely reacted to that amount of nakedness. Now though, his friend's presence felt comforting and safe, and the lack of lecherous thoughts inside his mind was a thing he was thankful of.

Very gently, Gaara washed the blond's face. His soft touch noticed every part from his forehead down to his chin. On his cheeks, the redhead was extra careful and made sure to pay no attention to the marks carved on the skin.

After shower Naruto felt a lot better. He hadn't noticed when it had happened, but Gaara had been considerate enough to bring him clean clothes. While Naruto sat on the toilet seat, putting on his socks, Gaara stood next to him and dried his blond hair with a towel. No one had ever pampered him in this way.

Under the blanket in Gaara's room, Naruto finally felt the last traces of anxiety leave his system. When he leaned against the redhead's chest in his clean, soft clothes, he felt better than ever. The night out with Kiba was like a distant nightmare by now.

"He hadn't changed a bit," Naruto finally spoke, "The whole thing turned out to be a disaster."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Gaara replied, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I was so stupid to think he'd changed," the blond whispered, "He made me feel bad about myself, and I don't think he even realized it himself. When I told him I wasn't interested in his company, he suddenly turned the whole thing against me, like I was the inconsiderate one."

"Sometimes you're just too kind to people, Naruto," Gaara knew and pulled him closer.

"You're too," the blond said, "What you did to me tonight was absolutely wonderful. I don't feel like I deserve it."

Gaara held his chin and looked him in the eyes. "You clearly don't realize your own value. But that's just one of the many things that makes you the lovable person you are."

As if to seal his words, the redhead kissed him on the lips.

Naruto buried his head on his friend's chest. His cheeks felt hotter than before, and an army of butterflies was taking wing inside his stomach again. The sweet, springy buzz in his chest got only louder the longer he stayed in Gaara's arms.

"You know… you're really the only person I want to be around with," Naruto admitted, just to get himself distracted from the things going on inside his head, "You're under my skin, Gaara. And it makes me feel warm and safe."

The redhead kissed him on the lips again.

"You're special, Naruto. And I don't know if I can handle you with the care you deserve," he said and caressed his back through the blanket.

"Don't worry such things. You're doing a wonderful job," Naruto assured and snuggled more comfortably into the warm chest of his special someone.

For an answer, Gaara only squeezed him protectively.

* * *

In the morning, Naruto climbed down the stairs sleepily. A faint throb of a headache drummed against his skull, thanks to the ouzo shots he now regretted having. He met a grim-looking Kankuro in the kitchen and instantly shame and embarrassment from last night blossomed in him. The flowers in the vase were gone.

"Morning," the brunette told and gave him an innocent-looking cup of coffee.

But Naruto let it rest on the table. "I―I'm sorry if I've upset you somehow. Kiba is an old acquaintance of mine and also Sakura and Sasuke's friend."

Kankuro stopped what he was doing and perked his hearing. Then he sat down at the table, keeping an eye on the doorway. "Look, I don't doubt you, Naruto but you have to admit how it looked like. I was worried for Gaara's sake. You know how dependant he has become of you."

Quite carefully Naruto entwined his fingers around his hot mug. Maybe it was the coffee that suddenly warmed him up like this, rather than the unexpected information about Gaara's unspoken affection?

But their conversation wasn't over even though he hadn't replied.

"I like you a lot, Naruto. I think that in general, you're a good influence to Gaara. Don't upset him. If you do that, you'll be dealing with me quicker than you can imagine." There was no humor in the big brother's voice.

Naruto paled and sipped his coffee. As the hot liquid burned his throat, he coughed. "I will never let your brother down. I give you my word for that."

"Good," was all the brunette said, but when he happened to glance into his dark eyes, there was a bottomless, studying glint in there.

"He was not just an old friend, was he?" Kankuro asked but now he was already reading the newspaper.

"No," Naruto uttered the shortest possible answer he could come up with. No matter how much closer he and Kankuro had grown in the recent month or so, this particular conversation felt like stepping over a comfortable line. Telling him what role Kiba held in his past was out of question, and even admitting he was something more than just an acquaintance was somehow a thing too far beyond the boundaries he preferred.

Their friendship―or whatever undefined pre-friendship thing their relationship currently was―was turning into too deep too soon and he just couldn't find himself comfortable enough with the sudden change.

But as always, the brunette didn't seem to notice.

"So… Sakura was there with you?" he then asked, his eyes searching fervently the columns of the paper. But the movements of his gaze were far too rapid and disorganized to give a credible impression of him reading.

Naruto let it be. "Something came up in the last minute and she couldn't come."

And now those dark, studying orbs were seeing him again and Naruto struggled to keep his inner chaos in control. Thankfully Gaara entered the room right then with all but depressed aura around him.

"Naruto, come. I want to show you something."

He was so happy he could've hugged the redhead. Without remorse he ran after his friend, and with each step further away from Kankuro he felt the weight on his shoulders disappearing.

In the garden, Gaara took his hand and led him under a tree.

There in the long grass lay a little lifeless bird.

It would've been the saddest sight, if there hadn't been dozens of plump, colorful flower heads arranged neatly around the tiny corpse. Naruto recognized them as the remains of that unwanted bouquet Kiba had given him.

"It's not older than two months," Gaara told as they were silently paying their respects to the deceased creature. "The way those jackdaws and grey crows have been fighting recently, most likely this one is a victim of an attack."

The redhead glanced at him compassionately before adding, "You were attacked too, Naruto. I noticed how you flinched upon seeing the bouquet, and I thought that what a better way to respect those withering flowers―which were not guilty for the purpose they were put into―than putting them here to pay condolences to this innocent victim."

"G-Gaara," he stuttered and pulled him into a hug. Only Gaara could turn something so depressing into a beautiful thing like this. "Should we bury it?"

"No. Within two days it will be found by rodents or other birds, and the circle of life will be complete," the redhead told and squeezed his hand. "Did you know that jackdaws form lifelong pairs?"

"I didn't," Naruto whispered and stared at the endlessly enchanting redhead with a tender look.

"They do, and they separate only if the other one dies. But even when widowed, they don't necessarily seek for another partner," Gaara told.

Warmth bubbled inside Naruto's heart and his earlier discomfort was long buried. No matter that they were most likely the only ones who could find beauty and purpose in something like this, it made him feel strongly connected to him. The exceptional, unique bond between them had grown deeper again and to express his joy over that, he pulled Gaara into a tight hug.

Naruto was whispering little endearing words to his ear before kissing him quickly on the lips, not caring if the older brother was lurking somewhere out of sight. All that mattered right now was the magnificent person in his arms, one he would never, ever abandon.

* * *

All morning Naruto had been peering out of the window, to the front yard of their neighbor.

"I wonder who's moving there," he pondered and glanced at the strangely silent redhead lounging on his bed.

"Come away from the window," Gaara ordered monotonously and when he didn't obey, his restlessness seemed to grow.

"It's rude to spy on other people," the redhead reminded and stood up.

Albeit reluctantly, Naruto let Gaara guide him away from the interesting hassle that was going on beyond the greenness of their hearty garden.

They sat on the floor, out of anyone's view, but when nothing interesting happened, Naruto was about to return to his spying place by the sill. Gaara seized his sleeve and slowly Naruto let go of his intentions.

"How about we start with that sign language you wanted to create? For the situations where someone is eavesdropping us, and we don't want them to know what we're communicating," the redhead finally suggested and instantly the blue eyes lighted up with excitement.

"Oh yes! I've come up with a few signs already," Naruto told. He twiddled his earlobe a few times and then explained the meaning, "This means _'We're low on gas and we need to stop at the nearest gas station ASAP'_."

Gaara stared at him levelly, no doubt admiring how incredible his idea was.

"How often do you think we would end up in a situation where that precise piece of information would be vital to communicate without words?" he finally asked, and his voice was not as impressed as Naruto had expected.

"Well, in a situation where someone's hacked my car and we're on the road, for example," he explained.

"Of course," the redhead nodded, all serious. "Touching your earlobe is such a simple and easy sign. Don't you think we should reserve it for some other purpose? Like, _'I'm not feeling good and I want to leave now'_?"

Naruto pouted and his gaze roamed the room restlessly, "Hmm, I guess that could turn out more handy."

Gaara nodded and then rubbed his temple in a pensive manner. "What other ideas do you have?"

Naruto placed his fingertips against each other so that his hands resembled a house, "This means that the place we are currently in is wiretapped. If I show you this, you know we have to be careful."

Without hesitation, the redhead accepted the idea. "Sounds good."

Someone slamming the removal van's door shut in the distance disturbed their peace. With an unreadable glance at the window, Gaara quickly took hold of Naruto's sleeve and captured his attention.

"I think we should have a few irrational signs which neither of us will demand any explanation for, alright?" Gaara suggested.

"Well, it's fine by me," Naruto agreed, although he was a little intrigued by the purpose behind this request.

"If I do this," Gaara said and scratched his ear with his fingertips, "It means _'Follow me quickly and don't ask any questions, just do it'_."

Naruto evaluated his friend's unreadable expression for a second, "Deal."

The redhead visibly relaxed and lost some of his earlier tenseness.

"Now it's my turn," Naruto said and crossed his forefingers so that they formed an X. "This means that _'I'm longing for the fourth slice of pie but I'm too embarrassed to take it, so could you please take one slice too, so that I won't stand out in a bad way?'_ "

Gaara chuckled quietly in amusement.

Naruto laughed a bit, too. "Hey you can snicker all you want, but that sign would've turned out useful on more occasions than one by now."

He knew how it could be amusing but he didn't care, for seeing his brooding friend in such a good mood was more important than anything.

* * *

 **A/N:** _If everything goes according to my plan, there will be two more chapters left._

 _I hope Kiba and Sasuke's characters weren't too two-dimensional. I tried to give them humane features, too, even though they were mostly assholes towards Naruto._


	9. The Man Next Door

**\+ + + Schizotypal + + +**

 **Disclaimer:** _I don't own 'Naruto' and I make no money from these writings._

 **A/N:** _Thanks again for everyone who has tagged along this far! ^^ Your support means a lot!_

 _Here's another long-ass chapter! This is 60% drama and 40% fluff, in that order._

 _P.S. I hope the emotions are logical. What do you think, are Naruto and Gaara connecting on an emotional level in this story? Just asking because such a thing feels hard for me to write, and I always wonder if I manage to capture it right._

 _BTW I just learned that brunette=female and brunet=male. Is this true? In all my fanfics I've always referred to Kankuro as brunette and only now have I realized there's a difference… T_T Have I been calling Kankuro by a feminine term all these years? Which term is more correct or is it all the same?_

 _Anyway, in this chapter he's 'brunet' because anything else just looks too weird for me at the moment. O_o_

* * *

 **Chapter 9: The Man Next Door**

To see Kankuro so anxious was rare. Ever since he had returned back to work a week or two ago, he had been his usual calm and collected self. But today, something was off. After double-checking everything―was the coffee machine still on, had he really packed his charger―he was finally standing in the doorway, clutching his car keys nervously.

"Remember, you can call me at any time. Any time," the brunet repeated for the hundredth time.

By now, Gaara had reached his limit of tolerating his brother's fussing. With a curt nod, he addressed the brunet's words and was clearly expecting him to finally leave.

"Just don't burn down the house, okay?" Kankuro tried to lighten up the atmosphere with a joke, even though his chuckles were all but relaxed.

Gaara only rolled his eyes and was about to guide his big brother out of the door, when Kankuro suddenly turned serious again.

"Naruto," the brunet addressed the blond, "Make sure the doors are locked at night."

Naruto nodded, albeit he had a hunch it was code language for something else, judging by the concerned way Kankuro kept on glancing at his younger brother.

"And Gaara," the brunet continued, "You make sure Naruto stays out of the kitchen, alright?"

"Hey," the blond cut in, but was interrupted by Gaara's subtle caress on his hand.

"Everything will be just fine here even without your constant supervision," Gaara assured and got his brother to calm down a notch. "You should definitely go now or you'll be late."

"Alright. Remember, I'm only a phone call away. The work-related education lasts from morning to afternoon, but I'll keep my phone on vibrate. It'll be just two nights, and I'll be right back on Sunday noon," he repeated the things Naruto and Gaara had well memorized by now.

With a gentle, brotherly push, Gaara guided Kankuro out of the house.

* * *

They had agreed on watching a movie after Gaara watered the flowers, but now he couldn't find the redhead anywhere. At some point he was sure he'd heard someone come in, but after that there was no trace of his friend. Loyal to his paranoid ways, he had quickly strolled through the garden. Empty watering cans leaned against the tool shed like always, with water drops drying on the sides in the evening light.

He made sure the door was locked, no matter how silly it was to ever imagine anyone threatening them. Kankuro's unexplained anxiousness was bugging him, and he wondered why he had remembered it just now.

"Gaara?" he called out when his own room and the redhead's one turned out empty. Cautiously, he knocked on the closet door before stepping in.

Was that bundle under the blankets really him? Naruto lay down next to it and it trembled when he hugged it.

"Not in the mood for a movie?" he asked in a carefree way, trying to ignore all the ominous signs his mind had picked up.

"Maybe not tonight," Gaara replied and soon his head peeked from under the blanket.

"Are you okay?" Naruto asked.

But Gaara dived under the blankets without saying a word.

"What's wrong?" the blond tried again and lifted the covers so that he could join in the safe nest his friend had created. "Is this because your brother's not here?"

"No."

"Then what's this all of a sudden?"

But Gaara only curled up in a ball, leaving him without an answer. Not sure how to coax him to open up, Naruto hugged him from behind and just held him.

"If you curl up any more I'm afraid you might disappear," the blond said tenderly and stroked the redhead's arm.

"I wish I did," Gaara said.

"Why?" Naruto asked and tried to see his face. It was getting stuffy under the blankets, so he pulled them away only so much that their heads were uncovered.

Gaara curled up even more, "He's back."

"Who?"

The redhead tensed and even when Naruto caressed his stomach, he didn't relax.

"The man next door."

"You mean… _that_ man?" Naruto repeated, "The one who gave you your tattoo…?"

Silence followed and the redhead refused to relax. "I saw him when I was in the garden."

"But I thought you told me he moved away," Naruto was confused.

"He did. But he never sold the house. It was his daughter who lived there for the past ten years," Gaara explained slowly albeit his breathing was picking up speed.

"You're safe here, you can calm down," Naruto said soothingly and pulled him against his chest. Gaara let out a small whine and snuggled closer to him. Very tenderly he soothed down the red locks and then kissed the top of his head.

"Did he see you?" Naruto asked.

"No. When I saw him, I ran."

"Oh, Gaara…" Naruto said and hugged him tighter, "You're safe now."

When his companion said nothing but only trembled nervously, an ominous feeling settled in the pit of Naruto's stomach.

"What is it in him that gets you like this?" Naruto asked.

For an answer Gaara shook his head like he was trying to deny something. If it was his inner thoughts or something to do with their conversation, Naruto couldn't be sure. Gaara's breaths were picking up speed again and his grip on Naruto's shirt tightened.

"I don't want to see him. When I see him, I remember. And I don't want to. I don't want him bringing back the things he left me with," Gaara whispered but his voice came out more like a hiss.

"He really hurt you," the blond said and fastened the blanket more tightly around the redhead.

"He was forty-something. I was fifteen," Gaara only reminded him through gritted teeth, "I trusted him. And by protecting me from my family he gave me a debt of gratitude I couldn't pay off. So I did what he asked me to, because even then it was better than what I endured back home. Eventually I grew attached to him. It was easier that way. But then he left and I was brought back under my Father's care and all hell broke loose."

Naruto didn't know what to say. What could anyone say to something horribly saddening like that? With gentleness he rubbed circles on the redhead's shoulder and kissed the top of his head. Gaara seemed oddly unresponsive, like he wasn't home. His blank face was completely expressionless and his movements were calm and calculated. It felt like the earlier panic had just suddenly vanished into thin air.

"Do you want to talk about it? I'll always listen if you have something on your heart," Naruto whispered.

The empty look Gaara gave him in response was downright chilling. Slowly, the redhead shook his head as a 'no'.

For the rest of the evening, Gaara remained uncharacteristically silent. Naruto concluded it had to be a natural result after the shock he had endured earlier. The way he kept out of windows that offered a view to their neighbor's yard was equally understandable, and before getting to bed, Naruto double-checked that the door was indeed locked.

Glad that his friend had calmed down, even though his eerie silence bothered him, Naruto was sure the redhead would feel much better in the morning.

* * *

Thick, pungent smell woke Naruto up and he coughed violently. Instinctively he turned to wake up Gaara but there was no one by his side.

Coughing so more, he climbed out of bed and stormed out of his room, calling Gaara's name for he was sure the house was now on fire just like Kankuro had feared.

After futile search he dashed outside and the revolting smell got even stronger.

Dark, thick cloud of smoke rose up from the garden and without a second thought he ran there with bare feet.

Relieved to see his friend was alive and well, even though clearly not alright, Naruto took in the scene. A rusty barrel was the cause of that horrible, probably poisonous smoke. Flames got threateningly high as Gaara threw another suit into the barrel and squirted some charcoal lighter fluid in there.

"Are you feeling alright?" Naruto asked calmly.

"Better than ever," Gaara replied and his answer all but convinced Naruto. On the ground, there lay a pile of photos, some still in frames, next to a small hammer and a pile of his father's suits.

Like he was doing any ordinary chore, Gaara systematically smashed the glass of the photo frames broken and then tossed them in the fire. Before burning the suits, he went through the pockets.

A metallic pocket flask shone in sunlight as Gaara pulled it from its years-long hiding place. Angrily, he squeezed it in his fist before tossing it to the ground. Without nostalgia, he banged it with his hammer until it was nothing but a dented memory, and then threw it into the flames.

Fists clenched by his sides, the redhead stared at the smoking hazard and kicked the barrel in anger.

"Hey, careful there," Naruto yelped and grabbed Gaara's shoulders, eyes glued to the swaying barrel that―thankfully―didn't fall over.

"Maybe that's enough," Naruto coaxed.

"No. There are still suits left."

"That smoke's pretty disgusting. I'm sure the neighbors will complain if you don't put that out," Naruto said and the redhead froze all over.

At first he thought it was because of something he'd said, until he noticed a concerned looking man standing five yards away from them. His face was partly covered with a cloth, an unusual choice in Naruto's opinion, and he wondered what kind of tan lines it left him with.

"Is everything alright in here?" the man asked cautiously, his voice friendly and unthreatening, as he stepped closer to inspect the source of the poisonous smoke that terrorized the whole neighborhood.

"We've got everything under control," Naruto assured and flashed a convincing smile, all the while holding his friend's arm. When Gaara tensed even more, the blond added, "Maybe you should go."

The man glanced around, as if not minding his words at all. "Is your brother home?"

Gaara's breathing quickened as the unsuspecting man got closer. The neighbor eyed the pile of unburned suits and family photos before giving a wary look at Gaara. "Are you feeling alright?"

Naruto couldn't anticipate the force Gaara freed his arm with. Just as quickly, the redhead found the lighter fluid and squirted it all over the perplexed man, who was too stunned to dodge when the flaming barrel fell on his way and unluckily for him, his clothes caught fire.

In the midst of screams coming from their horrified neighbor, Naruto rushed to the full watering cans his crazed friend had luckily brought here earlier―his intention had surely not been to burn down their house after all. The man rolled on the ground, trying to discard his clothes without succeeding. Not wasting a second, Naruto poured water all over him until the last of the flames had died down.

Meanwhile, Gaara had thankfully grabbed the second watering can and put out the sneaky fire that had gotten a foothold on the grass and was making its way towards the house.

* * *

With a cloud of somberness over them, Naruto and Gaara sat at the kitchen table. No matter that they had aired the house that awful smell of burning memories still stayed in the rooms.

"Should we call your brother?" Naruto asked warily.

"Hell no," Gaara said with a sharp look.

"He won't be happy when he comes home," Naruto pondered.

For an answer, Gaara only rubbed his face in a tired way. "I'm sorry."

"You had a lot of pent up feelings. They were bound to surface in a way or another," Naruto knew. Bottling up feelings just wasn't healthy. By doing that, all that unprocessed waste would only find a way to spurt out from underneath the heavy layers of soil like a mutated flower.

"I don't say I did the right thing, but I don't regret it, either," Gaara told, but the slightly hesitant way he kept on rubbing his forehead told Naruto that he might be feeling a little more regretful than he let know.

"What do you think will happen next?" Naruto pondered aloud, his dark blue eyes searching the redhead's face.

Gaara gulped and his nervousness grew, "Kankuro will freak out, and that's not a good thing. I've tried to not add more burdens to his shoulders but I've only managed to do just that. He might try to send me living with Temari, which I know is only an empty threat."

"Your brother loves you. You're not a burden to anyone, Gaara," the blond whispered and took hold of his hand that lay on the table. Gaara gave a soft squeeze in response. "What happened to you when you were younger was not your fault. Your brother sees that. I'm sure things will work out."

Gaara didn't look assured.

"I'm sure Kankuro will understand. We will explain to him what happened, and he will understand. And when it comes to our unwanted neighbor, we'll figure out what to do with him," Naruto spoke calmly.

It seemed his words had the desired effect as the redhead's nervousness faded eventually.

"Naruto… I don't know what I'd do without you," Gaara confessed shyly.

A wide grin spread on the tanned face, "I can say the same."

Gaara replied with a small smile-like expression until his features darkened again. "I… I want to stay with you, for always. You stabilize me and I'm not exactly sure how you do that, you just have that kind of effect on me. I want to live with you, but it scares me to leave my brother behind. He knows how to read my moods. And maybe I'm also a little worried about him, too."

"I understand," Naruto said, "Added to that, he makes the best food. I can't really cook anything but water. And if we were left at the mercy of your cooking skills, we would have tea and sandwiches for all eternity."

His humor seemed to amuse the redhead, who sighed, "And I don't really like leaving the house, so going to shopping or socializing with people is a challenge sometimes."

That was true, and Naruto nodded in agreement. "Given how my protective instincts sometimes run high, our shopping sprees would last quite long before I had satisfyingly misled our trackers."

The redhead gave him a knowing look that clearly told he remembered each and every one of their little 'diversion operations'. Thanks to Naruto's suspicions, many unknown backroads were now more than familiar to them.

"Just imagine what it would look like if the two of us lived together," Gaara said aloud the thing Naruto had been wondering by himself, too. "Besides, I don't have a job or any income. I would only strain you financially, and maybe mentally, too."

Naruto sighed and reached for Gaara's hand again. "You could never 'strain me mentally', as you put it. It's the contrary, you make me feel better. And when it comes to money, I'm sure we'll always get by somehow. At least we have each other, right?"

"Right. But I don't plan on staying unemployed the rest of my life," Gaara said and then continued a little hesitantly, "I've thought that maybe I could turn the hardships I've faced into my advantage. Youth work seems like a thing I could do. There are a lot of troubled teens out there who need help. And Tenten told me I could do a work try-out at her workplace. That way I would see if I'm suitable for that field. If I were though, I would have to go back to school to get proper education."

To hear Gaara talk so many sentences in a row was new, but what made it all the more amazing was that he spoke so hopefully of his future. It made Naruto smile.

"That sounds wonderful, Gaara. You can be sure I'm always here by your side to support you whenever you need it."

"Thanks," the redhead said quietly and there was a hint of embarrassment in his voice. "But let's not get ahead of things. Nothing is certain yet."

"The most important thing is that you see a future for yourself," Naruto replied and squeezed Gaara's hand. "And before we someday have a place of our own, let's just hope your brother wants to live with us in the meanwhile."

Gaara nodded. "Yes. Let's hope Kankuro wants to put up with us."

* * *

"Gaara? Naruto? What has happened here?"

Kankuro's worried voice called from downstairs, accompanied with a muffled thud as he hastily dropped his heavy bag on the floor.

The culprits walked slowly down the stairs in shame. That rusty, smelling barrel and a pile of suits on the yard accompanied with two watering cans haphazardly thrown across the lawn surely weren't an everyday sight.

And then there were those little burnt areas on the grass, where fire had traveled until it was put out.

"Gaara?" Kankuro asked with an impossibly concerned voice, "Explain."

Behind the redhead's back, Naruto grimaced and his whole face felt stiff. There would be no good way to tell what had happened, right?

"I started to dispose Father's suits, just as we had discussed earlier," Gaara started.

Good. That sounded normal and not crazy at all. The worried look on Kankuro's face momentarily eased.

"Alright. What about that burnt lawn? Did something happen?" Now his concern was slowly coming back with each sharp tick of the clock as seconds walked by in silence.

Naruto's grimace froze as Gaara lifted his face to look at his brother, "The fire escaped from the barrel."

No. No, no. That didn't sound good at all, and in his mind Naruto already wailed as the crease between Kankuro's brows deepened.

"W-What?" the brunet asked, "But haven't I told you to be careful? Did you try to burn down the house or what?" Kankuro made it sound like he was joking, but the sweat dripping on his temple told another story.

Naruto was about to offer a made-up explanation for their behalf but Gaara was quicker to speak.

"I didn't try to harm our house. I was trying to burn the man next door."

Kankuro's jaw dropped in shock, "B-Bu-Bu― _Burn_ the man next door…?"

Naruto had never ever seen the brunet so panicked. It looked like he was about get a seizure.

"Naruto was able to put out the fire in his clothes. He didn't die or anything," Gaara said calmly.

One. Two. Three seconds of total silence as Kankuro processed what he had heard. The corner of his mouth twitched as a grimace took over his whole face. He opened his mouth a few times but no response ever came.

"We're sorry," Naruto blurted innocently and the moment those onyx depths turned on him, he realized his mistake.

"Nobody meant to harm anyone!" the blond exclaimed in panic, waving his hands in the air in a conciliatory way.

"That's not correct," Gaara interrupted calmly, like no emotion was connected to him at the moment, "I intended to hurt him."

If possible, the worry on Kankuro's face tenfolded and he pulled his little brother into a crushing hug. His eyes were definitely wet and he clenched them shut, letting his tears stream down his cheeks. Naruto witnessed the sight with growing unease. Currently he was more worried about the unemotional state Gaara seemed to be in, rather than the fear that there could be a limit to Kankuro's patience with them.

* * *

At supper, Kankuro drummed the table in an anxious rhythm. His fingernails looked like sawteeth and in his eyes there was an empty look.

"He's going to sue us, isn't he?" he wailed to no one in particular.

Gaara didn't look concerned at all, and compared to his brother he looked calm like a summer cloud.

"I don't think he is."

Kankuro's attention snapped at his little brother and the drumming stopped, "How can you know? He's going to rob us clean and send us living in the gutter!"

Even after this point, Gaara didn't look concerned. Calmly, he sipped his mint tea and continued reading the newspaper.

"He doesn't have the guts to sue us."

Kankuro stared at his little brother strangely, like he was reading his moods between the lines. The brunet looked grave and haunted and in the bottom of his eyes there was a glint of honest sadness.

Naruto wanted to comfort them both but didn't know what to say. He had a feeling there was something going on, but asking what it was would be equal to throwing a match into a pool of gasoline.

"Maybe we could go apologize to him?"

Naruto's suggestion was met with an eerie silence as two pairs of surprised eyes stared at him with unbelief. Gaara was the first one to narrow his eyes and turn his face into stone.

"No. Nobody's going there."

The redhead's absolute denial seemed to calm down the brunet for some odd reason. Naruto had almost sworn there would be some mature reasoning―or at least some panicked muttering―on Kankuro's part but instead the man kept quiet. He was biting his nails again nervously.

Ding dong.

"W-Who could that be?" Kankuro paled at the sound of doorbell. He shrunk against the back of his chair. "You guys are not expecting anyone, are you?"

Gaara ignored his brother's despair. "Do you want me to check who it is?"

The look on his face was blank and emotionless. Once again it looked like no one was home. Kankuro eyed the sight of his little brother warily.

"I'll go get the door," the brunet replied as his studying gaze lingered on the redhead. With stiff movements, he headed to the door.

After a few seconds he came back to the kitchen, looking even paler than before, "Naruto, it's for you."

"Huh?" Naruto looked surprised, "Who could that be?"

There on the porch sat his pink-haired friend, looking eerily calm. The way she had hung her head made her look sadder than ever.

"Hi," Naruto said softly and sat next to her, "I didn't expect to see you here."

Sakura kept on staring at the creaks between the floorboards. On the yard, her parents' SUV stood neatly parked. It was rare to see her loan their car, given how she and Sasuke always traveled with their own one.

"I left him."

Naruto repeated her words in his head twice just to make sure he had heard it right.

"R-Really?" he asked dumbly. For as long as he could remember, her infatuation with Sasuke had lasted more hardships than anybody had betted on. "I didn't see that coming."

Sakura glanced at him with the saddest of looks, "I know. And I'm sorry what happened at the cottage. Sasuke acted really awful."

Naruto sighed, "Yeah, he did. But you know how his family is."

"Tell me about it," Sakura muttered.

As long as Naruto could remember, the Uchiha family's sole purpose revolved around Itachi's existence. Mr. and Mrs. Uchiha's blind adoration towards their eldest son was never questioned―a lesson Naruto had learned early on. To realize their idol was corrupted was something incomprehensible, and rather than to see Itachi's true colors, the family turned a blind eye on it and found guilt elsewhere. Naruto knew that all too well. He just hadn't believed Sasuke would so easily agree with his family and deem him as a scapegoat, too. But it seemed he had been wrong.

"I spent the last night at my parents' place. I'll be staying there until I can find a place of my own," Sakura explained matter-of-factly.

As far as he knew, it seemed like the worst emotional storm had already walked past her. Not that he particularly cared, but he couldn't help but wonder how Sasuke had taken it.

"How's Sasuke doing?" Naruto heard himself asking.

Sakura glanced at him wryly, "He's taking it better than I thought. Even so, he refused to see any fault in himself and instead blamed me for betraying him. Kiba's now with him, helping him to cope."

"Oh," Naruto only said and shuddered all of a sudden.

"Naruto," she said and now she held a concerned look on her face, "I heard what happened with Kiba. I'm so sorry. I wanted to join you guys but in the last minute Sasuke had another fit of jealousy and told me not to go. And I was stupid and obeyed him."

Naruto wondered what version of reality Kiba had actually forwarded. But all that mattered was that Sakura's sympathies now lay on him. Maybe she had read between the lines and seen the true state of things.

"Don't worry about it, Sakura," he only said, not wanting to go there now. He had enough problems of his own and now he only wanted to comfort his friend, who had a fresh break up going on.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked and instinctively leaned closer. Automatically, she leaned away and when he realized this, something akin to shame overcame him and he leaned away, too.

"I'll be okay. We had this coming," Sakura told and wiped her eyes where subtle wetness had gathered.

"I'm sorry for you," Naruto comforted, "If you ever want to talk, I'll listen."

As a gust of wind blew through the porch, she shivered and her perfume wafted into Naruto's nose.

"Would you like to come in? I can make you tea, or anything you'd like."

She looked at him sympathetically. "Thanks but I have to get going. Tenten's coming in an hour and I have to drop by a grocery store first."

He understood what it meant. His clumsy comforting wasn't needed, and someone more skillful for that job had already been called for help. It was alright. He wasn't envious, at all.

"If you'd like, I'd love to go for a walk with you tomorrow," Sakura said when she noticed his mood.

Naruto instantly perched up, "Alright!"

* * *

Talking with her left Naruto feeling disoriented.

Instead of going back in, he found himself wandering into the garden. Thick bushes quickly hid him from the view as he walked deeper into that fantastic creation of one red haired gardener.

He thought he was alone, so he stopped admiring those little purple flowers on the border of their yard. Gaara always found the patience to repeat the names of his plant friends to him, but no matter how often he'd heard what these guys were called, he couldn't remember it.

"Good evening."

Naruto startled out of his musings and faced the wary-looking man standing on the other side of the border. That was the same man from before, once again sporting that weird style which covered half of his face with a white cloth.

"Um, hi," Naruto replied uneasily.

Upon seeing the nasty looking marks on the man's hands, he felt like he should apologize.

"I'm sorry."

The man inclined slightly towards his direction. "Don't worry. It was not your fault."

That was correct. However, it didn't make Naruto feel any lighter. Maybe he should go, given how his verbal skills had strangely vanished again. He glanced over his shoulder at the upstairs windows but no one was there.

"You are his friend, aren't you?" the man asked kindly.

"Yes," Naruto admitted.

"That's good to hear. He didn't use to have any friends back then," the man told calmly.

Naruto evaluated his trustworthiness and possible motives. Given how the man stood with perfect posture, his gaze fixed all but nervously on the surrounding wilderness, he most likely wasn't up to something mischievous. To say he radiated trustworthiness would be an exaggeration, but he didn't give an image of a phony, either.

"What do you mean back then?" Naruto asked and nonchalantly traced his finger along a thin leaf of a nearby bush.

"Maybe you already know that I used to live here a decade ago, and that Gaara used to live with me for some years," the man explained. The string of pain in his voice didn't go unnoticed by the blond.

Some _years_ , huh?

"He has mentioned that," Naruto shrugged and looked up at the sky.

"He was having serious trouble at home and he was poor at socializing with his peers. I got him to a psychologist in hopes of erasing the damage his environment had caused him. Everything was looking good, until… Ah, those were difficult times back then. Anyway, I'm sorry to see he hasn't overcome his issues even to this day," the man said and lowered his gaze like he was truly sad.

"W-What happened?" Naruto asked curiously, no longer able to keep his thirst of knowledge out of his voice.

The man evaluated him silently, the gaze of his lone visible eye staying on Naruto until it quickly visited the windows upstairs.

"It's getting late. Maybe we can continue our little chat some other day," the man replied politely and bowed to him slightly before making his way back to his house.

The conversation left a chill on Naruto's skin and he shuddered. He glanced over his shoulder at the darkened windows again but there was no one in there.

* * *

A few days later, Naruto was picking up mail from the mailbox on his way home from work. Lazily he shuffled through the envelopes to see if there would be anything for him, when a strange name caught his attention.

There was a letter dedicated to someone named Baki. Naruto peered at the address. It was the house right next to theirs.

Diligently he made his way there, planning to drop the foreign envelope into correct mail box in silence. But there was light on the windows. It looked like someone was home. Naruto glanced around the yard, before hesitantly making his way to their neighbor's porch.

Five seconds later the man answered the doorbell.

"Hi… Baki," Naruto greeted and draped him the mail, "This came accidentally to us."

"Oh, thank you," the man replied. Given how he looked, he hadn't expected such kindness.

"My name is Naruto," he said out of courtesy.

"It's nice to meet you again. Would you like to come in?" Baki asked casually as he tore the envelope open.

"Well…" Naruto looked around but saw no one on his home yard. He knew he shouldn't have come here at all, but something had lured him into crossing the border line. He didn't think Gaara or Kankuro were home at the moment, so most likely this little visit would stay as a secret.

"I believe our conversation was cut short the last time," the man reminded as he quickly scanned the contents of the letter. Then, he tossed it on top of a nearby table.

Yes, their earlier conversation had indeed had some elements that still intrigued Naruto. Gaara was always so tight-lipped about his past, and out of courtesy he rarely dared to ask him about it. Because of that, it was really none of his business trying to figure things out on his own. And he wasn't here to dig up secrets. What he was looking for was a way to make their unwanted neighbor leave the place.

"Alright," Naruto finally agreed and let the man lead them into the kitchen.

While the man busied himself with making coffee, Naruto glanced around his surroundings. Pink saintpaulias bloomed by the window. What an unusual choice for a man in his fifties.

Soon enough an elegant cup of steaming coffee was served to him. The man sat down across him, absentmindedly pressing his finger in the soil in the pots to determine possible need of watering.

"You seem to be a close friend of Gaara," Baki said casually.

Naruto coughed and put his cup down. He glanced at the man shyly, trying to decipher if he was trustworthy or not. But the gentle look on his face made him lower his guard.

"Yeah."

Baki smiled warmly and looked out of the window. "I'm happy he has someone like you around. You seem like a nice guy, Naruto."

The blond traced his fingertip along the edge of his cup. Maybe it was just the coffee but he was feeling hot and nervous. He looked around, wondering if these pieces of furniture held any memories for Gaara, if the redhead had ever sat in this chair and seen what he was seeing now. And Naruto pondered if he was in fact some sort of time traveler, sent back here from the future only to drive Baki away, so that future Gaara wouldn't go through as much pain as he surely would if the course of events wasn't changed.

Just like that a heavy burden settled on Naruto's shoulders, and he slumped under the weight of his responsibilities.

The man waited for him to reply but when it didn't happen, he calmly started to talk again.

"Have you lived here for a long time already?" Baki asked.

"Some months," Naruto told. He should tell the man now what he was here for, and quit wasting both of their time. He opened his mouth a few times but nothing came out. Maybe there was something within these walls that sucked out all his energy. Maybe the envelope had been a trap designed to lure him here and eventually rob him of his powers.

"I'm glad you seem to get so well along with Gaara. He has grown up a lot, as well as Kankuro has, too," Baki had noticed, but then he continued with a darker tone, "You must've wondered why he attacked me like that."

"Well…" Naruto said uneasily and fiddled the tablecloth, "Gaara has told me something. And based on that, I believe he has his reasons, even though I don't think he did the right thing though."

"Don't worry," Baki understood calmly, "I guess I had it coming. The only thing that saddens me is that he's still in so much pain."

Naruto nodded, not sure how to reply. Maybe now would be a good moment to point out he wasn't exactly a wanted neighbor. He stared at the wall behind Baki's back and a faded photograph looked right back at him. It was of a man that very much resembled the Gaara he knew, but who was older than him. Was that the future Gaara, watching over his process? He couldn't really see it clearly from this far, but those darkly lined eyes looked haunted and hollow. He could recognize that look from anywhere, but there was something different in those facial features.

At this point, Naruto couldn't exclude the possibility that this house might be bewitched in some way.

Baki sipped his coffee and then lowered his cup with a steady movement.

"I believe those were his father's suits he was disposing," Baki stated and again, the blond nodded to confirm it. "When I heard Rasa passed away, I hoped his children would get a chance for a better life."

"They don't really mention their late father that much," Naruto only said and sipped his drink.

Casually Baki pointed his thumb at the picture behind his back, the one which portrayed the haunted-looking man.

"Rasa was a friend of mine ever since childhood. We went to army together. Those were great times, yet I saw he wasn't feeling well. I tried to help him the best I could, but despite my efforts his life seemed to go into a direction that was not healthy for him," Baki told with a far-away look in his eyes.

Naruto glanced at the picture. A chill went down his spine. Gaara and Kankuro's father was a person that was never really discussed, and to hear so much information about him felt intriguing. However, he was not here to spy but to deliver a message.

"They haven't really opened up about their late father. As far as I know it's a touchy subject for them, and I don't know if they'd appreciate you telling me about these things," Naruto said politely, hoping his words would result a natural pause in conversation, which in turn would give him room to put his original plan into action.

Baki waved his hand dismissively, a thing Naruto hadn't been waiting for.

"Don't worry about it. I think you need to know. It's too painful for either of them to put it into words, but if you're aware of certain things, it'll make it easier for you to understand them."

Naruto's shoulders slumped a little in defeat. Even though he felt uneasy, he couldn't help that a spark of curiosity tickled his skin just under the surface.

"Rasa came from a long line of fundamentalists, and his parents wanted him to become a priest. It was just another closet they tried to put him into, and for some reason Rasa let it happen. After the army we got both married, Rasa to his beautiful Karura, and me to a woman I had met in college. We settled down here and our children grew up together. It was a wonderful time until Karura died," Baki told and sipped his hot drink.

Naruto nodded and mirrored his action.

"With his wife gone, Rasa was lost. Taking care of three children all alone was tiring and I tried to help him the best I could. Around that time I got divorced and my wife took our only daughter with her. I was alone and devastated, yet every time I saw Rasa I felt a sense of purpose," the man continued his monologue.

Sun was shining brighter now like someone in the heavens was listening to them.

"But Rasa was prideful and closed off and rejected my help more than once. In a way, Gaara was a lot like how young Rasa used to be. Gaara, too, suffered from his family's prejudices and was expected to fulfill certain role expectations. I was afraid Gaara would one day end up bitter like him, so I tried to intervene. In his good days, Rasa was a wonderful parent, yet he had a tendency to escape his problems in unfortunate ways," Baki said.

"I was told he had a drinking problem," Naruto confessed and stole a glance at the haunting picture again.

"Yes, he did. He had his reasons to do so, and I can partially understand him. But it was not alright how he treated his family or Gaara especially. It saddened me more than anything to see Gaara wither away in the mental prison that was their home."

Naruto glanced at the flowers again and the velvety texture of their strange, green leaves reminded him of the equally strange encounter he had had with Baki in the border of their yards some days prior. "What did you mean earlier, when you said things were looking good for Gaara, until something happened?"

"Ah, that," the man sighed and rubbed his face like the mere memory brought him pain.

"Back then, Gaara had made impressive progress with his psychologist. Even his father was turning more amicable towards Gaara living with me. No more was his son's absence at home the epitome of his failure as a father, but a sign that help from outside could really make a positive difference. Everything looked really fine, like a silver lining we had all been waiting for," Baki told and lifted up his gaze to the heights with a content breath.

But then his mood sank once again.

"Until one night, Rasa saw us kissing in front of the window. After that everything became very complicated," Baki told. "Rasa came to me with his rifle but unlike usually, this time he was sober. When he pointed his gun at me, he was livid. He told me to stay away from his son but I knew Gaara wouldn't feel any better under his care, either."

Naruto felt sickened already.

"I tried to reason with him but as I should've known, it didn't work. Back then I was switching jobs and I was about to move to another city. I was planning on taking Gaara with me, while my grown up daughter would inhabit this house of mine. But as you can guess, our plan didn't work out."

"What do you mean?"

"Rasa warned me that if I took his son with me, something bad would happen to my daughter," Baki said. "He wanted to see me in jail but I told him I'd report him to the child welfare officers if he ever tried to sue me. He knew his children would be taken away from him, and he quietly dropped his threats. Heck, I should've just reported him anyway. And I deserved to be convicted, too, yet back then I was too much of a coward to admit it to myself."

Naruto lowered his gaze to his cup, gently tracing his fingertip along the edge just to ground himself on reality.

"He was just a father who loved his children, in his own complicated way. And I loved my daughter. That's why I had to leave Gaara behind and send him back to the man he didn't get along with. I believe he detests me for that, too, even today." Baki looked crestfallen and older than before.

A wave of bitterness washed over Naruto. An image of shocked Gaara trembling in his arms came back to him when he remembered just how horribly this man's 'intervention' had scarred his precious friend. He was about to stand up and deliver his message right then and there, but the air around him felt heavy and it pressed him down against his chair. He opened his mouth a few times but the thick air flooded into him, filling up his throat and stealing away the words that had been right on his tongue.

But the target of his hidden hostility didn't seem to notice any of this. The look on Baki's face turned into pained and he shook his head like some long-ago crime was burdening his shoulders.

"I just wanted to help him. But I got lost on the way."

"How could you?" Naruto found his voice. His throat was dry and the earlier sunlight had dimmed down. He was sickened and the sea inside his stomach was storming. Thunder rumbled behind the images of Gaara kicking the flaming barrel towards his wrongdoer. It wasn't the right thing to do, but he could now see where Gaara was coming from.

Baki fell silent. He drummed his fingers nervously against his cup until he calmed down and sighed, "Gaara was curious about those things. He had no one to answer his questions, and I feared he'd be taken advantage of sooner or later."

"And so _you_ ended up taking advantage of him."

"I know. And I despise myself for it," Baki whispered. The man sounded crestfallen and his visible eye was wet.

"I never meant to go that far. I only wanted to protect him. In his teenage years, Gaara was very much like his father used to be. He had the same temper and thoughtfulness in him. Even some of his gestures were like copies of Rasa. And I knew I shouldn't have… but I kept on seeing Rasa every time I looked at Gaara, and I lost my sense of reality.

"I just… I truly l-loved Gaara like I loved his father, and I only hope that one day he's able to overcome his problems and lead a life full of love and stability. I know that Gaara still despises me, and I know I deserve it. I'm prepared to live my remaining life without ever receiving his forgiveness. I just wish I could tell him how much I regret what happened but I'm afraid he doesn't want to hear it. You have to believe me, Naruto, when I say I honestly want only the best for him," Baki told and wiped his eye.

"If you want the best for him, I suggest you find yourself another address far away from here," Naruto finally managed to say and concentrated on each word. He didn't need to put anger into his voice, for however justified his emotions were, he wasn't here to make an enemy.

Baki didn't respond to his suggestion, but his lone eye was not tearing anymore. His fingers trembled slightly but when Baki squeezed his hands into fists, the movement stopped. Naruto lifted up his gaze to the half-veiled face and suddenly the man didn't look so fragile anymore.

The air felt once again as heavy as lead. The gaze of Baki's lone eye was glued on Naruto and it looked more piercing than ever, and behind the window sun had hid behind thick clouds. Big drops of rain splashed against the window and the room darkened.

Naruto could swear the mute expression on the photo had transformed into something more ominous in the meanwhile, and when his alarmed eyes darted back to Baki, the man was giving him a soul-searching look. Naruto narrowed his eyes in defense. He wouldn't be surprised to learn that an all-seeing eye, or a futuristic camera of some sort, was behind that cloth that covered half of the man's face. Perhaps that device was recording his thoughts even now.

The corners of Naruto's mouth twitched as a powerful energy hummed around his inner organs. He kept on staring at the man, at his assumed robotic eye and sending back thoughts that would drive him away from their peaceful neighborhood. Given how the man still studied him calmly, he had to be receiving his wordless messages.

Cheery melody of doorbell interrupted Naruto's paranoid thoughts.

"Excuse me," Baki apologized and headed for the door.

In his chair, Naruto leaned closer to hear better what was happening.

"Gaara?" the man was surprised.

"Is Naruto here?"

"Oh yes he is. We're having coffee. Would you like to join us?"

Naruto could almost feel the tension all the way here. He got up and hurried to the door, only to see Gaara standing at the threshold with a demeaning look on his face. He looked all but alright.

"I came to pick him up. We're leaving now." It sounded like an awfully confident order.

"Alright," the man agreed calmly. "But let me just say you have a very nice friend."

"G-Gaara," Naruto said and the redhead's attention snapped on him in an instant. Jade eyes looked hollow but was there something bubbling just beneath the surface?

While quickly scratching his ear, Gaara said, "Come. We're going. Now."

"Right," the blond instantly understood the secret message behind that gesture. With one last look at their unwanted neighbor, he followed his friend to the door.

"Naruto," Baki called from behind his back, "Thank you. It was nice talking to you. You can visit me any time you want."

Before he could reply, Gaara took his hand and led them across the yard towards their home.

"How did you know I was there?" Naruto asked, a little out of breath thanks to their hurried pace.

"I saw you go there from the upstairs window. I intended to come sooner, but when I thought of having to see him I just…" Gaara trailed off and his hold on Naruto's hand tightened.

"I'm sorry," the blond apologized. A heavy weight returned on his shoulders. He had no idea how hard it was for Gaara to take those dreaded steps, and now he had forced him to go there. But even then, Gaara had beaten his anxiety and come to his 'rescue'.

Only when they were safely behind a locked door of their home, did Gaara let go of him.

Kankuro appeared in view and he looked pale again. "What's the matter?"

"I was just visiting―"

"The mailbox," Gaara interrupted Naruto and then glared at his brother threateningly. Kankuro seemed to understand, yet his worried gazed lingered on his little brother.

Naruto wanted to explain but Gaara was already leading him upstairs.

In the closet, Naruto crawled into the little fort they had built during a thunder storm. Their safe cocoon consisted of several blankets propped up with chairs and broomsticks. It was like a comforting tent made out of thick canvas. Now with all of the heavy suits gone, there was room for all this.

Gaara crawled next to him and tucked a spare blanket around Naruto like he was tucking in a toddler and telling him no monsters lived under his bed.

Even though it was late summer and the air was still on the warmer side, Naruto didn't have the heart to refuse and instead he just sweated in his clothes.

"Don't ever go there again," Gaara ordered.

"I'm sorry I did," Naruto whispered guiltily.

Gaara tucked the blanket around him a little more tightly, moving a lock of blond hair away from his forehead.

"We don't want him in our lives. We don't go there."

Naruto understood, even though he wasn't sure how he should― _if_ he should―tell what he had learned today.

"What did you two talk about?" Gaara asked, his studying gaze searching him rather neurotically. There was vulnerability in him Naruto had never seen before.

Carefully weighing what would be sensible to say, he opted for: "He told me about you living with him, about your father and how it all ended."

Cold glare met his warm blue but it softened quickly. The earlier bubbling emotion he had witnessed was turning into a tremble that overtook Gaara's whole body. Gaara sighed in a pained way and hugged his knees more tightly. Naruto tossed his blanket away and embraced the redhead.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone there. And he shouldn't have told me those things, because you didn't want me to know. I'm sorry about that, and I promise you I won't go near him again. I didn't mean to get you so worried, and I understand it must've been hard for you to come to his house, and I made you do just that. It wasn't the right thing to do."

Gaara pressed his face against his chest and soon his quiet, muffled sobs filled the small space. Naruto hugged him with all his might and whispered affectionate encouragements to his ear.

"It's alright, Gaara. You're safe now. I told him to move away."

"H-He won't do that. He came back for a reason, and he's trying to win you over to his side," the redhead sobbed quietly in the dark. "He tries to get to me through you."

"I won't let that happen," the blond promised. "I am not on his side and I never could be. I'm on your side, always. The only reason I went there was the letter in our mailbox that was addressed to him."

"I wonder if that was only an innocent coincidence."

"Gaara… I don't think anyone would do something like that just to lure us," Naruto said calmly. It felt strange to hear him dispel someone else's suspicious thoughts, when he had wondered about the envelope himself, too.

Someone knocked softly on the closet door and a moment later Kankuro's worried face peeked inside. He heard the stifled sobs coming from the self-made tent and hesitantly came closer. When he saw his little brother curled up into a little ball he crawled by his side and held him, too.

There were tears in the older brother's eyes and Naruto had to look at something neutral on the floor to keep his emotions in control. Kankuro's presence seemed to somewhat calm Gaara, and over time his mood stabilized enough for him to open up from his shielded position.

The moment Kankuro saw Gaara's red, puffy eyes he swallowed hard and then squeezed his arm.

"You were in his house, weren't you?" the brunet asked.

Naruto nodded on both of their behalf. A pained expression filled Kankuro's eyes and he anxiously rubbed his little brother's arm.

"G-Gaara… I promise you I'll always keep you safe. I swear if I had known back then I would've done something," the older brother whispered with his voice shaking.

"You didn't know because I didn't tell you. And when you finally found out, it was too late," Gaara told and wiped his eyes, "You did your best, Kankuro. You really did, and I'm thankful for it. I know I haven't always seen it, though."

"It's alright," Kankuro breathed and took a few deep breaths. "Everything will be alright now, I promise. You have me and Naruto, and as soon as possible, we're going to move away from here."

Now Gaara looked surprised, "What?"

"It's the only option I see. I don't think Baki is about to move away, and I don't want you running into him. I want to protect you, Gaara, and it feels like everything here hurts you. I don't want that," the brunet explained.

Naruto stared at the brothers quietly. A sense of dread was taking him over. He wanted the best for Gaara, too, but if the brothers moved away, did it mean he would have to say goodbye to them?

* * *

Later in the evening the three of them were sitting on the sofa. A harmless movie played in the background as they hungrily munched on their delivery pizzas. Kankuro kept his worried gaze constantly on Gaara, as if to ensure his little brother was safe and intact at every given moment.

"We're going to sell this house," Kankuro started and took a bite out of his slice, "I'll call Temari and then we'll start looking for buyers. If we can get enough money from this, we could get a smaller house on another district where we all had a room of our own."

Naruto was surprised. "Are you saying you'd take me with you?"

"Of course," Kankuro replied without a second thought, "You're a part of our family now. I can't see it any other way."

A sense of unimaginable happiness filled Naruto and the earlier dread vanished away. Everything would be alright, wouldn't it? One thing was still bothering him, though.

"What about the garden?" he asked.

The redhead only ate quietly his share of the food.

"I know how much it means for you," Naruto said and waited for his friend to say something, anything.

"Maybe the new house will have a similar yard, too?" Kankuro thought aloud, clearly trying to cheer up the redhead.

Finally Gaara said what he thought about it, "As long as I have you with me, I don't really care. Even if we're gone, summer will always come and the flowers will bloom."

* * *

Autumn had finally won over summer. Flowers had ceased to bloom and all the apples were ripe.

One Friday Kankuro was nervously fixing his hair in front of the hallway mirror, glancing at his watch every minute or two. When he realized this was the best he could do with his hair, he sighed in disappointment and concentrated on his clothes for a change. After some serious lint rolling, he started to go through his shoes. He hadn't that many, but it seemed to cause him trouble picking out the best pair.

By himself, Naruto chuckled at the sight of Kankuro and went back to the kitchen for some last minute snacks. Gaara sat at the table, impassive as ever and reading the newspaper.

"Come on guys, we're going to be late," Kankuro called from the hallway. Now he was twiddling his car keys nervously.

"Relax. She doesn't expect us to be super punctual. And it's better if the guests arrive at intervals," Naruto told him from the doorway.

A week ago, Sakura had found a place of her own. Tonight was the housewarming party they had all been invited to.

Despite Naruto's opinion, they ended up taking Kankuro's car. Naruto sat in the front, giving directions. Kankuro's anxiousness hadn't eased out, given how he kept on gripping the upper half of the wheel so that his fists almost bumped at the top.

When they were finally at the parking lot of Sakura's apartment building, Kankuro didn't unbuckle his seat belt.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked.

Kankuro stared through the windshield. "I don't know if I'm coming. You two can call me when you want me to pick you up."

"Nonsense. She invited you too, don't you remember? She sent a text message for you, something me and Gaara never got," Naruto reminded dryly, "So, come on."

He wanted to say something nice about Kankuro's clothes to boost his confidence, but was unsure how to compliment. He wasn't good when it came to delicate social cues like these.

"You won't stand out in a bad way there," Naruto ended up saying the only thing he could come up with. It was a thing that always comforted him whenever he doubted himself, and that was often.

It seemed his words delivered the message he had hoped they would. After a soft click, Kankuro's seatbelt came unlocked and he got out of the car. Then they made their way to the party.

"Hi, come on in," Sakura greeted them happily at the door.

Gaara went with his trademark greeting―a nod you could barely notice was even there―and Naruto just smiled widely, not daring to hug her. Kankuro was oddly reserved and tried to survive the situation with a handshake. But she had none of it, and instead of grabbing his hand she pulled him into a friendly hug.

Naruto and Gaara left them behind and made their way to the living room.

All the employees of the bookstore were there, as well as the former owner, Tsunade. Naruto saw her take a quick sip of a flask hidden in her pocket. He sighed and went for the snacks. Not only fond of sake, Tsunade was renowned of her love for gambling. Just hopefully no one would come up with a risky game of any sort this evening. Otherwise Sakura wouldn't get her aunt out of the house anytime soon.

Gaara kept by his side the whole time, and it wasn't surprising. He only knew three people here, and two of those three were currently out of sight. Naruto handed him a little plate full of snacks he knew he liked, and a cup of soda.

After Naruto quickly greeted the people he knew and introduced Gaara in passing, they found a quiet corner where they settled. Naruto kept on staring at the way Gaara ate his share of the snacks. Just a tiny bite at a time, as if he was afraid he would run out of food and be forced to go back to the crowded snack bar.

Nobody was particularly paying them any attention. With a piece of candy, Naruto touched Gaara's lips and the redhead took it into his mouth, purposely touching his fingers with his tongue. Heat flushed to Naruto's face and quickly he offered him another one. It was addicting to see him savor the treats like that, and Naruto wondered if he emphasized his reactions just for his entertainment. The thought made his heartbeat quicken.

Gaara held his hands and squeezed them meaningfully. Naruto glanced around but nobody was looking their way. In a specific way Gaara narrowed his eyes when he looked at Naruto: it was an intense mixture of purpose and desire, almost possessive in its depth. Suddenly Naruto was reminded of all the times they had been just skin on skin and the room started to feel very hot.

Slowly, almost sensually, Gaara reached for his earlobe and twiddled it and Naruto understood the meaning: he wanted to leave.

Naruto glanced around and saw Ino shouldering her bag. With a meaningful look at Gaara, they both stood up and asked if she could offer them a ride back home. She didn't live too far away from their house, after all.

The blond beauty evaluated her equally blond co-worker and his red haired companion with visible disinterest. However, soon a kind―yet a bit forced―expression overtook her features and she agreed.

They found Kankuro in the kitchen, helping Sakura with the snacks and drinks.

"Kankuro, we're going home. Ino promised to drop us off. Sakura, thanks for the party and congratulations," Naruto told.

"Why are you leaving already? Can't you stay a while longer?" Sakura asked, clearly surprised.

"I'm sorry. I'm not feeling very good to be honest. It could be that stomach bug that's been going around everywhere, and I'd hate to risk getting everyone here ill," Naruto told apologetically.

"But I can go with you guys, so that you don't have to bother anyone else," Kankuro said and was about to get up from his chair.

"No need to. Oh, there's Ino, we better go," the blond smiled quickly and then they were gone.

* * *

The first thing Naruto did when they got back home was to kiss his friend. He could still taste the salt and sugar on his lips. In the darkened hallway, Gaara looked even more intriguing and easily his fingers slithered into his blond locks, bringing their lips together once more.

They stumbled a little before they got their shoes off and then walked up the stairs hand in hand. These autumn nights were notoriously dark and in the dim lightning of the upstairs corridor, Gaara looked almost like a ghost with his ivory skin.

And then that ghost leaned closer and kissed Naruto once again. In a very realistic way, it all felt unreal. A shiver of thrill ran down his spine when the kiss got more possessive undertones.

"I want you so much," Naruto whispered. There was that sweetly salty taste of him again on his lips, endlessly alluring him. He wanted more of it, he had to get more, and Naruto moaned into their kiss longingly.

"I want to do it tonight," Naruto gasped and his cheeks were burning, "If you want it, too."

"I do."

Gaara's eyes were blazing with need, and even his voice wavered a little. His hands dived under Naruto's shirt, lifting it up to reveal his chest. The pressure of Gaara's touch was amazing and it left his skin burning with desire.

This redheaded ghost that lived in this house, the one that Naruto had been slightly scared of at first, was now drawn to him like a moth to a flame. Gaara unzipped the blond's jeans and massaged his erection through his boxers. Naruto let out a delighted cry.

He wanted this, and he had to have it.

It seemed Gaara shared his exact thoughts, for he squeezed his behind quite suggestively while grinding against him. Naruto―trapped between the corridor wall and his beloved ghost―desperately grabbed the backside of Gaara's shirt, partially wanting it gone, but mostly just wanting to express his passion.

The desire in Gaara's eyes got darker and he pulled Naruto into the bathroom. With their remaining clothes now completely gone, they kissed under the shower. The water was warm, but even hotter was Naruto's skin where ever Gaara touched him. Given how he was reacting to him, it was a miracle the water didn't evaporate.

"I'll be right there," Naruto told him after the shower. He wanted to make sure he was clean everywhere, that there wasn't anything down there to make things unnecessarily complicated.

Gaara kissed him on the lips and went to his room.

Soon after Naruto was there too, mesmerized by the soft atmosphere Gaara had managed to conjure up during his absence. An orange shirt was thrown over the lampshade that stood on the nightstand, dimming down the sharp glare of light they were so accustomed to.

Naruto sat down on the bed and shivered, but his chill was forgotten once Gaara was there beside him. He could drown into these kisses, into the way desire grew stronger and stronger in Gaara's eyes until it had eaten up the whole orb and nothing but burning passion was left.

The redhead was breathing shallowly when Naruto went down on him, taking him into his mouth and when his back arched with overflowing emotions, he felt like Gaara's pleasure was his pleasure, too. Broken gasps and airy breaths melted into steady rhythm and now those assertive jade eyes were clouded with need. Only when Gaara's trembling fingers entwined into his blond locks, pushing him gently away so that he wouldn't reach his peak just yet, did he stop and lick his lips innocently.

Naruto―now lying on his back with Gaara between his spread legs―sighed as the first lube-coated finger pushed through the tight ring of muscles. With the way Gaara was sucking him while aiming for his prostate, he didn't really notice when the second and third finger were gently added. Sure to keep him from coming, Gaara slowed his pace and made sure he was comfortably stretched and relaxed.

While squeezing the sheets into his fists, Naruto arched his back and stared at the redhead with half-lidded eyes. Only Gaara could make his skin burn like this. Only he was able to set him on fire with a mere glance.

He saw Gaara putting on a condom and then spreading lube all over it, and with a nod Naruto told him he was as ready as he could ever be. His legs came to rest on Gaara's shoulders, and slowly the redhead began to push inside.

"Haah…" the blond gasped and squeezed the sheets.

"Does it hurt?" Gaara asked worriedly and stopped.

"N-No… This is just something I've been waiting for so long," Naruto told.

His skin was mapped with electricity and where ever Gaara touched him, it pleasantly burned. The deeper he got, the fierier Naruto's desire grew. It was arousing that Gaara was so hard for him, that he could make the redhead that thrilled. Gaara's face was flushed with heat and his towel-dried hair clung to his forehead. When he set up a steady pace and his beautiful eyes closed momentarily, it was the sweetest sight Naruto had seen.

Naruto bent his knees a little more and found a position where it started to feel shockingly good.

"G-Gaara," he cried with voice seething with pleasure.

To see the unfocused look in Gaara's eyes was almost undoing him right then, how his ragged breath escaped from between his soft lips. He couldn't help it, Gaara just looked so desirable to him and the way he kept on hitting against his prostate was steadily opening all the locks that were chaining him down.

It was summer and spring and the whole universe in one moment. It was a pulse beginning where he lay, ending where Gaara was and all of their electric chemistry in between. Sweat and gasps and tightly squeezed sheets and an overwhelming emotion filling slowly his soul and melting him into one trembling heartbeat.

Gaara's eyes were glazed with emotion, his pale cheeks fully blushed and sweat gluing his red hair to his forehead, his trembling hands brushing against Naruto before steadying against the mattress again. Desperate moans telling him how good it felt for Gaara, and he could see it on his face too, his beautiful, open-mouthed face and his half-lidded eyes too clouded to see anything, really, but to reflect the passion and pleasure.

And he knew he shouldn't come this easily, he should last longer, but the way Gaara kept on moving against him, looking like the epitome of lust, he hardly had a choice.

"G-Gaara, if you don't s-stop I'll c-come," he stuttered and his balls had already tightened against his body.

"Then come for me," Gaara whispered with his raspy voice and caressed Naruto's cock, spreading the precum all over the tip.

God he could not take it any longer and with face twisted into pleasure he catapulted over the edge. For the upcoming sweet seconds world was an overwhelming mess of emotions too loud for him to comprehend. It was a beautiful explosion and when he eventually cracked his exhausted lids open, Gaara was staring at him with wide eyes.

Naruto―sprawled on the sheets with his legs spread, face flushed with a shade of sultry pink, trying to catch breath after so many incoherent, loud moans―was too much of a sight for Gaara it seemed, for the redhead collapsed on top him and his shaking hands entwined around Naruto's shoulders.

Gaara was trembling and his back was sweaty. By the way he kept on irregularly moaning and repeating Naruto's name, he had to be at least partially in another dimension already. When they kissed their teeth clanked together but it was all the more arousing, and when Naruto gently bit Gaara's lip, the redhead almost came undone then and there.

Naruto's fervent moans sparked him even further and then Gaara's pace quickened and he cried out his name. As always, Gaara looked so amazing when he came. Naruto loved to see him tremble in pleasure, all of his masks dropped down and pure emotion taking over completely.

In the haze of his emotions, Gaara propped himself on his arms and gazed down at his equally out-of-breath lover, before gently pulling out his softening erection. He held the condom by the base, ensuring it wouldn't slip off and cause a mess on the sheets. Like all the energy of the universe had been sucked out of him, he collapsed next to Naruto.

The blond caressed his exhausted lover and kissed his sweaty forehead. Gaara was out of breath, eyes almost closed and he seemed barely functioning. It was the most honest sight Naruto had seen. He really adored Gaara, there was no questioning it, and he would give his everything to always keep him safe and happy.

"I love you," Naruto whispered and when he realized what he had confessed, he quickly kissed the redhead.

He didn't know if Gaara felt the same, if he ever would, and to save them both from any awkwardness he kept on silencing him with soft kisses.

But Gaara cupped his cheek, breaking out of their kisses, and then looked at him with his hazed eyes.

"I love you too," he said and his eyes closed with a deep, wavering breath.

And right then Naruto knew he would spend the rest of his life with this wonderful redhead. No matter what obstacles they would face, he would always stay by his side and their mutual love would keep on blossoming. Summer would always come, even after the darkest days of winter.

He chuckled, for his thoughts were way cheesier than he had ever imagined they could be, and when Gaara asked him about this, he only told him how happy he was to have him by his side, for always.

* * *

They woke up around ten in the morning. Funny thing was that Kankuro wasn't home yet. When Gaara came to stand by the window, too, to witness the sight of one missing Audi, a mysterious smile crept to his face.

Naruto grinned at him and they shared a knowing look.

They spent the forenoon eating leftovers from the day before and watching television. Thanks to an idea of Naruto, they decided to dress in each other's clothes just for the absurdity of it. Gaara looked purely weird in an orange hoodie and light blue jeans. His white shocks were like a cherry on top. And his red hair just didn't match with any of the colors.

It made Naruto chuckle by himself, and he looked down at his borrowed attire. Ripped jeans that were a little too tight for him made him chuckle lightly. Equally tight T-shirt promoting a rather questionable hard rock band was something that looked absolutely amazing on Gaara, but on Naruto it was ironic at best. The chains on his hips chinked every time he moved and he could swear that the gaze of those jade, curious eyes stayed on his tight-clad crotch more often than usually.

They both looked like total dorks and Naruto loved it.

Around two in the afternoon they were making out on the couch a little. Naruto lay on top of Gaara, between his spread legs while kissing his neck. When Naruto ground against him, not surprised at all to feel something hard against him, the redhead let out an encouraging sigh. At all times Naruto was hyper aware of Gaara's preferences when it came to their roles, and was careful to not make him feel uncomfortable in any way.

Usually Gaara would end these little experiments sooner or later but now, he seemed to enjoy it in a different way than before.

"Are we boyfriends now, or what?" Naruto asked with sudden shyness. He had been meaning to ask this, but until last night he had been cautious. Sure, Gaara had never showed any signs of rejection, but his past experiences had taught him to be careful.

"Yeah. Of course we are," Gaara whispered softly. He was about to pull Naruto back into their interrupted kiss, but the troubled look on Naruto's face made him stop. "If you ask me, I think we've been boyfriends for a long time already."

"Really?" Naruto blurted out in awe. Happiness was rapidly filling up his heart.

"Yes," Gaara told and finally the blond lowered down again and they got back into kissing. But after a while, it was Gaara who wanted to add something more, "Labels or terms don't really matter to me. What is important is that we both feel the same. I don't want anyone else but you, Naruto."

He earned a warm smile from the blond. But then someone was parking on the yard and a sound of car door slamming shut followed.

By the time Kankuro made it to the living room, Naruto and Gaara were idly sitting on the sofa with a half-full bowl of popcorn between them.

Kankuro sat down next to Naruto, and it seemed he didn't notice the television wasn't on. They all just stared at the darkened screen for a while.

"You're home," Naruto pointed out when their moment started to feel a bit too unusual.

"Yeah," Kankuro replied slightly dreamily and patted his ripped knee. It occurred to Naruto just then that the glazed look on the brunet's eyes maybe prevented him from realizing that the angsty rocker right next to him wasn't in fact his moody little brother, but his blond tenant.

"I helped Sakura clean up after the party," Kankuro explained matter-of-factly, "Someone had brought a deck of cards and a few dices along, and it was quite a show to get her aunt leave in the end of the evening. Before Tsunade could pass out from all the liquor she had gotten from somewhere, Sakura was able to get Shizune to pick her up and take her safely back home. Apparently her aunt and that woman live together."

Naruto only nodded, not sure what to say. He liked listening to Kankuro's smooth voice and didn't want to interrupt him. Kankuro was still staring at the darkened TV screen with dreamy look in his eyes.

"That was a nice apartment, don't you think? The floor plan was really clever and the way the architect had taken all the compass points into account was amazing," the brunet told.

Naruto and Gaara shared a look.

"It just gives me so much hope that such functional apartments still exist. Maybe the three of us will find a nice place, too?" Kankuro said excitedly and pulled the black-clad Naruto into a brotherly hug. He pressed his cheek against the blond head and rubbed his arm caringly. "Everything's going to be alright, don't you worry Gaara."

Naruto was about to say something and Gaara just eyed the sight with a humored expression, when the big brother launched into another excited monologue.

"You know, I would've come home last night but I happened to drink a glass of beer before I even realized and I just thought it wouldn't be safe for me to hit the road like that."

"Kankuro," Gaara called out calmly and the brunet released the black-clad person from his hug. He turned his head into the direction of the sound, and seemed to realize just then that the head that spoke with Gaara's voice had suddenly changed bodies with their tenant.

"Your clothes…" Kankuro trailed off and his eyes darted between them.

"And your shirt is inside out," Gaara pointed out.

Slight blush colored Kankuro's cheeks and he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Naruto couldn't help but grin unashamedly. No matter that it would always pain him to some level to see Sakura find everyone else attractive but him, he certainly was happy for the latest turn of events.

His feelings towards his pink haired friend were certainly platonic, and long ago he had accepted he would never receive her romantic attention. It was more than alright for him, and he told his jealousy to go away. If Sakura had to go out with either Sasuke or Kankuro, there was no doubt which option Naruto preferred more―no matter that it wasn't his business at all.

All of the sudden a shadowy figure visiting the doorway caught his attention. Naruto blinked but the figure didn't reappear. A dark green color flooded into his mind, making him feel snarky and boisterous like a fox with an overgrown ego. But on the outside, he stayed calm as ever.

Like this meant nothing at all, Naruto lifted the popcorn bowl to his lap and leaned more comfortably on the sofa.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Hmm yeah maybe Gaara burning down his wrongdoers isn't the most original thing in the world but I wanted to include it in this story?_

 _About the burn barrel: in the country we used a burn barrel to dispose old clothes, fall leaves etc. We were always super worried the smoke would annoy the neighbors. I figured that men's suits would not burn as easily as that, given how thick they are. Also there might be some chemicals left in the fabric. That's why I thought they would be hard to burn, and a fluid lighter was needed. Also, because they wouldn't burn that fast, I concluded they would produce a lot of smoke. If I am mistaken, please feel free to correct me. I tried to research online how different materials burn and now I think I'm on some kind of a list… O_o_

 _I'm not too happy with the sex scene because I just wasn't feeling it. I hope it doesn't show too much in the writing. Sex is difficult to write. Why can't the characters just be moody and psychotic and depressed all the time? :] Hehe._

 _Also, Baki. Argh, what a headache, lol. I wanted him to be a good guy with some questionable traits. He's a criminal with conscience._

 _I just hope all the emotions/reactions/everything is logical in this chapter. 'Cause this chapter was a struggle and I wonder if I got lost in the way…_


	10. Sackhead Returns

**\+ + + Schizotypal + + +**

 **Disclaimer:** _I don't own 'Naruto' and I make no money from these writings_

 **A/N:** _This is the final chapter! :O Sorry for the long wait! *hides* Thank you all for your wonderful, amazing support, I truly appreciate it! *heart*_

 _I hope some parts in this chapter won't seem too surreal. But those surreal encounters are perhaps the most non-fictive part in this._

 _On a side note, Muse's song "The Dark Side" was a source of inspiration. I know the song is probably not about schizo experience but the lyrics fit into Naruto's character in this story. The singer's voice is so ghostly, like fog over water, or a ship sailing soundlessly in the night._

 _And David Lynch's production, such as Twin Peaks – The Return was a source of inspiration. His movie about the Elephant Man has also been an inspiration. His style is morbid and frightening and brilliant in ways that leaves you haunted for a long time._

* * *

 **Chapter 10: Sackhead Returns**

Over the past two weeks, not much had changed.

With a blessing from their sister Temari, the brothers had started to look for a new house somewhere far away from their unwanted neighbor. Unfortunately the price of their late parents' house was not as high as they had hoped, and Naruto remembered the apologetic look on the realtor's face when she had delivered the news.

As far as Naruto knew, their faraway sister would get one third of the money, and with the remaining two thirds they really hadn't much enviable options left. The need of renovation was apparent, not only in this childhood home they were slowly getting rid of, but on every other place there was on the market within their price range.

Whatever option they would eventually choose, it seemed clear they would lose an alarming amount of square meters and the garden, too, and instead be squashed in a place much smaller and less private.

Naruto peeked through the curtains of his room. Baki was nowhere to be seen now, but lately they had seen the man parading on his yard, taking care of the neglected garden and even though it looked like he never glanced this way, Naruto was sure that one hidden eye was constantly observing them.

Today was the first day of his week-long holiday. Naruto munched on chips while sitting on his bed, the crunchy sound bringing him odd comfort as it now felt he wasn't completely alone in this old, creaking house.

Kankuro was at work and Gaara was attending to his daily work try-out at the local youth work center, where Tenten worked at.

He was alone in the house and it was 10 o'clock in the morning. The chips were gone and the silence felt even stronger now than before. He hummed, trying to fool himself into believing he had a friend in here. A flickering presence―like a static screen of a television―behind his back made him turn around abruptly.

There was no one in sight.

Naruto squeezed the empty chip bag in his hand and the noise calmed him down. He did more of that, then hummed and eventually sang. The stairs creaked and with a frightened shriek, he dashed into the tiny bathroom across his room.

Behind the locked door he felt a tiny bit safer. A glance at his watch told him it would be only six more hours until somebody came home. Maybe it was the suspense movie he had seen the other day. Or that skillfully illustrated document about occultism, or just the lack of proper sleep added to his recently increased caffeine consumption.

Whatever the reason, one thing was clear.

He was back. The Elephant Man was waiting for him on the other side of the door.

* * *

The next day, Naruto made sure he ate an extra amount of breakfast before Gaara and Kankuro left the house, for he knew that when he was alone he might not have the courage to come back to the kitchen. No, he would be locked up in his room―or in the bathroom, if needed. At least there he could drink water and do his business.

Kankuro was still lazily eating his porridge when Naruto wished Gaara good day and then climbed up the stairs to his room. He hated holidays. He hated being alone like this. And when Sakura had reminded him of his unused vacation days, he hadn't had any idea how excruciating it would be to abide the law and stay out of work.

If he could, he would never stop working. Work brought a safe routine to his life, and being around other people prevented _them_ from coming to him.

It started with a tiny mechanical noise in his ears. It could've been the heating system or air ventilation as well. It got louder, harassing the border of his consciousness as he tried to shut his ears. It stopped, and then began again. His brain tried to figure out what the source of that confusing noise was.

And then it suddenly hit him.

Someone was dragging dead bodies in there, in the corridor, and the sound was coming closer.

Sunlight was pouring into his room. There were no shadowy corners or other signs of threat in sight, yet still someone was rapping at his door―for that was that weird new sound wasn't it? Someone at his door!

Naruto breathed heavily and squeezed the sheets. It wasn't even nine in the morning and he was already losing it. His heart rate sped up until it suddenly slowed down on its own. All the sounds disappeared into silence and the eerie presentiment hanging in the air yielded. Sunlight was suddenly stronger again and birds chirped cheerily behind the window.

How strange. But Naruto was too relieved to question it.

At noon Naruto was in the garden, watering the plants as he had promised to Gaara. Wind had picked up since morning and when it traveled through the yard, leaves hissed fearfully like an unorganized orchestra. A brief shower of rain rattled against the roof and windows and Naruto realized all the birds had fallen silent.

He glanced around but no one was there. Where ever he turned, he felt a looming presence behind his back and with fastened pace he strode back to the house. _Someone_ was following him but he couldn't see it, it was always behind his back.

Heart pounding he slammed the front door shut and leaned against it. Some dark corners in the hallway vibrated, reminding him once again of the static screen of TV. There was no one there but he could feel eyes on him.

He was about to climb up the stairs and return to his room, when a creaky sound came clearly from up there. His grip on the handrail tightened and when he heard someone breathe right in his ear he lost it and ran headlong out of the house, screaming.

Like a dart he shot across the yard, under his special apple tree, and squeezed the trunk with his trembling fingers.

The sounds of the world came back to him with each deep breath he took. Someone was mowing their lawn a few houses away. Birds were singing on the upper branches of the tree, and the ripe apples smelled sweet and delicious. A dog was barking somewhere, and a trio of children visiting their grandparents in a nearby house yelled and laughed and cried before something else caught their attention again.

Everybody was around him. He wasn't alone. The buzz of the lawnmower, as well as the high-pitched squeals of the happy children, anchored him into the present moment. Sackhead had no place in here.

Naruto stayed under the tree until he heard Kankuro's car hum along the street in the afternoon. Before the brunet could have a good view of the yard, Naruto was already there next to the short bushes, holding an empty watering can in his hand and pretending to be watering the plants.

* * *

The next day Naruto was all alone again.

He lay on his bed all but relaxed, staring fearfully around and startling at every little sound.

He was so scared he was sure he'd die from that alone. Even a move of his muscle could set motion to all the invisible things that floated in the room and send world into chaos. This was simply unbearable―he could not go on like this. This was too much. There was too much time left until someone would come home, and he was already on his limits. He couldn't go on like this.

He would die, or _worse_ and his heart was pounding like a washing machine at 1400 rpm.

This was too much. And he didn't want to feel this pervasive fear that locked him into place and numbed him from living his life. There had to be an option. There had to be a weapon to win against Sackhead.

Like, for example, claws so long they could pierce his enemy, claws which could cut sound or breath or _presence_. How it would be wonderful to slash his nightmare in slices and see him disappear like vapor. Naruto would grow tall and big and he would suck the world into the black hole in his belly, rise high like a balloon and then float in front of the sun.

Tables would be turned and Naruto would become the one Sackhead feared.

The Elephant Man would run away in fear this time and Naruto would follow him while cackling loudly like a coyote. The fear of others would be his gasoline, it would be the air he breathed and the meat he feasted on, until all the fear in the world would be inside his swollen belly, and he would become the strongest of them all.

Naruto smirked and got up from the bed. Pulling his shoulders back and fixing his posture, he scanned the room with a wide grimace on his face. His sharp row of teeth glistened in the sunlight and eerily he cracked his knuckles.

His claws were sabers long and merciless, his fur was an armor, hard like concrete, and on his back it rose to spikes sharp like those of a hedgehog's. With a growl he let his presence known and the sweet tremor of energy around him told him they were all afraid of him.

He growled and laughed and his fear subsided to minimum. His thoughts were arrows that quickly found their destination. Intrigued, Naruto followed where they led him.

Without advance warning he ripped open his closet and scanned it with his blazing eyes. The presence got away―this time―but he followed it to the bathroom, jumping behind the shower curtain only to feel _him_ escape again. With a grin so wide it hurt his face he cantered along the corridor, down the stairs, growling and stopping only at the stairs that led to the basement floor.

As long as he had lived here, he had felt dread towards that dimly lit set of stairs that led underground. But as soon as fear flickered in him, he gritted his teeth and ran headlong there, yelling and catching air in his fists, trying to get a hold of the presence he wanted to demolish.

The energy was fast and he hissed in frustration as it flew right past him, back upstairs, and he followed and cursed and punched a wall just to give a warning.

This was it. He was going to end it, once and for all, and with a desperate yell he ran to his room and sunk his nails in the carpet. The feeble pulse of energy against his palm felt satisfying and the victorious grin on his face revealed his fangs. In order to drive away the uncertain amount of fear in his own heart, he growled threateningly.

Slowly the energy vanished and he wasn't sure if it was truly dying or just sinking under the floorboards. Exhausted, he lay down on the carpet and stared at the ceiling. After all he had been through, he felt oddly peaceful.

"Hello."

It was Gaara's soft voice, but he was not in the house.

"Are you okay?" the voice asked again and Naruto smiled feebly, feeling more comforted by his auditory hallucination than he probably should.

Those were the two things Gaara often said whenever he came to his room when he was in the middle of something intense that was going on inside his head.

The idea that even at a moment like this his dear, cherished friend was here beside him, looking after him, made him courageous and calm and right then he just knew that whatever false vision or sound or feeling his unstable mind would offer him, he would be alright.

Gaara would be there, looking after him, even if it was only in his head.

More than well he knew his symptoms seemed to be sadly taking a more psychotic turn, but unlike ever before, now he felt he had a weapon against the horrors that kept him painfully aware of the world hidden from others.

No matter if wolves howled next to his bed, or if the Elephant Man's leather gloves slowly tightened around his throat, or if the rapping noises all over his room never stopped, he could take it. His body would always remain intact, and all he had to do was let the visions walk past him and run the course they had.

When the real Gaara came home later, he spotted Naruto lying on the bed, hands neatly crossed over his stomach. Naruto heard him approach and when their gazes met, he noticed his friend's concern. If only he had words which would explain what he was feeling, but there were none.

All he had was this overwhelming peace and the knowledge that no matter what, a part of Gaara would always be there by his side.

Gaara dropped his bag to the floor and quietly lay down next to him. His warm hand stroked Naruto's expressionless face. Naruto wanted to move, to speak but all he could feel was colors. And the colors were nothing but a scattered mess floating and connecting and mending together. Maybe an hour or longer they stayed like that. The colors were glowing in yellow hues now and Naruto found his voice.

"There is a man I fear the most. The sack on his head hides his face, and when he unveils it for you, the game is over. In my orange form I fought him. I evolved into something bigger and each of my fingers turned into a dagger. When my body lay on the ground, victorious, peace overcame. I was not alone. You were there, under my skin. You are under my skin and your perpetual love is what keeps me in course."

Time seemed to stop. Gaara's pensive stare penetrated all of his layers. Maybe he saw his soul right then.

"You are under my skin, in my heart. But then there are others, hovering over my skin and hiding me underneath. But the most precious feeling is you by my side, and I know you will never go away."

Slowly Naruto's eyes moved to Gaara, but the rest of him lay still and he felt like a stone. The room was a river scurrying fast by, but he and Gaara were rocks in the bottom, unmoving and everlasting.

"I am a fox, sometimes. I've been a girl and a handsome man. But now, my skin is concrete and somewhere under, lava slowly streams. I am safe now. Nothing can hurt me."

Gaara nested Naruto's head under his chin, slowly stroking his arm. Naruto was happy he hadn't tried to kiss him, for his lips were stiff and made out of cement. He was afraid Gaara wouldn't understand.

"I am here for as long as you need me to. I'm not going away," the redhead finally said. "You can always talk to me. I am not afraid of anything."

The lava underneath shifted and bubbled and his thick armor warmed up. Yellow got stronger and his chained soul expanded. For everything this world―or the one only he saw―could offer, the only thing he needed was Gaara.

* * *

A week later, the ice covering Naruto's consciousness had almost melted and he wasn't a prisoner of his frozen mind anymore. Even so his emotions hadn't yet returned inside his body. Right now his feelings were a disoriented tangle a few meters away from him, like a big ball of yarn. And he was attached to that bundle with two thin strings.

Always after his psychotic episodes his brain went blank for a week or so, as if his mind was trying to recover from the overdrive it had endured. Each time recovery was slow yet sure.

But this time it seemed his change of mood hadn't gone unnoticed by certain redhead.

"Is there something wrong with you, Naruto?" Gaara asked as they parked on their home yard after a trip to nearby grocery store.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm better than ever," Naruto replied confidently and pulled out his keys from the ignition switch.

But Gaara only gave him a suspicious look. The blond ignored it and unbuckled his seat belt. He was about to get out of the car when he realized his friend wasn't making a move to leave. A little confused, Naruto stayed still and tried to understand what was going on.

"Aren't you going to put the handbrake on?" Gaara asked.

Sure enough, the handbrake was not on. Naruto wondered what had caused him to forget, but quickly fixed his mistake and thought nothing more of it.

"Naruto…" the redhead's voice was softer now. He looked worried. "I hate to tell you this but you don't drive as well as you used to."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto huffed and crossed his arms in a defensive manner.

Gaara averted his gaze, searching for words. "To me it looks like you're not able to read the traffic quickly enough, and it leads you into a lot of surprises. Like that van you almost crashed into. It was right in front of you, Naruto."

Naruto's mouth was a tight line and he stared through the dusty windshield of his beloved vehicle. The van had appeared out of nowhere and it was ridiculous to blame him for not seeing it fast enough.

"Besides, I've noticed you've started parking your car further away from other vehicles. At first I didn't think anything of it, until I noticed how difficult it was for you to aim between the parking lines when there are distractions around," Gaara said quietly and his voice sounded so sad.

"I've just been tired lately," Naruto explained.

"Is that really it? As far as I know, you sleep more hours now than before."

"Well who are you? A police?" the blond quipped and stepped out of the car.

Gaara followed, albeit his movements were calm and hesitant. He took out the groceries from the back seat and when the blond was making his way towards the house, he called after him.

"The doors, Naruto."

With an annoyed huff, the blond strode back and locked the doors. When he put his keys into his pocket, he realized his phone was missing. Gaara met his alarmed look with a soft expression.

"Maybe check inside the glove department," the redhead only said and started walking to the house.

All evening Naruto was feeling uneasy. The distress pulsed inside his ball of yarn and he glanced at the imaginary thing. Inside his heart, he didn't feel much of anything. Emotions were on the outside, out of his reach, and they didn't hurt him like they used to.

He didn't like that Gaara had noticed this and that. What he had said made Naruto look like an unaware boat sailing amiss on the sea. He was not lost, even though his head was a swarming beehive more often than not. There was a reason why he wanted Gaara to accompany him to grocery store.

Gaara brought structure with his lists and perfect memory. It never ceased to amaze Naruto how well Gaara could recall where everything was. There seemed to be a map of some kind in his head, something Naruto didn't have. Every time he tried to memorize what he needed to get, but it just seemed someone kept on wiping clean the whiteboard of his mind.

Sometimes he became frustrated when they were in the mall and he tried to locate a shop he didn't visit regularly. Easily he could admit that his head felt like a cloud of fog more often than not, but it still annoyed him that he had no sense of direction whatsoever. Secretly he was worried if it was visible to anyone else.

His frustration was likely to channel into him saying: "They've changed the order again" or "Why do they have to make this such a maze."

Of course, Gaara met his confusion always with calm resolution, telling him time after time that nothing had actually been changed since the last time.

His fog head and nonexistent sense of direction combined made Naruto wary of new places. A few times now he had been lost searching for an exit, a thing he was sure to keep as a well-protected secret. It was not because of him not paying attention to his surroundings. He just couldn't recall the little details that were essential in finding what he was looking for.

If he was completely honest with himself, he sometimes felt like that while driving, too. On his bad days, he would be screwed if his usual route was somehow blocked and he would have to find another one―quickly. It put such a strain on his brain that he had started to fear driving. But this of course was another one of his carefully kept secrets.

* * *

He would never forget the first time he saw Temari.

As much as he had understood from between the lines, he had imagined her to be this strong-willed, stone-hard woman who bended under no one's command. The way Kankuro always corrected his posture when talking on the phone with her, gave Naruto a feeling she was someone not to be toyed with. And the way how Gaara's eyes widened in surprise, soon to be followed by a light blush on his cheeks when Temari said something to him over the phone, told Naruto she had to be a caring sister despite everything that had previously happened.

That fragile-looking ghost limping slowly towards them with two crutches could not be _her_. That was not what he had imagined Gaara and Kankuro's sister to be like.

Behind her, a lazy looking man stood silent, evaluating the house with his attentive stare. But when he lit another cigarette his eyes quickly visited the brothers―and Naruto―standing on the yard.

Temari stopped in front of her brothers with a hard slam of her crutches' tips against the ground. The brothers instantly straightened up, and Naruto felt the urge to snicker until her eyes turned to him. Instantly, he collected himself and corrected his posture.

"This house looks like shit," was her apt notion. "Has anyone shown any interest in buying this?"

"N-No," Kankuro said apologetically like it was his personal fault.

Temari's studying gaze went through the yard, through the thick, exuberant garden. "The garden is magnificent. It could raise the value of this place. Good job, Gaara."

There was no mistaking the grateful, faint blush that instantly lit up on Gaara's face. If such an expression was even possible for him, it looked like he was beaming.

Even with her posture slumped, with her movements slow and measured, she looked impressive in her priest attire. The attentive man behind her stayed silent the whole time, and the only indication he was even there was the sickly scent of smoke.

"I am interested in buying this house."

Everyone turned to look at the source of the voice. Baki stood on the border of their yards, crossing the line despite no one inviting him, and stopped only when he had reached the five of them. Gaara leaned closer to Kankuro, and Naruto took his hand.

But Temari limped between the man and his brothers so quickly it looked threatening. The tips of her crutches slammed against the ground, almost hitting the tips of their neighbor's shoes, and while it didn't look intentional, it didn't look like an accident, either.

Baki took a few steps back. His hesitation soon merged into determination and Temari's grip on her crutches tightened.

"My daughter and her husband are having a baby. They're looking for a house nearby, and I just happened to hear you're selling yours. I'm sure they'd love to buy this, and I could throw in some extra money just because… Well, let's say I only want the best for you," Baki said but only looked at Gaara, "And it feels like this is the only way you'll let me do it."

Before Kankuro could open his mouth and deliver his exact thoughts―Naruto already noticed the brunet's fist clenching, and he had no doubts he would refuse the offered deal in a blink―Temari held out her hand and silenced her brother.

"How much extra?" she asked.

"Well, I was thinking of something along the lines of 5,000$," Baki clarified.

"40,000$," Temari said coolly.

"Forty? Are you out of your mind?" Baki chocked on his spit and stared at her in poignant disbelief.

"Consider what the amount would be if we sued you."

That seemed to shut him up. Never before had Naruto seen such uneasy hesitation on their neighbor's face. The two of them continued their negotiations of proper compensation, and Naruto was secretly amazed how skillfully she grilled Baki, like she had his fingers on a bench vice.

In the end of the day, they managed to get a fair deal out of their neighbor, who returned to his side of the yard with his head hung in defeat.

Later in the evening, right before their guests would head back home, Naruto overheard Temari and Kankuro talking in the kitchen.

"Hey… Sorry I couldn't help you back then, when you asked me to take care of Gaara," Temari's voice said.

"Yeah, well, it's in the past now. Things turned out pretty well, after all," the brunet replied with resentment.

"I didn't mean to be rude back then. I just… I was in no condition to take care of anyone, as you can imagine," she said, and when Naruto heard the sound of her crutches softly clanking against the floor soon after, she had to be drawing attention to them.

"What did the doctors say?" Kankuro's voice asked and now his resentment was replaced with worry.

"They said they need to take more tests. They're not sure of the cause, it could be genetic, or a virus of some kind. If it turns out to be genetic, I'll let you know. I'd hate if this happened to either of you," Temari's voice explained, and her tone was full of care and concern.

* * *

A week later Naruto was feeling a lot more like himself. The fog had cleared from his mind, and the distance between his inner world and the world everyone else experienced, had diminished.

With cautious hope he could say he felt like a normal person, again. And each time this feeling of normalcy hit him, he felt like it would last forever. For a numerous times now, he had been 'healed'.

"Have you thought of seeing someone for help?" Gaara asked out of the blue, when they were lounging on his bed on one sunny afternoon.

"Why would I need help?" Naruto asked back.

But Gaara wasn't fooled by his casual tone. "You've been more anxious lately."

"I haven't," Naruto argued. His muscles tensed and suddenly there was no position he felt comfortable in.

Gaara only gave him a knowing look in return. Naruto pouted until he found the drawstrings of Gaara's hoodie and started to fiddle them. The redhead calmly let it go on for a while, until he pulled Naruto into a hug which felt a little too sad to be thoroughly comforting.

"Have you thought of attending to therapy?"

Naruto shook his head as a 'no'. Annoyance raised its head somewhere inside of him.

"Therapy requires me to trust that person, and I'm not sure I can do that. I'm not good at trusting others, or letting someone into my thoughts. The best I can do is to try to see past my blind spots and study my ideas by myself. I have the tools. They just don't work every time."

Gaara looked at him somewhat worriedly. "Isn't there a pill that could help you?"

Naruto scoffed and his face darkened, "Yeah. But in long-term, there's not much difference in my opinion. The problem is so deep within the way I am, that nothing can take it away. Besides, medication waters my colors down. And I don't want it. I don't want to be insipid, Gaara."

"But wouldn't you feel better if your 'colors' weren't so overwhelming?" Gaara asked.

To that, Naruto refused to answer and only crossed his arms.

"They won't schedule me any appointments unless I was suicidal. They just don't have enough resources for anything less severe," Naruto said.

"I wonder if that's true," Gaara only replied.

"Well I'm not reaching out for them just to hear the word 'no'. I've gotten this far by myself, so what's the harm in going on like this for a little while longer," the blond reasoned. "Besides, the stigma is even worse than the possible rejection. It takes years to get that stain out of you."

"I don't doubt that," Gaara agreed, "But if you ever decide to seek for help, I'll be there with every step."

* * *

Things had taken a turn for the better. Not only was the generous amount of money from Baki expanding their housing options, but Sakura had promised to help them with renovating the place they would eventually end up in. New houses were strictly out of their reach, but with the extra money, they were able to look for places with more space.

And it just happened that Sakura started to attend in the property displays with them. Her father owned a business in the branch of construction, and as she always remembered to tell, she wasn't helpless with fixing things, either.

"This wouldn't be a bad place," Kankuro noted, glancing around the empty house they were visiting that day. "This could actually be really good."

Sure, the wallpaper was in shreds for the most parts, the roof needed maybe a little more than just a coat of paint, and the kitchen―well, it was safe to say it had seen its best days long time ago.

"This could be our room," Sakura pointed at the bedroom near the kitchen, and Naruto just stopped right then and there to wonder if he had heard it right.

Kankuro was standing on the doorway with her, his hand subtly resting on the small of her back, not really looking at the room she was talking about, but looking at her with the kindest, most caring look on his face. They walked to the next room, it was a smaller bedroom, and it looked like they were in a world of their own―one Naruto was not a part of―and they were seeing a future that wasn't visible to anyone else.

By the time Kankuro leaned down to kiss her, Naruto had already left.

He found Gaara on the porch. As he should've known, the redhead wasn't very interested in the house itself, but the yard.

"The soil is different here. It's much richer. Look at those bushes over there," Gaara pointed his finger at a nearby collection of leafless vegetation, "Those would've never survived at home. They can't thrive in a soil that has too much clay in it."

Naruto sat next to him, not taking part in the conversation, but listening closely what his boyfriend had to say. The excitement―however well hidden―was audible in Gaara's voice and in that moment Naruto realized that if only he had Gaara by his side, he wouldn't care where they lived, or who lived with them.

It looked like everyone was pretty excited about the promising single-storey house. It had a large living room, a worn-out kitchen, a bathroom that desperately needed re-tiling, and three bedrooms. Two of the bedrooms were on the other side of the house, and the one which was very large for two people to comfortably live in, was on the opposite side. That large bedroom also had its own bathroom.

On their way home, Sakura held the wheel relaxedly and glanced at Naruto via the rear mirror.

"Hey Naruto, what would you say if I lived in the same house with you three?"

They all launched into a conversation of how such an arrangement would work out. Cautiously Naruto asked if the happy couple would want him and Gaara living in their corners. The feeling of being a burden was all too familiar to him, and he was not keen on re-living it.

"We would love to live with you two," Kankuro said from the passenger's seat. He was looking at Naruto so directly that the blond had no choice but to believe him this time.

"And you know… Maybe in the future, if we're going to have a kid," Kankuro started, glancing unsurely at his love interest, "We would really appreciate it if you'd be a part of our family. We could really need a helping hand, and I think it's good if children get used to different kinds of people straight from the beginning."

Naruto tensed in his seat, not sure what to feel. Gaara looked relaxed and uncaring. It could very well be he was still thinking about the rich soil, and Naruto shook his head in amusement.

"I've thought that if there's ever going to be any addition to our family, you know," Kankuro began unsurely again, "Then I'm going to take paternity leave from work so that Sakura can better concentrate on her work."

"You don't know anything about kids, Kankuro. No wonder you're begging us to be there for you," Gaara's voice came flatly, surprising them all.

Ashamed blush exploded on the brunet's face. "Hey, I know a lot more about kids than you do. As your older brother, I'm very accustomed to taking care of the younger."

"You are two years older than me," Gaara pointed out coolly.

"Yeah? But just so that you know, I've changed your diapers so many times I can't even remember," Kankuro rivaled.

"You didn't. Temari did, and you were there in your playsuit, chewing on your toys. Mom told me," Gaara said right back at him.

"Tch. That's not how it was," the older brother snapped, his face red.

"You're wrong."

"No, you're wrong," Kankuro retorted and the rest of the drive went by quickly while the brothers bickered.

Sakura exchanged a look with Naruto through the rear mirror, and the blond had to bite his cheek so that he wouldn't burst out laughing.

* * *

Autumn had turned into winter and three months had walked by surprisingly fast.

The house Naruto had moved into in last spring was now nothing but a memory to him, to all of them. In the end, that single-storey three-bedroom house had permanently stolen their hearts, as everyone seemed to be able to imagine their futures in a place like that, and now they had lived there for two long months already.

Renovation was a steady, determined process moving from one room to another, and it was all thanks to Sakura's cool-headed, organized way of handling things that they had made this much progress in the first place. Days went by with each of them attending to work, and Gaara, he was studying to be a youth worker with the support of his family and Tenten. On evenings and weekends, Sakura's parents dropped by to help them with everything they could.

Gaara and Naruto were living on the other end of the house, in the large bedroom which had its own bathroom. Kankuro and Sakura were sleeping in the second largest bedroom on the opposite side of the house. And the smaller room right next to theirs had now walls painted with the color of springy green.

By now they were all painfully accustomed to each other's routines, and the large living room and cozy kitchen separating the two worlds from one another felt like a blessing. The renovation in itself, the sawdust that always seemed to be floating everywhere no matter what, the banging of the hammer and the noise of the drill, accompanied with the daily clamor of them shouting at each other over the hassle, was effectively getting on everyone's nerves.

Because it was winter, Gaara had no chance of escaping into gardening. He was locked inside the house, sulking when the noise lasted too long for his liking, and when Naruto tried to cheer him up, he was shot down every time.

Sakura was an apt leader, yet leading the renovation process tended to bring out her less admirable tendencies. She wanted them to work harder, better, faster, and in no time she began finding faults in the way how Gaara had dealt with the wallpaper, or the disarrayed way Naruto had nailed the flooring lists, or the thoughtless way Kankuro had painted himself in the corner one evening.

Kankuro didn't seem to mind about the bossing, but when the kitchen was a permanent mess of chaos and he was unable to fulfill his culinary ambitions, he became frustrated and tight. Everyone else seemed to be completely fine with surviving on canned foods and delivery pizzas, but after a week of such lifestyle, Kankuro became discontent.

Naruto followed this all with calm mood, secretly proud he was above all this. He tried to subtly comfort each and every one his precious people, trying to remind them of the positive sides of the hassle, and how it would be soon over anyway. Needless to say, his attempts often met a wall of rejection. But he never let it bother him too much, and he was starting to think that nothing could get him down.

Until he started losing stuff. Where was his cell phone again? Could somebody please call it, one more time? He had left his shirt in this chair just yesterday, where was it now? Other people kept on losing his things, hiding them from him and while at first he thought it was just an honest accident on their part, soon he began doubting they did it on purpose.

When his phone and keys were lost again one morning and it threateningly looked like he was going to be late for work, he snapped at Kankuro that the coffee was too thin this morning. This, in turn, made Kankuro huff in annoyance and dramatically pour the remaining amount of coffee down the drain. His muttered curse of how impossible it was to do anything properly in this mess they called a kitchen remained not unheard by Naruto.

Soon after that little fight, Gaara walked into the kitchen, shocked to hear that there was no coffee left for him. When it soon turned out that they were suddenly out of coffee grounds altogether―or maybe Kankuro had purposely hidden the packet, Naruto thought―the redhead growled and left the room with a dark cloud above his head.

A moment later Sakura burst into the room, face red with anger and her hair a mess, complaining that Gaara was once again hogging the bathroom to himself. She was in a hurry here, she would have to be out of the door in five minutes and her hair was still wet, and why god _why_ couldn't Gaara use that little bathroom he had in his room?

And with a spirit on irritation living tightly on their skin, they all left for their daily tasks and returned in the evening to fight some more.

It went on like that for another two months, until finally at the end of March, the renovation was complete.

* * *

Naruto fondly remember that one relaxed Sunday they had declared an end to the nerve-wrecking nuisance that also went by the name of renovation process. During that shared exertion they had all become painfully familiar with each other's flaws, and at times the tension in the house had been so strong he had feared it would break them apart.

Without any trouble he remembered the numerous bumps on his head which he had endured whenever Sakura had found out about his dummy mistakes. How on earth was it his fault that wallpaper wasn't supposed to be put on horizontally? He had never paid attention to details like that, and now in retrospect, it was their fault for asking him to do it in the first place.

Thinking of Sakura, over the past months his rosy image of her had brutally shattered to pieces. More than well now Naruto knew how bad-tempered she could get, especially in the mornings. He had no idea how Kankuro could put up with someone like her. And the more he saw them cuddling on the couch, or standing by the stove holding hands, the less he remembered to pay attention to Kankuro's handsome looks or how beautiful his voice was.

He didn't feel as awkward around him anymore and today he saw him as a brother, or maybe even as a father-figure, he wasn't sure. First and foremost, Sakura was his friend and his boss, but the more they bickered over details Naruto never noticed but which seemed to hold great importance to Sakura, the more he was reminded of the brotherly arguments Gaara and Kankuro were caught in every once in a while.

But not only to their faults, they were also introduced to each other's strengths during the time they had lived together. Sakura was able to think fast and make quick decisions when needed. Out of the four of them, she got things done most effectively, and while it wasn't always a joy to be under her leadership, they all had to admit she was fair, honest and thorough.

While Gaara was not the most visible―nor loudest―part of their team, his calm approach turned out to be an important factor on many occasions. While the three of them were shouting at each other and competing over whose opinion was the best, it was often Gaara who brought something new and unseen to their decision-making. Like that one time, when he had casually pointed out that they shouldn't be wasting money on expensive tiles in the bathroom, because the piping system would fall under renovation in the next seven years, and by then they would have to tear down the tiles again.

Those orange, pink and purple tiles they had been arguing over were expensive, indeed. And it just happened that a set of jade green tiles was on discount around that time. They were all anxious to save money, and so Gaara's suggestion had been accepted without further thought.

Naruto liked to view himself as the inspiring part of their family. While he admitted being stubborn and set in his ways, he was also encouraging and tried to help everyone even when his help was not needed, but an actual hindrance.

In their family of four, Kankuro was like a tall tree that protectively draped its branches over them all. With his enthusiasm to cook, he prepared dishes one more delicious after another. As well as he could, he tried to take everyone's preferences into account when planning meals. In his modest way, the brunet truly loved them all.

But tonight, Naruto was too distracted to think about those delicious treats that were sure to get him drooling.

Tonight, he had eyes for one thing only.

Sakura and Kankuro were dining with her parents before going to the movies. They wouldn't be home until very late.

Naruto hissed in anticipation, and it was not because he was naked, his hands tied behind his back, or because Gaara was looming over him with the sexiest look on his face.

No, it was because this time, Gaara was sensually rolling a condom over Naruto's cock.

The blond was lying on his back, erection stone-hard just by the idea of Gaara riding him. When the redhead finally straddled over him and guided Naruto's lubed cock to his stretched entrance, the blond hissed in wild want. Slowly, Gaara lowered himself down, taking Naruto in little by little.

Never on earth would he have thought that one day, this restrained redhead wanted to re-consider their accustomed roles. But it seemed like the months spent far away from the scenery that was painfully tied to his past, had opened him up faster than Naruto could've ever believed.

He kept his eyes on Gaara's face, at the deepening blush taking over his pale cheeks, drowning in the ragged breaths that escaped his sweet, sweet lips. Naruto twitched against his confines and watched as his cock slid deeper and deeper into that tormenting tightness that was Gaara's ass. The butt plug Gaara had used lay now somewhere on the floor, forgotten.

"F-Fuck, Naruto," the redhead growled and his hesitant movements stopped. His fingers searched for a place to comfortably lean against, until they settled on Naruto's chest and thigh. He started to move again, this time altering his pace in search of a perfect angle, and when he found it, he cried out in pleasure.

"G-Gaara," the blond breathed and his wrists automatically fought against his restrains, but he couldn't do anything but let the divine redhead ride him the way he pleased. He pushed his hips upwards, satisfied with the way Gaara's face scrunched up in pleasure when their rhythm found a perfect harmony.

Gaara's hard cock was swaying along his movements, untouched, and Naruto wanted to pump it, to suck it, to make him feel good― _so good_ ―but he couldn't. Instead he just opened his heart to the arousing sight of Gaara's half-lidded eyes gazing down at him, dreamy and hazy and full of lust.

Naruto was afraid he would come too soon and finish first, but it turned out his worries were premature. Gaara was pounding himself along Naruto's length, each time skillfully aiming for that sweet spot, until it was too much for the redhead and he came, screaming with pleasure, squeezing Naruto's skin in desperate need.

And Naruto lay there, restrained, his chest now covered in the evidence of Gaara's love, and watched as the redhead pulled the hard cock out of his ass. Before Naruto could say anything, Gaara rolled off the condom and wiped his hands on a sanitary wipe, before gripping Naruto's erection again.

With some added lube, pale fingers rubbed around the tip, teasing the underside of it, pulling the foreskin back and forth and then gently caressing the underside again. And under that kind of attention Naruto moaned with hoarse voice, his wrists secured behind his back, trying to get free but never succeeding, and when the image of Gaara completely losing himself on top of him returned to his mind, he came hard with an incoherent cry.

Later on they had cleaned up the mess and the butt plug was hidden somewhere no one would accidentally find it. Naruto leaned against Gaara's chest, tracing along the texture of his flannel shirt and the little plastic buttons.

He could see it now, their life together, today and forever. They would be in this house, or in any other place, but what would be most important, they would be together. And no matter the instability that plagued them both, they would find a way to go through it all.

* * *

A row of cacti one more peculiar after another sat on the windowsill, basking in the pale daylight of mid-April's sun.

Fluffy _Mammillaria bocasana_ enjoyed its life in the middle of its friends. A little crown of yellow buds pushed through its head, and the springy beams welcomed the imminent blossom with their tender caress. Day by day the air was getting warmer, the sun hotter, and the high banks of snow in their backyard were resiliently sweating into the soil.

"Hey Gaara," Naruto said and pointed his finger at a large cactus sitting on the desk, apart from the others, "You used to be like that."

Gaara's gaze stopped on the appointed plant. It was so wide it had no place on the sill, but had to settle for a wider—yet lonelier—space elsewhere.

"That's _Echinocactus grusonii_ , or a golden barrel cactus to its friends," the redhead informed.

Naruto remembered the names for two seconds until his attention was back on the grouchy plant.

"Yeah. You had these million sharp spines that were directed at everywhere, and you were sulking in your pot all alone and forgotten. But today, you're more like that fluffy fellow," he told and gently pressed his finger against the powder puff cactus' gentle hooks, "You're blooming."

Gaara resumed reading his book like he was uninterested. But Naruto knew better.

"Didn't you have something to do?" the redhead asked.

With a smile Naruto sat down on the bed next to his boyfriend. "Well, they said they don't need my help with baking the pie," he sighed disappointedly and glared at the general direction of the kitchen. "Can you believe it, Gaara, it has only been a few months and I'm already banned from the kitchen."

A small smile appeared on the redhead's face but it was gone as quickly as it came. Naruto pouted and crossed his arms. Sure, the chicken he had helped with had ended up partially raw, partially overcooked which was "an astonishing achievement on its own"—a straight quote from Kankuro. And his miracles didn't end there. Watery lasagna and sugary meat soup were also fruits of his helping hands, and he had no idea why Kankuro acted so sour because of it.

Gaara closed his book and seized Naruto's hand. "What are we going to do with your sharp spines? Last night you were trembling under the blanket again like there was a murdered in the room."

"I was just cold," the blond cleared out the unnecessary notion. But Gaara didn't buy it.

"Then why did you ask me to come to the bathroom with you?"

In daylight, such questions seemed absurd, and Naruto didn't like the studying look he was receiving. "Alright. Maybe I did. I'm sorry! I didn't feel like going alone, okay?"

But his frustration was met with calmness, as Gaara only sighed and squeezed his hand, not letting go.

"You can't go on like this, can you?"

"Who are you to say that?" Naruto argued, pulling his hand away. He quickly rubbed his face, but the sensation of Kyuubi's dark-rimmed eyes hovering on his skin didn't vanish. He knew his eyes looked normal, in real world. Yet still he could feel the thin, black lines outlining his lids.

He wanted to say to Gaara that they were like twins now, with similar kind of eyes, and that this little association made him feel a tiny bit better about himself, about everything, but he knew Gaara would not see it. No, his friend would never really see what he meant, how something like this made him feel safer yet more anxious at the same time. The fact that there were things too bizarre to ever share with anyone made his heart ache. To anybody else, he was surely a textbook example of crazy, but to him these colorful sensations were as natural as any other thing.

But what made him sad was that there was always a world he existed alone in, a world he could never share with anyone.

He would never have a friend in there, no one to see what he saw, no one to share the rush of fear that kept him awake at night.

The sun hid behind grey cotton of clouds and the row of cacti looked lost and lonely.

Last night, he had tried to imagine himself a set of mighty claws and an armor equivalent of a hedgehog's yet strangely it had not helped. And it never ceased to surprise him how Gaara could sleep so peacefully in the midst of _their_ snake-hisses and excited breaths, how he could ignore the creaking floorboards and the hand that landed on top of the blanket whenever Naruto was about to sink into tiredness.

"I only want to help," Gaara told and wrapped his arms around him. Every hesitant move of Gaara's muscles told about hopelessness, about despair, and in that moment Naruto realized they might be sharing this desolation on a level he had not expected.

He felt guilty for being like this, for standing on the border of two worlds and making his loved one worry. No matter how many times Gaara kept on telling him he was needed and loved, Naruto couldn't escape the doubt that all of their lives would be an ounce easier if he weren't around.

But just as the image of his worlds ending appeared in his mind, Gaara embraced him more tightly and anchored him in the moment until nothing else fit into his head but the steady beat of Gaara's heart. It resonated against Naruto's skin, seeping through the tissues of muscle to travel in his veins and to his heart, until the two of them were nothing but just two hearts beating in the same rhythm.

And Naruto wanted to tell about Kyuubi, about the orange glow he sometimes felt, about the glistening skin of Kankuro wrapping around him like a foil, or the weight of breasts on his chest and the width of his hips that was there, even though it wasn't. He wanted to tell how cold the colors appeared, whenever Kyuubi stared at the world through his eyes, and how the colors shifted back to normal when he was gone.

And he wanted to tell how he sometimes was frozen and stagnant like bedrock, until eventually he would liquefy and travel the rivers with high speed in his molten form. He would outrace everyone and everything, and his extreme velocity would polish away the last of his stiff exterior that so often kept him captive.

There was so much to tell, so much that made sense only to him but to no one else.

But maybe if he tried, he could put it into words that made sense?

"I'm not as stable as I let on. I may lose my ability to work one day. It could be that I refuse to seek help, and instead take my fate into my own hands. I'm paranoid to a varying degree, and from experience I know it can get really bad. I won't exclude the option of taking my own life, but so far it has never been considered.

"I'm not alone and it scares me. They're here, inside my head or on the surface of my skin, and I don't know how many more there will be. Some of them have names. I will act irrationally to any outsider's eye but if you have the patience to learn my patterns, you'll see that everything happens for a reason.

"I wasn't always like this, this bad, but as years started to pile on my shoulders I changed. I can't promise how I'll end up, but if I have you by my side, I have tremendously much hope that I will make it through this life."

Gaara replied by caressing his hair, keeping him close instead of pushing him away like Naruto had feared. His breath was on his scalp, his lips kissing the yellow spikes of his hair, and his heart thumped fast against him. Gaara kissed his forehead, his cheek and then his lips, but the desperation Gaara had felt earlier was now replaced with solid confidence.

"One thing I can promise," Gaara said quietly. "I'll always be there for you, in a form or another. I don't know which path my life will go to, but I'll keep holding your hand where ever we end up in."

Naruto's heart happily sang a melody only they knew, melody of their own, and Gaara's heart kept on drumming faithfully against his skin. In this world they shared, all was well for now, and the little rustles and breaths carrying from behind his back, from the _other world_ , were tightly blocked by Gaara's protective hold on him.

Whichever world he was in, he was not alone. Gaara was there in both of them, with flesh and bone or with a form of voice. And it was the most beautiful, wonderful thing that had happened in his mediocre life.

And from that alone, he would live and push through the hardships.

And the loving hum of Gaara's heart told him that maybe he, too, had the same kind effect on him.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **A/N:** _Thank you for reading! Please believe that this is the happiest ending I could come up with!_

 _If you're feeling like Naruto (or Gaara) in this story, please seek for help. You (and your life) are just as valuable as anybody else's. You matter. There's a chance things will turn out better, and you can take the first step on the path that leads you out of where you are now._ _ **There's always hope**_ _, even if you wouldn't see it at the very moment._

 _It has been fun yet mentally draining to write this. I'm sure you could tell that many times I was confused where this story was supposed to go to. It was like a walk in the dark sometimes. Like in life, there is no direction, just an experience after another. But even so I think I managed to weave a plot of some kind into this._

 _Sometimes I think the story moved forward a bit too rapidly, for example when Naruto and Gaara were on the beach in chapter 6 and they had their first romantic moment… I mean, their feelings just suddenly developed and now in retrospect I wonder how smooth that was. Also, Kiba and Sasuke were such dicks, I'm sorry._

 _About the theme: In ICD-10 criteria, schizotypal personality disorder (F21) has some overlapping symptoms with an actual schizophrenia (F20). To be honest I'm not a doctor and whether or not Naruto is more schizophrenic than "just" schizotypal, is up to your imagination. In some cases schizotypal personality disorder can develop into actual schizophrenia._

 _Why didn't I put Naruto in therapy or in medication? Because in case of schizotypals (as far as I know, please correct me if I'm mistaken), medication doesn't necessarily be the best help in a long term. Medication helps with psychotic symptoms, but those psychotic symptoms might not be there all the time. There's a cycle and it is eternal. Therapy gives you tools to deal with your thought patterns etc. but it's hard to form a close relationship with your shrink. Shrink is a person, and people are very scary. It's hard to trust. But with the loving support from his family, I'm sure Naruto will make it._


End file.
